In the Absence of Absalon

by Simon Okotie

  The reason, then, that he refrained in this way from diverting one or both of his hands to the rear of his pants, to use that terminology now, related to the fact that he was concerned that dwelling upon such features might be off-putting to the more squeamish of those following in his footsteps, even though he knew that being able to deal with bodily waste – of whatever kind – was part (and, he tried, and failed, to refrain from adding, parcel) of any investigative career, particularly, to his mind, in its early stages and, secondly, and most importantly, to the fact that he was certain that the keys in question, or any keys, were not contained in that rear-most pocket given that: his posterior, to use that delicate term for the more delicate of his subordinates, had, quite recently, been in direct contact with a seat; that anything metallic and perhaps even sharp, such as a key, or a bunch of keys on a key ring enclosed within such a rear pocket, whether to the left or to the right (from his and our perspective, as before) would as it were have intervened between him (and, more specifically, his backside – left or right cheek – to use those somewhat more direct terms) and the seat; he would have noticed the (probably painful) physical sensations of this intervention and would have retained the memory of such recent sensations to be used in evidence when, as in the current scenario, he was looking for the key or keys that would literally unlock the door to the indescriptive townhouse before him that he took to be so central to his investigation into the disappearance of his colleague Marguerite, last seen on the trail of Harold Absalon, the Mayor’s transport advisor; and he had no such memory of such sensations; on this basis, he concluded that the keys to the townhouse were not, in fact, contained in the rear pocket of his trousers, which was the reason why he refrained from referring to going around the back, with its connotations of defecation, preferring, instead, to refer to the front portion of this area of his trousers, with its implication of the sexual, rather than a urinary or excretory function, which, in turn, would point, sometimes quite literally, to the sexual frisson that existed between himself and the wife of the transport advisor,6 who had, in turn, been on the trail of Marguerite, his investigative colleague, prior to his disappearance, hoping that, just as with the more squeamish amongst us, this diversion to, and through, the most basic of human functions (which ordinarily must be hidden away in rooms that were often quite small and which were almost always, in his experience, gender-specific) had not put her off him, thereby jeopardising the potential for them to engage in that other basic human (and non-human) function – one that, similarly, took place in private rooms, although generally rooms of a somewhat larger size, although sometimes (and there was a whole sexual industry here), of course, in cubicles, but which readers, such as ourselves, were much happier to read about to the extent that it was quite difficult, now, to write about that latter intimate physical activity with any hope of originality.

  8

  He started now to bring his left foot up to accompany his right on the step that protruded from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question. What he meant to say by this, as, elongating the ring finger of his left-hand glove, he finally removed that glove from his left hand whilst simultaneously locating with his right hand the keys in the far corner of his left-hand trouser pocket, was that, leaning forwards slightly and straightening his right leg, he had bent his left knee and foot such that, whilst the ball, as it’s known, and the toes of that foot remained on the ground, which is to say at local ground level rather than at the level of the step that protruded from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question, he had raised the heel of his left foot as a precursor to raising the remaining part of that foot to a level at which it could subsequently be moved forwards and placed alongside, or thereabouts, the right foot on the step that protruded from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question. In other words he wished to elevate the lowest part of that foot, which is to say the left, to a height that was no less (and ideally more) than the height of the step that protruded (and, as far as we know, continues to protrude) from underneath the gate to the area in front of the townhouse in question so that, after he had moved that foot forwards, which is to say in the direction that he was facing, as it’s known, then it would be possible to place (or in the case where the elevation of the lowest part of that foot was equal to the height of the step in question, slide) the foot into position alongside his other foot, which is to say his right foot.

  Why this requirement, he wondered, as his heel continued to elevate almost to the point where the ball of his foot also started to elevate, to place the left foot alongside, rather than in advance of, the right? Granted that there was a gate in front of both feet, which is to say in front of him as a whole, and it might be that it was this that constrained the potential forward motion of both feet; he was, after all, even as he straightened the right and bent the left leg further so as to facilitate the passage of the left foot, as before, from local ground level to the relative elevation of the step protruding from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question, simultaneously reaching downwards, now, with his left hand towards his left-hand front trouser pocket (and, given that there was no left-hand rear trouser pocket, as has been established, the use of the qualifier ‘front’ is surely superfluous in this instance) so as to be able to retrieve the keys to the padlock securing the gate to the area railings in front of the townhouse in question to gain access to that area – for himself if not for others – whilst reaching upwards with his right hand towards the glove that was dangling from his mouth.

  Was it, then, simply the case, he wondered, as his toes left the tarmac, concrete or other material that comprised the local, presumably publically owned ground level of the pavement or sidewalk en route to the brick, concrete or stone of the presumably privately owned (by Richard Knox, remember) relative elevation of the step that protruded, and perhaps continues to protrude, in the manner previously described, which is to say, from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question, that there was only sufficient space for his feet to be located side-by-side, which is to say, for his feet to be located next to each other on that step, with his left foot on the left-hand side (he would come back to this) and his right to its right, on his right-hand side (as before)? In still other words, was the step that protruded and perhaps continues to protrude from beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question of a similar depth, if that is the correct way in which to specify the dimension in question, as the size of his feet (assuming, for now, that his feet were of a similar size to each other) such that, were he to place his left foot onto that step that he would have to place it next to the right foot?

  Yes and no, was his response to the question that he had posed himself and which, as his left foot commenced its descent towards that step, it (this foot) having elevated itself to a height slightly in excess, in fact, of that of the step in question as a means of avoiding having to slide forward across that step (this in the situation, remember, where the lowest part of that foot equalled, rather than exceeded, the height of the step in question), he continued to ponder. And the reason he responded in this somewhat ambiguous way to the question he had set himself, as he continued to lean forward, notice, with the still straightening right side of the body, whilst the left side, as it were, caught up, was that, as always, it depended on one’s perspective. He could, he thought, confirm for us that the depth of the step more or less matched the long dimension of each of his feet, such that, when the left foot attained the step in question it must, of necessity, locate itself alongside (and to the left of) the right foot; there was, on this basis, quite simply nowhere else for it to go. But in another sense the depth of the step was much greater than this, which is to say, much greater than the distance from its edge to the nearest plane of the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question (leaving aside the possibility of there bein
g a gap underneath that gate of sufficient height for a fraction (in length) of one or more of his feet to occupy, thereby effectively extending the depth in question of the step in question). And the reason it was much greater was that it extended, in fact, from its edge all the way across the area in front of the townhouse to the steps leading up to the front door of the townhouse itself; in other words, this step that protruded from beneath the gate leading to that area was by far the deepest (or perhaps, now, he should say the longest) of the steps leading up to that front door. Granted that, as has long been established, there was a gate barring, as it were, his entry to that area and it was this that was constraining his pedicural room for manoeuvre; yet – and this was a further point that mediated or transcended the simplistic binary opposition between the similarity or difference in size of the foot, or feet, and the step in question – given that that gate was secured with a chain and padlock, there would be some flex in the crucial dimension in question, which is to say the depth (or perhaps length) of that first step i.e. the step that protruded, to use that shorthand, meaning that he would, he thought, be able to open the gate fractionally without unlocking the padlock securing it, as a mere precursor, of course, to unlocking that padlock, entering the area, and continuing his exhaustive investigation into the disappearance of his senior investigative colleague, Marguerite, who was last seen on the trail of Harold Absalon, the Mayor’s transport advisor, who, previously, had gone, and then subsequently had been, missing.

  9

  There was, in fact, an opportunity for one or more of his feet to protrude beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse, just as the step that those feet were placed upon protruded beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse. In other words, were he to want or require, for the purposes of his investigation, rather than on a whim, to place one or more of his feet in a position such that it – or they – were to protrude beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse, just as the step that that very foot – or those very feet – was, or were, placed upon, protruded beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse then there was an opportunity for him to do so. And the reason that there was an opportunity for him to place one or more of his feet in the position described, which is to say in a position where it – or they – protruded beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse, just as the step upon which they were placed protruded beneath that gate, related to the fact that the position of the gate was such that there was a gap beneath it, a gap, in fact, between the step that protruded from underneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse and the gate itself, a gap, moreover, of sufficient horizontal and vertical dimension to accommodate a foot, or feet, were this, or these, to be placed within that gap, such that this item or these items, were it or they to be placed in a sufficiently advanced position within that space between protuberant step and elevated gate, could be said to protrude beneath the gate in question whilst being placed on that step which also, but in a different way, protruded beneath the same gate.

  Before returning to specify, more precisely, a maximum number of feet that could be placed within this area, he wished, first, as he took his left-hand glove from his mouth with his right hand, to adumbrate how the manner in which his foot or feet, were he to place it or them in the appropriate location (which is to say in a location between the step that protruded beneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse and the gate itself, in a sufficiently advanced position such that that foot, or those feet, extended beyond the vertical, two-dimensional plane formed by the side of the gate facing the townhouse in question), would differ in their protrusion from the manner in which the step that protruded beneath the gate to the townhouse in question protruded from beneath that gate. And the primary way in which his foot or feet would differ in their protrusion from that of the step upon which they were currently placed, were they to be placed in a more advanced position underneath the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse in question such that they protruded beneath that gate, would be one of direction: the step that protruded beneath that gate protruded in our direction, which is to say it protruded towards those of us following, in whatever way on-goingly mysterious to him, in his footsteps whereas, those very footsteps, were they singly or doubly (but, he hoped, always singularly) to continue towards the area in front of the townhouse prior to him opening the gate barring him, as it were, from that area, then they would, in all likelihood, for a time, at least, protrude beneath that gate, but in the opposite direction to that of the step that protruded beneath the same gate. It was this, then, quite simply, that was the primary difference in protrusion between the step and his foot or feet, which is to say, between the actual protrusion of the step from beneath the gate to the area in front of the townhouse in question and the potential protrusion of his foot or feet beneath that same gate, which is to say the gate that he was facing, and, by extension, that we are facing, in the opposite direction from that in which the step that protruded beneath the gate was or is facing (and note that there was also a gate to the right of the area in front of the townhouse that led to the steps leading down to the basement area, the top step of which protruded beneath that gate, and in a still different direction, which is to say to the right from his (and from our) perspective).

  And the only point he wished to clarify in terms of the quantity of the feet (and he would say nothing about their quality, given the amount of painstaking legwork he had been engaged in in attempting to unearth the circumstances of the disappearance of his esteemed investigative colleague, Marguerite, who was last seen on the trail of Harold Absalon, the Mayor’s transport advisor, who had been missing) in relation to the roughly rectangular space afforded them by the area bounded by: the bottom of the gate; the two gateposts, left and right; and the step that protruded beneath that gate, was that they should total a maximum of two and, in the case where no protrusion occurred (which is to say, no protrusion of foot or feet, rather than of step, under gate) a minimum of zero, and that the number of feet, in the situation where one or more of them did, in fact, protrude from underneath the gate to the area in front of the townhouse in question, should consist of a whole number, otherwise one would have to bring the toes into play, such that one would say that one or more of the toes protruded in the manner described, and he wished to avoid this, for some reason.

  10

  Why, given the foregoing, did he refrain, then, from placing one or more (as before) of his feet beneath the gate, opting to lean towards it instead? Why, in other words, did he not move even closer to the gate, in the manner described, so as to make the leaning towards it superfluous? The reason that he hadn’t placed one or more of his feet in the position described was that he had noticed that there was something lying on the floor beneath the gate. Essentially, then, by refraining from placing one or more (as before) of his feet in this location, he was momentarily preserving the scene so as to be able to examine this piece of evidence subsequently. Why, though, did he not examine the object immediately, that is before continuing to move towards retrieving the keys from his left-hand trouser pocket with his left hand whilst his right hand moved towards placing his left-hand glove in his left-hand jacket pocket (note)? Why, in other words, had he not diverted his right hand to the task of retrieving this object rather than to depositing his left-hand glove in his left-hand jacket pocket? Why was his left hand still moving towards his left-hand trouser pocket so as to retrieve the keys to enable him to unlock the padlock securing the gate leading to the area in front of the townhouse, rather than moving towards the item on the ground in front of him with the assistance, perhaps, of a crouching or squatting posture, as a means of picking up and examining said item? The rationale for the lean, compared to the crouch, squat or bend, was that, were he to pause momentarily to pick up the object, then he would be apprehended by his pursuers. That, in short, was why he continued with his current mission s
ub-objectives of depositing the glove and retrieving the keys as a means of gaining such access, rather than picking up what could prove to be a crucial piece of evidence, crucial, that is, to his investigation into the circumstances surrounding the disappearance of his colleague Marguerite, who was last seen in pursuit of Harold Absalon, the Mayor’s transport advisor and, more specifically, the circumstances pertaining immediately prior to, and at the moment of, the disappearance(s) of said person(s).

  Note that the preference for leaning, as opposed to crouching, squatting or bending, was specific to the situation as it presented itself to him at that moment. It was not, in other words, a general preference on his part. There were times when he enjoyed crouching; other times he enjoyed squatting or bending. Equally there were times when he enjoyed more than one of these actions at the same time: bending and leaning, say, or crouching and bending. And note that even though crouching and squatting could not be undertaken at the same time, really, at least not by the same person, this did not rule out his enjoying these two actions at the same time, since enjoyment did not necessarily imply any action on his part: it may be the enjoyment afforded by watching someone else crouching while he squatted, say, or vice versa, or any number of permutations thereof involving one other person or numerous other people. It was nothing, in fact, to do with enjoyment; rather it was to do with what was the appropriate furtherance of his investigation: he just knew, instinctively, that it was more appropriate to lean in the way described, rather than for him to take up one of the other bodily postures described. He knew, in other words, that it was appropriate to lean towards the gate whilst his left hand continued to move towards his left-hand trouser pocket so that it could retrieve the keys that he knew, now, were, contained therein whilst his right hand continued to move towards his left-hand jacket pocket so as to deposit his left-hand glove within that pocket.