Save Me

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Oh taste this.” I hold up a cracker with maple honey mustard for Ray to take.

  “Hmm, that’s good. We should buy some. Hey, I’m going to go check to the snow sculptures.” He kisses me quickly before running off to the other end of the Green. I nod, and turn my attention back to the stall.

  “I’ll take a jar.” The lady behind the table isn’t local and has obviously traveled to town to sell her products. “You should ask Laura at the General Store if she’d like to sell this. I’m sure you could work something out. We have other Vermont made products in there.”

  “Thanks, I’ll give her a call.” She hands me my bag just as I pay for my purchase. “Thanks, again.”

  I wave and start toward the next tent.

  “Hello, Penelope.”

  I freeze at the sound of my name, a name I haven’t heard roll off anyone’s lips since I left California. I close my eyes and fight the impending tears before turning very slowly.

  “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person.” I’m not very convincing with the infliction in my voice, but I do my best to hide anything that might give me away.

  “I don’t, and you know it.” She flashes her badge, but it’s so fast I can’t tell who she is. As I look at her face, I find that she looks familiar and it dawns on me that I had seen this very same woman the day before.

  “You were in the store yesterday. How do you know who I am?” I try to keep my voice low and not draw any attention to myself.

  “We’ve met a few times, a long time ago.”

  I quickly glance around to see if anyone is paying attention to us. Thankfully they’re not.

  “I’m sorry I don’t remember, but you need to leave.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, you know I can’t. Let me show you my badge again.” She does and this time I look at the name. Cara Hughes. I rack my brain, digging up long buried memories.

  “Nate’s girlfriend?” She nods as I cover my mouth and feel the first of what’s sure to be many tears falling.

  “You need to come with me, Penny.”

  “I can’t,” I tell her, shaking my head. “I—”

  “Ray is with Claire, they’re watching the contest. You’re going walk with me, side by side, and people will be none the wiser.”

  I nod and whisper, “Okay.” If Ray has Cl … Chloe—it feels so good to say her name in my head, and to hear someone else say it—if Ray has her, she’ll be safe.

  I follow Cara across the street to where her car is parked. She waits until I’m in the passenger seat before she climbs in. I guess she’s waiting to see if I’m going to run or not. I want to, I want to grab Chloe and run far away from here.

  “We aren’t going very far,” she says, starting the car and maneuvering into the road. The last time I saw her was maybe a month or so after the guys deployed. I don’t remember everything correctly, but I think she was still in college and just visiting. It seems like she’s doing pretty well for herself.

  Thinking about those days brings my mind to Ryley. Oh how I’ve missed her.

  “Ryley, how is she? Do you know if she had her baby boy?”

  Cara nods as she turns into the parking lot of a hotel about a half-mile from where the Village Green is.

  “His name is EJ.”

  Evan Junior. Evan has a namesake and he isn’t even around to see him grow up. I wipe away tears that have been steadily falling down my face since I started walking to the car.

  “How much does Ray know about your life?”

  “Nothing. He doesn’t know anything. He thinks my name is Amy Jones and Claire’s … I mean Chloe’s dad left us. He doesn’t know about Tucker or anything else.” I trail off, not wanting to bring anything up that happened after Tucker deployed. I realize for the first time in years I’ve used my daughter’s given name and it feels good. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breath just a little bit.

  “We know about Lawson and the police report you filed. The last sighting of Frannie was in New York City yesterday, so she’s getting close.”

  “How’d you find me?”

  “Your storage unit. Buzz was kind enough to give us your name. You’ve been classified as a missing person by the Feds. I had the case assigned to me because of my relationship with Nate.”

  “Are you guys still together?”

  “We are, but weren’t for a long time. A lot of things have happened to a lot of people. Come on, let’s go inside.”

  I hesitantly get out of the car, still clutching the brown paper bag containing my jar of maple mustard. Cara walks up the stairs and opens the door, allowing me to step in first.

  My jar of mustard hits the floor when I see Ryley stand up from the bed. Her lower lip quivers as her arms open for me. I rush to fall into them, letting years of tears out while she holds me.

  “I thought I’d never see you again.” I’m blubbering, but Ryley doesn’t seem to care. She holds me against her, stroking my back and hair.

  “You should’ve told me.”

  “I couldn’t. I had to run to protect Claire. He was going to take her from me.”

  “Ssh, it’s okay, Penny. Everything is going to be okay.”

  “How can you say that? Frannie is close and I’m going to have to run again. Claire, I mean” I take a deep breath and remind myself to call my daughter Chloe. I can’t get in the habit of saying Claire or I might slip. “Chloe is established here and I’m going to have to take her away from her friends.”

  “That’s not going to happen. None of us will let that happen.”

  “Penny,” Cara says my name to get my attention. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I have to tell you that I have a team of agents arriving very shortly. We want to use you to draw Frannie here so we can arrest her.”

  I shake my head vehemently. “No way. I can’t put Chloe in harm’s way.”

  “She won’t be, I promise,” Cara states. But she can’t protect us. No one can. I have to disappear again. I have to run, change our names, and find another place to hide. I can’t let Frannie find us because if she does, he’ll be right behind her. He’ll win and I’ll never let him have my baby. I don’t care if he’s in jail. He has people on the outside working for him.

  I see the look of determination on their faces and realize that they’re not going to listen to me.

  “Look, I understand that you think I’m missing, but I’m not. You can see me standing here, but my life as Penelope McCoy, it’s over. Cla— Chloe and I, we have a good life and you being here is disrupting it. I need to get back to my family.”

  I bypass Cara and avoid Ryley’s outstretched hand. By tomorrow my daughter and I will be gone and poor Ray will be come home thinking everything is okay until we don’t return from the grocery store. If I could fake my death I would.

  “Penny, please don’t go, I have something to tell you.” Ryley’s voice is full of desperation.

  I shake my head as I turn the doorknob, and find myself eye-to-eye with a chest. I look up slowly and gasp, trying to catch my breath. My hand covers my mouth and tears cloud my vision. I feel hands on me before everything turns black.

  WITH TODAY’S LACK OF security measures in place, it’s a shock that there aren’t more attacks happening on trains and buses. Buying the train ticket was easy. I was even thanked for my service now that I’m dressed in some Army issued fatigues. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever be caught dead walking around in the blueberry Navy working uniform. Besides, I think Frannie would expect that, and as much as I’d love to run into her out on the street, I need to get my ass to Boston.

  As soon as Cara said the words, “I found her,” everything stopped, including myself. Breathing didn’t exist. The lights and sounds of New York City came to a halt and it was if they were no longer functioning. The streets were deserted; the people of Times Square were gone. And so was Cara because my phone died as soon as she said those three words.

  I frantically looked around f
or help, but there wasn’t anyone I could ask. Every store I stopped at that morning didn’t have what I needed and pay phones are non-existent these days. Not that I would’ve been able to call her since her number was stored in my phone and I didn’t have it memorized like she asked me to do. The smart thing would’ve been for me to write her number down just in case. But I didn’t.

  All I knew was that Penny had been found, and by the tone of Cara’s voice, she sounded happy. Which to me means Penny is alive and well. My next move was to get the train. I had to get to Boston to meet my friends.

  I don’t know how long I stood on the street corner—with my mouth hanging open and a dead cell phone in my hand—until my brain could tell my legs to move, and once they did it was like I couldn’t stop.

  The first thing I did was ask directions to the nearest Army Navy store. I still needed some clothes I’d be comfortable in and that was the only place to provide them. When I walked in, I felt at home. A weird sense of calm washed over me. It could’ve been because this wasn’t an ordinary AN store, this was a store run by an arms dealer. The militia runs it. I was with my kind, or at least people who understood my desire to outfit myself. The first thing I found was an Ontario MKIII Navy knife, followed by my boots and the rest of my purchases were gravy: box cutter, Leatherman, zip ties, and a couple of rounds for my gun. I was going to be prepared in the event Frannie is on my train.

  Once I arrived at the train station I was able to calm down. I stood in the corner, waiting for my train to flash on the screen and bolted to the door. The last thing I wanted to do was share a seat with someone—I wanted people to be scared to sit with me. It should be easy. I’m a master at looking pissed off. Hell, I’ve only been doing it continuously for the past six months.

  I rest my head against the window with my duffle bag held tight in my arms. I lucked out and was able to nab a four-seater that no one else wanted to sit in with me. I don’t blame them because I’m not much of a travel companion.

  The scenery flies by and it’s only when we arrive in a town and slow down or come to a stop that you’re actually able to take some of it in. When the train is traveling at seventy plus miles per hour, everything is a blur, much like my life right now.

  I know each stop brings me closer to Penny, but the train is taking forever. I caught the first train to Boston without thinking about the stops it would have to make. The express train is the one I wanted, but instead I’m on the slow one.

  The train comes to a full stop and people move down the aisle to get off. I watch their reflections in the window, not needing to see their face. Most often, they’ll smile or tell me thank you. Thing is, they have no idea what exactly they’re thanking me for. If they had a clue they wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing what kind of monsters are out there lurking, and I’m talking about the Lawson types.

  Unfortunately my luck has run out when an elderly woman sits down across from me. Considering her age I don’t think I have to fear her unless she’s hiding an AR-15 in her bag. If she is, we’re all dead so it wouldn’t matter.

  “You look lost,” she says in a sweet grandma voice. The only thing missing are milk and cookies to soothe my scraped knees.

  “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

  “Just an observation.” She waves her hand, as if to end the conversation that probably didn’t start off the way she wanted.

  “My Richard was in the service.” She digs through her bag, pulling out two long needles and a ball of yawn. I’ve always been fascinated by the knitting skill, but never thought it’d be something to learn. My grandma … well, the woman that raised me, she used to knit all the time and asked me if I wanted to learn. The answer was always no. Thinking back, I should’ve taken her up on her offer because that would’ve been something I could pass on to Claire.

  “What branch?” As much as I’d love to sit in silence, if her husband served, she deserves my attention. She’s put in her time as his wife, the least I can do is listen to her story for the rest of my ride.

  “Navy. We met in New York City on September second, nineteen forty-five.”

  “Were you a nurse?” I give her a true smile with a slight hint of laughter. She already amuses me.

  “You know that day?” she questions.

  “Of course I do, ma’am. I know my history, especially when it has to do with the Navy.”

  “Are you a sailor?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I was at one time and that’s all she needs to know.

  A big smile forms on her face as she clasps her hands. “My Richard loved the Navy. He was a proud member for thirty-five years.”

  “Well I hope to be in it as long as he was. Serving my country is what I was born to do.”

  “What do you do in the Navy? Richard was a cook and on R and R when we met that day.”

  I figure there’s no harm in telling her what I do. “I’m a SEAL, ma’am. Have you heard of us?”

  “Oh yes, Richard was very impressed with the training you young men have to go through. He wished the SEALs were around when he was younger. He always said he would’ve been one.”

  “I have to say, I enjoy it. The training, not so much, but being in the Navy is rewarding.”

  “I never saw myself as a Navy wife, though. How about you, are you married?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I reply without hesitation. “I’m on my way home right now.”

  “Well, she’s a lucky woman.”

  “No, ma’am, I’m the lucky one.”

  Our conversation continues as she tells me about her children and grandchildren. I leave out that I have a daughter because she would expect me to tell her stories and I don’t want to keep lying. Too many lies and one forgets what the truths were to start with. I’d rather her remember me as the sailor who sat across from her and listened to her stories about Richard.

  When the train pulls into my stop, I have a pang of regret that our time has come to an end.

  “Well, ma’am, this is my stop.”

  She looks out the window and sighs. “It was nice meeting you. What’s your name?”

  “McCoy. Tucker McCoy.”

  My name must mean something to her because her face falls and she starts looking at me harder. The smart thing is to get up and make haste, but I sit in front of her.

  “You were one of those boys that the Navy declared dead, but you weren’t.”

  Why, of all the times I meet someone, does it have to be the one person who actually caught the news the day they aired something? The Navy has done a miraculous job keeping a lid on our whereabouts.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Shame on them.”

  I couldn’t agree more and leave her with her last words hanging over us. I pray for her safety when she gets off the train and that she doesn’t tell anyone or she’s liable to meet Richard sooner than she intends.

  As soon as I step off the train and enter the terminal, Nate is waiting for me.

  “Where are Archer and Ryley?” I ask after we shake hands.

  “Evan is in the car. There’s no parking in this damn city. Ryley is already with Cara.”

  “How’d you get here so fast?”

  “Private jet.”

  “Lucky bastard,” I mutter under my breath.

  I think it’s funny that Nate, who I know from being in the service, trainings, and hanging out with his brother, was sent in to get me when it should’ve been Evan.

  “We have about a two and half hour drive to where Cara is so we need to get going.”

  One thing you can always count on when you’re with a SEAL is fast moving feet. Archer’s strides are long and quick as he dodges the people coming toward us. Outside, Evan is standing next to a car with its hood up.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I exclaim, throwing my hands up in the air. I want to get to my wife, and knowing that she’s only a couple of hours away and the car is broken down frustrates the hell out of me. Why? Why me?

/>   “Ready?” Nate hollers to Evan who nods and slams the hood down.

  “What the—”

  “He was parked illegally. He had to do something or he would’ve gotten a ticket.”

  “Wow, I’m impressed.” I climb into the back while Nate gets in the front. I barely have time to buckle my seatbelt before Archer has us weaving in an out of traffic. Again, I find myself staring out the window at the passing cities as they turn into the sprawling land.

  “I can’t imagine breaking down out here,” Evan says while we’re in the middle of nowhere.

  “Where are we heading?” I’m so excited to see Penny that I hadn’t even asked where we’re going.

  “Vermont. The town’s called Pittsfield. Cara says there’s nothing there except a gas station, general store, a few restaurants, and some bed and breakfast places.”

  “And that’s where Penny and Claire are?”

  “Yes.” Nate looks out the window instead of at me, clearly hiding something.

  “What else?”

  He shakes his head. “When we get to the hotel, Cara is going to get Penny and bring her to meet Ryley. We’re going to wait in the next room. Well, you and I are. Evan will go in so she knows you guys are alive.”

  “Cara said I was supposed to meet Rask at the train station, not you. What changed?” I know Evan would never compromise me, or us for that matter, but I’m not sure of Nate. Did he sell his brother and the rest of our team to the highest bidder?

  “Rask went with Ryley and Cara. Nate and I needed to pick up some supplies in Boston and it’s easier to get them when I’m with him.”

  I guess that makes sense, and I’m happy I didn’t come right out and accuse Nate of being a traitor.

  “I want to see my wife.”

  “We know you do, but we have to trust Cara. Things are sensitive and with Frannie close by, she doesn’t want to take any chances. Cara is already on thin ice for calling in favors.”

  “How is Penny? Did she say? And Claire?” I’m starting to grow antsy and feel like Evan isn’t driving fast enough for my liking. Nate stalls, looking out the window without giving me an answer.