Lookin' For Luv

by Carl Weber

  “Sir, would you please leave?” The big guard was barely holding back his partner.

  Kevin paid no attention as he took two steps closer to Alicia.

  “Alicia, honey, we need to talk,” he begged. The entire office turned to look at Alicia as if she were the cause of all the commotion.

  “Kevin, I don’t have anything to say to you.” Her face was flushed and upset as she felt the stares of her coworkers. “How could you embarrass me like this?” She turned and walked back toward her office.

  “Let go of me, Harvey. I’m going to teach him a little respect for our uniform.” The smaller guard pointed his nightstick at Kevin as his partner held him back.

  Kevin snatched the nightstick out of the guard’s hand. He gripped the nightstick hard, looking dead into the eye of the now-terrified guard. Then he threw the nightstick to the ground. A wicked smile came to his face as he savored the fear that had paralyzed the bigoted guard.

  The receptionist sat stunned at her desk. As Kevin stepped onto the elevator, he said to her, “Tell Alicia we need to talk, and that I’ll be back.”

  18

  KEVIN AND DENISE

  It had been five days since the turmoil at Alicia’s office. Kevin, Antoine, and Tyrone were lifting weights in the school gym when two men dressed in cheap suits walked into the gym. Maurice and Miles, head of school security, followed them.

  “Mr. Brown, these two men would like to have a word with you,” the principal said, clearly annoyed.

  “They’re cops, man. Miles would have never come out of his office if they weren’t cops,” Tyrone whispered to Kevin. He had seen men like these in the school before.

  Kevin gave Tyrone a quick nod to show that he understood, though he had no idea what the police would need to speak to him for. As he placed his weights back on the rack, he prayed they didn’t have bad news about Mama or his sisters.

  “How can I help you gentlemen?” Kevin asked, wiping his face with a towel.

  “Mr. Brown, we’re with the police. Maybe we should discuss this in private. It’s a personal matter.” The tall black officer pointed to the door.

  “No, we can talk right here. These guys are like brothers to me. I don’t know what this is about, but I don’t have anything to hide.” He tried to sound confident but was actually quite nervous.

  “Well, suit yourself,” the smaller white cop responded. Reaching into his coat pocket, he handed Kevin a folded document. “Mr. Kevin Brown, you are being served with an order of protection: This order of protection states that you are not to go within five hundred feet of Alicia Meyers or her son, Michael Hill; you are not to go within five hundred feet of her home or place of business, you are not to call, write, or use electronic means to contact her. Do you understand what has just been explained to you?”

  Kevin was in shock. He couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He clenched his jaw to stop himself from exploding in anger. Alicia had actually gone so far as to get an order of protection against him, and the pain was unbearable.

  “He understands, officer. He won’t go by there.” Antoine spoke for him, seeing that his friend was too distraught even to give the officer an answer.

  “It’s very important that he understand this, sir. Otherwise he can be arrested under the stalking laws of New York State,” the black cop warned them.

  “He’s not going to go by there. I’m going to make it my business to make sure he don’t,” Tyrone guaranteed, in disbelief himself.

  Miles led the two officers out of the gym as Antoine handed Kevin a towel to wipe his eyes. Suddenly he became aware that Maurice had not left with the other men.

  “Well, Mr. Brown, I hope you realize that you made a fool not only of yourself, but of the school too.”

  “Look, Maurice, give the kid a break. You don’t even know what the hell’s going on,” Antoine said in defense of his friend.

  “I don’t have to know, Mr. Smith. Just the fact that some woman would take out an order of protection against him makes me think he could be dangerous. I’m going to have Miles keep a closer eye on you, Mr. Brown. A man like you might get out of control around the students.”

  “Wait a minute, Dr. Johnson. If you think I would hurt one of the boys, you’re crazy!” Kevin insisted. “This is all one big misunderstanding, and all I have to do is make one call and straighten this whole thing out. Give me your cell phone, Tyrone”

  “I hope you’re not planning on calling that young lady, Mr. Brown. That is, unless you plan on going to jail.” Maurice shook his head at the young man’s stupidity.

  Kevin rifled through Tyrone’s gym bag, searching for his cell phone. He ignored the disapproving stares of his friends. Tyrone finally moved to stop him.

  “He’s right, Kevin, you’ve got to let her go.”

  “I don’t know if I can, Tyrone. I love her so much, it hurts.”

  Tyrone gave him a sympathetic one-armed hug, and Kevin slumped down on the weight bench.

  “Mr. Brown, I want you to understand something. If the police come by here again looking for you, you’d better start looking for a new job, because I’m going to fire you. I suggest you get a hold of yourself.” Maurice straightened out his suit jacket and walked out of the gym.

  “Kevin, I don’t give a shit how you feel. Don’t you fucking call Alicia.” Antoine jabbed his finger in the air near Kevin’s face.

  “I don’t care what those cops say. I need to talk to her and get this straight!” Kevin knocked over a chair in anger as Antoine shouted at him.

  “Are you fucking listening to me? Don’t fucking call her!”

  Tyrone stared at Antoine in disbelief. It was the first time Antoine had ever gone off. Usually Antoine was the one who remained calm and dignified in every situation. He realized that Antoine must feel very deeply about his friendship with Kevin to let his emotions escalate like this.

  “A’ight, Antoine, I’ll wait till she calls me for now. But I’m telling you, order of protection or not, Alicia’s going to find out how much I love her if I have to lose my job and my freedom to do it.”

  Three weeks later Alicia still had not contacted Kevin. He had tried to be as patient as possible, still holding out hope that she would change her mind and listen to his apology. He waited every evening at home by the telephone, wondering where Alicia was and what she was doing. The order of protection sat on the counter in his kitchen, and each time he walked by it, it served as a reminder of his pain. Every day his emotions ran the gamut from deep sadness to rage.

  On this day Kevin was particularly angry and confused by Alicia’s actions. He had been sitting in his living room for two hours since he came home from work, brooding over the chance meeting he had with Alicia’s sister Teresa. The television was on, but he barely noticed it as he recalled the conversation they had in front of a diner where Kevin had eaten lunch alone.

  Teresa had noticed Kevin as she walked out of the restaurant with one of her girlfriends, talking loudly and laughing. When she saw Kevin, the smile quickly disappeared from her face, and she took a few steps to steer clear of him.

  “Hi, Teresa,” Kevin said, refusing to let her ignore him. He was desperate for any news of Alicia.

  “Oh, hi,” she answered, and kept walking.

  “Wait, please. Just let me talk to you for a minute,” Kevin begged.

  Teresa rolled her eyes and told her girlfriend to wait for her. Kevin thought he heard Teresa say something like “He might get crazy, girl,” but he ignored it, just grateful that she would stop to talk.

  “What do you want? Aren’t you supposed to stay away from Alicia’s family?” Teresa put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side.

  “I don’t want to bother you, Teresa. I just need to know what’s going on with Alicia. I really messed up.”

  “Mmm-hmm. You sure did,” Teresa replied with no mercy.

  “Listen, I know I was wrong about her and Trevor being together. I never should have accused her of
that. I just want to tell her I was wrong, but now I can’t even call her to apologize. Could you just tell her I’m sorry?” The words poured out as Kevin felt some slight sense of relief. This was the closest he had been to actually speaking to Alicia since their fight.

  “Sorry, Kevin. You’re too late.” A strange, wicked grin came across Teresa’s face.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Well, when you accused her of being with Trevor, you must have pushed her back into his arms. You really hurt her, you know. And Trevor was there to soothe her. They’re back together, and I think this time it’s for good.”

  Teresa checked her watch to let Kevin know she was finished talking to him.

  “But how could you let her go back with the man who beat her?”

  “Look, Kevin,. That’s her life, not mine. And if she tells me she’s okay, then I just have to stay out of it. Besides, who are you to talk about someone being violent?” Teresa’s friend approached and told her it was time to go.

  “But ...” Kevin started to protest.

  “But nothing.” Teresa sighed. “She has moved on, Kevin, and it’s time that you do the same. Just accept that you fucked this one up.” With those harsh words Teresa and her friend walked away.

  As he recalled the conversation and the heartless way Teresa had treated him, Kevin was angry with her and with Alicia. Now he was resolved that he would move on with his life.

  She had let Trevor beat the shit out of her for years. But Kevin left a few messages on her answering machine and she had him humiliated with the order of protection. Now, after all that, she was dating Trevor again. He thought she must be crazy. How the hell could she choose Trevor over him?

  He pounded his fists angrily into the arms of the chair. There was nothing he could do to clear up his mistake. He hadn’t felt this helpless since that one lapse in judgment had ruined so many years of hard work to get to the NBA. Back then he had escaped his pain by moving to New York, running away. This time he decided to find another woman to ease his anguish. And in a fit of jealous anger he hoped that news of the other woman would get back to Alicia and hurt her the way he was hurting now.

  Fuck this shit, man! I’m done with her. I should have known better than to fall into her trap in the first place. I bet if I had kicked her ass a few times, she’d be with me right now!

  He grabbed the telephone and punched in the numbers for 1-900-BLACK-LUV, searching through the ads left by women rather than leaving one of his own. He was in a hurry to find a woman, and he needed a specific type. No way was he interested in another one like Alicia, who seemed so afraid of relationships. Kevin wanted a woman who sounded desperately in need of a man, and when he came across an ad left by a woman named Denise, he knew she was the right type. He left a short, no-nonsense message, hoping to get a reply soon so he could run from his past once again.

  Denise listened to three cornball messages left in her 1-900-BLACK-LUV mailbox, erasing each one with a laugh.

  “That guy has got to be kidding! He doesn’t have a chance with a line like that!” she remarked more than once. But she had several more messages to listen to, and she hoped at least one would have some potential. Her wish came true as she heard a smooth baritone voice with a slight southern twang. Instantly she was attentive.

  “Hi, Denise. My name is Kevin. Your message said that you’re interested in athletic, dark-skinned men who love to have fun. Well, I happen to be six foot one with ebony skin. I work out every day, and I’m all about fun. My interests are sports and reggae music. Uh, look. You didn’t really say much about yourself other than you’re five foot eight and a hundred and twenty pounds. If you don’t mind, I’d like to get to know you better. Maybe we can have some fun together. So here’s my number: 555-9876. Call me”

  Quickly memorizing Kevin’s number, Denise began to fantasize. Something about Kevin’s straightforward message attracted her. Most of the other men who left messages sounded like they were trying too hard to impress her, but Kevin’s take-it-or-leave-it attitude was the kind of challenge Denise found very attractive.

  She wished she had a face to place with that sexy voice. In her mind she envisioned every dark-skinned man she had ever seen on MTV or in the movies. She settled on an image that was a cross between Wesley Snipes and Michael Jordan. Unable to wait to talk to this man she had just created in her mind, Denise dialed Kevin’s number.

  Kevin was in the bathroom, shaving, when he heard the phone ring. Since his fight with Alicia he had not shaved, vowing to keep growing a beard until they resolved their differences. Tonight he had given up that hope and was removing the heavy beard. He put his razor on the edge of the sink and ran to answer the phone, his face still covered with shaving cream.

  “Hello?” he answered, a bit breathless.

  Chills ran up her back as she stammered, “Oh, uh, hi. Can I please speak to Kevin?”

  “This is he.” Kevin tried to remember if he had paid his Visa bill, since they were the only people who called during the dinner hour. “Who’s calling, please?”

  “Hi, Kevin, this is Denise from 1-900-BLACK-LUV. You left a message in my box. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

  “No, I’m not doing anything. How are you?” Shaving cream was smearing on the receiver as he shifted it to his other ear. He was amazed to be getting the call so soon, since he’d just left the message twenty minutes before. Either it was a coincidence or this woman checked her messages every half hour.

  “I’m fine. The reason I’m calling is I was wondering if you’d like to go out tomorrow night?”

  “I’d like that.” He sat down in his recliner to get comfortable. “But I was hoping you’d tell me a little about yourself before we go out” This woman was even more desperate than Kevin had expected.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t give you the impression that I didn’t want to talk to you. The truth is, I’m just dying to know what you look like.”

  “Well, not to brag, but I’ve been stopped by people who thought I was Tyson. You know, the model?”

  “People mistake you for Tyson?” She picked up the latest issue of Jet from her coffee table and stared at Tyson Beckworth on the cover. “Oh, my God, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

  “What did you say?” Kevin wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly.

  “Oh, nothing,” she lied. “So, anyway, what do you do for a living?”

  “I’m a teacher. I teach physical education at a high school in Queens,” he answered. “What about you?”

  “I’m a partner in a large malpractice law firm. It’s a family-run business.”

  She always added that last part in case she was talking to a man intimidated by successful women. It usually made them feel better if they could think she got the job only because it was her daddy’s firm. In truth she had a very sharp legal mind, but they could learn that about her later. But that didn’t matter to Kevin. He was only curious why she was so eager to meet a stranger.

  “A lawyer, huh? What makes a high-paid lawyer need to call a date line anyway?” He immediately assumed she must be pitifully ugly.

  “Well, to be honest, I just find it hard to meet good black men. What about you? Why did you call the line?”

  “This is actually not my first time. I met my ex-girlfriend on the line.”

  “By the tone of your voice, I guess you still care for her.”

  “I don’t care for her. I love her. But I also realize it’s time to move on.”

  Denise jumped at the chance to soothe his aching heart. “Would moving on include going with me to tomorrow night’s Knicks game?”

  “It would if the game wasn’t sold out. But this is Shaq and Kobe’s only Madison Square Garden appearance this yet The nosebleed seats are being scalped at five hundred bucks.”

  “My dad has season tickets. It shouldn’t be too hard for me to get them.” Denise silently thanked her father, who was always too busy to attend the games. “So what do
you think? Want to go see Knicks with me?”

  “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” Even if nothing worked out with Denise, Kevin was happy for a distraction for at least one night.

  “Great! Meet me in front of the Garden twenty minutes before the game. I’ll be wearing a white hooded leather jacket and white pants.”

  “That sounds great, Denise,” he said as a blob of shaving cream fell in his lap. “Look, I’ve got to go take care of something, so I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sure, Kevin. Good night.”

  Denise hung up the phone and rushed into her room to decide which shoes to wear with her white outfit. She eagerly anticipated the next evening.

  On his end Kevin hung up and wiped the shaving cream off his leg. He stomped into the bathroom to finish removing the remainder of his beard and hopefully any reminder of his problems with Alicia.

  The following night Denise sat contentedly in the Seventh Avenue Diner, waiting for Kevin to return from the rest room. The two had come to have coffee after the game. As she waited alone, Denise thought about the evening. She had been having minor feelings of regret about lying to her father. He was under the impression she was using the tickets to entertain clients for the law firm. After spending a few hours on her date, Denise had forgotten about her father completely. Kevin had been so polite and charming, he swept her right off her feet. And his looks just completed the package as far as she was concerned. She smiled to herself, amused that this whole phone-date experiment had turned out so well.

  Sliding into his chair, Kevin noticed her smile and gave her one back.

  “Did the waitress come yet?”

  “Yes. I ordered you coffee and a slice of cheesecake. Is that okay?”

  “Thanks.” He had hardly heard what she had told him. He was busy admiring the clothing on a man who had walked into the diner. “Look at that coat he’s wearing. Now, that’s hot.”