Next to Me

by AnnaLisa Grant

  I almost can’t breathe. Damn that crazy bitch for slicing my leg up! Although, were it not for her, I wouldn’t have spent the last 17 hours straight with the man I am clearly falling in love with.

  “Well, I suppose I can’t blame you. I mean, look at me. My hair is a ratted mess and I’m rockin’ one sexy, surgical grade bandage on my leg!” We both laugh and the intensity of the moment is gone. I’m afraid to say anything that matches his passion right now because I’m certain that I’ll forego the healing of my leg and rip his clothes off.

  “I love your ratted hair. And no one rocks a surgical grade bandage like you,” he laughs. “I have to leave soon so I can get back to the hotel and get ready for my meeting tonight. And I hate that I wasn’t able to move my appointments around tomorrow. I won’t get to see you until Saturday night.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll rest tomorrow, and by then I’ll be able to hobble around without the crutches. Besides, I’ll be better to work tomorrow night so I’ll need to sleep in the middle of the day anyway.”

  “Are you sure you’re able to work tomorrow night?” he asks warily.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll sit at the nurse’s station and do everyone’s paperwork. They’ll love me!”

  “Ok. I guess that makes me feel a little better. When will Spring be home? Can she help you with your shower or should I call Mercy or Demi?”

  “Spring will be home in a bit. It’s Thursday and she usually isn’t out on a week night. I’ll text her though just to make sure. If she’s going to be out with Matt I can call Demi,” I tell him. “Thank you, Landon. I really appreciate you being here. It’s meant a lot to me.” I lean in and kiss him gently on the lips. It’s not a moment to be passionate, but to really express my gratitude.

  “I’ll always be here for you, Jenna,” he says.

  “I know.”

  *****

  I texted Spring and found out that she did in fact have plans with Matt tonight. So I called Demi and she was quick to come help me in my time of bathing need. Landon stuck around until she got there so I wouldn’t be alone. He gave me one hell of a kiss goodbye and we agreed that we would both live in a heightened state of anticipation until Saturday night.

  Demi has been a great help since she got here, but she definitely seems out of it. She’s usually not this preoccupied. She’s usually wonderfully cynical and sarcastic, which is why I love her so much, but tonight she’s abnormally quiet.

  “So are you going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to guess?” I ask as she helps get me situated at the kitchen table. We ordered pizza and I’m dying to dive into the ham and pineapple deliciousness that sits before me.

  “I’m fine. Eat your weird pizza.” She doesn’t look at me, but goes into the kitchen to get drinks for us.

  “C’mon, Demi. You were fine last night when you came to get me at the hospital. What happened between then and now? Did something happen at work? Oh, my God! Did you get fired?” Demi desperately wants to leave her job, but getting fired is not part of the plan. That doesn’t exactly bode well with future employers.

  “I didn’t get fired. But thanks for that,” she says. She fills our glasses with Dr. Pepper and sits back down.

  “I’m just going to keep asking until you tell me. So, you should probably give in now and spare yourself the nagging.” I take a bite of my pizza and think I’ve gone to heaven. I rarely eat pizza so when I do it feels like a real treat.

  “Fine. But you can’t say anything to anyone. Especially Jack. Ok?” I nod in agreement. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Wow. Not what I was expecting you to say. Are we excited or scared about this?” I ask. I can get on board with whichever it is, I just want to make sure I’m supporting her the way she needs me to.

  “I haven’t decided yet. Jack and I have known each other for a long time, but we haven’t been dating six months yet. I’m 25 with a good job. I hate my job, but it’s not like I’m 16 and still in high school and trying to figure this out. But still…” Demi puts her face in her hands. “I don’t know what to do, Jenna.”

  “Have you told Jack yet?” I ask.

  “No. I just confirmed it this morning at the doctor. I’ve been late before, but never this late. I thought maybe I was just really stressed out with work. Working for Cruella will do that to you.”

  “You have to tell him, Demi. He should have at least some input in what you do,” I say. I’m all for women’s rights, but I think the father of the baby should have some say in what happens. “What do you feel like your options are?”

  “There are only three options any woman has in this position. You either keep the baby, give the baby up, or terminate the pregnancy. I can’t have an abortion. I just…the whole idea of that gives me the creeps. I think I want to keep it, but I don’t know…I don’t know if Jack is ready to give up the things you have to give up when you become a parent. So then I wonder if I want to do this with him or not. I don’t want to be one of those women who gets all aggressive about not needing a man to take care of her and her baby, but seriously…I might as well do this by myself if Jack can’t let go of his bi-weekly manicures. Who wants to do this alone? No one! I don’t. I don’t want to do this alone. I don’t want to do this alone, Jenna.” Demi starts to

  sob and I reach across the table and take her hands in mine.

  “Hey…you’re not alone. I’m here, and Jack will be, too. You have to talk to him and give him the opportunity to help you figure this out.” I rub her hand, trying to comfort her. I can’t imagine how scared she must be right now. “Weren’t you two being safe?” I ask her now that she’s stopped crying. She’s picking at her pizza and starting to eat a little something, too.

  “I’m on the pill, but you know how it says it’s only 99% effective. Guess I’m the 1%! And you know Jack is going to be all manly about his sperm being so strong that they defy the pill.” We laugh at the truth of Demi’s statement. I’m glad to see even the smallest smile from her right now.

  “You know, I always think things happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s unpleasant, but ultimately it happens for a greater reason in the grand scheme of life. If even the pill couldn’t keep you from getting pregnant, I can’t help but believe that there’s a purpose,” I tell her.

  “You’re probably right. Maybe my baby will grow up to find the cure for cancer…and then become President,” she says with a breathy laugh.

  “And at the very least, it’s Jack’s baby, so you know he or she will have great hair and impeccable style.” Demi laughs again and we begin a lighthearted conversation about all the qualities Jack possesses that she hopes their baby gets. I have to steer her away from picking herself apart with all the things she hopes her baby doesn’t get from her. Demi is a beautifully giving person who any child would be lucky to model themselves after.

  I know she’s scared, but it seems talking about it has helped calm her down and put her in a place where she can think more clearly about what she wants. She’s not having an abortion, so now she and Jack have to decide if they’re going to move forward in this pregnancy together, or not. I know Jack well enough to believe he won’t bail on Demi. But this is a huge deal and he wouldn’t be the first guy to freak out and run as fast as he could. Regardless of what Jack decides, Demi won’t face this alone. Mercy and I will be there for her. And, if Jack does run, I think he’ll have to outrun Landon and Jerry first.

  Chapter 9

  Demi spent the night with me last night, partly to help take care of me since Landon couldn’t be there, and partly because she didn’t want to be alone. She took a sick day and hung out with me while I began working my leg and putting pressure on it around the apartment. By lunch I was hobbling around just fine without her and feeling totally confident in my ability to come into work tonight. She’ll tell Jack about the baby tonight when she sees him. I’m sure I’ll get a text at the very least.

  It’s only 10:00 pm and it’s already been one of those nights in the ER. No real eme
rgencies, as in no ambulances, but plenty of fodder for break room conversation. I feel really sorry for the older gentleman who came in earlier after having mistaken a tube of very minty toothpaste for his hemorrhoid cream. And then there was the tatted up girl with purple hair who ended up with acute appendicitis. Her “keep off the lawn” tattoo above her died green pubic hair had us rolling. I think Dr. Culpepper is going to leave a note on her chart apologizing for having to mow the lawn.

  Dr. Culpepper has kept his word and I have been pretty immobile for the most part tonight. He said he wants me to save my strength for if they really need me up and about, so I’ve been doing basic paperwork and tag-teaming on some calls in the triage office.

  “How’s it going, gimp?” Tim, one of the other ER nurses says to me. “I can’t believe you came in tonight! I would have totally milked it!” Tim’s a tall, lanky guy from Missouri who talks like a surfer. He’s a walking contradiction, and one of my favorite people in the ER.

  “I know, I know. Mercy told me the same thing. I just didn’t like the idea of leaving you guys short staffed. You never know when the shit is going to hit the fan around here! Besides, the ER has the best stories ever!” I tell him. “Did you see keep off the lawn appendicitis girl?”

  “Oh, my God! Yes!” he laughs.

  “That’s one of the best stories yet!” I say.

  “Did I ever tell you about when I was working at a rehab center? I was giving an 87-year-old male patient a sponge bath. I stood him up so I could wash his family jewels. He looked down and said ‘Have you ever seen anything so big?’ I didn’t know exactly what to tell him, and tried to think of an appropriate response. But before I could say a word, he shook his head and said, ‘My brother-in-law told me once that these have got to be biggest damn feet he has ever seen.’” Tim barely gets the last part out before bursting into laughter. I follow quickly, grateful I didn’t take a swig of my soda before he gave me the punch line.

  “Oh, my God! That is hysterical!” I shout.

  “I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m fairly sure I’m going to want to hear this story later,” Dr. Culpepper says as he approaches Tim and me. “Tim can you check on room four? Jenna, there’s a head trauma in room seven. If you’re up to it, can you check on him please? Make sure he’s not falling asleep?”

  “Of course. It’s about time for me to get up and stretch,” I tell him. Tim makes his way to room four and I hobble my way to room seven. It’s getting easier to walk, and I do my best not to limp. Limping too much could lead to hip problems and that’s worse than the healing process for this gash in my leg.

  I pull the chart from the file hanger on the outside of the room and almost scream as I throw the curtain open.

  “Landon! What are you doing here? Oh, my God! What happened?” I practically yell as I shuffle quickly into his room. He’s lying there with an ice pack on his head wearing a disheveled suit. His tie is extremely loose around his neck and the top two buttons on his dress shirt are undone. He looks rough and I’m so scared that I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.

  “Jenna! What are you doing here,” he says shocked. He tries to sit up but

  it clearly makes him dizzy so he lies back down.

  “I’m working…covering in the ER tonight,” I tell him as I check his vitals. His heart rate is elevated, but I think that’s just because I startled him.

  “Oh…I didn’t know,” he says.

  “When did you get here? I must have been in the triage office when you were admitted.”

  “Um…maybe an hour. They hooked me up to this IV and got fluids going even though I told them I was fine. I’m still fine. I got clipped by a cab tonight. I’m fine, really. In fact, I’m going to check out right now.” Landon is anxious and fidgety. I’ve never seen him like this.

  “Fluids are standard procedure. But, you’re obviously not ok, Landon. Now, I can’t attend to you due to conflict of interest, but I’ll get Tim in here in a minute to check your fluids and that bump on your head, ok?” I take his hand that isn’t connected to an IV and run my thumb across his knuckles. “I’m sorry I freaked out. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I was just really scared.”

  “It’s ok. I…I guess I was just taken by surprise to find you here, too.” Landon squeezes my hand and smiles. “I’m going to be fine. I’m in the best ER in Chicago, right?”

  “Right.” I give him a quick kiss and head out to the nurse’s station to wait for Tim so I can send him in to take care of Landon. When Dr. Culpepper comes back I’ll tell him why.

  About ten minutes goes by before Tim and Dr. Culpepper come back from checking on patients. I tell them about Landon and Dr. Culpepper sends Tim to do a full check on him before heading off in another direction. I’m in the middle of documenting why I had to pass Landon off to Tim when a woman enters the ER. She’s got long, wavy blonde hair and is wearing a striking blue dress. She’s scanning the loop of ER rooms when she approaches the nurse’s station.

  “Can I help you find someone?” I ask.

  “Yes, I’m looking for a guy. Tall, really handsome? We were on a date when he got clipped by a cab as we started to cross the street,” she says.

  My heart stops and I immediately begin to think of any of the other patients that have been in tonight. Were there any other head injuries? Maybe more than one came in while I was in the triage office.

  “Do…you…have his name?” I ask hesitantly. I know it didn’t come out very professional, but I’m working really hard right now to will her into saying any other name.

  “Yes, of course. How silly of me. His name is Landon Scott.”

  No, no, no, no. This is not happening. Maybe she thinks it was a date, but really they’re just business associates. I can’t blame her for being interested in Landon. I’ll just take her to his room and get this all cleared up.

  “Sure. I’ll take you to his room.” I stand up slowly, still hoping with everything in me that the status of their evening is a misunderstanding on her part. “A date, huh? So how did you two meet?”

  “A dance class of all places! I take a Latin dance class on Wednesdays and one day I showed up and he was there. He was really good! We’ve only been out a few times, but, you know…you get that feeling like it could be more. It’s like he knows how to read me. He’s figured out all my favorite things. Like, tonight, he took me out to the most amazing Mexican restaurant,” she tells me with bright eyes.

  “Yeah…” I say trying to keep from throwing up my heart.

  I walk into Landon’s room and his eyes light up the moment he sees me. The light quickly fades, though, as blondie enters behind me.

  “You have a visitor,” I tell him before turning and walking out of the room. Dr. Culpepper is back at the nurse’s station when I return. I hear Landon shouting my name but I ignore him completely.

  “Everything ok, Jenna?” Dr. Culpepper asks.

  “I know I said I was fine to work tonight, but I’m just in too much pain to stay,” I tell him. I wish I was talking about my leg, but it’s my heart that

  feels like it’s burning and being clamped in a vice. “Will you be fine if I go?”

  Dr. Culpepper looks back toward Landon’s room and looks at the tears filling my eyes. “Will you be fine if you go?” he asks. He’s got this fatherly way of looking and talking sometimes. It’s part of what makes him an excellent doctor.

  “Better than if I stay,” I tell him, choking back tears.

  “Go. Take care of yourself. I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope it works out, Jenna.” Dr. Culpepper squeezes my shoulder before I walk behind the nurse’s station and grab my purse.

  I leave the ER, walking and crying for two blocks before I realize how much my leg hurts. I hail a cab and slide in, squeaking out my address just loud enough for him to hear me. I can’t believe this is happening. I thought we felt the same way about each other, especially considering he took care of me just 36 hour ago. I think of all
the things I told him, all the things I shared with him. I even considered telling him everything about my past!

  I wipe the tears from my face as I open the door to the apartment just before midnight. It’s dark and I know Spring is already in bed so I do my best to be as quiet as possible. I drop my purse on the couch and go straight to my room. My phone has been buzzing for the last 45 minutes with calls and texts from Landon. I haven’t read any of them since the first one that told me he was sorry and just needed to explain.

  Changing out of my scrubs, I find a shirt and a pair of sleep shorts to put on because all I want to do is crawl in bed and not get out until I have to be at work again on Monday night. I’ve just pulled my hair back up into a pony tail and am about to brush my teeth when there’s a knock at the door. It could only be Landon so I’m not going to answer it. He knocks again, a little louder this time. I still don’t answer. My phone buzzes again and this time I look at his text that tells me he’s going to stay out there all night banging on my door if I don’t answer him.

  I ignore his text, not believing he’d actually do that. It’s the middle of the

  night and he knows Spring, along with all my neighbors, is sleeping.

  I was wrong.

  The next thing I hear is a loud bang on the front door. I rush to it as fast as I can before he wakes anyone.

  “You’re an asshole. Go away, Landon,” I say through the door.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jenna. You have to hear me out,” he pleads. “Please. Please just let me explain.” The tone in his voice is sad and it sounds like maybe he’s been crying, too. Good.