Lost in Seattle (The Miss Apple Pants series, #2)

by Charlotte Roth

  “I know.” The sarcasm in her voice was accompanied by a smile in her eyes. “But we’re friends, and friends don’t judge, so it doesn’t really matter what I think, right? It doesn’t really matter what Wade, Roe, or half the nation had to say about it. It’s all good, dear,” she assured me.

  I nodded and looked at Stella again. She was smiling, looking as relived as I felt.

  “See, I never could have any kids on my own and even though I’m all about choice, it was really hard for me to accept abortion as an option.” She turned in her seat to face Stella. “I always used to feel so sad and get so mad at those women who would just shoot them out like there was no tomorrow. And then when you realize that someone very close to you had an abortion because it was ‘just not a good time to have a baby right now’ even though that person was married, was financially secure, and even had kids to begin with, well, then I really started having doubts.” She leaned forward and grabbed the teen clinic brochure from the dashboard and started flipping through it. “I almost voted against it, but then I realized that you have to think outside your own little world and certainly far beyond a few women’s bad choices. You have to be able to see the big picture. So technically, I guess I’m in between.” She used the brochure to demonstrate what I believed to be the “in between.”

  “I do believe in a woman’s right to choose over her own sovereign body. Anything else would be a step back to the dark ages where we had no right to vote, no right to choose our own husbands, and yes, women were nothing more than a nice accessory, like a hat. On the other hand, I think that women should be a lot more careful and not use abortion as a means of protection. It is not.” She shifted in her seat and pointed the brochure at me. “I know you used a condom, dear, but I guess nothing is one hundred percent safe, and people should be aware of that before they have sex. Every act has its consequences, sex in particular.” She bent down and grabbed her purse from under her feet. She took out a big Ziploc with nuts and raisins and waved it in the air. “Good source of protein. Especially for you girls.” She turned around in her seat and offered it to Stella.

  “Thanks.” Stella moved forward in her seat and grabbed a handful of prego-protein. “Are you saying you shouldn’t have sex then?”

  “No, that’s not where I’m going with this.” Miss T tossed the bag of nuts into my lap. “Eat up, skinny girl.” She faced Stella again, this time kneeling in her seat. “I think it’s only natural that two people who love each other to have sex. But they should be ready to deal with something like this if it happens. And it does. A lot.” She pointed at me and then at Stella.

  “Point taken,” I mumbled, thinking to myself that even though she was absolutely right, it wasn’t quite fair. Hans and I had used protection. I hadn’t just taken the risk in the name of love. I had done exactly what Mom and Dad have always told me: Never ever use drugs! Always use a condom!

  “We were drunk, and we took a chance,” Stella said, very loud and unexpectedly from the backseat. “I feel so ashamed saying it out loud, but we did. I even lied about it to Miss Dexter earlier today. I guess I didn’t want to sound stupid or like some kind of ... whore.” She paused and looked straight at me in the mirror. “He said he would, um, you know stop before ... um ... you know, but...” She looked away, letting her words trail off.

  “Don’t say that, dear.” Miss T turned and faced Stella again. “Don’t say you are stupid. You trusted him but, well, he’s a teenage boy, I presume, and boys that age can’t really control their bodies, especially not that part,” she said, looking quite amused. “Maybe what you have learned from this is that you can’t trust anyone but yourself; you are the one who should be on top of protection, not some horny little inexperienced boy. It’s all they ever think about, you know, getting laid. A lot.” She turned and looked at me, nodding.

  “Listen to you, Miss T,” I teased, gently nudging her.

  “Well, it’s true. Boys your age are all about getting into the pants of every girl who comes along. Well, at least that’s how it was when I was young, and that’s what I have always tried to explain to my girls at school. Believe me, I have seen a lot of tears and regrets on this particular account. It’s not to be taken lightly.” She flipped down the mirror and started to adjust her hair. “I know, I know. It’s the school teacher talking now. I know.” She turned in her seat for the gazillionth time and looked at Stella. “You’ll be just fine, Stella,” she assured her.

  I could see Stella nodding in the rearview mirror. “Thanks,” she said hesitation evident in her voice, “I really appreciate that. Also for taking the time to drive me home. You really shouldn’t have.” She looked up and made eye contact with me and stifled a smile.

  “Oh yes we should. Right, Miss C?”

  I nodded and turned my eyes to the road. Our exit was up ahead, and I had to make a rather hazardous lane shift. “Sorry, Miss T,” I said, laughing as she bumped her head into my shoulder, “but we almost missed our exit,” I explained, looking at the cars behind me.

  “It’s okay.” She knocked herself on the head. “I’m pretty thickheaded. Literally speaking, that is,” she said with a giggle.

  ABOUT AN HOUR LATER we had made it all the way to a small suburb of Everett, Stella’s point of no return. After a few tries, I finally managed to park the car kinda close to the curb and Stella and I got out and stood on the sidewalk for a while, just looking at random people passing by.

  “Don’t you be a stranger now. If you need us, we’re right here. Right, Ella?” Miss T looked up at us through the half open window and smiled.

  “Yup. Right here,” I echoed as Stella and I walked toward the stairs leading up to her apartment complex. “And I promise, the first thing when I get home: Facebook!” I grabbed the Facebook card from my back pocket and waved it in the air.

  “Cool,” she said, looking down at her feet.

  “What book?” Miss T yelled all the way from the car.

  “Facebook,” I yelled back.

  “What?” she yelled even louder.

  “It’s a long story, Miss T. I’ll fill you in on twenty-first century technology on the way back.” I turned toward Stella and rolled my eyes. “She doesn’t even own a computer or a cell phone.”

  Stella looked in the direction of the car and forced a smile. “Like, how old is she anyway?”

  “No clue. Old! But she sure is something, huh?”

  We both looked at Miss T, waving her scarf at us and smiling. “Bye, bye, black birds,” she yelled.

  “She’s a Beatles fan, too,” I explained.

  “Huh.” Stella waved back without looking at her. “I better,” she said as she started to climb the stairs. Three steps up, she turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Promise to write me?” She glanced down at the Facebook card in my hand.

  “Of course.” I walked up to her and held out my arms. “Come here.” There I was, hugging this girl I’d just met, once again acting like the grown up, even though Miss T sat in the car ten feet away. She stepped down and hugged me. “Tonight?” she whispered behind my back. I assured her I would go straight home and write to her, and then I left her—on the steps. In Everett. Alone.

  AS WE CROSSED THE MAIN street, I looked back at Stella standing on top of the stairs. She looked so incredibly small and fragile standing at the curb, trying to cross the street.

  Even though the little town was crowded with people coming back from work, it looked like she was all alone in the world, and, in a way, I guess she was.

  “Poor thing,” Miss T said as she waved for the last time.

  “You think she’ll be okay?”

  “Yes,” she said without a doubt in her voice. “She has you. That’s a good start.” She smiled and leaned all the way back in her seat. “Now tell me about that eye book.”

  “Facebook,” I said, unable to hold in a laugh. I grabbed my phone lying in my lap. “This is an iPhone. That other thing is called a Facebook.”

  She sh
ook her head. “Dear, oh, dear. Face book, eye phone... A headache! That’s what it’s all giving me; a good old-fashioned headache.” She kicked off her shoes and closed her eyes. “You promise me you’ll tell Abby?” she said, still with her eyes closed.

  “Yes,” I promise, “I just need to find the right time.” As in never, my inner voice was telling me, already making my heart pound faster.

  She nodded and put her tiny feet up on the dashboard. “You find that right time soon. She needs to know. You need her to know.” She turned and looked at me. “And don’t you worry; you’ll do just fine, too.” She closed her eyes again and rubbed her hands together.

  “You cold?”

  “I guess. It’s kinda chilly in here, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t think so, I mean, I don’t know. It’s like my hands are cold, but I kinda feel hot at the same time.” I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and tiny wet curls framed my flushed face. My knuckles had turned white. Maybe the mere thought of telling Mom is bringing back that numb feeling, or maybe I’m having another panic attack?

  “Miss T,” I began, trying to sound calm, “how do you know when, or if, you’re having a panic attack?”

  She looked at me with one eye. “I don’t know. But dear, there’s no need to get all worked up again, right? I know it’s hard for you to tell Abby, but as I told you, you’ll be just fine,” she said, spelling it out.

  I nodded. Maybe she was right. Maybe everything would be all right, eventually; but still, that didn’t calm my nerves in the moment.

  “You will be just fine,” she repeated. She leaned back in her seat again and started to doze off.

  I looked at the road ahead of me and thought about all that had happened since the day before: In less than forty-eight hours, I had gone to Mount Rainer and back; I had learned I was pregnant; I had gone to counseling in Federal Way; gone to Everett and back; and made two hiking slash hugging friends and one pregnant friend. No wonder I was experiencing some kind of mental numbness or panic attack, or both. But either way, Miss T was right; I had to tell Mom ASAP. She had to know.

  I looked at Miss T. She was already sound asleep, snoring loudly, so I turned on the radio and some out-of-tune Jazz music filled the car space all the way home—a nice distraction to the loud snoring, and even louder voices in my head.

  UP

  Miss T was still sound asleep as I gently rolled the car into the garage. “Miss T?” I whispered and turned off the engine. I leaned over and tapped her on her shoulder. After another tap, she sat up straight with her eyes wide open.

  “When?” she said, rubbing her eyes. “When?” She narrowed her eyes and looked at me. Her hair stood straight up in the back and her lipstick had smeared, leaving little red marks all over her right cheek.

  “When what?” I couldn’t help smiling. She looked like she had just got back from a night on the town.

  “When are you going to tell her?” she asked with a tired voice.

  “Oh, that.” Even though I still felt that tightening in my chest, I couldn’t stop smiling. “Tonight. I cross my heart.”

  “You swear?” she said, looking a less little hung-over.

  “I swear.” I nodded.

  “Promise?” She cocked her head to one side.

  Once again, I crossed my heart. “Promise.”

  “Good!” She sat up straight again. “I don’t want to have to call you all the way from Austin and remind you now.” She tapped her fingernails on top of her little purse and smiled.

  “You’re leaving us?”

  “Yes. Don’t you remember I told you the other night?” She raised her eyebrows and nodded. “I’m going to stay with the wicked one and her silly husband, and there’ll be hell about the properties.”

  “The properties?”

  “Yes, the properties,” she said as if it was common knowledge.

  “Oh yeah,” I said, pretending to know what she was talking about; I had absolutely no clue whatsoever. Maybe she had told Mom and included me by default.

  “We own a few properties in the southern part of Texas,” she explained when she saw the look on my face, “and I have decided to donate my part to a third party. I can assure you, it’s not a social call!” She sighed.

  “Oh.” I opened the door and got out.

  “Oh indeed. It’s going be hell. My sister is a very old-fashioned Southern lady who sleeps with money under her mattress. There’s no way in hell she will sell the property. See, property in those parts of the country is more sacred than Jesus Christ almighty himself. But I’m going, and I will try to make her change her mind anyway, against all the odds.” She opened the door and climbed out.

  We locked up the garage and started heading for the house.

  “You really think you can wait a whole week?” Miss T asked.

  “Wait? For you to come back from property heaven?” I stopped walking and turned around and smiled.

  “No, silly. What do you think?”

  “Oh.” She was talking about the letters.

  “Yes. That!” She stopped to turn on the outside light on the garage.

  “I guess.”

  “I’m teasing you. Of course, you can’t. Just promise to fill me in on all the dirty little details when I get back. Especially about Frederick,” she added. She slipped her little gnarled hand in mine as we walked the last few steps up to the front door. “Now, look who’s here,” she peeped and let go of my hand.

  Harvey Keitel was sitting on the doormat, waving its tail from side to side.

  “I know. I know.” Miss T sat down and picked him slash her up. “Mommy was gone for a long time. But I’m back now.” She turned toward me. “Isn’t he just darling?”

  I nodded. “Are you taking her, um, him with you?”

  “Where?” She looked at me all confused.

  “Austin!”

  “Austin?” she asked, still looking at me like I was speaking Russian.

  “The cat!” I explained. “Are you taking Harvey Keitel with you to Austin?”

  Suddenly, she took a few steps back and reached for her mouth. “Oh my,” she gasped, “I must be getting really old. I never gave that a thought.” She shook her head and looked down at Harvey. “He can’t stay here for a week all by himself. Can he? Can a cat do that?”

  “I don’t know.” I looked at Harvey and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know anything about cats. Maybe?”

  She ran her fingers through his shiny black fur. “Oh goodness, I didn’t really think about that. I guess I’m just not used to the whole idea of having a cat. See, I’ve never had any creatures living in my house before. Well, besides Georgie.” She smiled and placed a gentle little kiss on top of Harvey’s furry head.

  “Why don’t you let me take him or her home with me? We’ll take really good care of, um, it.”

  She stopped petting the cat and looked at me. “You would do that for me?”

  “Of course. That’s what BFF’s are for, right?” I looked down at Harvey and smiled.

  She smiled and pulled at his tail. “But your dad hates cats. He told me himself, you know.”

  “Well, so what? Besides it’s not any cat; it’s Harvey freaking Keitel. That must count for something.” I looked down at Miss T and smiled.

  “Oh dear, you sure are an angel. Let me go and get his things and... here.” She handed over Harvey to me and left. It was a lot heavier than I expected and as jumpy as Miss T in a car seat.

  “I guess she should have named you Heavy Keitel.” I looked down at him or her and realized it was the first time I had ever held a cat. “Time for the truth,” I said, imitating Miss T’s pitchy cat voice. “Are you a he or a she?” The cat looked at me, purring away happily. It sure sounded a lot like a girl to me. “I say you’re a girl then.”

  Suddenly the door was yanked open and I almost dropped Harvey on the floor.

  “There’s food in here, an extra bowl and of course all of his favorite toys.” Miss T dumped a big black
plastic bag on the doormat. “Oh my,” she giggled. “I better walk home with you, dear.”

  I nodded. “Okie dokie. Let’s stroll. I’ll take the bag. You take the cat.” I handed over Heavy Keitel and grabbed the bag, which was even heavier than the cat.

  MISS T SLOWED DOWN and looked up at me. “This is quite the adventure, yes? I, you, and Harvey Keitel walking home in the twilight.” She smiled and looked down at Harvey. “I haven’t felt this alive for months.” She stopped walking altogether and took in the evening air. “You know, you and your mother are so very dear to me. I never thought...” She looked up. “Have you ever seen the movie Up?”

  I nodded. At first, I had simply refused to go see it; I was so not happy to be dragged along to go watch a cartoon, of all movies, with my parents, of all people. And I remember thinking, “How old do they think I am?” But I had ended up being totally blown away, and I cried shamelessly loud throughout half the movie. We all had. It was that good, even for a teenage girl, embarrassed to be spotted in public watching a sentimental cartoon. With her parents.

  “I went to see it not long after Georgie passed away, and I just loved it. Remember when he is flipping through the scrapbook she made for him with all the pictures of them going through life together?” She got out her signature handkerchief from her sleeve and wiped her nose.

  I nodded. That was when the shameless crying was at its worst on row three.

  “It made me feel so incredible, sad but it also made me feel so blessed for all the years we did have together, and I don’t even like to fly.” She smiled. “It was one of Georgie’s mottos: cherish and focus on what you have in life and not what you have missed out on. Some serious words on a Monday night, huh?” She wiped her nose and looked up at me with glassy eyes.

  “Oh, Miss T,” I gasped. “How could you even go see a movie like that?” I looked down at her gentle little face and pictured her sitting there all alone in that movie theater and it almost made me sad all over again. How could she even have finished the rest of the movie?