Fighting Words
Page 18
One of the things Della learns about in this book is consent. Consent is actually pretty easy: It means that nobody can do things to your body without your permission—and permission means saying yes, not just not saying no. Sometimes we aren’t used to asking for consent, to saying “Hey, would you like a hug?” when our friends look sad. It’s good to get used to asking for consent. Practice it. And always listen when someone tells you no.
Kids actually can’t give consent to certain adult things. They’re too young. In some cases it doesn’t matter at all whether or not a child would be willing to give consent— they simply can’t. The kid is never to blame in these situations. The adult always is.
No matter how bad something in your life makes you feel, know that bad feelings are temporary. People can always heal. We can always get better. I promise.
If you’re looking for more information on how to get help or to help someone, I recommend the websites seekthenspeak.org and startbybelieving.org. You can also contact RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the nation’s largest anti–sexual violence organization, at rainn.org or 800-656-HOPE. If you want to know more statistics about sexual abuse and children, you can find some on my website, www.kimberlybrubakerbradley.com.
Finally, if you’ve ever thought about hurting yourself, please, please don’t. Lots of places will help you. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline twenty-four hours a day—suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 800-273-8255.
Last of all, be a wolf. Take care of your pack. And fight.
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If you want to think more about the topics covered in this book, here are some questions you could go over with your friends. (Thanks to Room 228 Educational Consulting for their help compiling them.)
1. Why does Della say Suki’s superpower is to make herself invisible? How does it help Suki to be invisible? What might happen if people really saw her?
2. Are people in Della’s life really seeing her? She’s not invisible, but she’s good at putting up a mask to hide behind. Is this good or bad? How does it help or hurt her?
3. How does Ms. Davonte see Della? Dr. Penny? Francine? Which comes closest to seeing the real Della?
4. How does Della learn to show herself? What helps her find her words? What helps her keep fighting?
5. How does Della’s love for Suki change the story? How does Suki’s love for Della? How does having someone who loves us help us be honest and strong?
6. The scariest moment of the book is when Suki hurts herself. Why is this the worst thing she could do? Why won’t Suki promise Della that she’ll never do it again? Should she be able to make that kind of promise?
7. Why is Della’s story so hard to tell? What makes her brave enough to tell it?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This was not an easy book to write, and there were times, while writing it, when I was not an easy person to be around. Thanks to everyone who hung in with me. Thanks to the many people who gave me shelter and support.
Christa Desir read a very early draft and provided valuable feedback. Shauna Nefos Webb, PhD, read a later draft for authenticity, and Dr. Jennifer Hartstein did the same at the end. Thank you all very much for your expertise. These are complex topics; while I’ve tried hard to make Della and Suki’s experiences real and true, they aren’t universal. Your healing may come about differently.
My mom and dad are my favorite copyeditors (though errors remaining are my own). I love my siblings and I’m grateful they love this book. My merry band of nephews gives us joy and inspiration.
Dial Books for Young Readers, Lauri Hornik, and Jessica Dandino Garrison: Right from the first thirty-nine-page unpunctuated stream-of-consciousness, exceedingly rough draft, Della’s story mattered more to me than anything else I’ve ever written. You not only allowed but enthusiastically encouraged me to craft a novel for ten-year-olds featuring sexual assault, a suicide attempt, foster care, homelessness, meth addiction, and eighty-six uses of the word snow. Your support has meant and always will mean the world to me. I hope you like me, you’re stuck with me now.
My children fill my life with laughter, love, sarcasm, snark, and regular reminders of how very lucky I am. My husband, Bart Bradley, is the bravest man I ever met. He knows how much I owe him. I hope he knows how much I love him too.
For several years, survivors of sexual assault have been entrusting me with their stories. Thank you, all of you, for your courage and tenacity. I hope you feel I listened. I’ve found my words. I pray that someday you will too.
KIMBERLY BRUBAKER BRADLEY
is the author of several middle grade novels, including the widely acclaimed Jefferson’s Sons and the New York Times bestsellers The War I Finally Won and The War That Saved My Life, which also earned a Newbery Honor and a Schneider Award. She and her husband have two grown children and live with their dog, several ponies, a highly opinionated mare, and a surplus of cats on a fifty-two acre farm in Bristol, Tennessee. Learn more about Kim on her website, kimberlybrubakerbradley.com and her blog, kimberly-brubaker-bradley.blogspot.com, and connect with her on Twitter @kimbbbradley and on Facebook at kimberly.b.bradley.5.
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