In Pursuit of Miriam

by Helen A. Grant

  He smiled as he remembered how animated she had become when admonishing him about his lack of interest in the opera. He could not remember their conversation but recalled that even though the second act had begun before they reached the top of the staircase, to him it had seemed a very short time. The farther up the stairs they went, the more she had leaned against him, her body fitting perfectly against his; it was as if she had become a part of him. He had felt an almost physical loss as she moved away from him at the top of the stairs.

  When he tried now to analyse his feelings for her, the nearest he could find was protective. He was pleased to have had an encounter with her that had not resulted in his inadvertently insulting or upsetting her in some way.

  He next brought to mind the previous evening. Robert had propelled him into her company in his eagerness to spend time with Lady Lucy Spencer, who turned out to be a best friend of Miss Knightly. He had not found it unpleasurable remaining with her when Robert and Lucy left to dance; he even found the silence while they were watching the dancing comfortable. In fact, had Robert and Lucy not returned after the dance, he would probably have remained with Miriam longer. She did not seem to feel sorry for herself and appeared to enjoy listening to the music and watching the dancing, but he had found himself thinking how much he would have disliked not being able to join in.

  Thinking back, he realized that this may have been what prompted him to ask her to dance the waltz with him. He had expected her to refuse, and in hindsight, the way he had asked her to dance was not the most gallant. She did, however, eventually accept, although he could see in her face that she was uncertain as to whether she should; even after accepting she tried to use her boots as an excuse to withdraw her acceptance.

  Even now he could not fathom the reason he had been so persistent with her. There were many young ladies in the room who would have gladly danced with him; perhaps subconsciously he had wanted to see her having a good time instead of only watching others.

  He could feel that she was nervous when he had first put his arm around her waist and she barely touched his shoulder with her own hand. He was not unfamiliar with the dance and guided her firmly through the first few steps. She eventually began to relax and she had smiled up at him with a look of pure pleasure. She may not have danced in public before, but he could tell she knew the steps. He’d found that if he adjusted his stride, the unevenness of her gait was less noticeable.

  Having felt the exact moment when her left leg had given way, he had instinctively gathered her closer to him to stop her falling. She had been pressed tightly against him and every muscle in his body from his chest to his thighs could feel the heat from her body against his. His body reacted as any male body would and he had felt himself hardening against her. He had glanced down at her and fortunately it seemed she was unaware of his predicament and so he smiled at her as she looked up at him.

  He should have taken her back to her seat when she had first asked, but he had been enjoying the dance, as had she, until her leg let her down. And so he had persuaded her to continue. Looking back, she had not taken much persuading.

  He remembered the moment when he had looked down and she was resting her head just below his shoulder; her eyes were closed and she appeared to have completely given herself up to the dancing. He took most of her weight, which as she was slender, was no hardship for him and they had carried on.

  When the music ended he had known that if he stepped away from her she would most likely lose her balance, so he kept a firm hold of her arm as he escorted her back to her seat. One look at the other people in the room made him realize, somewhat belatedly, that their dancing had been most inappropriate—but it had been too late at that point to do anything about it.

  Chuckling to himself, he remembered Mrs. Bright’s conversation with Robert after all the guests had left. She had told her son in no uncertain terms that if she ever saw him dancing in such an intimate way with a young lady, she would disown him. Vincent was aware that this was a way of actually rebuking him, since she knew it was not her place to do so.

  It was only now that he gave thought to how Miss Knightly’s reputation might suffer from having waltzed with him so intimately. He knew, because her Aunt Beatrice had talked of little else, that it was hoped Sir Thomas would declare his intentions towards her in the very near future. Perhaps their dance would affect this.

  He resumed pacing the room as he tried to make sense of all that had happened. Miss Knightly surely could not want to marry Sir Thomas; he was old enough to be her father and rather dissipated in appearance. The thought of him touching Miss Knightly and holding her as he himself had done filled him with disgust. Surely if Sir Thomas withdrew his attentions this would be a good thing for Miriam.

  As he continued to pace, Vincent wondered, if Sir Thomas did withdraw his attentions, was Miss Knightly likely to attract another suitor who would overlook her disability? He now became concerned that he may have done her a great disservice even though his motive for dancing with her had been well intentioned.

  Only now did Vincent fully acknowledge what Mrs. Bright had been trying to tell him—that he had compromised Miss Knightly’s reputation. The gentlemanly thing to do was to make it known he had serious intentions towards her. Aghast, he realized the thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

  Had he dismissed her as a possible candidate for a wife prematurely because of her physical disability? The more he came to consider her, the more he thought that maybe Miss Miriam Knightly could be the solution to his problems. At the same time he could save her from the fate of becoming Sir Thomas’s wife. If Miriam consented to marrying him, he could inherit the family fortune, she could live a life of comfort as Countess of Chantry at Maudley Castle, and he would have the funds to return to London and the pleasurable life he had there.

  He thought about the practicalities of this. As there was no affection or understanding between them, perhaps they could have a marriage of convenience, which, although difficult, could be annulled when he reached twenty-five and they could both go their separate ways. The more he thought about this idea, the better he liked it, and he smiled to himself, hoping that he had found a way to solve his problems.

  He would talk to Miss Knightly as soon as possible, and if she agreed—and why should she not? —He would get a special licence and they could be married without delay. Surely she would be delighted at the thought of becoming the Countess of Chantry and running her own household. She would have a life of luxury and he would not interfere with her life nor she with his. She would suit him very well; she would not want to be in London at dances and social occasions, and when he did have to spend time with her she was not disagreeable and she did not seem to lack intelligence.

  When he saw Robert later that day, his friend questioned why he had danced in such a fashion with Miss Knightly the previous evening.

  “Why on earth did you do that? It is most unlike you to act without propriety in any situation,” Robert said gravely.

  “I honestly don’t know what came over me, only that I thought I was bringing some enjoyment to Miss Knightly’s life. And in truth, it felt good at the time,” Vincent replied honestly.

  “I am sure it did feel good!” Robert exclaimed. “I think half of the ladies in the room hoped that you would dance with them in the same manner and found themselves most disappointed when you did not.”

  “I held her so close only because her legs were weak and she was in danger of collapse,” Vincent explained, and then he admitted with a grin, “I did not realize how good it would feel dancing so close to her and that is why I continued with the dance when I knew I should have escorted her back to her seat. The fault is all mine, and I am hoping that my plans will make the situation tolerable for both parties.”

  Robert’s eyebrows shot upward. “Your plans? Do tell.”

  Vincent was happy to tell Robert about his intention to ask Miss Knightly to enter into a marriage of convenience with him. At first Robe
rt was speechless, but then said he could see some sense in the proposal; he certainly agreed that it would be awful to see Miriam married to Sir Thomas. He also said that if Miss Knightly was even half as delightful as her friend Lucy Spencer, then Vincent would have made a good choice.

  “I know that she is pretty and not lacking in intelligence,” explained Vincent, “but with her disability I think she is unlikely to attract any other suitors. Especially after last night. That is why I think she may be agreeable to my proposal.”

  “You may be right. I know that she is to visit Lucy on Saturday afternoon; if we call on them at that time you may have the opportunity to put your proposal to Miss Knightly.”

  They agreed to this and the more Vincent thought about the arrangement he was proposing, the better he liked it. He could not see any obstacle in his way.

  Chapter Eight

  The Proposal

  Just after lunch on the following Saturday, Vincent and Robert set out to pay a visit to Lady Lucy Spencer, knowing that Miriam Knightly would also be there. Vincent had dressed in his finest jacket and tightest breeches and boots, hoping to make a good impression; it was, after all, the first time he had ever made a proposal of marriage.

  On arrival, the gentlemen were shown into the drawing room, where Lucy and Miriam were sitting with Lucy’s mother and sister. When Robert entered the room, Lucy’s mother and sister withdrew to the window seat to allow the pair some privacy. When Vincent saw Miriam rise to do the same, he put out his hand and drew her onto the settee beside him.

  “I have a very serious proposal to put before you, Miss Knightly.” He spoke quietly so as not to be overheard, and went on to outline his proposal of a marriage of convenience, telling her honestly of his situation and how his fortunes depended on this. When he had finished she did not speak. He therefore clarified, “I need a wife in order to inherit my fortune and I was hoping that maybe you would find me more preferable as a husband than Sir Thomas. I thought that my proposal may be mutually beneficial.”

  Miriam looked into his face as if expecting some enlightenment, so he continued, “You would be Countess of Chantry and be well cared for throughout the rest of your life. If the arrangement did not suit either of us, we could live in separate establishments, you in the county and I in London. Failing that, in three years’ time, when I turn twenty-five, as long as the marriage is not consummated we could ask for an annulment. In that circumstance I would ensure that it would be me and not you who would have to endure any scandal. It would, after all, be my impotency that was questioned.” Miriam still remained silent and he could tell that she was trying to make sense of what he was saying. He did not press her further but sat quietly and gave her time.

  Eventually Miriam spoke. “I am sorry to disappoint you, Lord Chantry. As you are aware I am lame and I have for many years known that I would not easily find love and marriage in the same way that I hope for my friends. However, it is expected that I should conform to society’s norms and find a husband, but should I not be successful in this quest, I am in the fortunate position of having an adequate private income to be able to set up my own household and therefore need not rely on a proposal of marriage.”

  Concerned that his motives for the proposal might lie elsewhere, she sought to relieve him of any obligation to her. “I understand that you may feel compromised by having danced inappropriately with me at Mrs. Bright’s party, but please do not feel beholden to me in any way; my physical limitations damage my prospects of marriage far more than one dance with you will do. I am sincerely flattered by your proposal and it confirms my belief that you are a most proper gentleman, but I cannot accept. I sincerely wish you every success in finding a suitable bride and I am sure that with your looks and position this will not prove a hard task for you.” She smiled at him to soften her words of rejection, which must surely have hurt his pride.

  For a moment Vincent was nonplussed. Then he rose to his feet, bowed stiffly and moved away from her. He had never considered that a woman might choose not to marry at all, and because of this he had been over-confident of achieving his aim. Miriam had certainly let him know otherwise in her usual polite but firm manner, he thought bitterly. He indicated to Robert his intention to leave and vacated the drawing room.

  Miriam did not know whether to laugh or cry. From having the expectation that she would never receive any proposal of marriage to receiving two in the same day was astonishing. If someone had told her this would happen she would not have believed them. What she found even more ironic was that she had turned them both down.

  Sir Thomas had called at the house at around midday, thankfully without his daughter, and had asked for a private audience with her. He had then proposed marriage, pointing out all the advantages. He was in total disbelief when she had politely but firmly turned him down. He then told her quite bluntly that she should be grateful to have a proposal, as most men would not even consider her. She told him that she knew this, but nevertheless could not accept his offer. He gave no consideration to her feelings, telling her that she would come to regret her decision in the years to come. He then turned and stalked out of the room.

  Aunt Beatrice had been absolutely furious when Miriam told her she had turned down Sir Thomas’s offer. Miriam was glad that she had already arranged to visit Lucy that afternoon, for the visit would get her away from the house and her aunt. She needed to talk to Lucy and had not known that Robert and Lord Chantry would be there.

  She had been surprised and completely shocked at Lord Chantry’s proposal. She had known from Lucy of his intentions to find a wife, but had never for one moment considered that he might ask her. She had deduced almost at once that he had felt obliged to offer for her following their impropriety when dancing the waltz at the Brights’ social gathering. Miriam thought that he must have been extremely grateful when she had refused him. To his credit he had not shown his relief. In fact, he had seemed a little upset. But that was absurd. Why would he be upset at her refusal? Perhaps that was just a bit of delusion on her part.

  When both gentlemen had departed, she told Lucy what had passed between herself and Lord Chantry. Lucy said that Robert had told her of the earl’s intentions and asked Miriam what her answer had been.

  “Of course I turned him down. He thought he had compromised me in some way and that is why he proposed, despite his excuse about wanting to come into his fortune. I could not allow him to do that. He is young and will have many opportunities to meet someone to love and to marry,” explained Miriam. Only not me. Never me.

  “But, Miriam,” Lucy exclaimed, “from what Robert told me it was Lord Chantry’s need to marry to inherit his fortune that prompted his proposal. He also thought that by choosing you, he was saving you from having to marry Sir Thomas.”

  “But I had already turned down Sir Thomas.”

  “I know that because you told me when you first arrived here, but Lord Chantry did not know of it,” Lucy pointed out. “Were you not tempted to accept and become Countess of Chantry? I understand Lord Chantry has a very large estate and a beautiful house.”

  “I am sure he does, but he did not want me, he just wanted a wife and he felt sorry for me. I am sure had I accepted his offer he would have very quickly regretted it.” Miriam did not want to recall how her heart had thudded and how tempted she had been to accept his offer.

  “Well, if he wanted just any wife, there are loads of fluttering debutantes who would be only too glad to oblige,” Lucy insisted. “Can it not be possible he holds some affection for you?”

  Miriam laughed shakily. “Oh, Lucy. I hardly think so. But let us look on the bright side. At least when I am an old, grey spinster I will be able to tell everyone that when I was young I turned down one of the most eligible bachelors in the country.”

  Miriam felt it was time to change the subject. “Now tell me, how are matters progressing between you and Robert? He never takes his eyes from you.”

  Lucy immediately brightened. “We get
on so very well and he is so handsome, do you not think? I am aware that he is paying me particular attention and will not discourage this, but I do not think he will declare himself yet as he is still quite young.” Lucy sighed.

  “From the way he looks at you I would be very surprised if he did not declare himself before too long,” Miriam said encouragingly. She stayed with Lucy for as long as she could without imposing on the Spencer household for too long and overstaying her welcome. They kindly sent for their coach to return her and her maid to Royal Crescent.

  Aunt Beatrice had not calmed down during her absence; in fact, it appeared to Miriam that she had gathered her strength in order to berate her niece further.

  “You may go straight to your room and ask your maid to begin packing your belongings. We will return to Derbyshire tomorrow. I brought you to Bath to find you a husband and I was successful in doing this and yet you turned him down!” She was so incensed that she was breathless as she spoke, her colour high.

  “I am not wasting any more of my time on you. It will be better spent on helping Percival with his wedding plans. There will be a lot to do.” With that, she turned and walked into the drawing room, closing the door on Miriam and making it quite clear that she did not expect her to follow.

  Miriam did not mind going back to Derbyshire. She knew she only had a short time remaining at Charlwood House, the home she loved, and she wanted to make the most of that time. It was the long journey back in the company of her aunt that she did not look forward to.