All Is Fair

by Dee Garretson

  “She wasn’t bothering me. In fact, she was very funny. She’s quite good with imitations too. She does your sister to perfection.”

  “I can’t believe she was imitating my sister!” I wondered how long the visit to Lucas’s room had actually lasted.

  “Why not? Are only ladies of the manor allowed to have a little fun?” His voice had turned very cold.

  I was about to explain that I didn’t want Hannah to get in trouble because Miss Tanner might let her go, but before I could, Lucas turned away from me. He muttered, “I’m going to go get the car.” As he went out the door I almost called after him to stop, but didn’t. He hadn’t even tried to understand, so why should I bother giving him a lesson in the intricacies of how Miss Tanner ran the house? If Miss Tanner fired Hannah, Lucas wouldn’t even notice, but the rest of the household would be left with more work.

  “That’s the last house tour I’ll give,” I said to the empty hall.

  CHAPTER

  ELEVEN

  ANDREW OPENED THE library door and came into the hall. He looked around. “Who are you talking to?”

  “No one,” I said, happy to see Andrew. He would have understood me perfectly. He wouldn’t have called me a “lady of the manor.”

  “Where is Lucas?” he asked. When I had explained about the car, he said, “Good. I don’t have any time to waste.” His voice was strained. “There has been a change of plans. I have to go to London right away and may not be back until tomorrow. I don’t want to leave right now, but it’s important. Will you be all right?”

  “Of course.” I didn’t want Andrew to leave, but I couldn’t say so. I tried not to shudder, feeling the same chill I’d felt in the library. I told myself that it was only one night, and it wasn’t as if we couldn’t manage without him. I’d check all the doors and windows myself, and like Andrew had said, the man was not likely to come back. I smiled at him. “Go. Don’t worry about anything here.”

  “Excellent,” Andrew said. “Will you tell Miss Tanner I’ve gone?”

  “Yes. Is Lucas going too?” I asked.

  “No, he’s to stay here and make himself useful. If I left him at Cranwell by himself, I’ve no doubt he’d spend the day joyriding around in whatever aeroplane he could commandeer. He’ll have less of a chance to get into trouble here.” He gave the faintest of smiles, though it just emphasized how drawn and tired he looked. I hadn’t noticed before how thin he’d become. “Put him in Mrs. Underdown’s play,” he added. “I suspect he is an excellent actor. In fact, I suspect he will become everyone’s favorite and they will all be dancing to his tune. You’ll have to be the one to keep him from getting an inflated head. There is no one better than you for that.”

  “I suppose,” I said. “Though his head is rather inflated already.”

  Andrew took out a cigarette and lit it, his hand shaking. I hated to see the shaking.

  “It feels wrong to be devoting so much time to a silly little play with everything else that is going on,” I said.

  He looked at me for a long time without speaking. Then he surprised me by reaching over and touching my cheek very gently. “Don’t think about that,” he said. “If a moment of happiness is within your grasp, take it. There is nothing wrong with holding on to the last gasps of a dying way of life while you can. If it gives people some comfort or sense of purpose, we shouldn’t judge, no matter how meaningless the act.”

  I was shocked by the bleakness of his words. “Nothing is dying!” I cried. “When the war is over, everything will go back to normal.”

  He sighed. “No, Mina. We’ve come through fire and have the scars to show for it. The whole world has changed. There is no going back. I’m not sure it was even real then. I look at you and think back on those years before the war like they were a lovely dream. At least I have that.”

  I was speechless. I just stood there as he turned and went out the front door, stumbling a little over the threshold as if he were making an extreme effort to put one foot in front of the other.

  I went to the door and watched Andrew speak to Lucas. Lucas got out of the car. Andrew got in and drove away. It felt like a heavy weight had settled upon me. Andrew was right; there was no going back. And I couldn’t avoid thinking about everything I’d seen. The map. The aeroplane lessons. An American who understood a little German. It all fit together—at least what Lucas was going to do. I had no idea why he was going to do it.

  As I stood there, a long row of motorcars and carts came down the drive, led by Mrs. Underdown. She pulled her pony to a stop at the steps and instructed two elderly men in the cart behind her to unload what looked like a throne. “We’re here right on time!” she called to me.

  “It’s going to be quite a day,” I murmured to myself.

  I followed the throne carriers and Mrs. Underdown inside. From all the boxes and trunks that came in after them, I realized that Mrs. Underdown had neglected to tell us she was staging an extravaganza. There was a cast of twenty, along with enough props and set pieces to furnish a London stage, and the Cranwell Orchestra, a group of talented airmen who had put together their own musical group. I held my tongue, remembering what Andrew had said and reminding myself that it was part of the war effort.

  Poor Miss Tanner blanched at the sight of everything piled in the entrance hall and the people coming and going. It was the first time I had ever seen a crack in the woman’s composure. When Mrs. Underdown asked one of the village helpers to haul some boulders into the house to add realism to the brigands’ lair, Miss Tanner pulled herself together. “Mrs. Underdown,” she said, “perhaps some fabric draped over some chairs and other furniture would suffice. Your audience will be sophisticated enough to understand the illusion.”

  After that the housekeeper took over and established order, deciding that the yellow sitting room would be the backstage area. The small parlor off it became the dressing room for the women, while the billiards room was opened up to hold the set pieces when they weren’t needed and to be the men’s dressing room. She also had some of the helpers move anything of value that could be damaged out of all the rooms.

  Mrs. Underdown was in her glory, rushing around trying to do everything at once. “The costumes are quite remarkable for an amateur production,” she told me. “Miss Marshall volunteered to be in charge of them and has worked tirelessly. You’ll wear a man’s suit in the first part, with a sash to indicate you are part of Prince Alfie’s court, but then when your lot pretends to be brigands, you all have pirate costumes. The rector had decided to add an eye patch to his costume, and we thought it quite a good touch. We’ll adjust it so it will fit you.”

  An eye patch? I didn’t mind wearing a silly costume in front of my friends and family, but I was not overjoyed at the idea of appearing before dozens of strangers in one. I saw Lucas off to the side, watching all the commotion. I waved to him and called, “Lucas, could we speak to you?”

  Lucas came over, looking curious. Apparently Andrew hadn’t told him he’d volunteered him to be in the play.

  “Lord Andrew suggested that since Mr. Miller has time, he could play a part,” I said to Mrs. Underdown, not meeting Lucas’s eye. “Perhaps he could take mine.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t want to deprive you of your part,” Mrs. Underdown said. “We lost one of our other brigands because of an ankle sprain. Mr. Miller can take his role, and there are only two lines to learn.”

  “A brigand? Do I get to have a sword?” Lucas asked, grinning. He mimed swishing a sword about.

  “Only a papier-mâché one, but they are very realistic in appearance,” Mrs. Underdown said. “I’m so glad you agreed to participate, Mr. Miller. Lady Thomasina, will you introduce the young man to the curate? He’s in charge of the brigand costumes.” She bustled off.

  “Did I agree?” Lucas asked. He was still grinning.

  “In Mrs. Underdown’s world you did. The curate is right over there.”

  He swished his imaginary sword again. “I’ve always wanted
to be a brigand. Who are you again?”

  “A count and then a brigand too,” I said.

  “Fantastic! We can practice our sword fighting together, unless you already know how. Do young English ladyships learn saber fighting?” He made a stab at the air. “En garde!”

  “No. The sharpest object I’ve ever held is a needle for needlework. I’m terrible at actual embroidery, though I could stab someone with a needle if I had to.”

  “You shall make an excellent brigand, then.” I was happy we were back on good terms, though I couldn’t believe how lighthearted Lucas was. It was as if he could ignore whatever it was that he was preparing for. I didn’t think I’d be able to do that in his place.

  After I introduced Lucas to the curate, I was about to go find my own costume when I noticed a young man in military uniform come through the front door carrying a package. He looked completely bewildered by the sight of a group of women practicing a procession that involved waving bouquets of flowers from side to side.

  I walked over to him. “Can I help you?”

  He gulped and looked everywhere but at me. “I have a package for Captain Graham, miss. Can you point him out to me?”

  Graham was Andrew’s last name. “He’s not here. He’s gone to London. I’ll take it.” I reached for the package, but he clenched it more tightly. “I’m not sure I should, miss. I was supposed to give it to Captain Graham. Nobody said what to do if he wasn’t here.”

  “Lady Thomasina! We’re ready for you,” Mrs. Underdown called.

  I knew soldiers felt like they had to follow their orders, but we couldn’t stand here all day. “I’m Lady Thomasina Tretheway. Lord Andrew—Captain Graham—is a guest here. I’ll make sure he gets it.”

  The young man turned bright red, handed over the package without a word, then backed out the door as fast as he could. The package wasn’t marked with Andrew’s name, or with anything else. I squeezed it. It was soft, like it had cloth or clothing inside it. I wished I knew what it was, but knew it wouldn’t be right to open it.

  However, there was one tiny rip in the wrapping. I held it up to my eye. Definitely fabric, a gray wool like soldiers’ uniforms were made of, except uniforms weren’t gray. They were brown. I decided to put the package in my room until Andrew returned. When I gave it to him, I’d tell him the same thing I’d told Lucas: I’d be able to help them better if I knew more. I carried the package upstairs and put it on the shelf in my wardrobe.

  Back downstairs, rehearsals were in full swing. I had to admit Lucas looked spectacular as a brigand, the rakish clothing more natural to him than buttoned-up formal wear.

  I caught him staring at me, and I could feel my ears turning warm. I thought he was staring because I was wearing trousers, but then I realized he was staring at my eye patch. “Is there something wrong with it?” I asked. “Do I have it on upside down? Is there a right side up with an eye patch?”

  “No, it looks fine. It looks fantastic, in fact.” A wistful look crossed his face.

  I pulled off the eye patch and handed it to him. “Here, you wear it. I’m afraid I’ll fall off the stage if I do.”

  “We wouldn’t want that to happen!” He smiled and put it on, then danced around a bit, waving the sword like he was testing it. I heard him whistling happily under his breath.

  As we ran through the play, I realized it was every bit as daft as it had sounded. My own plays were silly, but this was far sillier. Princess Toto’s memory was so bad, she forgot she had been married within a few hours. She had two princes in love with her for no apparent reason, and she was obsessed with a brigand named Barberini.

  There were so few men that women were playing most of the roles. The play called for a King Portico, but Mrs. Underdown had changed it to Queen Portica and was playing the part herself, and with a flourish. At some point in the play, the queen and her court dressed up as citizens of a recently rediscovered Atlantis, and Mrs. Underdown seemed to particularly enjoy the dance that had been choreographed for the islanders, which consisted of them marching in a circle and raising their hands to the heavens while they sang. Her elaborate headdress made of gold fabric draped over a small lampshade kept falling off during this, but Gwendolyn intervened and adapted it with an extra tie around the chin so it would stay on.

  Gwendolyn threw herself into helping with great enthusiasm. She was willing to do anything, from moving scenery to repairing costumes. The costumes had a tendency to rip from some of the more energetic motions of the brigands—especially Lucas—when they ran about brandishing their flimsy swords with zeal. Hannah was interested too. She kept coming in and out of the hall to watch for a few minutes.

  By the time rehearsal ended, I was as tired as if I had dug up the entire front lawn. There had been squabbles about who stood where, because everyone wanted to be in front. The fourteen-year-old boy who played Prince Doro was too embarrassed to look the married woman playing Princess Toto in the eye while he pleaded with her to marry him. The boy’s voice kept cracking, which only added to his embarrassment.

  Finally, Mrs. Underdown raised her hand and called out, “Your attention, please.” Everyone quieted down. “Thank you. You will make us proud tomorrow.” She launched into instructions for the following day. When she was done I did my part, saying goodbye to each person as they left, though I was getting so hungry I had a hard time concentrating; I was too busy wondering what was for dinner.

  I shut the door after the last person. As I headed upstairs to change, I heard a girl’s laughter from the drawing room. At first I thought it was Gwendolyn, but then I realized it sounded more like Hannah. I was surprised that she would be in the drawing room at that time of day. She should have been in the kitchen or setting the table in the dining room. When I went to look in the drawing room, it was empty, but I spotted Hannah out on the terrace. She was sitting on the wall swinging her feet back and forth. She gave another peal of laughter.

  The door to the terrace was partway open, which explained why I could hear her. She laughed again. “Oh, nobody here knows, but I’m only working as a maid temporarily to save some money. When the war is over, my mother and I are heading back to London. We were in a traveling theater company before the war, and we intend to join one again. I’d like to save enough money to get to America and join a theater company there.”

  I looked out to see Lucas leaning against the wall of the house.

  Lucas said something I couldn’t make out and then Hannah spoke again. “No, we don’t like it here. My mum hates country life as much as me. It’s too dull. And now that I’m older, I’ll be able to play much better parts. If they’d asked me to be in their theatrical, I’d show them the right way to play Princess Toto, but they would never ask a servant.”

  Miss Tanner’s voice came from the hall. “I’m sorry, Lady Margaret, there might be a delay with dinner. The table still needs to be set. I’ll get Hannah to see to it right away.”

  Pushing the terrace door all the way open, I said, “Hannah, you must get inside. You are supposed to be in the dining room.” The words came out more abruptly than I had intended, but I didn’t want Miss Tanner to catch the girl. Hannah nearly fell off the wall. Lucas caught her and stood her on her feet.

  “I’m sorry, miss!” Hannah cried. “I was just taking a little rest. I’ve been up since five o’clock.”

  “If Miss Tanner sees you like this, she won’t be happy,” I said.

  Hannah gave a drawn-out sigh. “You’re right, miss. She’s a sour one, is Miss Tanner.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant,” I said. “I mean, you might think she’s sour, but that’s not the reason why she’d be unhappy. And it’s not a good idea to say she’s sour.” I was getting confused about how to make my point. “Housekeepers get upset if they think people aren’t working when they are supposed to be. You could get in trouble.”

  She gave a little sniffle, looking like she was going to cry. I felt terrible. “I just don’t want you to get sacked,” I add
ed.

  “Yes, miss. I should get back to work.” Before she went inside, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at Lucas. “Thank you, Mr. Lucas.” I noticed that there was no trace of potential tears now.

  Lucas smiled back at her. When she had gone inside, the smile turned into a frown. “She hadn’t been here all that long, and she’s been working hard all day,” he said.

  “It’s not that. You don’t understand—”

  He cut me off. “I understand,” he said as he turned away from me and headed off the terrace into the garden.

  I wanted to stamp my foot, I was so frustrated, but I ground my teeth instead. Hannah was turning out to be trouble, just like Miss Tanner had feared. And Lucas shouldn’t have acted like he did. If Lucas didn’t realize I’d been trying to keep Hannah in Miss Tanner’s good graces, he was foolish. But it didn’t matter. I didn’t really care what he thought of me anyway.

  Lucas said nothing to me at dinner, and I was glad when it was over. I excused myself and went to bed early, which was a mistake, because I woke a few hours later unable to go back to sleep. The next few hours were spent writing an enormously long letter to Dorothy declaring that I had decided never to marry and intended to take up the study of obscure languages and devote my life to the furtherance of human knowledge.

  At some point, I fell asleep in midsentence, and woke to find my head on my desk and a giant blot of ink on the paper. I finished the letter, trying to delay going downstairs until Lucas would be finished with breakfast. I knew I’d have to see him at some point during the day, but I didn’t want to see him alone.

  Eventually, I decided I couldn’t hide in my room any longer. As I opened my door, I heard another door opening. I knew from the particular way the door squeaked that it was Crispin’s room. The secret staircase led to his room.

  “Who’s there?” I called out.

  CHAPTER