I Had to Let You Go

by Emma Quinn

  “What the... hell?”

  I turned up the volume until the news anchor's voice filled the room.

  “Hollywood actor Vincent Roberts known for portraying action heroes suffered a cardiac arrest in his cell this morning and was rushed to hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival...”

  I felt unsteady on my feet as the words came to me. Vincent was dead? Focusing on the news anchor's voice, I listened intently as the story filtered out the TV.

  “His death comes six months after he kidnapped the son of another Hollywood actor, Ethan McBrayne, who he held for ransom. His trial was set to take place in just two months, but many will say justice was served before then.”

  “Honey? Are you okay?”

  Sophia was rushing out the bedroom zipping up her skirt as she ran. Then she saw what was on the screen and froze.

  “Oh, my God! What's he doing on TV?”

  “He's dead...” I told her.

  “Who's dead?” asked Luca, entering the room with his school bag slung over his shoulder.

  “No one, buddy,” I said, quickly turning the TV off. “Come on. Let's get you to school.”

  Extended Epilogue – Sophia

  I looked across my desk at all the paperwork and felt a migraine coming on. It wasn't that I didn't like my job. On the contrary. I adored it. Even thrived off the stress of it. But even I had to admit that my caseload today was ridiculous.

  Thankfully, my assistant knocked on the door to momentarily distract me.

  “You've got a visitor,” she said with her usual smile as she entered the room with my afternoon coffee.

  “A visitor? I don't have any meetings for another two hours.”

  “Not a visitor like that,” she said. “It's Ethan.”

  That explained why her cheeks were so red, and why her voice had ascended two octaves so she sounded like an excited schoolgirl.

  “He's in the waiting room outside,” she said, her cheeks like shining red apples. “It's the first time I've seen him in person, but I've seen all his movies. I hope you don't mind me saying but he's even better looking in person than he is on screen.”

  “I'll agree with you there,” I grinned. “Send him in.”

  She practically skipped out the room as she went to fetch him. Outside, I could hear her excited voice followed by the sound of footsteps traversing down the hall as Ethan approached.

  “Knock, knock,” he said, pretending to wrap his knuckles against the door.

  “Ethan, honey! What are you doing here?”

  I jumped out my seat and hugged him, kissing him hard.

  “You have no idea how much you've brightened up my day,” I told him. “You wouldn't believe how intense it is in here.”

  “I hope I'm not interrupting,” he said, lifting the bag in his hand to show me. “But I thought you could maybe do with a lunch break. Sushi okay?”

  “Sushi is always okay. You know it's my favorite.”

  He set all the containers out on my desk so it looked a little less like my office and a little more like a buffet.

  “Wow, you really went to town on all this,” I noted. “When you said lunch I didn't think you meant anything as fancy as this.”

  He cracked open a box of salmon rolls and slid them toward me.

  “Get stuck in,” he said. “You need to keep up your strength if you insist on being superwoman.”

  “Superwoman? Are you serious?”

  “Hey, you do it all. You're a badass lawyer, perfect mom, wonderful girlfriend and... a monster in the bedroom.”

  “Ah, so that's why you want me to keep up my strength,” I laughed, biting into my sushi.

  Seemingly out of nowhere, Ethan pulled a bottle of wine out from under the table and placed it in front of me along with two glasses.

  “Hey, I can't drink on the job.”

  “Yes you can,” he smiled, pouring the sumptuous red liquid into the glasses. “Come on, loosen up.”

  “I'm starting to think this isn't just an ordinary lunch you had planned.”

  I took a sip of the wine and felt it release the tension in my neck and shoulders that I'd felt since I'd arrived at the office.

  “I just wanted to bring you something special,” he said, picking up his own glass.

  I noticed there was a nervous glint in his eyes, like he couldn't quite look me in the face.

  What is he up to? He's never looked shifty like this before.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Nothing.”

  He reached for his wine again, this time not taking a sip, but an enormous gulp.

  “Are you sure you're okay? By the way this sushi is the best! Where did you say you got it?”

  “Bim Bom,” he replied as he drank even more wine.

  “Seriously? That place is like the hottest sushi restaurant in New York. They do take out?”

  “They do for me.”

  So this was a special lunch. Once again, I noticed the anxiety on his face. Looking down at his hands, I saw his fingers tremble ever so slightly.

  What's wrong with him?

  Then a thought popped into my head.

  He's going to break up with you. That's why he went to all this effort. So he could soften the blow.

  “Ethan....”

  “Uhuh.”

  He'd polished off his first glass of wine and was now moving onto a second.

  “Do you have something to tell me?”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Because you look as though you're about to have a heart attack. Are you... sweating?”

  There was a thin film of perspiration across his forehead like he was coming down with a fever, and his cheeks were turning the same color as the salmon.

  “I'm fine,” he assured me.

  “Don't lie to me. You might be a great actor but you're a shit liar. I know you're up to something.”

  “I'm not up to anything!”

  “You obviously are.”

  The fear in his eyes intensified. He began fumbling with his fingers and every time he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out.

  “I... I.... I do have something to say to you. Shit... I've been planning this for weeks. Thinking of the right words to say. Trying to make it sound as good as possible, but it's so hard, you know?”

  He is breaking up with you. Why else would he be acting like this?

  My God, how could you have been so stupid as to think everything was perfect between you?

  It felt as though my stomach was going to bottom out. He opened his mouth again and I knew that any second now, he was going to break the news I dreaded to hear. The news that he'd given me once before that had broken my heart.

  “Sophia...” he began, picking nervously at his sleeve. “I love you. I really do. And I absolutely love that you're my girlfriend but... “

  “But..... What?”

  “But I'm sick of you being my girlfriend and...”

  The tears were burning my eyes already as my whole body turned to an unmoving stone.

  The end is coming. He's really going to do this.

  “You're sick of me being your girlfriend?” I asked, choking on tears.

  “Yes,” he said, sliding off his chair so he landed on his knee. “I don't want you to be my girlfriend anymore. I want you to be my wife.”

  He reached up to me, small velvet box in hand and flipped it open. Inside was a small silver ring with a dot of a diamond in the center.

  “It was my mother's,” he said. “My dad insisted you have it.”

  I was too shocked to speak. All I could do was hold a hand to my mouth as the tears flowed freely.

  “Sophia... Will you marry me?”

  “Yes!” I exploded. “Oh, my God yes! YES!”

  I threw myself onto the floor on top of him, knocking a tub of soy sauce onto the crisp white carpet as I landed. It sent off a chain reaction as things toppled off the table. The bottle of wine was next, tumbl
ing onto the carpet along with a small dish of ginger.

  But I didn't care. The room could catch fire and I still wouldn't move.

  “Oh, Ethan I love you so much,” I cried, wrapping my arms around him so tight it hurt. “You have no idea how happy you've made me.”

  I rolled onto my back and he slipped the ring onto my finger. Now I saw that the fear had left his eyes, but it had been replaced with tears of happiness.

  “I love you so much,” he said, gripping my hand tight. “You've made me the happiest man alive.”

  “I love you too,” I said, wiping a tear from my cheek. “I'm so happy. And Luca will be too.”

  “We're going to officially be a family now,” said Ethan. “The three of us. Forever.”

  THE END

  Extract from the book:

  The Nanny’s Secret

  Emma Quinn

  1

  A

  nna Fox stiffened, her whole body freezing as she heard the distant click of a latch. But it was someone else’s door opening, not her own. For a second, she heard voices echoing in the hall, but they disappeared again as the door closed behind the guest. Quickly, Anna went back to packing.

  Even though she knew Justin wouldn’t be back for at least another hour, Anna couldn’t help the knots that ached in her stomach, the tension that kept her shoulders hunched and tight, or the semi-hysterical anxiety that buzzed through her like a live wire. She was running away from her husband. Of course she was on edge.

  Finally, her backpack was full, all her most beloved belongings carefully stowed away among a few necessary bits of clothing. She didn’t have much to take. One of the lesser-known advantages to the mobile, temporary character of military life was that it made running away a lot easier. But, what she did have – family photos, knick knacks given to her by her grandfather, a necklace from her mother before she died, and a few well-read favorite books – were precious to her. There was no way in hell Anna was going to leave behind the few souvenirs of her mother and her grandparents with her asshole soon-to-be-ex husband.

  Glancing one last time at the condo, Anna took a deep breath. Then, before she could second guess herself, she grabbed her coat and car keys and walked away, closing the door on her old life – and her old self.

  “Hey, Mrs. Sawatsky,” Joe, one of her downstairs neighbors grinned at her as she wove through the parking lot. He was walking with an overflowing bag of groceries in one hand and his little girl’s hand in the other. “Howya doing?”

  “Hi!” his daughter, Sonya, added, working a sticky lollipop out of her mouth and giving Anna a blue-stained grin.

  Anna smiled at the pair. “Hey guys,” she said. An unexpected feeling of loss rippled through her, like a pebble falling through water. She’d miss her home and her neighbors. They were good people and she’d been happy here. “I’m great. How are you?”

  “We’re gonna make pizza!” shouted Sonya.

  “Wow, delicious!” Anna replied, looking back up at Joe. He smiled wanly. Already imagining the mess that’ll make, no doubt, Anna thought. “Have fun, guys!”

  “You headed to the gym?” Joe asked, nodding to her backpack. It was the same one she used for spin class.

  “Yeah,” Anna said, nodding. She’d chosen the bag specifically so that if any of her neighbors saw her, they wouldn’t ask any awkward questions. And, if she was lucky, maybe their false intel would even put Justin off her trail for a while. “No rest for the wicked,” she grinned.

  “You’re a better man than I,” Joe joked. “Enjoy.”

  “Enjoy your pizza!” Anna replied and headed for her car. For the first time that day, she was smiling without having to force it. As she got into the driver’s seat of her little blue Mazda, she watched Joe and Sonya disappear around the corner. All the best, guys, she thought silently. She was grateful to them for letting her enjoy her last few moments in the condo complex where she’d spent two nearly perfect years of her life.

  ‘Nearly perfect’ being the operative words, Anna thought glumly as she reversed out of the stall and pulled out into traffic.

  When she and Justin had first been transferred to Williamsburg, Virginia, it had seemed like they’d finally gotten everything they’d wished for.

  “We’re together, we’ve both been promoted, and this condo has a view of a goddamn river,” Justin had said their very first night in the new condo, as they’d lain, exhausted, on their unmade bed. He’d propped himself up on one elbow and grinned down at her, his tanned, handsome face bright with happiness. Anna could still remember how happy she’d felt in that moment. How loved, how cherished, how safe.

  How things had changed.

  In retrospect, and especially as a psychologist, she probably should have seen this coming. But she’d been blindsided all the same.

  Anna’s mother had died while she was still in high school, and her medical bills had bankrupted the family. Bright and eager, Anna had joined the military straight out of school because they were willing to pay for her education. She’d studied psychology, Russian, and Spanish, and graduated top of her year. That was when she should have realized what was to come.

  She met Justin in Psych 300: Abnormal Psychology. Just like her, he was bright and eager and in the military. But, unlike her, he was competitive and a sore loser. When she’d won top honors at graduation, he’d sulked and sniped at her for weeks.

  “I mean, you worked so hard, babe,” he’d said to her once. “It’s great to see that being recognized. It’s, just, you know…it’s not like you were the top of every class. But, hey, that’s positive discrimination for you.”

  His words had felt like a slap in the face. But she’d swallowed her hurt and tried to make him feel better, telling how smart he was and how original his thesis work had been, even though he’d cribbed half of it from one of her earlier projects.

  “You idiot,” Anna muttered to herself, shaking her head as she thought back to those early days. Changing lanes, she took the exit heading west, out of Virginia. “How could you not have realized how he was manipulating you? Ugh! Young women are so gullible!” She slammed her hands down on the steering wheel in frustration and accidentally hit the horn. The sudden noise scared her and she jumped, waving her hand sheepishly when a passing driver shot her a dirty look.

  “Get a grip, Anna,” she told herself sternly.

  Deciding that she had wasted enough time and energy on Justin already, Anna turned on the radio and rolled the windows down. Soon, the wind was blowing through her thick, wheat-blonde hair, carrying away all thoughts of Justin. Rihanna blared through the little speakers as Anna settled on a station that played all the Top 40 pop songs she loved and Justin hated.

  Holding one hand out the driver’s side window, Anna howled at the empty highway, feeling free for the first time in years.

  “I’m going to listen to top 40 radio at top volume all the way back to Colorado, you asshole!” she shouted into the wind. “And it’s going to be AMAZING.”

  And it was.

  Three days later, she drove up to her family home in Boulder, Colorado, feeling better than she had in years. Her little sister, Daisy, was out in the front yard, watering the vegetable garden, and she looked up, surprised and happy to see Anna pull into the driveway.

  Dropping the hose, she ran towards her sister, arms outstretched. “What are you doing here?” she asked, as Anna shut off the engine and launched herself out of the car and into her sister’s embrace.

  “I’ve come home,” said Anna, squeezing her sister tightly. “Oh my god, it’s so good to be back.”

  “Come home?” Daisy pulled back slightly, looking up at her older sister from underneath the brim of her big floppy sunhat. “What do you mean ‘come home’?”

  Anna sighed. She hadn’t wanted to tell her family the news over the phone, but now that she was there in person, she didn’t want to do it that way either. “Let’s get inside and I’ll tell you everything over a cup of coffee.”

>   “Okay,” said Daisy, sensing that her sister’s story wasn’t a happy one. “Just let me turn off the water.”

  Anna fished her backpack out of the back seat of the car and headed for the front door, Daisy following after her with a basket of freshly picked green beans and cherry tomatoes. “Dad!” she called as the sisters entered the house. “Guess who’s come home?”

  Their father, Tom Fox, was old beyond his fifty-five years. Rolling his wheelchair around, he back up and looked down the hall at them from where he sat in the living room. “Anna!” he cried, his voice hoarse. “What a wonderful surprise. What brings you all the way out here? Did they give you a few days off?”

  Anna toed off her shoes, leaving them in the messy pile of shoes and boots by the door. “No, I’ve quit,” she said.

  Her father raised his eyebrows. “You quit?”

  “Let me put some coffee on,” Daisy interjected. “Then we can all sit comfortably and talk. I’m sure Anna’s exhausted after her drive.”

  “You drove back?” her father, looking even more surprised than before.

  Anna nodded. Leaving her backpack in the hall with her shoes, she padded into the living room and went to join her father by the large French doors that looked out onto the backyard. Settling herself in a large, paisley reading chair – one that had been in the family since she was a child – she took her father’s hand in hers and squeezed his fingers. “A lot’s happened,” she said.

  Her father looked at her, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiled at her. “Well, whatever it is, you know we’re always happy to have you back.”

  His hand was weak and frail in hers, and she stroked his papery skin gently. “How are you?” she asked softly. Her father had been diagnosed with MS ten years ago, just after her mother had died. While his was a milder form, one that came and went, in the last few years it had been coming more often than going and his condition was getting steadily worse. Anna knew that she was going to need to find work soon if she was going to keep up with his medical bills.