No Wasted Tears

by Sylvia D. Carter

  Pushing her chair away from the desk, Destiny’s breathing became normal. He was getting married. Now all she had to deal with was the effect it was going to have on Stanley.

  Standing to gaze out of her office window, Destiny turned slightly, looking directly at Shelia; she tried to be as casual as possible. “Well, I wish them the best. Listen, Shelia, I’ve got to get out of here. Let’s do lunch when I get back from my trip.”

  “All right, girl. I’ll see you on Monday.” Shelia smiled and walked out of the office.

  Destiny had no idea how Stanley was going to take the news, but knew she would find out sooner than later.

  As if he’d read her thoughts, a voice broke into her space taking over the atmosphere. Shocked, and slightly disturbed by the fact that she had been staring off into space for so long, she quickly looked up to see Stanley, who stared at her in what looked to be a major annoyance. “I guess you heard what my ex-friend did?”

  Destiny looked at Stanley. “I heard he’s marrying Denise.” She answered as calmly as she could.

  Clearing his throat, Stanley came around the side of the desk looking directly at Destiny. “He knew I loved her! I can’t believe he went behind my back.”

  It wasn’t what she wanted to hear nor did she care to get into a long, drawn out discussion about it now obviously the only reason for his extended visit. She humored the notion of starting an argument for a moment, but what would be the point. Looking at the man who had stolen so many years from her only caused her more irritation, she wished his male charm had never had been used on her.

  Shaking her head, a faint smile came to her lips. “I thought you loved me. If not, then why are we still together, Stanley?”

  Pushing away from her desk, Stanley took a deep breath before rolling his eyes. “Please, Destiny, not today.”

  Destiny jumped up and began to walk out of her office. But Stanley blocked her way. “If you’re not happy, when you pack your things for your little trip to Hicksville, don’t come back. You were always my second choice anyway.” With that being said, he turned and walked out of her office without a backward glance.

  Stanley had shown up like a surprise storm and disappeared just as quickly carrying his gale force winds of anger back to his office, which didn’t bother her in the least, he often locked himself in there to sulk. The silence that followed didn’t dim Destiny’s enthusiasm one bit. She was still excited about her trip. The enthusiasm leapt right across the desk where it hung in the air for what seemed like forever. Destiny couldn’t recall much more about the conversation as she finished her day. The details didn’t really matter. They were at an impasse. He had expressed his feelings about her and now she had to begin planning her future without him. There was time for that; tomorrow she was going on her annual trip with her aunt.

  Kingstree, South Carolina, had a population of about three thousand. It was where her aunt, who ran the local club in their small rural community for several years, had raised her. She was royalty in their hometown. At sixty, she was still a thrill a minute.

  Destiny smiled to herself as she thought about her. There was no other person like her. She put her bag in the trunk and got in the car. Her aunt never liked to be late. Destiny knew that the first thing she would notice when she hugged her would be the smell of roses. She always smelled the same no matter what time of day, always saying, “The sweetest thing about me is the roses I keep around my yard, and there isn’t a better lotion for a woman than one with the smell of roses.” She would laugh from deep down in her belly, making her eyes light up.

  Most folk could not help noticing how attractive she was even now. Her heart-shaped face was still classically cut, even with signs of aging. Her eyes were the blackest and most beautiful pieces of coal you ever wanted to see. Men loved how her five-foot-eight frame handled her curves and her ample hips. Not too much but not too little.

  She always said, “Most of them, men I mean, can’t handle any more than this on a good day.” Then she would run her hand gracefully down her sides, bat those eyes, add an extra shake to her hips, and strut out of the room.

  Auntie always wanted to go visit her family for the annual pig pickin’, and this year was no different. The pig pickin’ in Kingstree was a big event, a party that involved the barbecuing of a whole hog. They always had a good time, and this year would not be an exception.

  Focusing on the issue at hand, Destiny knew the time for daydreaming was not now. Her aunt was sitting on the front porch of her house when she drove up. Sara began to get up as she saw the car. Like many women her age, Auntie was always in a hurry. Opening her door and walking around to open the trunk, Destiny struggled putting the bag inside because she always packed like she’d be gone a year.

  “I hope I’m not too late because I know you like to get an early start.”

  Auntie felt like she had to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. The food would not be the same unless she was there to help prepare it.

  “Child, they don’t know how to season food. I’ve got all of my secret spices, and nothing will taste right without them.” This was what she said every year.

  Destiny shook her head, watching as her aunt walked toward the car. Her arms opened, beckoning for them to give each other a hug.

  “Put my bag in the car. We can beat the morning rush-hour traffic if we leave right now.”

  “I’m moving as fast as I can. Don’t worry. We’ll get there before the first piece of cabbage is cut for the coleslaw.”

  “Where is Stanley on this Friday morning?” Sara asked as she closed the door. “I know he gave you a specific time to get back on Saturday. Never seen a man so hell-bent on keeping up with one woman.” She put her seat belt on, snapped it in place, and then turned to look at Destiny.

  “He was dressed to play golf. What else? He bought a new set of clubs last week. You know he wants to try them out on the course today.” Destiny shook her head and began to pull out of the drive.

  “When’s the last time he bought something new for you? Always spending money and showing off for those rich friends of his. I wonder what his friends would think if they knew the real Stanley Womack. Never did like that man.” Sara crossed her arms, sucked her teeth, and stared out the window. “You think I don’t know, baby girl? But I’ve seen those bruises on your arms and on your face. You try to cover them up. Always wearing those long blouses and using that makeup, but I’ve seen them.” The anger in her voice was evident. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times to leave him. What is it that he has on you to make you stay? Your mama would be really disappointed if she were alive knowing you were being treated this way.” Sara shook her head. “I just don’t understand it.”

  “Auntie, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and I know you love me, but you just don’t understand. Stanley is not all bad, and he was there for me when I needed him. I want to do the same for him. Look at all of the things he’s done for me over the years.” Knowing it was a cop-out, Destiny kept her eyes on the road and continued to drive. “So don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right.”

  “But I can’t help it, honey.” Sara stated. “I couldn’t be there for you while you were in college.”

  “You were busy trying to keep a roof over our heads. I want you to know that all the things you did to keep me in college and give us a place to live will never be forgotten.”

  “Child, you are all the family I have. I wouldn’t change all the memories we’ve created for anything in the world.”

  “If it weren’t for me, you would have gotten married and had some kids of your own.”

  “If I really wanted to get married, it would have happened. Now, I don’t want to hear anything else on the subject, you hear? Stop worrying about me. I’m too ornery and set in my ways now for any man to deal with me.”

  “Now, would I do that?” Smirking, Destiny kept her eyes on the road.

  “Yes, if it was what you thought was best fo
r me. You remind me so much of your mother. Margret was the real nurturer in the family even though I was older. She was always worrying about other people and never herself.” The last few words caught in her aunt’s throat.

  Destiny glanced at her aunt and stated the obvious. “You two were closer than most sisters, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, we were. It’s been a lot of years, and I still miss her. Always will.”

  “I wish I could have known her and my father. But you’ve been both mother and father to me. I love you, Auntie.” She glanced over again to smile at the woman she trusted more than anyone else in the world.

  They both settled into the drive to Kingstree with their own thoughts. The drive would take a couple of hours. Destiny put in her Anthony Hamilton CD and listened to him sing about corn bread, fish, and collard greens. It was easy to relax while listening to his rich, soulful voice.

  Without warning, as she always did, Sara would start talking about the past as they headed to the old homestead in Kingstree.

  “You know the good Lord knows who to give them to, children I mean, and who not too. I guess my name was on the not list.” Smiling, she continued.

  “But your mama, she was the sweetest thing in this world. She was always too trusting. She fell for your daddy the first night they met. Oh, she was smart, pretty, and had the cutest dimples. All the single men and some of the married ones in Kingstree were sweet on her. I told her when she met him he had too much going on in his life. But I knew it was over when he sang and danced with her that first night. They lit the whole place up. You could actually see the love. He told me that he was a pediatrician in Atlanta. He sent her flowers every day as well as bought her all kinds of gifts. She fell hard for him. Two weeks after they met, he was gone.

  “Men like him came into the club all the time, you know.” Laughing out loud to no one in particular, she continued. “They always walked around like they were the king of the world, flashing their money and buying drinks for all the ladies. I have to give him credit though. He was different from the other men who came around. He always treated your momma like a lady, always pulling her chair out, opening doors, and stuff like that.”

  Chuckling and running her hand down her thigh, she said, “Baby girl, let me tell you, your daddy has the prettiest caramel-colored eyes just like you and the same brown, wavy hair. It broke your momma’s heart when he left. They were always together, but he didn’t even let her know he was leaving. One day they were supposed to meet at the house for a special dinner, and he never showed up. She cried for many nights. There was nothing I could do. I tried everything, but nothing helped. She was devastated by his leaving.” Auntie shifted in her seat. She started smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her shirt before continuing.

  “She was twenty-nine years old when she got pregnant with you. It was the best present she could have gotten. She changed when she found out she was pregnant. She started talking about the future and all the things she aspired to do for you. I never could understand it. One day she was ready to give up on life, and then, all of a sudden, she was the Margret I knew before your daddy left. It was the strangest thing.

  “When she went into labor, she started hemorrhaging badly. They couldn’t stop the bleeding. I made a promise to my sister that night, and I kept it.”

  Auntie never got tired of telling Destiny the story, almost as if she didn’t want her to forget.

  “Your mama said, ‘Sara, take care of her. She’s your little girl now. You’ve always said that the good Lord knew who to give them to. I guess he found you worthy. You’ve been real good to me, Sara. You were the best sister anybody could have ever had. I know it wasn’t easy raising me after Mama and Daddy died, but you did. Now she’s part of your destiny and she’s going to help give your life purpose. Both of you will be just fine. My little Destiny has a special angel. God sent her an angel, and he’s going to take care of both of you.’”

  She stopped again, the tears flowing steadily down her face.

  “I knew then she was slipping away because she thought your daddy was standing in the door of that hospital room. It was only because I knew he was a pediatrician in Atlanta, and not Charleston that I didn’t correct her, I just let her talk. ‘Sara, tell the story of how we fell in love one night while we danced to Smokey Robinson. Tell her how he sang “The Track of my Tears.” Tell her I chose her and God chose me.’

  “She grabbed my hands, and at that point I could tell she was leaving me. She looked toward the door as if she saw Jesus himself. But it was that same doctor with his surgical mask covering his face, their gazes locked as if they knew each other. Her face began to light up with a happiness that I had not seen since she looked down at you. “I heard her whisper, ‘I knew you were coming. Isn’t she the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen? She has your caramel eyes and brown hair.’ I turned around expecting to see him at the door, but the only person standing there was that doctor with his surgical mask and his assistant.”

  After pondering those thoughts in her mind, Auntie looked out the window of the car, turning slowly to look at Destiny.

  “Destiny, sometimes you’re able to see in hindsight what was right before your eyes. But while you were looking, you missed the important details. I believe it’s true that our view about many things can be blocked by people, jealously, hate, and envy. Really, in my opinion people see what they want to see, baby.”

  She patted my leg before continuing. “But in reality there’s always more if we would only allow the way we feel to be eliminated from what we see. Our own insecurities can block us from seeing what could actually bless our lives or become a blessing in our lives. After all the years that Margret has been gone, it’s only now that I realize it was my anger and bitterness over the way my life had turned out that caused me to be jealous of the love Margret found.”

  Sara got quiet, caught up in her own thoughts.

  A tear ran down the side of Sara’s face. With a hand that had seen better days, she wiped it quickly away.

  “Auntie, are you all right?”

  And as if she had been in a trance, she looked at Destiny, wiped the tears, smiled that smile of hers, and said, “I did my best for you. Margret didn’t want her baby girl working at no club and having babies by some ‘ole no count man. And I kept all those boys that saw you filling out and looking like a china doll away. You were so smart just like your mama, and you loved all that science stuff. Every time I turned around you were either cutting up a frog or working on a concoction to make them better. Even back then your life was already poised for greatness, baby girl.” She patted Destiny’s thigh, after that statement, and closed her eyes. Destiny smiled looking at the road ahead of them moving closer to Kingstree.

  Chapter 3

  Coming out of her sleep, caused her head to jerk. Destiny ran her hand through her hair as the fog cleared in her head. She saw his lips moving before hearing his question. Then she noticed the flight attendant standing by her cart. “Would you like something to drink?”

  She put her hand to her aching eyes, she was exhausted. “A Coke, please.”

  “Would you like some peanuts to go with that?”

  “No, thank you. Just a Coke.”

  “We’ll be back around in about forty-five minutes. If you need anything before then, just push the over head button to your right.”

  “Adam, can I offer you anything else to make your flight more comfortable?” She noticed the woman serving them was also serving up a view of her ample bosom. The sharp stab of jealously that ran through Destiny was as unexpected as it was unwanted. She turned her head and pretended that she was interested in the blackness outside of the window. Her slender, amber-colored, manicured fingers touched his shirt collar. Destiny could not believe the display that was unfolding before her eyes.

  In a low, rusty voice, Adam responded, “No, thank you. The lady and I will inform you if we need anything else.”

  With that, she pushed the cart to the next
set of seats.

  “I didn’t want to disturb you. They say you should never wake a person suddenly from their sleep.” He said, taking a sip of his coffee. “First time for you?” He glanced at her for a brief moment.

  “Huh?” She answered, being jolted out of her thoughts before turning from her window.

  “Is this your first time on a plane?” he clarified as he raised his eyebrows.

  “No, I’ve flown several times,” she answered. “But this is my first trip to Seattle.” She smiled at him “What about you?”

  “Seattle is home for me.” Laughing, he suddenly stopped as if he was pondering his next words. “Will you be traveling far when we land?”

  She felt a little apprehensive about answering him. After all she knew very little about him. But she also knew there was something oddly different about him, something she couldn’t put her finger on. It was the warmth that she felt from his eyes that made her comfortable enough to answer his question.

  “I’m not familiar with the area. But my aunt and I have bought a home in the SeaTac area.”

  “I have a friend that lives in that area. Warren Revis. He pastors one of the local churches in Seattle. It’s not far from the airport. It’s a beautiful community, very peaceful, and the homes in the area are so reasonably priced. If you need a ride or help with your luggage, I’d be glad to give you one. No pressure, of course.” Adam took another sip of the coffee he ordered.

  Destiny thought that Adam’s offer was kind. “I’m not really sure when I’ll be leaving the airport. I am supposed to be meeting a young woman who will be living with us for a while. She’s flying into Seattle tonight as well.”

  Adam took the napkin from his tray and wiped away the sandwich crumbs from his mouth that he had been eating.

  “It’s no problem. I can give you both a ride. I really don’t mind. It will give me a chance to visit with Warren and his family.”

  She thought about what Adam had said, and it sure would beat paying unnecessary money for a taxi. “Maybe we will accept your offer.”