Dreams Collide: Collide Series Book 2

by Kristina Beck

  I’m covered in food and grease and smell like it too, but I plunge backward onto my bed anyway. I’ll wash my sheets tomorrow…when I find time. I’ve been working fifteen-hour days for the last three weeks with a day off here and there. All I do is work. Matt asks me to go out sometimes, but I usually tell him I have to work. I thought it would help me forget her.

  I never knew what a broken heart felt like. It’s like someone’s pressed a block of cement into my chest and walked away. My body feels heavy, like I’m dragging my arms along the ground like an ape. I’m working myself to exhaustion to forget her, but it’s not working. I cook Wiener Schnitzel for a customer; I think of Tina. I see my stash of licorice; I taste her. I smell lavender somewhere; I smell her. She’s all around me, but not physically. When will the craving for her end?

  Barbara’s called me twice today, but I ignored her calls. She keeps checking up on me, and it’s grating on my nerves. She left some messages, so I guess I should see what she wants now. I pull my phone out of my pocket and listen to voicemail with my eyes closed. I hear Barbara’s high-pitched voice telling me to call her back as soon as possible, regardless of the time. I only hear that voice when she’s excited about something.

  I look at the time. One in the morning, which is seven in Germany. She’s always up at the crack of dawn. I dial her number.

  “Gerry!” she squeals in delight.

  I pull the phone away from my ear.

  “It’s about time you called me back.”

  “Sorry. I’m busy running my restaurant, if you don’t remember.”

  “The executive from VOX called me! He apologized for the long delay. VOX has agreed to everything you want!”

  Fuck the show. I don’t even want it anymore.

  “He wants to call you this week, sooner than later, to discuss the contract and timelines, and so on. He should’ve sent you and your lawyer an email with the contract to review. Did you check your email today?”

  “No. I haven’t had the time.”

  “Isn’t this great? It’s time for a big comeback. Just when we finally gave up and assumed VOX backed out, I get a phone call. This is what you need to get out of the funk you’re in.”

  I roll off the bed and walk over to my desk like a zombie.

  “Gerry? Are you there?”

  “Yes. I’m opening my email. This is a lot to take in right now, so be patient,” I say as I check my inbox.

  “I received it, but I’ll read it when we get off the phone.”

  “No problem. I’m assuming early in the morning your time is the best time for you to speak to him. I’ll see what I can do. Make sure you’re available and you talk to your lawyer!”

  “Thanks for sticking with me again, Barbara. I know I’m worse than I was after the food critic incident.”

  “A broken heart is never easy to get over.”

  I huff. Especially when it’s self-inflicted.

  “Cheer up—things are about to change for you. I’m so excited for you!”

  “You drive me nuts half the time, but you can always make me laugh. I think you’re more excited than I am.” I chuckle for the first time since Tina left.

  “Well, someone has to be excited about this until you snap out of your depression. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  My apartment is silent as I stare at the open email. I can’t believe what I’m reading. It’s exactly what I asked for. I’ll be the producer and director. Skimming through it further, I freeze. Start date is right after the holidays. The holidays I thought I was going to spend with Tina this year.

  The farther away I am, the better. I’ll make it work.

  Chapter 48

  Gerry

  How much makeup do I need to wear for this? I didn’t think I was that ugly. We’re just about to shoot the first show, but I’m not excited. I hate it here. I’ve become a great actor. Hiding my emotions gets easier every day. I thought the distance and time was the solution to forgetting her. Wrong again.

  Matt assures me she’s doing well in Long Beach and has made friends. I didn’t ask if any of them are guys. I’m surrounded by a lot of women every day in the studio, but I’ve no interest in anyone else. No one will ever replace her.

  Then why am I here? I’m miserable in Germany. This show is what I thought I wanted, but it’s proving me wrong. It’s amazing how my dreams have changed as I’ve gotten older, from the different paths I’ve taken. Nothing seems to matter without her.

  She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I felt I could fight the world with her by my side. Now I don’t care about anything. There are days when I wonder why I’m even here. I should be in California with her, where I belong. Hip to hip, no matter where we end up. I can be a chef anywhere.

  “Gerry, ready to go? We did several test runs, and they went brilliantly.”

  Whatever.

  “Here’s your blindfold. Please put it on securely, like we’ve practiced.”

  I should just take this blindfold and throw it at the moderator and tell her to shove it up her ass. My entire being tells me to walk out and get on the first plane to California. I can’t do this anymore. Tina’s a part of me, and I need her with me. I don’t care where we are.

  “Three, two, one. Blindfold on.”

  I hate blindfolds now. I hear the click of the spoon on the plate. Walk out. Go to her and beg her to take you back. Every second I waste will bury me even deeper.

  “Gerry. The first spoon has been placed in front of you. Please take your time and enjoy your surprise.”

  Surprise? What does she mean? That wasn’t the wording we used during the rehearsals or tests. I don’t give a shit.

  My hand connects with the spoon. Per the rules, I should smell it.

  I don’t react right away, so the moderator clears her throat. “Don’t you have an appetite?” she says as the audience laughs.

  I fake a smile and smell it. Huh? I shove the spoon in my mouth, knowing something’s up. I cough instantly and spit it back out. I drop the spoon onto the table. Is this some sick joke? The first course is licorice?

  Tina.

  The air leaves my lungs. I rip off the blindfold and see the most remarkable woman smiling at me. Her eyes shimmer. I leap over the counter and squeeze her in my arms.

  “You’re here. I can’t believe it.” I kiss her senseless in front of all the camera crew and audience.

  I pull away. “The cameras aren’t running, are they?” I say to the lead camera man. He shakes his head.

  I kiss her again. Our teeth hit this time. “Why? How are you here? What about your job?” My lips are on hers again.

  She puts space between us while laughing and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’ll tell you if you stop kissing me.”

  “I’ll stop, but I’m never leaving your side again.”

  Now she’s kissing me. The audience in the background claps.

  She pulls away for some air. “Your mom and Barbara helped me.”

  I chuckle. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  “Long Beach wasn’t what I expected. I’m not the same as I was when I was a teenager. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough to settle there, but my heart wasn’t in it. My dreams have changed, but I didn’t know it until I landed in California.

  “I tried to call you but heard you’d moved back here. It ripped out the little piece of my heart that was left. I broke down and called Matt. He told me everything. No one has ever risked their own happiness for the sake of mine. I know I needed to do it alone, but I had to give you up to do that. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I broke us. It was all my fault, not yours. Everyone says it’s my time and I should do what I want. So I asked myself what I truly want, and look—I ended up here. Being here with you is what I want.”

  I cup her cheeks with my hands. “I’ve never stopped loving you. I wanted you to be happy. I ended up back here to escape in hopes this show would help me survive without you.”

  She places her hands on my chest. “Did it?�
��

  “No. Right before they put that spoon in front of me, I was telling myself to leave and go to you. Just like you, my dreams are different now. They became nothing without you in them.”

  “And what are they now?” Her eyes dip to my lips.

  “You’re the dream I never knew I had. You make everything sweeter, funnier, and more exciting. I want to sneak you off to all the places you want to go and experience them with you…as your husband.”

  She covers her mouth with her shaking hand.

  “I promise we’ll never be apart again. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. Marry me. Please.”

  “Yes, yes, yes.” She jumps into my arms. “I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together. And we don’t have to give up our professions. We can do them anywhere in the world. Where you go, I go. What do you say?”

  “Anywhere in the world sounds good to me…future Mrs. Maier.”

  Acknowledgments

  Where do I even begin? This is my second book, and I have learned so much since I released my first book of the Collide series, Lives Collide.

  I want to thank my husband and kids with big hugs and kisses. They have been so supportive and proud of me. The excitement that radiates off them pushes me to keep writing and to stay sane. I love you more than words can express.

  I didn’t use beta readers with Lives Collide. After it was released, I read how important they were, so I made sure I used them this time. To my beta readers, your honest feedback was priceless and helped me make my story stronger. Trish Walker, Silke Law, Jennifer Kreider, and Vicki Motz, thank you, thank you, thank you.

  And of course, to my editor, Dori Harrell from Breakout Editing, and proofreader, Rachel Overton from Wordscapes. I loved working with you both again and have learned even more from this experience. I appreciate how patient and detail oriented you were. Your constant enthusiasm for my books pushes me away from self-doubt. Thank you!

  I love the book cover design process. Thank you, Sarah Hansen from Okay Creations, for designing another unique cover for my Collide series. You always seem to know what I want before I do. I’m already looking forward to designing the third and final book cover to this series. Ideas for that book are already spinning in my head.

  Thank you, Rik Hall from Wild Seas Formatting. You’ve been so easy to work with. Even with stressful timelines, I could always count on you. Thank you for making the formatting process as easy as possible.

  Many thanks to Cathie Larocca for helping me with the ins and outs of Hoboken and public transportation routes to New York City.

  I had the pleasure to interview a German chef, Matthais Dahlinger, regarding the entire process of receiving a star and also giving it back. It was extremely fun and informative. I would also like to thank Annette Senn for introducing me to him. She is the Leiterin Stabsstelle Breisach-Touristik. She’s a great friend and helped me gather touristic information within the wine region where I live in Germany.

  I have met several wonderful people within the book community. They range from authors, bloggers, editors, and readers. Saying thank you doesn’t describe how much I appreciate every compliment, word of advice, laughter, and encouragement. Thanks for taking a chance on a new indie author. You’re the best.

  If you are curious if Alexa finally finds her match, please follow me on my website or social media for updates on the next book in the Collide series.

  www.kristinabeck.com

  Facebook

  Twitter

  Instagram

  GoodReads

  Amazon

  Readers Review Room

  Other books by Kristina Beck

  Collide Series

  Lives Collide

  About the Author

  A Jersey girl herself, Kristina was born and raised in New Jersey, USA, for thirty years. She later moved to Germany and has lived there for over thirteen years with her German husband and three children. She lives in the farthest southwest tip of Germany, surrounded by beautiful vineyards and a perfect view of the Black Forest. She is an avid reader of different genres, but romance always takes precedence. She loves coffee, dark chocolate, power naps, and ’80s movies. Her hobbies include writing, reading, fitness, wine tasting, and forever trying to improve her German-language skills.