All Is Fair

by Dee Garretson

  I looked around. We had landed in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t see a city at all.

  “Where are we?” I asked the captain. “I need to go to Dover.”

  He smiled. “You can’t just land on the streets of Dover. We’re at the nearest airfield, Swingate. The squadron commander back at Cranwell organized a driver for you.” He pointed at the motorcar.

  “Oh.” I hadn’t thought about that. It made me a little worried about what else I might not have thought through.

  A boy got out and came over to us. He didn’t look old enough to drive until he got closer and I could see that he was about my age, with a wispy mustache and uniform trousers that were far too short, as if he’d suddenly grown a few inches. “I believe your passenger is to come with me,” he said to the pilot. “Let me help you down, miss. I’m Sergeant Smyth.”

  “Lady Thomasina, you did fine,” Captain Rigall said. “Some people find their first flight so unsettling, they lose their breakfast. If you ever want to go up again, I’d be delighted to take you.”

  “Thank you, Captain Rigall. We’ll see.” I couldn’t think past the next few hours.

  As we drove into the city, I was shocked to see the bomb damage. I’d known that the shipyard at Dover and Dover Castle were major targets, but I’d had no idea how many bombs had gone astray into cottages and gardens and shops. We passed a group of men in the road repairing a bomb crater.

  The size of the shipyard and the number of men working there overwhelmed me. I’d been to Dover before the war, but the place was unrecognizable now. The sheer number of men in uniform was the most startling. The motorcar careened around several corners, passing by warehouses and workshops. I felt as if I went around each corner a little faster than my stomach did, thinking about how I’d never have expected to find myself wishing to be back up in a nice, smooth aeroplane.

  “Here we are!” the sergeant announced as we screeched to a stop on the pier at the foot of a ship. I didn’t know much about types of ships, but this one towered over us, and it was covered in big guns.

  I got out of the car. “Thank you,” I said. “I don’t think I could have gotten here any faster.”

  Sergeant Smyth grinned and tipped his cap at me, then sped off.

  I took a deep breath and walked up the gangplank. Right before I stepped onto the ship, a man in an officer’s uniform caught sight of me. “Who do you think you are?” he said, crossing his arms and barring my way.

  “Could I speak to the captain? I have to come aboard. I need to give Lucas Miller some information.” I handed the man my note.

  He read it, looked me up and down, and then shouted to a younger officer, “Get that Miller boy up here right away.” He handed me back the note. “I am the captain. I don’t have time for this. You have five minutes to talk to the boy. We’re leaving momentarily.”

  Five minutes? I needed more time than that. I hoped “momentarily” meant a lot longer.

  The captain motioned to a spot on the deck. “Stand there and wait.” I did what he said. “Don’t move,” he added and then walked away, glancing back to give me a final glare.

  While I waited, I looked around at all the activity. Everyone moved quickly and quietly. There was none of the joking that Captain Rigall did. Whatever was happening here was deadly serious. I had been rushing so much that I hadn’t stopped to think about the convoy and where it was going. I knew it was a risk for anyone to be at sea now, with the enemy U-boats patrolling. The German submarines had sunk hundreds of ships since the war began.

  Another motorcar pulled up and a young man in civilian clothes got out. He saluted the officer and called out, “Lieutenant Warnford reporting to Lucas Miller. Permission to come aboard?” Even though the lieutenant was wearing a workman’s clothes, his bearing and his voice just screamed English officer. Dorothy would have deemed him dashing. I hadn’t been able to envision Andrew passing as a German, and this man certainly wouldn’t pass as one either.

  I hadn’t realized the captain had returned until I heard his voice. “Permission granted.”

  I saw Lucas before he saw me. For some reason, he had a green ribbon tied in a bow through one of the buttonholes of a very shabby coat. “I don’t know how you got here or why you came, but you have to go away,” he snapped at me.

  I jumped right into my explanation, “I have to explain the new cipher. There wasn’t time to teach it to someone else who could get to you before you left.” I was bending the truth a little, but I thought he didn’t need to know that.

  The captain came back over to us. “Your five minutes are up. We’re leaving now.”

  I saw sailors below removing the ropes that moored the ship to the dock. I looked out at the ocean and then back at the captain.

  “I need to go with you,” I said to the man.

  He gave one harsh bark that might have been his version of a laugh. “Are you daft, little girl? You aren’t going on this ship.”

  I shoved the paper at the man again. “You have to take me. They need the information I have.” The captain read it and then looked up at me as if he’d like to throw me overboard.

  “You won’t even know I’m here,” I said. “And once we are back in Dover, I’ll get off the ship and you won’t have to bother with me anymore.” I looked over at Lucas. He was stone-faced. I had no idea what he was thinking.

  The captain straightened up and said in a very formal voice. “I must state that I cannot believe I’m expected to take a young girl on a military mission, and I shall make it clear in both my log and my report that I do not agree with this order,” he said. “We have our own vital mission to carry out, one we’ve spent months planning. You can come along because I have no choice, but you are not to interfere in our mission in any way.”

  His voice changed to a more conversational tone. “I have to warn you, none of us are expecting to come back from this. Once we are underway, you can’t change your mind. If the ship goes down, you go down too.” He looked at me, waiting for my reaction. I gulped. Surely the mission couldn’t be that dangerous. He was just trying to scare me so I wouldn’t go.

  “I understand,” I said. My voice came out a little more wobbly than I had intended, but that couldn’t be helped.

  “Suit yourself,” he said, shaking his head. “But stay out of the way,” he continued. “Some of the men are still superstitious enough to think it’s bad luck to have a woman on board, so I’d prefer it if you’d go below to the officers’ mess. They know you are here, but there’s no sense in your being a constant reminder. We have hours to go, in any case. We won’t reach the coast until midnight.”

  He gave one last shake of his head and then stomped off, barking a rebuke at some poor sailor who had the misfortune to be in his way. I stood there waiting for Lucas to say something. A horn sounded.

  Lucas just glowered at me.

  Lieutenant Warnford cleared his throat. “I say, I was briefed on our mission and shown a map and such, but not told about the one involving these ships.” He swept his arm toward the sea at the assortment of ships, including two old ferryboats whose peeling paint identified them as the Daffodil and the Iris. “This is quite a rum collection of ancient vessels. I can’t believe some of them are even seaworthy.”

  “All these ships are going to Zeebrugge and Ostend on the Belgian coast” Lucas said. “Once we are there, some of the ships will be blown up to block the harbors so the German U-boats can’t get out into the open sea. See those old ships? Those are the blocking ships. They are filled with concrete and explosives. When they get into place, the crew is going to scuttle them, blowing them up so they’ll sink right at the mouth of the harbor. All the other ships are along to provide protection and to shell the coast to keep the Germans busy while the ships get into place. It’s going to be very dangerous for all of them.” He looked over at me. His face was tense.

  The lieutenant gave an admiring whistle. “I’d like to meet the chap who thought the plan up.”

 
; I thought the person behind this idea was daft. “So how does this get you into Belgium?” I asked Lucas.

  “When all the commotion starts, we’re taking a small boat to shore. It’s our way in. The idea is that the Germans will be too busy firing at the large ships to even notice our boat.”

  This seemed like the worst plan I had ever heard.

  A soldier hurried by, staring at us. “We should get below,” Lucas said. “You heard the captain. Mina, you’re going to have to stay out of sight.”

  CHAPTER

  SIXTEEN

  LUCAS, THE LIEUTENANT, and I took over a corner of the tiny mess room. We settled ourselves at a cramped table next to the galley, where two cooks were busy at work chopping vegetables and frying onions. In other circumstances, I would have loved to explore the ship, but now was not the time. As the ship moved farther out into the ocean, I began to feel the roll. It added to my already unsettled stomach.

  A gray cat wandered in and jumped up on a nearby ledge, pretending to ignore us as it proceeded to give its face a thorough cleaning. It was the final touch on the unreality of the past day. I knew if I tried to write of all these events to Dorothy, my friend would never believe it. Between Hannah, Prince Albert at the house, the aeroplane ride, the ship, Lucas, the dashing officer, and a cat of all things, it was just too much to have happen in twenty-four hours.

  The ship took a sudden dip and my stomach told me I needed to get up on deck. My stomach didn’t care about superstitious sailors. I didn’t bother to explain. I just bolted up the stairs. Outside, I leaned over the railing and took in big gulps of the cool air. I stayed there for several minutes, ignoring the stares, until I felt steadier.

  When I went back down, the lieutenant seemed a little shaken. The man pulled out a pipe and put it in his mouth, then forgot to light it. “That’s a fine kettle of fish, if I do say so,” he said to Lucas, but he didn’t elaborate. He took a puff and then took the pipe out of his mouth and tapped it, then put it back in his mouth, still not lighting it. “I suppose we’ll just have to trust to luck.”

  “What do you have to trust to luck?”

  “He can’t tell you,” Lucas said. The tone of his voice was remote, as if we didn’t know each other at all. I understood that he was focusing on the mission, but it made for an awkward tension between us.

  The cat jumped down from the ledge onto the bench where Lucas sat. He sniffed at Lucas’s sleeve for a moment and then climbed onto his lap, holding up his chin to be scratched. Lucas obliged.

  The lieutenant nodded at the cat. “Perhaps you have a bit of it. The superstitious types think a ship’s mascot will single out only the lucky ones. Let’s hope it’s more than a superstition.”

  One of the galley workers came out carrying a bin of silverware. “Right you are, sir. That’s one lucky cat. Unsinkable Sam has survived two sinkings with no more than a fit of temper at getting a dunking. Both times he was picked up swimming to shore steady as you please. Quite a good ratter too.”

  The cat ignored the praise. He jumped down from Lucas’s lap and trotted off.

  “I don’t know how much time we have,” I said. “I need to show you what you need to know. Can I explain it here?” I glanced over at the kitchen and the men working there.

  “Yes,” Lucas said. “These men were all carefully selected for their own mission, and at this point, anything they overhear won’t be something anyone else could put together to use against us.”

  I went over the information Andrew had given me and showed them the book, which was called Himmel Lieder. I opened it up and saw that it was a book of poetry in German.

  Lucas picked it up. “I recognize ‘lieder,’” he said. “‘Songs.’ I don’t know the other word.”

  “It means ‘sky,’” the lieutenant explained. “Very smart to use this book. It would be the sort of book someone might carry about with him.”

  I hadn’t thought about that. It made sense, if they were captured. My stomach turned over again. I swallowed and pushed the thought away. “You’re to use the Arnold Cipher,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “Here, I’ll show you an example.” I wrote out some numbers for them to practice with, and when they seemed comfortable with the cipher, I gave the book to Lucas.

  After that, the hours passed slowly. Lucas and the lieutenant were both quiet, lost in their own thoughts. I went back up on deck, feeling better in the open air. While daylight remained, I tried to count all the vessels in the convoy. I couldn’t see them all, but of the ones I could see, I ended up with two dozen, though the line of ships extended far back into the distance. It was the strangest collection of ships I’d ever seen. We traveled in three columns, our ship in the column closest to the British coast. One ship in particular had been altered so much I wasn’t sure what it resembled. Guns and ramps sprouted all over the upper deck, and mattresses hung around the control tower, leaving only a small space to see out.

  Rain began to fall, spitting down from heavy gray clouds almost the same color as the sea. The sailors moved about as if they didn’t even notice. I went below and sat, trying to think of anything but the motion of the ship. As night fell, I could sense a change in the mood of the officers who came in and out of the mess. Lucas and the lieutenant came down to get something to eat and then went back up, both carrying their rucksacks. I followed, unable to stand one more minute below. I joined Lucas and the lieutenant at the railing.

  “Almost time, men,” the captain called out. “Before we get started, there’s a cup of soup for everyone and a tot of rum for those who choose.” The thought of food made my stomach nearly turn itself inside out, but the sailors all hurried to the area where they were serving the soup and the rum.

  Some carried their mugs past me and the scent drifted over. I could tell it was chicken soup. My stomach settled a little at the thought of soup and I realized I should try to take a few sips. I waited until all the sailors had been served and then asked for a mug of my own. It wasn’t as good as Mrs. Brickles’s soup, of course, but I felt better after I drank it.

  Sometime around midnight, I could feel the excitement building aboard the ship. When small motorboats began to zip back and forth to the east of us, I knew it was time. The boats bounced above the waves like flying fish, with the men aboard throwing out canisters that began emitting thick smoke until I could no longer see the shore. Searchlights on the coast switched on, their long beams of light arcing back and forth, cutting through the smoke. Some of the larger ships began bombarding the shore. And with that, the night sky lit up. Shells exploded high above, some looking like stars, and some like giant, glowing green beads. They hung in the air long enough to light the whole area.

  “Why are they shooting up in the sky? Are there aeroplanes up there?” I yelled over the din.

  The lieutenant yelled back, “Those are tracers, so they can see where to aim their guns.”

  We watched as ships approached the seawall in front of the harbor. As soon as the one with the ramps and the mattresses reached it, I understood why the ship had been altered in such a peculiar way. Men lowered the ramps on the upper deck to make a bridge so they could cross to the seawall. Machine-gun fire from somewhere on the wall felled all the men who first attempted to cross over, but more kept coming. I couldn’t believe the bravery of the ones who ran forward, after seeing the men in front of them cut down. It was the most horrific thing I had ever witnessed.

  A sailor came up to Lucas. “We’ve got to lower the skiff and get you on your way so we can move in closer to do our job. Good luck.” He went over to the small craft and began to undo the lashings.

  More shells burst from the battery onshore, the booms startling me so much I had to grab hold of the rail to keep from falling. One shell came screaming toward us and I could feel my own scream welling up inside me. Lucas pulled me down onto the deck. Everyone around us acted as if they didn’t hear or see a thing. In those few seconds, I realized that Lucas’s actions wouldn’t have chang
ed our fate. If the shell had hit its mark, we’d be dead. I put my hand over my mouth to try to keep my horror from spilling out in a babble of words.

  The shell hit the water only a few feet away and exploded, sparks spraying out, some of them landing on the deck.

  “Mate, if you want in this skiff, you should go now,” the sailor said. Lucas looked at me. I nodded. I knew he had to go, though I couldn’t bear to think of what he would face. He started to say something to me and then stopped, just took my hand and squeezed it gently. As he climbed down the ladder, he yelled up, “Look for me in three or four days!”

  The wind switched and the smoke blew past us out to sea, leaving all the ships exposed to the German battery onshore. It seemed as if that was enough to spur all the enemy weapons into action. A hail of noise exploded over the sea and then a bombardment of shells rained down upon us. Ships all around us were hit, bursting into flames.

  Our own was rolling so badly, I feared it would swamp the skiff. I could see water sloshing over the side of it as Lucas tried to keep his hold on the bottom of the ladder so the lieutenant could climb down. Our ship began to fire back at the shore, gusts of black smoke exploding out with the shells. The whole ship shuddered each time a shell was fired, and I could hardly keep my balance. I had never imagined a sea battle would be like this. Choking smoke was everywhere, and I wondered if I’d be able to hear once the noise stopped. The lieutenant gave me a little wave and began to climb down the ladder.

  I was leaning over watching his progress when a shell hit the deck. I felt myself launched into the air, the breath jolted out of me. I hit the water hard as pieces of the ship, some ablaze, rained down around me. Stunned, I sank down, but the cold water shocked me into struggling to get back to the surface.

  Desperate, I gave a kick and came up. When my head broke through the water, I took a breath, but breathed in so much smoke that I began to cough and nearly went under again. Debris surrounded me, some of it on fire, but the water was freezing. It was an effort to even stay afloat. My wet coat and skirt weighed me down, and as I tried to swim, my skirt tangled in my legs, making it even harder. It was as if someone had attached weights to me. I tried to take off the coat, but all my efforts just pushed me under the water. At the surface, with the waves so high, I couldn’t even see if there were any other ships nearby.