Mall Land

by Jonathan Hurley

  “Anything good on?”

  “They ended up catching an enemy of the state a few towns from here. It’s never here. The guy worked in a kiosk and he just went crazy and hurt some people in the Mall. Maybe we need another gate. A crazy person like that might be able to get in here. You can never be too safe,” said Sarah.

  “Right. Yeah it’s scary. What else is on?”

  “There’s a movie with Braden Pinn. It’s an old one where he’s a bank robber and he’s on the run from the law.”

  “Right. I think I saw this one a long time ago. I like Braden Pinn.”

  “He’s so sexy,” said Sarah. He looked at his husky plain looking girlfriend focused on the television and seemingly aware of nothing else in the world.

  “Right.”

  Michael went into the kitchen and micro waved a frozen pre-made meal. Life is good because you can get all of your favorites from the food court or the drive through right in your freezer at home. He sat down next to his girlfriend and ate his chicken in tangy corn syrup maple-pepper glaze. Soon enough Sarah was snoring. This was the end of her time off and tomorrow she had to go back to work at her kiosk in the Mall. He woke her up so she could stagger to the bedroom where the alarm was. He started to drift off watching the movie. The adventure was intoxicating and it was such a relief to have fantasies about being a bank robber on the run and not have to face the reality of day-to-day life. The reality was that he wasn’t going to find romance out on the open road. The romance was here with Sarah. Maybe Sarah was a little overweight and didn’t look like a movie star. He knew he shouldn’t care because that’s what real women looked like. He didn’t look like a movie star. Maybe he was over weight and not that good looking. Everyone was like this, that’s what makes the television so great. He needed it. He wanted to be Braden Pinn and to be out there. He didn’t want to think about going to work tomorrow. He was just starting to drift off when he started to wonder why in the movies, a movie star could break the law and the people rooted for them. When it happened in real life, the world needed to know that they were punished or even killed. It was a scary world out there. Sleep and the sound of television washed over him. He was murmuring as he drifted to another place…. “It will get better, it will get better.”

  It’s hard to imagine that I used to love my apartment. I couldn’t love it now. That was another time with someone else’s feelings. I used to love the movies. I loved the celebrities and I hated the news. Now, the news just seems like a childish fantasy used to subjugate a frightened docile public. Sarah and I were so scared. I loved her but that was another time and I was another person. I wanted to be one of those movie stars so bad that it hurt sometimes sitting there in my couch being transported to far away places having adventures only to end having to go right back to work. It was always back to my life. In the end there was only the Mall. Sarah loved going to the Mall in her spare time. It was just like when she was a young girl and she went to the Mall with her parents. It was also just like when she was in high school and would go to the Mall in her free time. I was there to, everyone was. We met and fell in love at the Mall. I just assumed that we would get married there and all of our friends from high school could go to the wedding… it could have been perfect, it could have worked.

  Will they miss me when I’m not there? Will I just be replaced with another unit? There was nothing unique about my life or me. So why couldn’t all the holes created by my absence be filled by another? It’s so clear to me now looking back that we all just played different roles just like a movie. One day it just seemed like all people had to say was what they were programmed to. It had probably been that way for ages but it became clear to me one day. Sometimes now I think about why I am conscious when the rest are not. It was as if I realized that I might be in a program that someone else was watching. Thoughts like that make it difficult to digest the usually easy digestible content on the evening television. How did I ever go along with that prepackaged sentiment? How could I connect with those that still did? And worse still, what was behind it? I have few answers. In many ways, it seems that I’m no further along now than I ever have been.

  Sarah was never going to be able to come along with me on my developments. It was just a matter of time until all we had were memories of things that were no longer important to me. Nostalgia, talking about the old times and topical concerns of the day were no longer enough to sustain my… restlessness. When we watched TV, Sarah would ask me if I wanted to be a hero or a villain. I never really had an answer for that and she thought I was crazy. The movies always had both and the big name actors were always one or the other. She used to tell me that everyone wanted to be one or the other and if you didn’t you were just on the side. You were one of the people just watching it happen. It was all really just casual conversation. No one told me this but after a while that’s all you have with someone. It happens subtly, but it happens all the same. One day all is reduced to the bills that need to be paid and what’s on sale that week. Life was hard and the simple pleasures that are there to take your mind off if it all were no longer working. There are no simple pleasures to take me away now. There is only my goal and the certain death chasing me down this road. Fantasy is a luxury.

  Chapter 2

  It was always a little unsettling for Michael when he woke up on the couch. Sarah was off to work for the day. He hadn’t heard her at all in the early morning. He was having vivid dreams but she must have been like a ghost to not wake him. It didn’t really matter, as he’d see her for lunch anyhow. It wouldn’t be to long until he would just have to get ready and go to work again. The thought of that was enough to put him right back asleep on the couch but he got up and went about the normal routine of things that people do in the morning. He still had a few hours before he had to be at work and there were plenty of the standard devices there to take his mind off of the passing time. There were video games and music players and computers, television and good old-fashioned hard copy celebrity magazines. Lately though, none of these were giving him what he wanted. Michael had always valued alone time but like most people he was eager to fill it up with something after a short while. Today, he just sat and waited the time out. If people knew about this, they would think he was starting to go insane. He thought about his bills and his dead end job. He thought about the tense discussion that he and Sarah would no doubt get into about their finances and their future. He thought about is mother and he fantasized about leaving and having his own adventures far, far away. But where was there to go? He decided that he would take a different way to work today to channel some of his restlessness. It didn’t matter in the long run though as all roads lead to the Mall.

  Arriving at work and knowing that you had to settle into it was always difficult. Everyone felt this way. It was a popular topic of prime time situation comedies and hit movies. It was always good to see a movie star that was pretending to do the things that ordinary people would be doing and complaining about. Michael was well aware that the difference was that he would stay in his ordinary life when the movie was over. The beginning of the shift always started with a team meeting to discuss the tasks of the day. Often, if there wasn’t vomit being projected around the food court, there wasn’t really much to do and the team got to be on standby. Sometimes there was enough down time for Michael to get all the way down to the other end of the Mall to see Sarah. Her kiosk which sold vitamin-enhanced water and glitter sunglasses was very far away as the Mall was seemingly never ending. If he couldn’t get to see her on a slow day at least he could see one of the new stores that were opening up. That’s what most of his coworkers did…anything to occupy the hours going by. An added bonus to doing that was that you could go to the store on your off days. Lately Michael didn’t really care what the new store was or what they were selling. It all started to seem the same to him. It was best not tell to many people about his feelings.

  “We’re getting ready for the upcoming weekend rush so we’re in a standby
holding pattern. You’ll go out in groups of two and patrol your designated areas. We keep the machine moving to keep customers happy. If you see anything of the machine not working, you’re job is to fix the situation even if it’s puddle of piss on the floor. Everyone got it? Otherwise, keep your radios on,” said Thom. Everyone really knew that translated to dick around all day. Michael and Quinn were assigned to the Northwest corridor of the Mall. They patrolled around with the older people there getting their exercise in before the after school and after work crowds came. Since all of the old people came at the same time it just as crowded as any other time. People often thought they could trick the system but they’re just lying to themselves.

  “All pear scented cocoa butter soaps are half price today at the Soap Emporium located on level two.” Elderly consumers were sure to take note of that sale. “Buy one get one free, organic gluten free soy and flax dog chews at Dog Day Afternoon.” It was good to be a pet owner in North Atrophy that day.

  “Hey man my dog loves those treats. Why don’t you and Sarah get a dog?”

  “You know what man,” said Michael. “There is always a sale. Did you ever think about that? I don’t know I just wouldn’t want to keep a dog all kept up in a box. I wouldn’t want to do that to an animal.”

  “You’re an animal and you’re in a box. It’s not that bad,” said Quinn. “Are we going to have one of these… it’s always a holiday talks. You know how much I look forward to that. Does your brother spend most of his time in the land of complaining or it is just you?”

  “I don’t know, you’d have to ask him. I’m not complaining by the way. You never even think about these things? You’re telling me that you’re happy with your dog and going to work everyday hoping that there are less vomit outbursts than the day before?”

  “Hey man, I’ve been hearing you complain about things since you were a kid and you felt like you got a bad deal. I’m not saying that you didn’t get a bad deal… but I never heard your brother complain about it.”

  “Well… I’m broke, I can’t afford fancy dog treats,”

  “Fuck that man, I’m broke to. It didn’t stop me from getting a dog,” said Quinn.

  “Do you have bad credit or no credit at all? Don’t let that discourage you from visiting one of the stress-free-banking credit card kiosks located in the southeast entrance. Don’t delay, act now as this promotion is limited time offer.”

  “Hey are you going to sign up for that credit card?” asked Michael.

  “Yeah, I’ll probably get that one. It’s got a great interested rate for the first year. You know I just got a new big screen TV with great A.P.R, but it’s always good to have more ways to pay the bills. More is better.”

  “Yeah,” said Michael unconvincingly.

  “You should get that credit card yourself. Sarah’s pregnant you know.”

  “What?”

  “No, I’m just fucking with you man. You should probably wait to get another one until you do finally knock her up.”

  “I don’t think there will be a little Mr. Christianson anytime soon. We watch the news and it just seems awful out there.”

  “It’s not the good old days like when we were kids,” said Quinn.

  “Was it great when we were younger?” asked Michael.

  “I guess it was but you probably don’t think so. I guess that with your dad dying, it wasn’t better for you. But you don’t seem to like right now so much so I don’t know, maybe it all cancels out for you. My folks say it was better when they were younger and that’s what my grandparents said too. I think it was safer back then. I think there were less crazy people around,” said Quinn.

  “Well, what about people that didn’t have a good childhood? Maybe it wasn’t so great when we were younger. I’m just saying that we automatically say things were better back then.”

  “Is your brother as morose as you are? You always drag things into sad and shitty land.” “ Hey, I’m just trying to let you know why there isn’t a little Mr. Christianson running around.”

  “I thought it was because of money,” said Quinn.

  “It’s because of a lot of things. Life is just too much some times,” Michael said vaguely

  “ Didn’t we just go over this? More is better,” said Quinn. As they were meandering through the seemingly maze of stores Michael was called back to the office. That was rarely good.

  “I keep getting complaints from a certain store manager about a certain employee of mine that gives him a hard time every time he needs something taken care of,” said Thom. “Well to be fair that guy is kind of a prick. Besides, I saw him yesterday and picked the puke that you asked me to. There should be no problem.”

  “He’s complaining about a sign that’s on the fritz and he has a suspicion that you might have something to do with it since you fixed it last,” said Thom.

  “Things break sometimes, it’s no one fault in particular.”

  “ Well you’re going to fix the sign and I don’t want to have this conversation again. I think that we’ve had it a bit too much. I’m tired of it now and I was tired of it a long time ago. We’ve not here to have our own private melodramas, we’re here to keep the machine moving… go fix his sign.”

  Michael couldn’t afford to lose his job. He always ended up doing what he was told. For whatever reason, on his way over to the store, he was tuned into the muzak that was being pumped out on the speakers. It reminded him of some music that he heard when he was a kid. Someone told him once that the music they played was all redone versions of old songs and that’s why it seemed familiar. Before he got to the high end computer store walking in the hallway surrounded by blinking lights and the droves of people he felt just for a moment what it was like to be a child listening to a song. The feeling was fleeting and soon enough. The Mall muzak was all there was.

  When he arrived at the store, there were two problems waiting for him. One was the obnoxiously blinking neon sign of the computer store and the other was the manager standing next to the security officer. “ Hey, I think your sign is broken,” said Michael. “Mr. Christianson, it appears that we need to have another discussion about your behavior,” said the security officer.

  “If something breaks you can’t just look to blame the guy who’s job it is to fix it,” said Michael.

  “I want you to keep that in mind when we have these little encounters Mr. Christianson. I’m not the bad guy when I’m dong my job and it is my job to keep order. I’m here to fix the pieces that don’t work. Your attitude doesn’t work. You will assimilate one way or the other. You have to decide how much unwarranted pain you’re going to cause before that happens.”

  “Hey, I’m just going to fix this sign and go about my merry way.”

  “Understand, Mr. Christianson that as always, I’m clued into what you’re doing.” While this exchange went on the manager of the computer store was smugly smiling at Michael. It was a subtle smile that was pouring salt into the increasing wound that Michael was feeling.

  “You know you don’t sound like an optimistic person,” said Michael to the security officer.

  “Understand Mr. Christianson that there are consequences to antagonizing me. I’m here right now because of you’re past behavior. If something goes wrong I’m going to look to you. Mr. Christianson, I’m very optimistic that this will keep you in line. Please fix in his sign. If I find out that it’s you who broke it or other Mall property, then I’m going to come after you and I’m not going to stop. Do you understand me?”

  “I’ve got it, don’t worry something will probably break again at some point and you can blame me for that to.”

  “ See you soon,” said The Security Officer.

  The storeowner kept an eye on Michael when he over to the broken sign. Michael was as used to the feeling of being scrutinized as anyone, but he never tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. The sign was an easy fix. He was just thinking about how such a trivial thing caused so much unnecessary trouble when heard
a very loud “Blorch” and “Splat” behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to see it. He could already smell the corn syrup glazed chicken on the floor. He could even hear the mother comforting her two sick boys.

  “It’s alright honey, they have someone here that will clean it up.” The family couldn’t stop for very long. After all, there was shopping to be done. The store manager was still looking at Michael. The muzak filled the air through it all.

  “I hate this fucking computer store!”

  The mid shift lunch break was the only thing that got Michael through some days. “Baby, you always get the same thing. Why don’t you try that new teriyaki chicken on a stick place? I went there last week, it was amazing,” said Sarah.

  “It all seems kind of the same to me so I might as well get the same thing.”

  “What are you talking about? There’s, like, two hundred different places to eat. There’s almost too much, I want to get it all but there’s just so much.

  “Well, I know that’s true, but there’s always a place that’s closing down and a new something or other going in. There’s always more and more,” said Michael who thought himself very clever as he peered over the enormous coliseum that was the food court. His mind was wondering briefly on the thought of the seemingly ever-changing food landscape that somehow always tasted the same. It was short lived, as his thoughts would eventually settle in to familiar territory. He was looking at his partner in life with increasing scrutiny. The condescending thoughts that he had towards her were apparent in his eyes as he watched her eat her deep fried cheddar cheese flavored pork wads. She was bulging out of her work uniform, which consisted of khaki’s and a collared shirt with the company’s logo on it. Her hair was tied back and she was as plain as she was unassuming. He wasn’t really attracted to her. He guessed that routine trumped passion and that was why they were still together doing the same things. She was gulping down the extra large soda that she loved when she started to look at him in an odd way.