Lookin' For Luv

by Carl Weber

  Five minutes later Maurice sat in front of David’s desk as he walked in with the results of the culture test.

  “Well, it’s definitely gonorrhea. But I won’t be able to tell if you have chlamydia until the lab results come back tomorrow.” He handed Maurice a bottle of pills. “Take these. The instructions are on the bottle. And for Pete’s sake, Maurice, please don’t have sex with Sylvia for at least two weeks. I suggest you have an AIDS test before you leave too.”

  “Okay, Dave, I want you to know I really appreciate what you have done for me.”

  Maurice stood. He couldn’t even respond to Dave’s suggestion of an AIDS test. He felt like his whole world was crashing down around him. He just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

  “Sit down, Maurice.” David’s voice was commanding. “You’re not going anywhere until you give me some answers.”

  “What do you mean answers?” Maurice asked haughtily. He wondered who the hell David thought he was all of a sudden.

  “You know what I mean by answers.” David picked up the phone. “I wanna know why you’ve been treating women the way you do all these years. I may be your best friend, but I want some answers, or so help me, Maurice, I will call Sylvia right now and tell her everything I know.”

  Not sure if his friend was serious, Maurice glared silently at his childhood friend. I’ll be damned. I think he really might do it, Maurice thought. He’d really sell me out.

  “Okay, David, I’ll tell you what you wanna know. I guess I owe you that much.”

  Unable to look his friend in the eye, Maurice settled himself in the chair again. There was an incredibly long silence as Maurice stared at the floor, wondering where to begin. He finally looked David in the face and sighed sadly before he began.

  “Do you remember Ms. Diane Simon?”

  “Yeah, she was the French teacher in junior high. She was the finest teacher I’d ever seen,” David replied as an image of the beautiful woman entered his memory. “Wasn’t she arrested for statutory rape a couple of years after we finished junior high?”

  “Yep, that’s her.” Maurice lowered his head again. “Well, Ms. Simon was teaching me more than French when we were in school.”

  “Stop lyin’.” David rolled his eyes, then glanced at the phone, letting Maurice know he wanted the truth.

  “I swear, Dave,” Maurice said humbly. “I was having an affair with Ms. Simon all the way through junior high.” Something about the tone of Maurice’s voice made David believe him. He’d never seen his friend seem so weak and uncertain.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?” David asked, leaning over his desk.

  Maurice put both his hands together and nodded yes.

  “You were having sex with her?”

  “Yes, but it was more than just sex. I was truly in love with her. For two years I spent every possible minute with her. Think about it, those were the only two years I didn’t play organized sports,”

  David laughed. “Because you were busy playing hide the sausage with the hottest teacher in the school.” He couldn’t resist joking, but there was a hint of envy in his voice.

  “She was a wonderful woman, Dave. She taught me more about having fun than anyone I ever met. She’s the only woman I ever loved, and for a time I think she loved me too.”

  Real tears began to roll down Maurice’s face as he continued his story. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, and tried to compose himself. David couldn’t believe his friend was actually crying.

  “Do you remember at the end of eighth grade when my parents said that my grades were so bad they were going to send me to military school?”

  “Yeah, I remember that. I couldn’t believe they were really gonna send you away like that.”

  “Well, neither could Diane. She freaked. She kept ranting and raving about how nobody could separate her from her man. Then one afternoon she tells me to sneak out for what I thought was going to be a quickie. By that time I was grounded, but I found a way to see her.”

  “You always were good at sneaking out the house,” David mused.

  “So when I got to Diane’s place, she pulled me inside the door and said, ‘I can’t lose you. We have to run away together so they can’t separate us.’ ” Maurice got a very faraway look in his eyes, and then the tears started again. “I was so in love with her. I would have run away to the moon if she asked me to.”

  “So you were with her? I thought you ran away because your old man was kicking your ass. How come you never told me you were with Ms. Simon?” That whole period of their youth was starting to make more sense to David as the story unfolded.

  “Come on, Dave, would you have believed me? You called me a liar when I told you I got to second base with Monica Smith. If I had told you I was getting laid by a teacher, you woulda laughed in my face. Hell, I was there, and I’m still having a hard time believing it.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “Thirteen years old and getting laid every day. Sounds like every boy’s dream, huh?”

  “I suppose it does, man.”

  “Well, that dream became a nightmare when I woke up alone three months later in a motel in Gary, Indiana.”

  “Get the fuck outta here! You mean you woke up and she was gone?”

  “Yep. She didn’t even leave me any money to get home.”

  “So she just left you in Indiana, a thousand miles from home?” David was in awe. He handed his friend a box of tissues and waited as his friend cried quietly. Finally Maurice was able to continue.

  “Yeah, believe it or not, she took off with motel manager’s twelve-year-old kid. Can you believe she was doing him too?”

  “Damn, she was a real pedophile, wasn’t she?” David stated.

  Maurice didn’t answer his friend. He just stared at the ceiling. As far as he was concerned, Diane hadn’t done anything wrong other than cheat on him.

  “So what happened after that?”

  “I thought Diane was gonna come back, so I tried to hide out in the motel room. Then I got caught and the police got involved. They called my parents and my pops told them to keep me, but Mom came and got me on the bus”

  “Never could understand your old man’s attitude.”

  “He’s a jerk.”

  “I don’t even know what to say, Maurice.”

  “There’s nothing to say, Dave. After I found out Diane was with that other kid, I decided to live life for one thing, to do to all women what Diane had done to me.”

  “Damn, that’s deep. Now it makes sense, all those hearts you broke in high school. I could never understand why you were so cold.”

  “My heart was frozen after Diane left me. I knew I could never love another woman. I felt nothing but anger toward them all.”

  David felt pity for Maurice and also for his family.

  “But what about Sylvia? You must have loved her if you married her.”

  “That was nothing more than a marriage of convenience. She needed to marry the man who made her pregnant so her family name wouldn’t be tarnished.”

  “I never knew Jasmine was conceived before you were married!”

  Maurice answered with pride as the memory of Diane was replaced with the anger he had come to live with.

  “Shit. I left Sylvia’s ass in a grassy field in Flushing Meadow Park that day I took her virginity. She was supposed to be just like all the other hos, until that fuckup Jonathan Sparks told her where I lived.”

  David’s mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but he was too disgusted to respond. He cared about Sylvia. And Maurice was turning out to be a real Jekyll and Hyde.

  “Sylvia’s daddy offered me a whole bunch of money to marry that girl, so I figured, what the hell? I took the money and went on my merry way. She’s my wife for appearance’s sake, but there is no love there, Dave.”

  David couldn’t take any more and decided to put an end to the sordid story.

  “Look, man. This whole story
has totally blown me away. I’m really worried about you, Maurice. I think you need to see a specialist who can help you deal with all of this.”

  He flipped through his Rolodex and scribbled some information on a sheet of paper, which he handed to Maurice. He couldn’t wait to get this man out of his office.

  “This is the number for Dr. Jerome Stanley. He’s a friend of mine, and a hell of a good shrink. You need to do whatever it takes to stop this behavior before you get yourself killed.”

  He leaned over and spoke into his intercom.

  “Charlene? I want you to talk to Mr. Johnson about making another appointment. He needs to have some further blood work done. He’ll be out to see you in a minute.”

  Sighing loudly, he turned to face his lifelong friend.

  “Maurice, I mean it, man. You need to stop having sex with all these women. And don’t touch your wife until you’ve had that AIDS test.”

  Maurice was back to his usual self and not in the mood for David’s sermon. He faked sincerity to get the man off his back.

  “You’re right, Dave. I need to try to make some changes in my life.”

  The men embraced, and Maurice walked out of the office with no intention of making that appointment for an AIDS test.

  22

  KEVIN AND DENISE

  Kevin sipped his piña colada as he sat admiring the peaceful sunset from the balcony of his hotel room. He was still drunk from the afternoon’s booze cruise and swayed to the sounds of the reggae band floating up from the pool area. This had been a magical vacation for him, and he hated that it would end in two days. It had been exactly what he needed to take his mind off Alicia. He still loved her, but for the first time since they had broken up he realized he could live without her.

  Denise and Kevin had been the perfect vacation partners. Both athletic, they played tennis in the mornings and water sports in the afternoon. They danced to reggae music until the wee hours of the morning. Kevin had really enjoyed Denise’s company and was very happy with her behavior. She had not brought up the issue of relationships once. But as relieved as he was about that, there was still one slight problem that created a difficulty for his conscience. She seemed to have exhibitionist tendencies. Watching her prance around their hotel room naked day after day had caused him to struggle all week. Every time he tried to think of respecting his black sisters, Denise’s bare breasts would tempt him to abandon his principles. It was enough to make even the most righteous brother want some play. If he had to take one more cold shower, he thought he might just run up the white flag and surrender.

  Denise walked into hotel room and quickly removed her bikini. She wondered where Kevin was. When she heard him on the balcony, she made a little noise, hoping he would come into the bedroom. He didn’t respond, so she walked into the bathroom to shower the salt off after her swim.

  Denise had been purposely walking around Kevin nude for five days, and he hadn’t seemed to notice. He even insisted on sleeping on the couch every night, though she had offered many times to share the bed with him. It was as if he were practicing for sainthood or something. Unable to stand it any longer, she resolved to go to Plan B. This time she would hold nothing back. Stepping out of the shower, she slid on a pair of bikini panties and strolled onto the balcony.

  On the balcony Kevin sat in his chair and slurred the words to a Bob Marley song. Denise positioned herself directly in front of him so he could get a full view of her practically naked body. She smiled devilishly when she realized he was still drunk.

  “Hi!” She plopped down on his lap.

  “Hi.” He held her gently so that she wouldn’t fall. He tried to avert his eyes from her bare breasts, but the alcohol was making it difficult for him to control himself.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sure.”

  “When was the last time you had sex?”

  “That’s a good question.” Without realizing he was doing it, he moved his hands low enough to feel the curve of her hips. “I think it was at a fraternity party in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, while I was trying out for the Hornets.”

  “You were in a fraternity?”

  “Yeah, I’m an Omega, a Q-dog, as we like to call ourselves.”

  He proudly displayed the horseshoe on his right arm. Denise stared at the symbol. Whatever it was, she thought it marred his otherwise perfect body. She reached out to touch it.

  “What is that, a tattoo?”

  “No, it’s a brand.”

  “A brand! What the hell do you have a brand for? You take this fraternity shit pretty seriously, don’t you?” She jerked her hand away.

  “Well, yeah, I do take it pretty seriously. You would be serious about it, too, if you pledged for six weeks.”

  “Six weeks! I thought white frats were stupid pledging two weeks. Why the hell would you let someone do that to you?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it, except that when you’re pledging, they break you down to build you up.”

  “Come on, Kevin, that’s ridiculous. Are you trying to tell me that getting the shit beat out of you made you a better person?”

  “Look, Denise, I’m not asking you to believe me or understand me. All I can tell you is I started freshman year a very insecure young man. But after I pledged Omega, I was confident and ready to take on the world.”

  “If you’re so confident, why haven’t you had sex since college?” she asked, not wanting him to go on a nostalgia trip back to his college days. “Are you some kind of born-again Christian who’s saving himself till marriage?”

  “Trust me, I believe in God, but he’s not stopping me from getting some.” He shifted Denise so she wouldn’t notice his growing manhood. “I’m probably the horniest guy you’ve ever met. But after I was cut by the Hornets, I went into a depression and didn’t want sex.”

  “I didn’t think it was possible for a man to not want sex.”

  “Oh, it’s possible all right. I had no interest in women until Alicia and I got together.” Kevin was enjoying the way she was squirming on his lap.

  “So why didn’t you have sex with her?”

  “Alicia had just gone through a rough time with her child’s father before we met. So she wanted to get to know me better before we made love.”

  “Wow, that must have been pretty frustrating.” She wiggled her buttocks against his manhood.

  “Oh, yeah! Every time we kissed I had to go home and take a cold shower.”

  “I don’t get it, Kevin. Why didn’t you find yourself an F.B.?”

  “EB.? What in the world is an EB.?”

  “An F.B. is a fuck buddy. Somebody who expects no emotional ties but gives you great sex. You know, someone you can call anytime you’re horny, but they don’t get offended when you don’t call for a while. Or maybe even someone who’s married and lives out of town, but when you see each other, you can’t resist sneaking off for a quickie.” As she spoke, Denise squirmed some more on Kevin’s lap to make sure he kept his erection.

  “So that’s what you call it! Yeah, I used to have a... what do you call it? An F.B., when I was in Virginia. Crystal was one hell of a woman. She would do anything if she thought it would get me off.”

  “So what happened to her? She’s not still around, is she?”

  “She dropped out of school with some light-skinned guy with a receding hairline. I haven’t seen her in over a year.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. A man like you should have a way of releasing all that pent-up anxiety and tension.” She leaned forward so that both of her large breasts jiggled in his face. “You know, Kevin, it’s too bad you’re not attracted to white women, ’cause I would make one hell of an FB.”

  He stared at her and smirked. In his alcoholic haze he had finally realized where the conversation was headed.

  “Listen, Denise, stop beating around the bush. What are you trying to say?”

  Denise sighed. Do I really need to spell it out for him?

  �
�I would love to be your F.B. You wouldn’t have to worry about taking me out, so technically you wouldn’t be in an interracial relationship. And I’d make myself available to you at all hours of the night except when I’m on an important case.”

  “I don’t know, Denise...”

  “Look. Just try it until the end of our vacation.” She bent over and kissed him.

  “I’d just be using you for sex. That’s not right.”

  He couldn’t help but think about how nice it would be to be intimate with her right there on the balcony with the setting sun behind them. He had always heard that white women were willing to do anything to please their men, and just then his defenses were so weak that he was tempted to test the theory. The buildup of a week of temptation and the piña coladas were clouding his better judgment.

  Denise sensed him weakening. She leaned in closer to him, pressing her breasts against his chest as she whispered in his ear.

  “We would be using each other, Kevin. The truth is, you’re not half as horny as I am.”

  She lowered her head and rested it on his warm chest. Kevin had to admit it felt good holding Denise close, and it had been so long since he’d been with a woman physically. The only thing really holding him back was his love for Alicia and the thought that somehow they might reconcile.

  I can’t live like this, he rationalized to himself, maybe sleeping with Denise is the only way my feelings for Alicia are gonna go away.

  “Well, what do you think? Are we going to let this night go to waste, or are you going to carry me into the bedroom and show me how you make love?”

  He didn’t waste a second lifting her into his arms and carrying her to the bedroom.

  Two hours later Kevin sat at the end of the bed. Perspiration slid down his shaved head onto his broad shoulders as he watched Denise fan herself, gasping for air. No longer drunk, he was fully aware that she had manipulated him into having sex with her. But he wasn’t upset with her. He was grateful. She had reminded him how wonderful sex was, and as a reward he sent multiple waves of pleasure throughout her whole body.