Lookin' For Luv

by Carl Weber

  “I’m not mad at him.” She sighed. “I’m really mad at myself for letting my sister talk like that around him. But that’s neither here nor there. How’d it go today?”

  “It went very well until about half an hour ago.”

  “Oh?” she asked, concerned. “What did he do?”

  “He didn’t do anything except hurt my ego.”

  “Kevin, what the hell are you talking about?”

  “I was trying to explain to Michael how much better Muhammad Ali was than Mike Tyson. But your son wouldn’t believe me. He kept saying his friend Theo had Legends of the Boxing Ring and Mike Tyson always beats Muhammad Ali. Well, to be brief, he conned me into buying Legends of the Boxing Ring, and, as your son so eloquently put it, ‘Mike Tyson beat the shit out of Muhammad Ali,’ eleven damn times.”

  “Oh, you poor dear.” Alicia chuckled. “Listen, I’ll be home in about an hour. I’m going to pick up some Chinese. Are you gonna stay for dinner?”

  “Damn, I wish I could. But ...”

  “But!”

  “Baby, I told you I had to go to that basketball tournament.”

  Alicia relaxed. “You’re right, I forgot. Well, what time are you coming back? We should get together after that.”

  “I can’t, baby. I figured that since I would be back late, we wouldn’t be able to see each other. I made plans with the fellas to work out and go to a bar over in Antoine’s neighborhood.”

  “Dammit, Kevin. You’re going to spend the whole Christmas break with them.” She didn’t mean to sound whiny, but she really wanted to see her man.

  “I know, baby, but a promise is a promise.”

  “Okay, then, make me a promise. Promise me that you’ll spend tomorrow evening and New Year’s Eve with me.”

  “No problem,” he answered without hesitation.

  “All right, let me go before this cell phone bill bankrupts me. Don’t let Michael eat any junk food before I get home, okay? Oh, and, Kevin, I love you.”

  “I love you too, honey.” He paused before clearing his voice to continue. “Ah, Alicia, one more thing before you hang up.”

  “What is it, sweetheart?”

  “Your ex, Trevor, called twice.” His voice was flat. The calls had disturbed him, inciting his jealousy, and he hoped there was a valid explanation to allay his fears.

  Alicia nearly dropped the phone. “What the hell did he want?” she barked.

  “I have no idea, baby. He just said he wanted to talk to you.”

  “I hope he’s calling to tell me he has half the money for Michael’s bike. I’m getting tired of him neglecting his son!” Alicia realized she was yelling at Kevin. “I’m sorry, baby, I shouldn’t be yelling. That triflin’ nigga is not your problem. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”

  “Bye,” Kevin said, slamming the phone down. Alicia’s reaction, although not favorable toward Trevor, didn’t do much to relieve his anxiety. He wished he had asked Alicia how Trevor got her number in the first place.

  Michael was looking through a comic book when Kevin walked into his room.

  “You okay, kid?” Kevin asked, concerned.

  “I’m okay,” Michael whined. “I just hate my mom sometimes.”

  “Come on, Michael,” Kevin said in his best fatherly tone. “You don’t mean that. Your mother loves you more than life itself.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then how come she’s gonna give me a beatin’ when she comes home?”

  “Maybe because you deserve it, Michael. You know better than to curse like that.”

  “I said I was sorry. But you watch. She’s still gonna get me.” Michael pouted.

  “Well, that’s what mothers do sometimes to teach their children lessons.”

  “Uncle Kevin, people shouldn’t teach lessons by hitting, right?”

  “I think it depends on the situation. Why? Who told you that?”

  “My mom. She said it right after my dad gave her a beating for coming home late once.”

  Kevin winced at the thought of Alicia being hit. “I understand where you’re coming from, little man. But this is a little different. What your dad did to your mom was abusive.” Kevin hesitated, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. “Look, I promise not to let your mom spank you this time, but you have got to stop cursing. All right?”

  “Okay,” Michael said with a devilish grin. Suddenly Kevin felt as if the boy had manipulated him.

  “Uncle Kevin, are you and Mommy going to get married ?”

  “Right now your mom and I are just very good friends trying to get to know each other.” The question had surprised Kevin. “Why? Would you like it if we got married?”

  “Yeah. You’re pretty cool, and you don’t treat me like a little kid.” Michael smiled.

  “And you think that’s good enough reason for me to marry your mom?”

  “That, and the fact that you’re big enough to protect my mom and me from my dad.” As he said this, goose bumps formed on Michael’s arms.

  “Your dad really scares you, doesn’t he?”

  “Sometimes. What about you, Uncle Kevin? Does he scare you?”

  Michael seemed to be searching for some reassurance. He was at that stage when young boys start imitating the behavior of grown men. He wanted to act grown, but when it came to his father, he was still a scared child.

  “No, he doesn’t scare me, Michael, but if I ever get the chance to have five minutes alone with him, I bet he’d be pretty damn scared of me,” Kevin spat out rather confidently. “Now, enough about your father. Why don’t you give me another chance to beat you in the boxing ring?” Kevin stood up and headed toward the living room.

  “Can we open the ice cream you brought now?” Michael asked.

  “I’m sorry, little man. Your mom said no junk food before she gets home.”

  “Uncle Kevin, are you going to let a girl tell you what to do?”

  Now Michael was testing the male-bonding thing. Kevin couldn’t believe the young boy was doing this. It was obvious he was trying to manipulate Kevin.

  “Look, Mike, don’t try to play games with me, all right? Your mother said no junk food, and that’s final.”

  “My name’s Michael, not Mike,” he huffed. He folded his arms across his chest and stuck out his lower lip in a pout, hoping Kevin would give in. When he didn’t, Michael tried another approach.

  “What if I tell you about Mommy and Daddy having sex last night after you left?” he said suddenly. “Will you give me some ice cream then?”

  “I can’t believe you just said that about your mother.” Kevin shook his head in disbelief. “Maybe you do need that spanking after all. Lying is one thing, but lying about your mother? That’s unforgivable.”

  Michael was frightened by the way the veins in Kevin’s neck popped out as he spoke. In a panic, he jumped up.

  “I’m not lying to you, Kevin! I can prove it to you.”

  Running into his mother’s room, Michael searched through his mother’s dresser drawers. Kevin leaned against the wall and watched, figuring Michael was just trying to find a way to cover his lie. Pulling something out of the dresser, Michael approached Kevin.

  “Here. I told you.” He handed Kevin a small box of opened condoms.

  “Michael, this doesn’t prove a thing. You probably don’t even know what this is used for.” An angry frown spread across Kevin’s face.

  “Yes, I do. My dad told me last night when he baby-sat me. He told me to make sure I use one if I’m gonna have sex. He doesn’t want me to make the same mistake he did.”

  Michael had actually heard those words from Trevor in the past, and recalling them now brought up the same pain. His father thought he was a mistake. The significance of such a statement was lost on Kevin though, who was busy thinking jealous thoughts.

  Damn, so that’s why she didn’t want me to come up last night, he thought, wishing he had insisted more forcefully to be invited up the previous evening. He could feel a pit growing in his stomach as he began to worry
he was being played for a fool by this woman. Still, he couldn’t be sure, so he pumped Michael for more information.

  “This still doesn’t prove they had sex,” he said to Michael, not so confident anymore that Alicia was innocent.

  “Yes, it does. When Dad showed me the box, it had six rubbers in it. When I got up this morning, it was on Mom’s dresser, and there were only four in the box,” Michael said, wishing Kevin would stop looking so mad.

  Kevin’s thoughts and feelings were now written all over his face as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing from the young man. He raced through various possible explanations for the opened condom box, including that the box had been in her dresser for ages. Still, he could not shake the growing suspicion that Alicia was still sleeping with her ex. After all, he did call the apartment two times just that afternoon. For all Kevin knew, Alicia’s anger at Trevor was just a cover-up, and the two were together every night.

  Michael sensed Kevin’s increasing disturbance but in his childish, self-centered way continued his quest for the junk food.

  “Well, Uncle Kevin, you gonna give me some ice cream if I tell you the rest?”

  “Yeah,” Kevin muttered, slumping his shoulders as they walked to the kitchen.

  Kevin watched Michael spoon ice cream into his mouth. He prayed Michael was lying about the whole thing. After a few minutes he couldn’t stand the suspense and pulled the bowl of ice cream away.

  “All right, Michael, I could get in a lot of trouble with your mom for giving you this ice cream. And I’m not convinced you’re telling me the truth, so talk now.”

  Pulling the bowl of ice cream back in front of him, Michael tried to remember what had happened three days before when he spent the night at his aunt Teresa’s house. He planned to use that memory to fabricate a story about his mother and father. For a brief moment he contemplated admitting that he was lying, but he could see by Kevin’s growing agitation that it was too late to back out now without getting in lots of trouble.

  “Well, first Mommy put me to bed,” he said, looking up from his bowl to see if Kevin was paying attention. “Then I could hear them close the bedroom door. At first I thought they were fighting, because Aunt, uh, I mean Mommy, started saying ‘No, No, No! ”’ Michael stuffed his mouth with another spoonful of ice cream, silently praying Kevin had not noticed his slip-up with the names in his story. When Kevin did not question it, Michael continued.

  “Then I heard her yelling ‘Yes! Yes! Don’t stop!’” Michael did his best imitation of a woman’s voice. “I wasn’t sure if they were having sex until I heard the bed start moving. You know like you see on the Playboy Chan—”

  Michael was cut off midsentence by Kevin crushing his empty Pepsi can with his bare hand. Mad and hurt, it took all of Kevin’s pride to hold back the tears from his eyes.

  “Michael, if you’re lying, please tell me the truth now. You had your ice cream and I promise I won’t get mad. But if I find out you lied, I’m gonna beat your butt myself.” He was struggling to keep his temper under control.

  Just then Alicia and her girlfriend walked into the apartment, their arms filled with packages. Scared, Michael picked up his empty bowl, put it into the sink, and ran to his mother. He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her as she put down her packages.

  “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’ll never say a bad word again. Honest,” he whispered in her ear.

  “All right, son, now go get cleaned up for dinner,” she whispered back, nudging him toward the bathroom. He ran out of the room, grateful for the chance to escape the hole he had just dug for himself.

  Alicia was surprised by the strength of Michael’s apology over what she thought had been a minor incident. She meant to question Kevin about it but was distracted by the sight of him sliding into his coat.

  “Where do you think you’re going without giving me a kiss?” she asked, playfully grabbing his collar and puckering her lips.

  “I told you I had to meet the basketball team at the school,” he replied with attitude, avoiding her kiss.

  “Okay, baby,” she said, taking a step back. His tone of voice confused her. “You’re still going to spend Christmas Eve with me, right?”

  “Yeah,” he grumbled, ready to explode. “When was the last time you slept with Trevor?”

  “Kevin! I can’t believe you just asked me that in front of Shannon.” She looked at her friend, embarrassed.

  “I don’t give a shit about Shannon. I want to know when was the last time you had sex with Trevor.” Kevin folded his arms and stared at her angrily.

  “Look, Kevin, I think you need to go to meet the basketball team. We’ll talk about this later.” Alicia opened the door for him so that he could leave. She was not about to discuss this in front of her friend and was so angry that she just wanted Kevin out of her face.

  “You need to think about who you want to be with, Alicia!” Kevin glared at her angrily, then stomped out the door.

  “Damn! What’s with your man?” Alicia’s girlfriend sucked her teeth with attitude as Kevin closed the door behind him.

  “I guess he’s a little mad about Trevor calling. But that’s all right. I’ve got something I guarantee is going to put a smile on that handsome face of his.” She held up a package from Victoria’s Secret, and the two women laughed.

  Outside, Kevin slammed the door to his car and sped off. He couldn’t wait to see Tyrone and Antoine later to clear his head after what he just learned about the woman he loved.

  Kevin met Tyrone and Antoine outside the school when he returned from the basketball game. Since he was a security guard, Tyrone held the keys to the entrance in case of an emergency over the school holiday. He had cleared the use of the weight room with his superiors, who agreed he could use it during his daily check of the school grounds. The three friends decided to take advantage of the opportunity rather than buy a temporary gym membership that none of them except Antoine could truly afford.

  As they walked down the empty halls, the sounds of their footsteps echoed loudly. Occasionally Tyrone or Antoine would try to strike up a conversation, but Kevin was strangely silent. It made both of his friends uncomfortable, but they decided that if he had something on his mind, he would tell them whenever he was ready. They all trusted their friendship enough to give one another that kind of space.

  Inside the weight room Kevin was still silent except for the loud screams he released while struggling with more weights than he typically piled on. He had quite a bit of aggression to release. His friends saw how hard he was pushing himself, but neither commented until a two-hundred-fifty-pound weight crashed just inches in front of Tyrone’s foot.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he screamed at Kevin.

  “Sorry, Ty,” Kevin said with a dazed look. “I really didn’t mean it.”

  “Sorry ain’t good enough, Kev, man. You damn near broke my toe.” Tyrone was serious. “What the hell’s crawled up your ass anyway? That fine-ass girlfriend of yours fucking Wesley Snipes on the side?”

  “You’re not far from the truth.” Kevin glared at him.

  “Oh, shit,” Tyrone exclaimed.

  “Hold on, Tyrone,” Antoine barked sharply as he turned to Kevin. He didn’t want Tyrone to turn this situation into another one of his joke fests. “What’s going on between you and Alicia?”

  “She had sex with her ex last night.” Kevin tried to stop it, but a single tear rolled down his cheek.

  “I find that hard to believe, Kevin. Shawna and I were with you two last night, remember? The two of you looked like something out of a romance novel.” He placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder sympathetically.

  “Dammit! Will you let him tell us what the fuck happened?” Tyrone pushed his way back into the conversation. “Obviously something happened. The man’s got tears in his eyes.”

  Shaking his head as he wiped his eyes, Kevin explained the afternoon’s events. Stunned, his two friends sat on gym mats and listened intently a
s he told them all he knew about Alicia’s affair.

  “Damn, ain’t that a bitch. If I told you once, I told you a thousand times, Kev. Don’t love them hos.” Taking a quick look at Antoine, he smirked as he continued. “If you had listened to me, instead of Mr. I’m-not-having-sex-till-I’m-married over here, and put some pressure on her to give you some ass, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

  “You’re right,” Kevin whispered.

  “I say, never trust a woman who can hold out that long. She has to be getting some from somewhere else.” Tyrone, was on a roll. He fancied himself something of an expert on women and loved to offer his advice.

  “Wait a minute,” Antoine said hopefully. “You said yourself you thought the kid was lying at first. What makes you so sure he wasn’t?”

  “You know, maybe Ty’s right about you being a little naive, Antoine. What kid his age knows about condoms and sex with the kind of detail he does? On top of that, why would he lie? He likes me.” Kevin sat on the weight bench and waited for an answer.

  “I’m naive? I think you’re the one who’s naive, Kevin.” Antoine folded his arms. “This is the nineties. A kid his age could find out anything he wanted to know about sex on television or the Internet. And as far as lying goes, you said he wanted ice cream. Some kids will lie for anything.”

  “You think Michael’s lying, Antoine? Maybe Alicia’s not cheating on me.” The contrasting advice from his two friends was making his head spin, but Kevin was searching for any glimmer of hope.

  “I don’t know if he was lying or not,” Antoine answered. “But I do know that the woman I met last night had the look of someone in love. You need to sit down and talk to her. This whole thing could be one big misunderstanding. You never know. Maybe this kid’s afraid you’re going to replace his father.”

  “You can listen to Dr. Ruth over there all you want.” Tyrone jumped back into the conversation. “But I’m telling you, women have needs just like us. And one of the easiest things to do is to sleep with someone you already did, especially if it was good. But don’t take my word for it How many exes have you slept with over the years?”