Next to Me

by AnnaLisa Grant

  “I can’t believe this! I knew once you stopped cataloging every guy’s faults that you’d fall in love! Wait…are you going to Paris to get married in Paris?” Spring asks with mixed emotions.

  “You can’t say anything to Mercy, or Demi and Jack, ok?” I tell her. It’s one thing to lie to Spring, which I absolutely hate doing. It’s another thing to lie to all of my friends. I don’t want their last memory of me to be that I deceived them.

  “Yeah, Mercy would freak out if she knew you were going to get married and she wasn’t a part of it.” Spring has never spoken truer words.

  Mercy would have my head on a platter if I left her out of something like this. Fortunately for my head, it won’t be necessary. I’ll come up with some reason as to why we didn’t go through with it. I tell them all we decided it was too fast and that we’re parting ways, still friends. Then I’ll tell them I need some time to get away, pack as much as I possibly can into Oz’s oversized duffle bag, and walk away.

  “Are you crying?” Spring asks. Tears are filling my eyes at the thought of the outright lies I’ll be telling them, but more because I’m going to have to walk away from the only family I’ve had since Dad died.

  “You swept her off her feet, huh, Landon,” Matt chimes in. He’s a good-looking guy, tall with olive skin and black hair. He has this way of walking that makes him look like he’s sauntering everywhere.

  “Yeah, I guess I did,” Landon says as he takes my hand. “Lucky me.”

  “I’m going to walk Landon out…” I begin as I open the front door and nudge Landon into the hallway. Spring hugs me again and tells me how excited she is for Landon and me before I close the door behind me. She’s a totally low-key, non-fru-fru dress kind of girl so it’s no wonder she’s not freaking out like Mercy would about being a part of my wedding…my fictional wedding. I won’t be surprised if when she and Matt get married if she isn’t wearing shoes and has a crown of daisies in her hair.

  “Thank you for the cover story. Obviously you’ll have to stay out of site while I’m in Paris, but you’ll probably head back to Miami anyway.” I tell him as I push the button for the elevator.

  “I’m not going to Miami, Jenna. And…it doesn’t have to be a cover.” Landon won’t release the lock he has on my eyes, not that I want him to. He takes my hand and turns as the silver elevator doors close, standing there in silence, staring at our reflection. I don’t refuse his hand because I want to appreciate the moment I have with him.

  A gust of warm, night air slams into us when we leave the coolness of my building and step onto the sidewalk. We both stand there, silent for a few minutes, neither of us sure what to say. He doesn’t want me to do this on my own, but I can’t put him at risk. This is the price of being owned by Henry Dellinger. I either do his bidding, or I spend the rest of my life running, saying goodbye to everyone I love and never getting close to anyone ever again. Oddly enough, I’d rather spend the rest of my days alone than to do any more than I have to for that slimy snake.

  “I don’t know what to say. I wish things were different. I wish I had come to Chicago just to go to school. I wish we had met under different circumstances, but…there is far too much for me to focus on right now that I just can’t…”

  “I’m not leaving you. I don’t care what the situation is, I’m not giving up on us. I meant what I said outside the restaurant and what I said

  upstairs…all of it.” His eyes are piercing and begging me to let him in.

  “I need you to let me get through this thing in Paris. I’ll be home in a week, and then…I won’t leave right away. Please, Landon. I know Dellinger and I need you to trust that I’m doing the best thing.” My pleading eyes find his in hopes of conveying how much he needs to trust me right now.

  “You’ve been alone for too long, Jenna. You’ve spent the last six years being so closed off that you don’t even know how to let someone help you in a time of crisis…someone who would lay down his life for you. And you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go and that I’m going to walk away while you throw yourself headfirst into this.”

  “I need to go now. I still have a lot to figure out in the next two days,” I say, completely avoiding the truth of his statement. Dellinger forced me into a place of hiding, not just geographically, but emotionally. And this situation is the exact reason why I spent so long avoiding relationships. I knew if Dellinger found me one day that I’d be forced to pick up and leave everyone I loved.

  Landon shakes his head and looks away, frustrated by my unwillingness to let him join me on this kamikaze mission. Seeming to give up, Landon hails a cab and I stand there, having as many moments with him as I can before I head off into what could prove to be either a life of perpetual hiding, or death. The cab pulls up quickly and Landon takes me in his arms. I press my ear to his chest and listen to his heartbeat, each thud reminding me why I’m pushing him and everyone else I love away.

  He kisses me and I reach my hands behind his head, making the kiss last as long as possible. It ends all too soon when Landon takes me by my shoulders and concentrates on my face. There’s a glimmer in his eye. A shine that tells me my efforts to push him away are futile. Part of me is rejoicing in that because I truly don’t want to lose him. The other part of me is really scared. My Navy Seal boyfriend is just brave and in love with me enough to do something drastic. My hope is that drastic doesn’t equal stupid.

  Chapter 12

  My flight from Chicago to JFK in New York was uneventful, which is exactly what you want in a flight. Well, it wasn’t completely uneventful. I got to the gate and discovered that my seat was in Business Class. At least the rich bastard splurged on a comfortable seat for me.

  The 24 hours leading up to that flight were more eventful than I would ever care to relive. First, I had to explain to my boss that I’m apparently so in love that I’ve agreed to get married in Paris on a moment’s notice, with no regard whatsoever for the effect this will have on my job or the other staff. Fortunately I have four weeks of vacation and a hopeless romantic for a boss. She moved some things around and even offered to cover for me so I could follow my heart and marry the man of my dreams.

  Then I had to make her promise she wouldn’t breathe a word of why I was gone to Mercy. I had a huge fight with her before I left because all I would tell her was that I was going out of town for a few days to clear my head. She’s not used to me being so cryptic, but what else was I going to tell her?

  The worst part was when Demi came over yesterday. She still hasn’t told Jack about the baby and was going to do it today. I promised her that I would be there for her, that she wouldn’t be alone, and when it came down to her needing me the most I had to tell her I couldn’t be there. All I could give her was the same, pathetic excuse that I was going out of town to clear my head. She left my apartment in tears which made me feel like total shit and has only served to fuel my hatred for Senator Henry Dellinger.

  I had a very brave and partially transparent conversation with Spring before I left this morning. I don’t know how this whole thing is going to go down. I’m confident I know what Dellinger wants, but I don’t know who his contact is there and I certainly don’t trust him. I don’t know if this guy is going to have my back or get me caught and take whatever he can get his hands on and run.

  I needed Spring to know a few things before I left and maybe never came back. I told her that things aren’t necessarily what they seem and that if I didn’t come back it would be because I didn’t make it and that she was to contact Oz. I gave her the last information I had for him and said a prayer that he’s still there. I don’t want to die and him not know. I told her that I had been on the run when she met me and that my past was catching up with me. She asked if Landon was part of my past and I told her that he wasn’t. I wish I could say that he’s at least part of my future, but that’s not true either.

  Spring promised to keep my secret and I promised to tell her everything when I got home. She told me
to be safe and not to give up. She also told me that when it seemed like I was in a dark and lonely place to remember how much Landon loves me. “Just thinking about how loved you are can make all the difference in the outcome of what seems like a hopeless situation,” she said. I wish I had her optimism.

  I mill around the airport near my gate since I don’t have a long layover. I’ve got my ear buds in my ears and am listening to random songs on a Favorites playlist. I barely listen to a whole song, skipping on to the next one to see if it suits my mood. I see the boarding attendant pick up the phone and realize she’s making an announcement. She calls for passengers in Zone 1 to board. I double check my boarding pass and realize that I can board.

  I walk the long, extended bridge between the building and the airplane and the flight attendant checks my boarding pass to direct me to my seat.

  “Bon jour Miss Rockwell. Your seat is right this way,” the sweet-looking flight attended says to me in a soft French accent. I begin to move to the right where it appears the business class seating is, but the attendant leads me to the left. I follow behind her and step into an area with maybe 20 seats.

  No, they aren’t seats. They’re space-age, Star Trek-style lounging pods.

  “Are you sure this is where I’m supposed to be?” I ask her in disbelief. I can buy that Dellinger would set me up in business class, but this is just too much. Although, now that I think about it, it makes sense that he would flaunt his money and power this way.

  “Yes, ma’am. This is your seat right here, closest to the window. Can I get you anything before we take off?” she asks.

  “Um…you can show me how to work this seat,” I tell her as my cheeks turn red from embarrassment. Could I look and act more out of place?

  The kind girl doesn’t hesitate and with a smile proceeds to show me all the bells and whistles I’ll be able to enjoy during the 11-hour flight to Paris. She offers me lounging clothes and a wool blanket if I want to be more comfortable while I sleep in my chair that converts into a real six foot bed. She also tells me that I have a wide range of movies on demand that I can watch on my personal video screen. That’s all before she shows me the massage feature on my seat that also has a personal telephone. Finally, she explains that I’ll be able to enjoy a cocktail before a meal that will clearly make this the fanciest French restaurant I’ve ever been in.

  “If you have any other questions or needs, please do not hesitate to ask. We’re here to ensure you have a wonderful flight.” We smile at each other and I sit awkwardly in my pod.

  “Well, I suppose I should just get comfortable,” I say out loud to myself.

  “I suppose you should.”

  I turn toward the voice and find Landon standing next to the aisle seat.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask him with mixed emotions. I’m mad that he didn’t leave me to do this on my own like I told him I wanted, but I’m also happy for the same reason. Any girl who tells you she doesn’t want the guy she’s madly in love with to come chasing after her is lying.

  “I told you I didn’t care what you said. You’re not doing this on your own.” Landon sets his bag down and begins to get himself settled very matter-of-factly. I smile, deciding to let us have this time together now. But…once everything is over, and I have to disappear…well, I’ll figure out how to break his heart later.

  “I was thinking about what you told Spring, you know…the cover story you gave her,” I begin as Landon sits.

  “Let’s talk about that when all this is over and we’re warm, lying in your bed,” he says. He takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine.

  I want to tell him that I would absolutely marry him. That the idea of spending the rest of my life with him is the happiest thought I’ve ever had. I want him to know in his heart just how madly in love with him I am. That way, when I have to leave, when I have to walk away, he’ll know it’s because I love him so much that I would sacrifice a life with him if it meant ensuring his safety.

  It’s not long into the flight when the attendants start their rounds through what I found out is called the La Premiere class cabin and began offering cocktails and other cold beverages before dinner. We both opt for something simple, so Landon orders a Jack and Coke while I ask for gin and tonic. We sit quietly for a moment before Landon breaks the silence.

  “I’d still really like to know about your dad,” he says quietly. His inquiry pricks a tender place in me that I had been ignoring since Dellinger, not my father, walked into that restaurant. I haven’t dealt with the tremendous disappointment that was. To say I was thrilled and overjoyed to see my father would be an understatement. When it wasn’t him, I was devastated. I couldn’t consider those feelings, though. I’ve had to plan out my deception to my friends and think about how I’m going to disappear. It’s only now that Landon is bringing him up that I’m really thinking about him.

  “He was really great,” I begin. “He and my mom were married for 15 years before she died. He used to say she saved his life. He had been in a lot of trouble when he was younger. Grew up on the wrong side of the city, got involved with some bad people, ended up in a gang. He would tell me stories of those days and I always found it interesting how each guy in the gang fell into his own role. Leaders, lackies, muscle…my dad discovered that he had these mad lock picking skills. He could crack any lock or safe that wasn’t coded. He eventually developed this skill, this way, of getting into sealed display cases. He said that’s where the really valuable stuff always is, and that the people who can afford those kinds of pieces can also afford to have special cases for them.

  “Once he honed his skill, he and Oz decided they were tired of the junk the guys were grabbing from pawn shops and they’d try to hit some more upscale places. It started out with consignment stores and moved to specialty collector shops, and eventually homes in Georgetown and Foggy Bottom. He had a rap sheet from when he would pull jobs with the gang, but he never got caught, not once, when he started hitting the better places with Oz.”

  It feels strangely wonderful to talk about Dad. I’ve never really talked to anyone about him. I certainly never told my friends in high school about my dad’s past. Some of them had parents in politics and government. I only wanted them to know my dad as the owner of a really successful business, not some former thug. You put something like that out there and that’s all people remember.

  “So, if your dad was living the gang life, how’d he meet your mom? Was she part of the gang, too?” Landon asks. His body is turned almost completely toward me. It’s one of the things I love about him. When we talk, he gives me his full attention.

  “Oh, God, no! My mom was as straight and narrow as they come! They met at a party of a girl they somehow both new from high school. They both said they saw each other and just knew. They got talking and the rest, as they say, was history. Mom convinced Dad he could have a better life if he left the gang, so he did. He eventually convinced Oz to leave, too, so they started their own business. They got married a year after they graduated from high school and had me five years later,” I tell him.

  “A good woman will make any man change his ways,” Landon smiles.

  “Well, you can take the boy from the wrong side of the tracks, but you can’t take the wrong side of the tracks out of the boy. Dad was proud of his skills and often joked that he wished he could patent them,” I say with a small laugh. “When I was a kid I would watch him in his work room. He fixed household stuff in there all the time because our house was falling apart. But sometimes, I’d find him in there putting glass cases together and then breaking into them. And he would buy these locks that were supposed to be so intricate that no one could pick them, but Dad laughed in their faces and picked every one. You already know that he taught me how to pick a lock, which, as you witnessed, is actually a very handy thing to know. But as I spent more time in there with him, he would show me how to do more and more.

  “It wasn’t really a big deal, but after Mom died, it
was kind of how we coped together. It was just an activity to me, something that made me feel like I wasn’t alone. He took such good care of me then. He always did.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jenna. It sounds like he was a really great dad. That’s rarer than you know.” Landon tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and brushes my cheek with his thumb. All I can do is nod. “So…how did he end up getting connect with Dellinger?”

  “Dellinger’s home was robbed and Dad’s company was hired to replace the locks that night. Dellinger had some display cases that got smashed. Dad was thinking out loud and commented that it was such a lazy way to pull a job. Dellinger overheard him and asked what he meant. Dad, not being one to shy away from bragging on himself, told Dellinger that when he was a lesser man, he used to pull jobs like this, only with style.

  “The Senator is a collector. He displays some of his findings, but he likes to keep most of it locked up. He’s the rich, arrogant type who finds complete satisfaction in just knowing that he has things that you can’t have, and he doesn’t like knowing that someone else has something that he wants. When he sets his sights on a piece, he makes it his. Sometimes that means bidding at auctions until he puts the other bidders to shame, and sometimes that means sending someone to get what he believes should be his. He comes from old money and has plenty of new money, too, so that’s never an obstacle.”

  “So Dellinger threw more money at your dad than he had ever seen and offered him a job recovering what he wanted,” Landon says.

  “I was so mad at my dad when I found out. I mean, that was the life that my mom had rescued him from and there he was falling right back into it. But, things were really, really tight after Mom got sick and stopped working. And then we had all her medical bills that insurance didn’t cover. We were in such a desperate state that I guess Dad didn’t feel like he had a choice. He didn’t want to live that life again. We were poor but we were so happy. Dad decided that he if was going to do this that most of the money would go toward paying for my college. But, since I couldn’t take any of that money with me, Oz paid for my college and set up a nice nest egg when he helped Veronica Matthews drop off the face of the earth.” I take a deep breath remembering the night I escaped and left my father to die under a tree.