Yesterday, Today, and Forever

by Maria Von Trapp

  When we talked these things over — not only in one evening but during weeks and months and ever since then, now and again — there were always two effects noticeable in the soul: first, a great consolation; and second, a greater awareness of the fact that what we are pondering about now, we are going to meet one day. There is nothing really certain in our life — except death. This is the only thing I can really be sure of. I will die some day. And how will that be?

  I am most grateful now for a personal experience of my own of some years ago: I almost died. I had been very sick, and now the end — as the doctor thought — had come. One understands that time is running short, and only in time can we do anything for Him, so every moment is precious to express one’s love and one’s complete resignation to the will of the Father.

  People don’t realize how cruel they are in their wrongly understood “consideration” when they keep the priest away as long as possible from their beloved sick in order “not to excite them.” They don’t know that they deprive their beloved ones of the greatest consolation. “Is any among you sick?” writes James the Apostle. “Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven” (James 5:14–15).

  I was alone in the hospital in Vienna, my family hundreds of miles away sailing in the Adria. As I lay there with eyes closed, waiting for death, I heard the doctor say to the nurse that it wouldn’t make any sense to try to contact the family. It was definitely too late for them to reach me. Although the doctor talked in a whisper, I could hear him very clearly. All my senses seemed to merge and concentrate into the one sense of hearing. I noticed that while I was opening my eyes wide, I could see nothing, although it was ten o’clock in the morning. Sight was gone. I heard the rustle of the sheets as the nurse removed them from the foot of my bed, and I heard her hand gliding over my feet and her voice when she said, “Her feet are already cold,” but I couldn’t feel it. Touch was gone.

  I heard the doctor say he would give a camphor injection, and I heard the click of the needle; and although camphor has such a strong odor, I didn’t smell it. That was gone.

  “Am I dying?” I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. And then hearing also stopped, and there was a silence more intense than any silence I can remember. The body might have been helpless, but the soul was wide awake and in full possession of its faculties. Undisturbed by the outside, memory was keener than ever before. And in this anguish of a last agony, the soul passed once more through it past life, seeing everything so much more clearly. Although nothing is to be seen, the soul senses very sharply the presence of an evil power which wants to influence it to give up: the sins are too many and too horrible to allow any hope. But it also senses another spiritual power present. It may be the guardian angel, soothing the soul, reminding it, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isa. 1:18), reminding the soul of the bottomless mercy and love of the Heavenly Father whom it is to meet very soon now.

  And then? Well, I did not die. But for the rest of my life I shall be grateful for those most precious moments. The nurse told me afterward that for a little while they thought I was already dead.

  Afterward, I found out that this seems to be a general occurrence and not just my private experience. They say the senses die slowly, one by one. Therefore, we should take great care what is said and done in the presence of the dying. While they are fighting their last decisive battle, it would mean such a help if they could hear us talk to them about the mercy of God, about having trust and confidence. One day we shall have to take that same step, too. This might be the best preparation. And when everything is over and one of our beloved has died, we should remember the words of the Revelation of John: “I heard a voice from heaven saying, ‘Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord henceforth.’ ‘Blessed indeed,’ says the Spirit, ‘that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!’”(Rev. 14:13).

  Maria with Johannes at the new lodge. (Photo: Yankee Images)

  Chapter 22

  The Judgment

  And just as it is appointed for men to die once, and after that comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27), writes Paul to the Hebrews.

  The Judgment! What do we know about it? We know that we shall face two different judgments, one immediately after death, the particular judgment, and one at the end of time, together with all mankind, the general judgment.

  “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). At the very moment after our death we see ourselves exactly as we are. If during the last moments while we were still breathing, our life has passed by in review, then after death our whole life is seen at once as in a flash, and it is seen sub specie aeternitatis — “as it will be seen for all eternity.” Happenings and things which may have been of great value to us while we were alive may dwindle into nothingness, and what we had thought of as little trifles may take on giant significance. At this very moment we shall perceive the justice of our future. The damned will be completely convinced that hell is the only place for them, and saints will want to fly to God like a particle of iron to a strong magnet.

  At this decisive moment we shall not only be judged, we shall also meet our judge. The righteous ones will meet Him right away face to face. The damned will also recognize Him, and at the same instant they will want to flee from Him in terror. Who will “the One” be: the Triune God, or Christ?

  Let us look at what Paul has to say:

  We would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the archangel’s call, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first; then we who are alive, who are left, shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words (1 Thess. 4:13–18).

  About the Last Judgment we are quite informed by our Lord Jesus Christ Himself.

  When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. Then the King will say to those at his right hand, “Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?” And the King will answer the, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.” Then he will say to those at his left hand, “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.” Then they also will answer, “Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?” Then he will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.�
�� And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life (Matt. 25:31–46).

  “Why must we be judged again if we are judged immediately after our death?” asked Johannes.

  The answer is that on the last day we shall rise from the dead and the Last Judgment will be after the resurrection of the body. Body and soul will be reunited, and we shall be judged as full men. After the ascension of our Lord, the angel said to the Apostles, “This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11). “And they will see the Son of man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory” (Matt. 24:30) to judge “the living and the dead” (Acts 10:42).

  All of mankind, from Adam and Eve to the very last one, shall be assembled, and the hearts of men shall lie bare for all to see. Tradition says that the Last Judgment will be on earth on the very scene of our Lord’s greatest humiliation, between the Garden of Olives and Calvary. From the Scriptures we know that all the angels, the good ones and the evil ones, will be present. “The angels that did not keep their own position but left their proper dwelling have been kept by him in eternal chains in the nether gloom until the judgment of the great day” (Jude 1:6). All of God’s intelligent creation will be there. Christ will sit on His throne, and His Apostles will also sit on 12 thrones to judge.

  Then I saw a great white throne and him who sat upon it; from his presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Also another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, by what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead in them, and all were judged by what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire; and if any one’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

  Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband; and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 20:11–21:4).

  Chapter 23

  “Begone, Satan!”

  The best preparation for a discussion of hell is a meditation on heaven. Hell is the complete absence, and also forever and ever, of everything heaven is. Our Lord said, “I am gentle and lowly in heart” (Matt. 11:29), and “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). This gentle Lord — after whom the multitudes were flocking because of His endless mercy and kindness — mentions hell 37 times in the Gospels. John the Evangelist says at the end of his gospel that if he were to tell all he remembers, the world could not contain all the books. That gives us the right to take what is written down as only a kind of “table of contents,” and multiply it to our hearts’ content. Therefore, He may have talked very much more often about this most serious subject, the place “where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched” (Mark 9:48) and where “men will weep and gnash their teeth” (Matt.8:12).

  Hell is a mystery. It is the answer to the mysterium iniquitatis, whereby man, with an act of his free will in cool consideration, chooses to do without God. To this, the only logical consequence is hell. Time and again one hears people object to the fact of eternal hell as being unworthy of the kind of Heavenly Father who could not possibly torture His children in this way forever. This is merely sentimental, and only shows that these people have not yet comprehended what it means that we are created with a free will. In complete freedom, we choose hell. We are not pushed into it.

  It has been said of heaven that it has not “entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Cor. 2:9; also see Isa. 64:4). We have no idea of the wonders God has in store for us. The same thing could be said of hell. It has not entered into human hearts, what is prepared for those who hate Him. Only once did our Lord lift the veil a little bit when He told the story of Lazarus and the rich man (Luke 16:20–31). This rich man was not a criminal in our sense. He was not a murderer or a thief. He didn’t do anything especially wrong worth mentioning. But he didn’t have charity. Lazarus, at his doorstep, was starving, and he didn’t help him. He falls under the following condemnation: “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels…. Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me” (Matt. 25:41–45).

  What a terrific warning. One can go to hell not only for what one has done, but also for what one has not done. The next thing we learn is that the rich man can look over into paradise, where Lazarus dwells in Abraham’s bosom. How amazing that the damned can perceive the blessed with the unending reproach to themselves: “There I could be now, too.” Then the rich man tried to make connections and was told, “Between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.” When the rich man pleaded that Lazarus should be allowed to bring a message to his rich brethren, he was told, “They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them” (Luke 16:19–29). Right there we meet this mysterium iniquitatis again: One day our Lord will rise from the dead, and so many throughout the centuries will have chosen not to believe.

  Hell was started before the creation of man with that group of angels who did not want to obey. In their infernal hatred and jealousy, they envy every human soul the joys of heaven, which they have voluntarily forsaken. Therefore, they are our archenemies. “Be sober, be watchful,” says Peter. “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8). In ancient and medieval times, Satan and hell were realities. Everybody knew about them, talked about them, and watched against them. More and more, however, Satan and his evil spirits have succeeded in our “age of enlightenment” in vanishing into a realm of myths. What grownup, or as far as that goes, what high school student believes in a personal devil in our days? This incognito has become his strongest weapon. Behind this spiritual smoke screen he is doing untold harm, and he gets away with it unnoticed.

  Our Lord himself, when He allowed Satan to tempt Him, gave us an example of how to deal with our greatest enemy and remain victorious: “Begone, Satan!” (Matt. 4:10).

  Chapter 24

  “No Eye Has Seen”

  What began with the harmless question of a little boy, “Can Martina see us now?” became a never ending pondering of the whole family on life after death. Our initial questions were answered. Yes, Martina can see us if the rich man could see Lazarus. She does remember us and her life among us — if the rich man remembered his brothers and their way of living.

  As God is omnipresent — everywhere — and the souls of the blessed are in Him, isn’t it very likely that they surround their beloved ones on earth, loving them more than ever before? That is why the funeral service of the church is so consoling and uplifting: “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1 Cor. 15:55; KJV).

  Also we read, “Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” (Matt. 25:34). These will be the words addressed on the last day to those who will enjoy the beatific vision from then on, forever and ever. The kingdom of Heaven! That was one of our Lord’s favorite topics, and He tried so hard to make us understand what it is like. One day, God willing, we shall find out for ourselves. Meanwhile, we have to believe Paul, who says, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conce
ived, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9).

  Even if we are warned that it hasn’t entered any human heart, we can always begin to try to imagine it. We shall be united with the One “whom our soul loves,” and this union will be more intense and more tender than any union between the most loving couple here on earth. Many times we have found out that we cannot love what we do not know. We shall know God as He is. Therefore, we shall love Him to an extent inconceivable to us now. We shall be at rest. We shall be happy. Oh — for the poverty of words! We shall be together with the man of Nazareth, who will recognize us as His disciples if we now patiently bear our daily cross.

  “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28), we shall keep on repeating. “Rabboni! I love thee!” If in Galilee five thousand people could follow Him into the desert forgetting time and hunger because they were so fascinated by His personality, what will be in store for us when we shall see Him in His risen glory, the fairest of men, the best of friends, the most humble of all masters, He the changeless one!

  We shall be united also with His mother and all His friends in a most intimate friendship. We shall be able to converse with Peter, John, Moses, and other greats of Christianity. We shall find those millions and millions of saints, each mirroring the eternal God in another way. Then there will be the myriad of angels, and our own guardian angel!

  And all our friends and relatives, husbands, children, and wives will all be together — together in God! We shall remain the individuals we have been here on earth, but the possibilities which were created into us shall now find fulfillment. And nothing will any more disturb our complete oneness with God. In Him we shall know all other things. In Him we shall meet His other children. Nothing will ever draw our attention away from Him. And all this, forever and ever. “With the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Pet. 3:8).