Lookin' For Luv

by Carl Weber

  “Don’t you worry. Your car will make it, because I know the Lord would not make ol’ Mamie Brown miss her son on Christmas Day.”

  Kevin was tired. He suppressed a yawn. “Okay Mama. I guess it’s time for me to go, so I can get up for work in the morning. I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby, but now that you mention work, there’s something I want to talk to you about before you go.”

  “What is it, Mama?”

  “There’s another letter here from that Mr. Hirschfield. Ain’t he that sports agent who’s been trying to help you out?”

  Kevin rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mama. He’s the one who got me the tryout with the Charlotte Hornets.”

  “So, baby, why won’t you answer his calls? I’m gettin’ tired of making up excuses for you to all these coaches who call here.”

  “Mama, I don’t need you to lie for me. Why don’t you just tell them I’m not interested? My life is different now. It Basketball is my past.”

  “Now, baby. I know you better than that. You love basketball more than the air we breathe. I know you had your heart set on the NBA, but why you gonna let that stop you? These people from the foreign teams really want you. Why don’t you just go over there and try it?”

  Kevin lost all confidence. “First of all, Mama, who’s to say I’d even make the team if I went? And what would you do if I moved off to Europe?”

  “Oh, baby.” Mama laughed warmly. “Your old mama has already survived your move to the big city. I’ll be just fine. I just want you to do what makes you happy.”

  “Mama, you’re the best. But I’m working on being happy right now. I really think Alicia could be the key.”

  “All right, baby. I love you, and I hope you’re right about what you’re doing. But I’m going to hold on to this letter for you, and I want you to promise me you’ll keep thinking about this. We can talk about it more when you come down here for Christmas.”

  “I’ll think about it, Mama. I love you.”

  “Kevin?”

  “Yes, Mama?”

  “I’m glad you’re not lonely anymore.”

  Kevin put the receiver back on the phone and headed into the kitchen, switching on the light. He stared at the picture of him and his mother hanging on the refrigerator. It was taken at his college graduation as Mama adjusted his cap and gown. Her face was glowing with pride. Kevin’s heart swelled with love as he looked at the photo. He said a quick prayer that someday he would have children of his own so he could give them all the love and support that Mama gave to him. As he went off to bed, Kevin imagined himself with Alicia and Michael as a family.

  11

  KEVIN AND ALICIA

  Kevin and Alicia flirted with each other across the table as they finished their meal. They had been together for three months to the day and had been celebrating with Antoine and Shawna. Shawna had left them at eight-thirty so she wouldn’t be late for work. Antoine tried to play the gentleman by leaving with her, but Alicia knew from the expression on his face that he wasn’t a happy camper.

  “You know, Kevin, Shawna seemed a little weird, and your friend Antoine has a major attitude problem. Why was he so angry at her for having to work?”

  “What do you mean? He didn’t have an attitude.”

  “Oh, please, Kevin. You men never notice these things, do you? It was written all over his face.”

  Finishing the last bite of beef and broccoli, Kevin pushed his plate away. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. He didn’t seem too happy. But look at it from his point of view. Shawna’s always working. They’ve been going together as long as we have, and Antoine’s never spent a Friday or Saturday night with her where she hasn’t rushed off to work.”

  “Damn, that is a bit much. But what’s she supposed to do? Quit her job? It’s not like he’s going to support her.”

  “Nobody’s asking her to quit her job, baby. But Antoine would like her to take a night off every once in a while. I mean, she does have a day job too.”

  “I didn’t know that.” Alicia realized she really hadn’t learned much about Shawna in the two hours they’d spent with the couple. “Now that you mention it, she was awfully quiet when I asked her what she did for a living. What does she do?”

  Kevin laughed. “Well, during the day she works as a manager at a bookstore. But Tyrone’s got me convinced she’s a stripper at night.”

  Alicia’s eyes got a little wider. “A stripper!! I knew there was something strange about that woman. She kept staring at me all through dinner.”

  “She probably thought you were cute. Most strippers go both ways. You’re not going to leave me for her, are you? Damn, baby, that would really be embarrassing.” Kevin couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Baby, let’s get one thing straight. I know I haven’t given you any yet, but I’m strictly dickly. Got it?”

  “Okay, okay. Don’t take things so serious.” Kevin laughed. “Get this. She’s been telling Antoine that she works as a makeup and costume lady at a strip club called the Men’s Club. But she also told him that she’s a virgin.”

  As the waiter approached, Kevin pushed his chair back so he could clear their table, then asked the waiter to bring their check. Alicia was silent until the waiter left the table.

  “I’m tellin’ you, Kevin, there’s something strange about that woman. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m telling you that woman is weird.”

  “You might be right, baby, but all I know is ain’t no virgin working in a strip club.”

  “Shoot. I’m no virgin, and I’d still be too modest to work in a place like that. But you never know. She’s weird enough to be both. Maybe she really is just doing makeup. Besides, don’t all those dancers have to have huge breasts? Shawna was kind of small up top.” Alicia smiled.

  “Only in white strip clubs. You’ve got to remember, brothers are into asses. And Shawna does have a nice enough ass to make some good money,” he teased.

  “What were you doing looking at her ass anyway?” she teased him back.

  “You know, I never said her ass was nicer than yours.” Kevin laughed as he placed some money on the table.

  “Thanks. Maybe I need to go over to the Men’s Club and make a little extra money myself.”

  “If you wanna take off your clothes, do it in the privacy of your own home. I’ll be your biggest and only customer.” They both laughed as they left the restaurant.

  Wrapping their coats tightly around themselves as protection from the cold December air, they walked four blocks from Mr. Wong’s restaurant to Alicia’s apartment. The store-fronts were lit with Christmas decorations, and Christmas music was playing from the bodega next to her building.

  “I love this time of year.” She sighed. “I always thought Christmas was magical, and now that I have Michael, I love it even more. You should see his face when he opens his presents. There is nothing like the joy of a child at Christmas.” She beamed. “I really wish you could be here to see it ”

  Putting his arms around Alicia, he pulled her close. “Now, baby. You know my mama would never forgive me if I didn’t go to church with her on Christmas morning. She told you that herself on the phone last week, didn’t she?”

  “Yes, you’re right. She even tried to get me to come down there with you.” Alicia smiled.

  “So why don’t you?” He loved the idea of spending his holiday with both women.

  “I can’t. You know my whole family comes together at Christmas. Besides, I thought you said we could take Michael down there in February, during your school break.”

  “Okay. But you can’t blame a brother for trying one more time, can you?”

  Alicia gave him a big hug. “Well, at least we have two more days together before you have to leave. You know Michael’s home from school on vacation now.”

  “I know. What would you like to do for the next couple of days?” Kevin planned to spend every possible second with them until he had to drive down to Virginia.

  “Actuall
y I was hoping you could spend a couple of hours with Michael tomorrow. I have some last-minute shopping to finish, and it’s easier without him in the mall.”

  “Sure, baby. What time do you need me?”

  “How about from eleven until three?” Alicia was appreciative that he was so willing to help her out.

  “That’s perfect. That way I can leave your place and go straight to the school to meet the bus with the basketball team.”

  “Where is your team going on December twenty-third? Aren’t you already on vacation?”

  He rubbed his hands together to keep them warm. “We’re done with classes, but the team has one more weekend tournament to go to on Long Island. It’s an annual thing.”

  “Oh, Kevin. They are so lucky to have someone as dedicated as you are.” She took his hands to warm them.

  “Baby, I’m really dedicated to only one thing, and it’s you.” He pulled her close and kissed her lips.

  Alicia returned his passion, opening her mouth to let his tongue explore hers. Because of the intense heat building between them, both had forgotten they were standing in the frigid temperature. Their tongues and hands continued to explore each other, and Alicia’s breathing was getting very heavy. Kevin noticed her excitement and thought the time might be right for them to take the relationship further.

  “Do you think I could come upstairs tonight?” he asked breathlessly.

  Suddenly Alicia’s passion subsided, and she looked very seriously at Kevin.

  “Oh, Kevin. I knew I shouldn’t have let that go so far. Things got out of hand for a second, but I know I’m still not ready to go to bed with you.”

  “What else do I have to do to prove myself to you, Alicia? You know I love you.”

  Kevin’s hands dropped to his sides. His body language expressed his hurt. Alicia felt terribly guilty but kept the promise she made to herself.

  “I’ll know when the time is right, Kevin. I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn’t sleep with another man until I knew I was emotionally ready.”

  “So are you planning on filling me in when that time .comes? Just how long do you think it will be for this thing to be right?”

  Suddenly he realized how angry he had become and knew he better cool out. She had already had enough bad experiences with angry brothers. He didn’t want to blow this. He laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

  “A man can take only so many cold showers, you know”

  “I’m sorry, Kevin.” She looked at him, her eyes filled with sincerity.

  “I know, baby, and you just take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready for me” Kevin took Alicia into his arms for a final embrace before she went upstairs.

  “Alicia?”

  Yes, Kevin.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” Alicia believed him, and it made her feel safe.

  12

  ANTOINE AND KEISHA

  Antoine and Shawna stood arguing in front of the two-family house where she lived. They’d been carrying on since they’d left the restaurant, and Antoine was getting fed up.

  “I’m not going to say this again, Shawna. I want you to quit that fucking job at the Men’s Club.” The frustration showed on Antoine’s face as the rare curse slipped through his lips.

  “Look, Antoine, I’m not quitting my job,” Shawna replied, angry. “And another thing, don’t curse at me. I’m not that uneducated hussy Keisha that follows you around.”

  “I didn’t curse. And why are you bringing her into this anyway?”

  “Yes, you did curse. And I’m bringing her into it ’cause I don’t like her, that’s why. I don’t like any woman who’s trying to take my man. Matter of fact, I think you should move out of that apartment!” Shawna’s voice was getting louder as they spoke.

  “I’m not moving out of my apartment,” Antoine said firmly. “I pay only five hundred dollars a month. Do you know how cheap that apartment is for a two-bedroom?”

  “I really don’t care, Antoine. If I have to quit my job, you’re gonna move!” Porch lights came on as Shawna’s volume increased.

  “Some of us are trying to sleep!” a voice reminded them.

  Shawna turned to see her sixty-five-year-old landlord standing in his doorway.

  “Sorry, Mr. Good,” she apologized sheepishly.

  “I think it’s about time you two took this inside, don’t you?”

  “Antoine, I have to get ready for work. Please don’t be mad at me. I promise I’ll call you during my break.” She tried to kiss him, but he turned his head so her lips met his cheek.

  “I’m not going to be home during your break. I’m going over to Benny’s Bar to have a drink”

  “Isn’t that where Keisha hangs out? Please don’t go over there, Antoine,” she pleaded.

  “Look, you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m just gonna have a drink or two to relax. You never know. Maybe I’ll run into some of the fellas.”

  He could tell she was jealous by the look on her face. Shawna was truly paranoid when it came to Keisha. He had no intention of cheating on her. He just hoped that now she’d understand how he felt when she went to work at the Men’s Club every night.

  The two of them spent a few more minutes trying to smooth things out, until Antoine felt comfortable enough to part. Then he caught a cab home, spending most of the ride brooding over his relationship. He was honestly looking forward to a nice stiff drink. After paying the cabdriver, Antoine walked directly to Benny’s. Once inside, he took off his coat and searched the bar for some familiar faces. Seeing no one he recognized, he strolled over to the bar to order a drink.

  “How you doing, Benny? Can I have a glass of your best brandy?”

  “Sure, Antoine. I haven’t seen you around in a while,” the bartender replied. “Life got you down?” He handed Antoine his drink.

  “Yeah, woman problems, Benny. You ever have a relationship with a woman who’s never around?” Antoine took a sip before he continued. “My girlfriend’s always working, and when she’s not working, she’s sleeping, ’cause she’s too damn tired from work.”

  “I feel for you, brother. What’s your girl do anyway?” Benny handed a drink to another customer, then turned back to Antoine.

  “Well, she actually has two jobs. She works in a bookstore during the day. But at night she works in East Elmhurst. You ever heard of the Men’s Club?”

  “Yeah, I suppose I’ve been there once or twice.” Benny chuckled.

  “Well, she works there at night as a makeup artist.”

  “A makeup artist, huh? Now, ain’t that original!” Benny laughed, turning to another bartender. “Hey, Jake, you ever heard of a makeup artist at the Men’s Club?”

  “Hell no! And I tended bar there for years,” Jake shouted from the other end of the bar. “What they need makeup for? Ain’t nobody looking at their faces.”

  Antoine gave Benny and Jake a fake smile after that crack and walked back to his table. Although he was a little angry about Jake’s comment, he realized he shouldn’t be upset. He’d thought the same thing himself when Shawna first told him she did makeup at the club. In fact, Tyrone had made it a part of his daily comic routine at work. Antoine was reminded daily that nobody seemed to believe the girls at the Men’s Club had their faces done by an expert.

  As he sat at his table, Antoine had a crazy idea. Maybe he should just go find out for himself what she was really doing there. He bit his lip and smirked, imagining her surprise when he walked in. Taking a long swig of his brandy, Antoine envisioned the confrontation they would have.

  But the more he thought about it, the more he decided it really wasn’t such a brilliant idea. His grandmother had always told him, be careful what you look for, ’cause you just might find it. His rational self had returned, and he decided he could wait until the time was right to work things out with Shawna. They had been dating for only a few months. There was always the possibility that she was telling him the truth.
And even if she wasn’t, he hoped that when she was comfortable enough with the relationship she would tell him everything he needed to know. Antoine wanted desperately to believe in the relationship.

  After nursing his brandy and smoking his pipe for about ten more minutes, Antoine still wasn’t feeling relaxed. He stood to walk over to the bar for another drink and was surprised to see Benny standing before him, drink in hand.

  “Thanks, Benny. That’s some service you provide here.”

  “This one’s compliments of the lady at the bar.” Benny pointed in the direction of the bar.

  Antoine didn’t remember seeing any ladies at the bar. Curiously he adjusted his glasses to see through the smoke-filled room. As his eyes began to focus, he saw Keisha. She was wearing a skintight red dress that revealed all of her ample cleavage.

  “Here, Benny, send it back to her,” Antoine told the bartender seriously.

  “The lady wants to know if she can offer you an apology.” Benny refused to take the drink out of Antoine’s hand. “If I were you, Antoine, I’d stop worrying about that chick at the Men’s Club and start thinking of a few ways Big Red over there can apologize. If you know what I mean.” He winked at Antoine.

  “What the hell. I wasn’t going to be able to relax anyway,” he said, gesturing for Keisha to walk over. “Besides, I have a few things I want to say to Ms. Keisha myself.”

  Keisha approached Antoine nervously. She left her usual attitude behind and was genuinely prepared to apologize. Antoine sensed the change in her body language and was confused, to say the least. He was prepared for another confrontation when he invited her over to the table.

  “Hi, Antoine, it’s been a long time since we spoke. I was hoping we could bury the hatchet. I really hate it when you walk away every time I try to talk to you,” she said timidly.

  Antoine figured Keisha was just putting on an act, so he ignored the sweetness in her voice and snapped at her.

  “Yeah, well, I’ve been pretty busy with my new girlfriend, Shawna. Things are working out pretty well. No thanks to you.” He rolled his eyes at her.