“Hello.”
“Hello, Mrs. Rawlings, this is Pearson Amberry. Sophie’s friend.”
“Hmmm, what can I do for you, Pearson,” she replies curtly.
“I thought I’d call to let you know that Soph was taken to hospital last night because she was attacked.”
“And how exactly was Sophie attacked?” she asks like she’s asking about the weather.
“She left a bar and was walking to find a taxi when she was grabbed by a man, we don’t know who.”
“Well, she will hang around in bars with untoward men.” She’s so cold I want to throat punch her.
“I assumed you would want to know. I mean she’s okay now, but she hurt her head pretty badly and she was concussed. They kept her in overnight,” my voice is getting louder and I can see people around me are starting to stare.
“It’s not like she died, Pearson. If that’d been the case, I would’ve been told first, no doubt.”
What a bitch!
“Well, now you know. I’ll make sure to let Soph know that you don’t give a shit then?”
“Well, now Pearson, there’s no need to behave in such a vulgar way. I’m unsure what you want from me? It seems like everything is in hand.”
I take a deep breath, it was either that or scream, and I didn’t think the tiny granny with her Zimmer frame walking past me right now would appreciate me screaming.
“I’ll tell Soph... I’ll tell her that she has me… always. I’m going to go and see my best friend now.” I don’t give her a chance to reply. I press the end call button and place my phone on silent and in my bag. Not that I’m at all concerned that she’ll call back. I learnt a long time ago that the women is heartless.
When I arrive at the ward, Soph is sitting up in bed staring out the window. “Hey girl.” She whips her head around and beams at me. “Pea, I’m so glad to see you. Help me escape?” She laughs.
I walk over and hug her, closing my eyes so grateful that she really is okay.
“The doctor said I’m good to go, so let’s go,” she says just as Dane walks around the corner.
He walks over and gives her a hug. She’s looking at me and I raise my eyebrow at her wondering what the hell has happened between them. She gives me a watery smile.
“Dane, she’s good to go. We can leave already,” I say to his back.
He pulls back and holds her at arm’s length and just stares at her.
“No going out with pricks anymore or leaving any place on your own at night. Period.”
“Don’t worry Dane, I’m not intending to date for a very long time. Like so long that my foo foo may get cobwebs,” she states and laughs.
Dane looks unamused which makes me laugh and add through the laughter, “Don’t worry Soph, I won’t let you get cobwebs. I’ll introduce you to rampant rabbit.”
She smiles and adds, “I’ve never needed him before, this will be a brand new experience for me,” she’s still joking, but I can see past her smile, she’s dealing, but only just. I’m going to need some serious time with her.
“Come on, funny girl, let’s get you home.” I gently tug her arm.
We all walk down to the car after Soph says goodbye to the nurses and Dane grabs her stuff. I brought some of my clothes with me so she didn’t have to try and wear her ripped dress home. Everything from last night is in a bag that Dane is holding. I’m pretty sure Soph will set the bag on fire with everything in it later. We get in the car and I slide in the back. Soph looks perplexed and then smiles at me.
“You’re doing better, Pea,” she says softly.
“I am. I’m bringing myself back.” She leans in, squeezes my hand and smiles, then she slides into the front and I’m amazed, yet again, at my friend who notices so much even when she’s been through hell. We drive back to my place and head inside.
“I’ll go make coffee,” Dane says and wanders away before I have a chance to tell him I want a tea.
“Pea, I have to get back home soon,” Soph murmurs.
This is it.
The moment that I’ve been building up to. I know she’s going to shout and argue, but I just have to dig my heels in and tell her for once, that it’s my way and she has no choice but to get on board. And I need to do that without upsetting her more.
Her mum made her life hell when she was younger, blaming her for things that were never her fault. Then, of course, she was never a good enough daughter. She wasn’t intelligent enough, she wasn’t groomed enough, and she didn’t speak posh enough. Soph tried when we were little to make her mum proud or even happy. I watched her do it for years, clinging to the hope that her mum would throw her even a scrap of attention and act like she cared. She didn’t even hope for love. Imagine that a seven-year-old child knew better than to expect love from her own mother. It still hurts, and it wasn’t even me it happened to. Then there was the major blow when Soph was nine and her mum started blaming her for the death of her father. Shit! That woman needed karma to bite her in the arse.
“Soph, come sit down with me sweets,” I say and nod to the sofa. We sit and face each other, like always, ready for a chat.
I grab her hand. “Soph, I hope you don’t get angry,” she tenses at my words but stays silent watching intently. “I’ve made a decision. It’s a decision on your behalf. I think it’s for the best and I know you probably won’t agree with me, but you have to understand where I’m coming from with this. Just bear with me and let me get this out...” I pause looking at her for a moment then continue, “For years I grew up watching you go unloved by your awful mother.” She flinches, but stays quiet. “I watched you trying to gain her love, trying to make her proud of you, trying to make her happy, and when nothing made a difference you tried your best to keep out of her way so she could have the ‘peace and quiet’ she always demanded from you. I watched you once when we were ten, do you remember? We’d been picked to star in the school nativity, you as Mary and me as the North Star.” She nods and a tear slides down her cheek. “I remember you standing there and bouncing up and down. You were sure she’d finally be proud of you. You were so excited, desperate to get home and tell your mum. I remember the look of wonderment on your face as you told her all about it.” I stop and catch my own breath to stop from crying. “I stood next to you when you told her, and watched your little ten-year-old face crumble when she told you, ‘she thought Mary had brown hair, and that they probably should’ve picked someone who could speak more clearly, and that Diane Taylor’s daughter Josie, would’ve probably been better choice for the part,’ and then to add insult to injury she told you, ‘she wouldn’t be able to make the nativity as she had a charity event.’ Her bloody excuse for everything that woman.”
Soph is silently crying now, the tears flowing freely. “She didn’t deserve you then, she doesn’t deserve you now either. When we were younger I wanted to save you. I thought if I could just become an X-Man or X-Girl then maybe I could get you away from her. When I was little I thought she was an evil witch. I watched her chip away at you over the years. To be honest, I’m surprised you even became a model, because at one point your self-esteem was so low, Soph… so low. There are so many more stories, you know that and I know that. The point I am trying to make – badly – I will add,” she smiles at me through her snuffles, “is that I couldn’t rescue you before, but now I can. You’re my best friend, my sister and for the time being you’re going to be living with me.”
Her eyes widen and she’s about to say something, but I interrupt her, “No, wait! This is non-negotiable, this is a done deal. I need you here as much as you need to be here. I love you, and that’s all there is to it.” I sit back and cross my arms in a ‘brook no arguments’ pose. The next thing I know she’s flung herself into my arms and is sobbing uncontrollably. I panic at first, but then I wonder if it’s just what she needs? A good cry? Maybe it’s cathartic, maybe this will help her in the healing process? So I just sit and rub her back whispering, “Shhh,” to her.
&
nbsp; Dane comes back in while I’m comforting her and when he sees us his face goes soft and he smiles at me and towards Soph’s back. Then he twists around and heads back to the kitchen obviously wanting to give us some time.
After a few minutes of holding on to each other, Soph pulls away and composes herself.
“Pea, you don’t know what you’ve just done for me. You don’t know how scared I was to go back to my flat. I didn’t know what to do. I know I could always ask you, but I didn’t want to impose, so the fact that you told me this is how it’s going to be has given me such relief you’ll never know,” she stops but holds up her hand to indicate she wants me to wait to speak so she can finish. “You grew up with me. You saw my home life, but you didn’t live it so you’ll never really appreciate how soul destroying my upbringing was. You have to understand I had nobody to share that burden with or to go to when things got really tough. No siblings, no grandparents, nobody… just her. Then I had you and your gran. You tried to be there for me as much as possible. You kept me from becoming another statistic, in more ways than you’ll ever realise. I love you, Pea. You saved me when I was younger and you’ve saved me again today. I’ll always be here for you. You show me what being a family really is. One day I hope to be the kind of person you’ve always been. Kind, loving, trusting, thoughtful, selfless. People have always been drawn to you because you’re just that type of person. Drawing them in without even realising it. And you know what? Every single one of us is lucky to have you touch our lives. I know you haven’t been yourself lately, and you’ve shut yourself away, but I’m so glad that you’re coming back to us.” She hugs me and I feel a tear slip down my cheek, but it’s from happiness, to know that I have always given that to my friend, my sister.
A few minutes later and Soph goes to the bathroom to clean up and I wander into the kitchen to let Dane know it’s safe to return. He walks across and throws his arms around me and holds on for a few seconds.
“She’s right you know, you are all those things and so much more. I think you’re finally starting to realise it.”
I look up at him. “I’m not sure I’ve been the best friend I could’ve been, but I intend to change that starting today,” I tell him.
“Pea, I think by the sounds of it, you’ve been a better friend than you realise throughout the years. These people wouldn’t stay close to you, protective of you, making allowances for you if you weren’t worth it. And now? Now you’re taking the control back.” I look at him speculatively. “Yes, you are,” he chides, “and you’re doing what you need to do for your friend.” He gazes down at me. “You’re special, Pea, and I’m so glad you allowed me into your life to experience that for myself.” I’m not sure where he’s going with all this, but then Soph wanders in.
“So Dane, it seems I’m moving in here with Pea. Any idea where I can find a big strong man to help move all my things?” She winks at him.
He smiles at her. “How about we go to your place and collect what you need now, and then next weekend we’ll get everything else and you can cancel your lease?”
Soph looks at me with a question in her eyes and I just nod and look at Dane.
“That sounds perfect. Let’s get going now so we can get back and I can get the dinner on.”
The day slips away quickly and that night after Dane has gone home, Soph and I are sitting on the sofa watching bad Sunday night television. I look at Soph as she receives a text and frowns at the phone.
“What’s up?” I ask worried at her facial expression.
“I… it’s… it’s a text from Wes.” She has a look on her face like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I snatch the phone from her and fire a text off.
Soph: Don’t text me again arsehole!
I hold onto the phone and don’t give it back, expecting a reply.
Wes: What the fuck bitch! Glad I dumped ur ass, plenty of pussy for me anyway.
I forward the texts onto Dane.
Soph: Dane this is Pea. I’ve just forwarded you texts that Soph’s just received from that prick Wes, and my replies. I took her phone away from her and I’m now going to delete the texts and block his number, just thought you might want to know, seeing as you know this guy.
I get a text back immediately.
Dane: I’m on it. See. A good friend.
I smile and delete all the texts then give Soph her phone back.
“Don’t worry, Soph, they’re not all arseholes. Someone special will come along,” I try to reassure her, but she sits there shaking her head.
“I’m done, Pea. I can’t go through that again, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to. I’m staying away from men.” She gets up and walks to the kitchen and I follow.
“So, no more men?” I ask and Soph shakes her head.
“I just… I,” she stops talking and looks down at her feet. I can’t see her face, but I see her tears splash and scatter on the floor. “I can’t,” her voice breaks on a sob and I rush over and grab her, pulling her close to me. I kiss the top of her head, I want to wrap her up and fight off the bad shit, the demons.
“How about a bubble bath?” I suggest knowing she loves them. She nods her head and I tell her to go get herself ready and I’ll run it. Once it’s done and she gets in, I walk into my bedroom and put on my PJ’s. I can hear her talking in the bath, she must be on the phone, then a word catches my attention, ‘Con.’ I don’t know what else she says as I don’t stop to eavesdrop, but I’m glad she’s speaking to him, he’ll help her recovery.
I snuggle into the sofa with my fleece blanket over me and a cuppa. I can feel myself drifting away when my phone alerts me to a text.
Con: You did good precious. I’m proud of you. Sweet dreams.
I smile and feel warmth rush through my body.
Me: Thank you, Con. Sleep tight.
We have three weeks of peace. Soph is settling in, and I’m getting used to having someone around the place again. I’ve carried on with my usual day-to-day life and found that Soph and I fit around each other nicely. She’s gone back to work, opting to keep busy once her face had cleared up and she seems happy… content. However, she hasn’t been going out like she usually would, and I don’t think that’s coincidental.
It’s Wednesday morning a few weeks later when I start feeling like I’m making a real difference to my life. As I walk into the hospital today, I feel a sense of relief like I’ve finally let myself be free. I take the lift to floor three, say a quick hello to Cheryl and make my way into room fourteen, just like I have nearly every week for the last few months.
When I get inside Saul is sitting up in bed. He smiles when he sees me. His hair is slightly longer than it used to be. It always curls around his ears, but now it’s heading for his chin, and he has a scruff. I walk over and hug him. Hold him really tight, like he might disappear.
“Hey Pea, I’ve got some news.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask whilst popping my bag on the floor, throwing my coat on the chair and taking my normal seat on the edge of his bed.
“I’m outta here, in a few days time.” I can see the relief on his face. The same feeling I had a few minutes ago.
“I’m chuffed for you Saul, it’s about bloody time!”
“So now, I want to ask you a favour?”
“Anything Saul.”
“I want you to come get me on Sunday. I want you to take me home.”
His words overwhelm me and I don’t know how to respond to his request.
“Pea?” I can sense his unease now and it makes me feel like shit.
“Sorry Saul, of course, anything you need.” I’m silent for a while.
So long that Saul asks, “Pea?... What is it?”
“Nothing,” I try to sound breezy. I suck at breezy.
“Pea?” his tone is firmer now.
“I just... I assumed you’d want your mum to pick you up. I mean... I guess… I thought she’d want to pick you up?”
“No Pea,” his tone is something else now.
Cold, but it’s not directed at me.
“Urm... okay,” I don’t know what else to say. I’m aware that he has a difficult relationship with his mum. In fact, out of the four of us Con is the only one who actually had a long healthy relationship with his mum, up until she died.
Saul’s mum is wealthy and snobby to go with it. She’s never liked Soph or me, she doesn’t seem to mind Con though. Over the years, she’s tried to get Saul away, to stop him socialising with us. He never listened, even when he was young. That hasn’t changed over the years. She always wanted him to be more and always had big ideas for him. They’ve just never matched his ideas. He wanted to be a photographer, which is exactly what he has become, but his mum wanted him to be a solicitor or architect. Something she could show off to her charity cronies. Apparently a photographer, no matter how well renowned, is not a good enough career path to brag about when she’s with the country club wives, chatting about when they’re playing bridge next.
They’ve always butted heads.
Unfortunately, when Saul ended up in the hospital, he was unconscious. His mum was his next of kin. She put a ban on me visiting as she believed I caused the accident. She also decided that Soph and Con weren’t allowed to visit either. I’ve carried the burden of that decision for a while too. Now, I realise she’s just being a bitch and trying to get her way. However, she can.
When I decided to see if I could get a job at the hospital, it was purely so I could visit Saul without anyone knowing. I would’ve done any job. Luckily, I managed to land this job and as it turns out I really enjoy it. Even more so since they added the visiting the patients as part of my job description. Work feels more like a gift than a job. It’s uplifting for me to chat with the elderly patients and I realise they’ve been helping me in the last few months as much as I thought I was helping them.
Love Reflection (Entwined Hearts #1) Page 13