by Felix Brooks
Paige nodded vigorously. “My mom is an amateur herbalist. I know some excellent natural poisons.”
“Jake’s a biochemist,” Emmett suggested. “He could probably pick up something lethal from the lab.”
Jake shook his head. “Too easy to trace. Let’s do it the easy way—get him drunk and dare him to jump from the highest building on campus.”
“That would totally work,” Brent said.
Waseem laughed. “Remind me not to get on y’all’s bad side.”
Jake rolled a pen in his hands. “So if we can’t actually kill Niels, can we keep it quiet?”
“Half the people on this campus already think Brent’s dating me.” Paige looked at him. “We could play that up more.”
“You would do that for me?” Waseem asked with a smile.
“Not for you—for Brent. Regardless of what I say, he’s going to date you.” She shrugged. “Which is fine. You two could be good together. As long as he’s not jeopardizing his future.”
Brent stared at her. “You’re the last person I thought would recommend I stay in the closet.”
She squeezed his shoulder. “Look, there are lots of ways to pay for a college education. But your future is riding on next year’s football season. It’s a special case. Keeping your orientation quiet for a few more months won’t kill you. Assuming you are actually gay.”
Brent raised his brows, responding to the challenge in Paige’s tone. He stalked over and pulled Waseem into a kiss.
The tender brush of lips sent a shiver through Waseem. Brent was tentative at first, but quickly grew more insistent, gripping the front of Waseem’s shirt and pulling him close. Waseem followed his lead, hands resting on Brent’s shoulders. Just being close like this filled him with a powerful longing, so much deeper than what he had felt with other men. Even his feelings for Garon had been nothing compared to this.
Brent pulled away, leaving Waseem panting. He planted one more little kiss on Waseem’s lips, then turned to Paige. “Is that gay enough for you?”
She shook her head. “Fine. You have my blessing. Just be careful.”
Waseem took Brent’s hand. He’d had enough debate for one evening. “Excuse us. We have some things to discuss in my room.”
***
No sooner had Waseem shut the door to his dorm room than Brent jumped him.
Brent covered him with kisses, but Waseem pulled back. “Whoa, slow down. There’s no rush.”
“I’m a twenty-one-year-old virgin. There kind of is?”
Waseem chuckled. His eyes wandered to the full-sized bed with the navy comforter. “That night in the hotel room… You thought that was hot, right?”
“Hottest thing that ever happened to me.”
“Then imagine doing that, except instead of getting ourselves off, we get each other off.”
Brent’s mouth fell open, and his breathing stopped. “I so want to do that right now.”
Waseem laughed and pulled him close. “You’re adorable. I can’t wait to teach you everything. But one step at a time.” He stroked the stubble of Brent’s cheek, loving the roughness of it over Brent’s smooth skin. The contrast drove him a little crazy. “Paige isn’t wrong, you know. Rushing into this could be too much for you. Right now, it’s enough for me if we just touch. Okay?”
“But you’ve got so much experience. I don’t want you to get bored with me.”
“Nothing about you bores me.”
Brent kissed him, deep and hot. The ache in Waseem’s cock spread to his balls. As Brent glided his hands over Waseem’s back, Waseem grabbed the guy’s ass, his gut clenching in anticipation.
Brent pulled back and looked at him, pupils blown, lids hooded. “Can we take our clothes off now?”
He was so eager. It was adorable. But Waseem had a different pace in mind.
He undressed Brent slowly. He’d never been with anyone who was demi before, but he’d done enough reading to understand how important the romantic part of the relationship was. Waseem relished the chance to take his time, to seduce someone who could appreciate foreplay as much as the act itself.
He unbuttoned Brent’s shirt and pushed it down off his arms. He’d seen that gorgeous torso a hundred times but had never gotten the chance to touch it before. All that pale skin, the color of sunshine, covering rock-hard muscle. Waseem flicked a nipple, and Brent shuddered.
Waseem cupped Brent’s face in his hands. “Doing okay so far?”
Brent nodded, eyes glazed.
Waseem took off his own shirt and held Brent against him, skin-to-skin. He wasn’t sure Brent had ever had that before, and he wanted to show him all the little pleasures intimacy held. He threaded his fingers through Brent’s hair, and Brent’s breathing grew ragged.
“Waseem,” he said softly, a whisper in Waseem’s ear.
Waseem braced himself. He was impossibly hard. But he wanted this to be gentle, not so much a giving or taking as two bodies uniting as one.
He kissed along the curve of Brent’s neck, and the guy moaned. Every brush of lips against flesh drew a reaction from him. Waseem could have kissed him all night, except Brent was starting to rut against him. The guy needed release. Time to move it along.
They undressed quickly and got under the covers. As their mouths explored one another, their dicks rubbed together, and Brent grew more desperate. “Holy shit. I never knew anything could feel this good.”
Waseem got out some lube. He kissed Brent’s earlobe and said, “I want to touch you.”
“Hell yes,” Brent groaned.
Waseem squeezed out a dollop of the lube and slicked it on Brent’s dick. Brent hissed. Waseem didn’t give a lot of hand jobs, but he knew his way around a man’s body. With an arm encircling Brent’s shoulder, his front to Brent’s back, he gently explored the head, the shaft, the balls, testing to see what Brent liked. Apparently he liked everything, if his frequent and enthusiastic moans were anything to go by.
Waseem slid a teasing finger around the ridge of the head, and Brent whimpered. “More.”
But Waseem was having none of it. This was Brent’s first time. Waseem wasn’t going to rush through it. He ghosted his fingertips along the shaft, then brushed his thumb along the slit. “Focus on the sensation,” Waseem said. “Don’t be so goal oriented. This is about you and me sharing an experience.”
Brent nodded, his body relaxing against Waseem. It was such a pleasure, feeling the closeness of him, after wanting him so long. Waseem would be happy just to do this, teaching Brent what intimacy felt like, how good it could be when two people cared for each other, body and soul.
“You’re so beautiful, babe,” Waseem murmured. “I can’t believe I get to touch you like this. I’ve fantasized about you so many times, but this is better. Feeling your heartbeat, smelling your hair. I want to experience everything about you.”
“Waseem.” Brent’s voice was rough. “I never imagined anything like this. Never imagined it could be so good.”
And if Waseem had anything to say about it, it was only just beginning.
Chapter 10
Brent floated in a haze of sensation. Waseem’s hand on his dick did strange things to him. He didn’t have to think, he didn’t have to do, he only had to feel and to be. Waseem was taking care of him, and it had been a long time since someone had done that.
Waseem picked up the pace. Hot lightning shot through Brent’s cock. He reached around and combed his fingers through Waseem’s hair, wanting to get closer. “Please,” he murmured, not sure what he was asking for, knowing only that in that moment, Waseem was his entire world.
The orgasm rolled over him like a locomotive, relentless and powerful, his body quaking in pleasure. “Waseem!”
“That’s it, babe. You’re beautiful. So beautiful when you come.”
He shuddered endlessly, hot cum shooting out of him, depleting him. Waseem had taken all Brent had, and now Brent was gone, lost in Waseem’s embrace. He had no existence. It was all Waseem. Only
Waseem.
At last his body stopped shaking and he caught his breath, melting into his lover. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to think. He lay on the bed, quiescent, feeling part of the universe and not a separate thing.
He must have dozed, because the next thing he knew Waseem was cleaning him up with tissues, his touch crazy gentle, like Brent was made of porcelain.
“Sorry,” Brent mumbled.
“That’s okay. I like being here with you like this. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Just holding you is heaven.”
Brent shifted to face him and pulled him in for a kiss. “I thought we were going to do that together.”
“It’s okay. I wanted to give you that. Wanted to show you what it’s like to give your body over to someone else, and just enjoy.”
“It was amazing.”
Waseem kissed him. “I wish this bed were bigger. A full-size was all I could fit in here.”
“I’ve got a queen at my place.”
“Maybe I could stay over next weekend, and you could cook for me.”
“You bring the eggs and orange juice, I’ll do the rest.”
“Deal.” Waseem kissed his forehead. “I hate to kick you out of bed, but I’ve got a paper to work on. You’re welcome to stay and study—”
“Not so fast.” Brent grabbed Waseem’s cock, which was still semi-hard. “We’re not done here yet.”
Waseem squirmed. “You don’t have to—”
Brent silenced him with a kiss. “I want to.”
He slid his hand lightly along the shaft and rubbed his thumb over the cap. Waseem moaned, and Brent spread the precum over him for lubrication. There was so much, he didn’t need any more lube to get the right amount of friction.
Brent had never touched another guy that way, and he freaking loved it. Waseem was thick and heavy in his hand, and so sensitive, thrusting into Brent’s touch. He pulled Brent into a kiss, which reached inside him and tugged on his heart.
All this time, he’d been missing out on this. Brent didn’t know this kind of pleasure, this kind of connection existed. Sure, the physical part of it was great, but the happiness and warmth he felt with his body intertwined with Waseem’s was more than he could have imagined.
Brent was getting hard against him, and he rutted up against Waseem’s body. Waseem took both of them in his hand. Brent cried out—it was the best damn thing he had ever felt.
Waseem obviously knew what he was doing, so Brent let him take over. He stroked Waseem’s back and shoulders, rained kisses on his face and neck. The words “I love you” came to mind, but he knew it was too soon to say them. He wasn’t completely dumb. He knew about hormones, how they affected people during sex. He cared about Waseem, and he wanted to be with him, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself emotionally.
Waseem was writhing now. Brent pinched his nipples, and that took Waseem over the edge. His hot cum coated Brent’s dick, and he used it as lube to finish himself off while Waseem covered him with kisses. The second orgasm wasn’t as powerful as the first, but it still rocked his body from his head to his feet, sapping what energy he had left.
He woke an hour later, covered in dried cum, Waseem snoozing beside him. He kissed the guy awake. “We’re a mess.”
“I’ve got a clean towel if you want to take a shower.”
“That’s a fantastic idea.”
Once they cleaned up, Brent decided to go back to his place so Waseem could work. He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off the guy. Plus, he had a lot to think about. This had been a big step for him, and he had to figure out what that meant for the rest of his life.
***
The next morning, Brent went to classes in sort of a daze. He’d had a bowl of cereal for breakfast instead of going to the cafeteria to eat with his friends. As much as he was dying to see Waseem, he needed some space to clear his head. He’d sent a text to let Waseem know what was up, so he wouldn’t worry.
He sat through his Shakespeare class hardly listening. He’d put off his humanities requirements as long as he could, and Emmett had recommended this class. Brent liked Professor Silver, and also the fact that watching videos of plays counted as coursework. But that day, his mind was elsewhere.
He wasn’t a virgin anymore. He didn’t care what anyone else had said—what he and Waseem had done counted as sex. Penetration was a heteronormative concept.
Did he want penetration? He hadn’t given it much thought. When guys in the locker room had talked about BJs, he’d felt weird and left out. They would have laughed to know that no one had done that for him. And it did sound nice. He didn’t think it was necessary for his happiness, though.
But Waseem would probably want it. The thought made Brent uncomfortable. He wasn’t totally against it, but he didn’t like the idea that someone would expect that of him. He knew Waseem would be cool about it, but for how long?
Brent wasn’t sure he could be sexual like everyone else. What he and Waseem had done the night before had been amazing. He wanted to keep doing that. But as for other things…
Brent clearly hadn’t thought this through.
“Mr. Adams.” Professor Silver’s voice cut through his reverie.
“Yeah?”
The rest of the class laughed.
“What do you think about Miss Herman’s question, about why Juliet didn’t just tell her parents she couldn’t marry Paris because she was already married to Romeo?”
“Because she was under their control,” Brent said instinctively. “She was a teenager—she didn’t think of herself as autonomous. She had to make her parents happy, because they had the power to take everything away from her. The fact that she was already married might not have made a difference to them. They might have forced her to marry Paris anyway, and had her marriage to Romeo annulled. She was in a no-win situation. Faking her death was the only way out.”
Professor Silver nodded, like he usually did, not saying whether the answer was right or wrong. Literature was art, after all, not science. It was open to endless interpretation.
Kind of like life.
Brent finished up his classes for the day around three o’clock and headed back to his apartment. He needed to talk to someone—someone who would understand. Only one person came to mind.
He called his brother on his cell. “Can you talk?”
“Yeah, I just got home, and Mom’s at her design class. What’s up?”
“You have to promise not to tell anyone. Like, not even your best friend.”
“I won’t.”
“Since Karen and I broke up, I realized some stuff. The long and short of it is, I’m gay.”
The silence on the other end of the line was worrisome. At last, Michael asked, “Are you sure?”
Brent flopped onto the couch. “Yeah. And I’m not even sorry about it. It makes me happy, even though I know it’s going to be difficult. I saw what my friend Emmett went through.”
“That was fucking insane. You realize the same thing could happen to you if anyone finds out?”
Brent knew. It was terrifying, but that didn’t change anything. His being gay was simply a fact. His loving Waseem was also a fact. They weren’t things he could decide to change. “That’s why you’re not going to tell anyone.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
Despair washed over Brent. It wasn’t fair that he had to make a decision like this, that he had to choose between his family and his identity. “Mom and Dad will never accept it.”
Michael didn’t respond right away. After a few seconds, he said, “I’ll side with you. If they make me choose, I mean.”
Brent massaged the bridge of his nose. This really was an impossible situation. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you to make that sacrifice.”
“Hopefully it won’t come to that. But I’m almost eighteen, and I make my own decisions. I won’t be dictated to.”
Brent smiled. “Thanks, little bro.”
“I’m not li
ttle.”
“You’re littler than me.”
“Are you okay? Because you don’t sound it.”
Brent laid his head back, resting it on top of the couch. “Talking to you about it makes it more real, somehow. Knowing Mom and Dad won’t approve. Not knowing how they’ll react.”
“Maybe they don’t ever have to know. After all, Rachel brings her ‘roommate’ to the family reunions every year, and no one is the wiser.”
That was true. Their cousin Rachel was almost thirty and had been with the same woman since college. Their grandma still asked every year when Rachel was going to find a nice young man and settle down. Don’t hold your breath, Grandma.
It was a stupid world they lived in—people couldn’t accept that same-sex mating was a natural phenomenon, even though it had been observed in multiple species. It was like insisting that the sun revolved around the earth based on a Bible verse. The abundance of science deniers in the twenty-first century was mind-boggling. The only possible excuse was willful ignorance.
He couldn’t change the world, though, only adapt. If he was lucky, one day he might influence some of the people he came into contact with. For now, he had to hide the most meaningful thing that had ever happened to him from his family—knowing that if they found out, they had the power to destroy his future.
***
After ending the call with his brother, Brent texted Waseem. Dinner at my place?
You cooking, or should I bring pizza?
Pizza ftw!
Waseem showed up carrying an extra-large pizza with barbecued chicken and pineapple. The aroma of garlic floated up from the box. “How did you know that’s my favorite?”
“ ’Cause I rock that way. Also, I’ve had a crush on you for a while, so I noticed shit like that.”
Brent kissed him. “I think I had a crush on you, too. I just didn’t realize that’s what it was.”
Waseem’s eyes shone. “So, is everything cool with you?”
“Yeah, I talked to my brother. He’s got me thinking about whether there’s a way to go through life without coming out to my parents. And to be honest, if I don’t get drafted to play pro ball, it might be possible. But after what happened with Emmett, and the tabloids chasing down the story… I’d be crazy to think we could be together, and the press wouldn’t find out about it.”