by Rachel Jonas
“So, are you going to explain or should I just start guessing?”
She glanced up for a moment when I asked, and then went back to what she was doing. “These are our research materials,” she shared. “I ordered them as soon as we got off the phone a couple nights ago. Had the shipping expedited so we could get started right away.” Dark strands of hair were moved behind her ears and I imagined she had even more reason to want answers now that she shifted, too.
We hadn’t talked about that, her experience, so I thought now was as good a time as any to ask.
“Are you okay?”
The question made her look up again.
She shrugged it off. “Yeah, I’m cool. I mean, you know, I’d be better if I knew how to lay carpet or patch drywall so my dad didn’t have to bother,” she joked, complete with a smile and all. And it wasn’t the kind meant to mask anything. Just a smile.
“Good.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and skimmed the titles of the books she unloaded.
“So, can I know now?” she sighed. “I mean, since I willingly outed myself by inviting you over this morning, the least you could do is tell me what you are.”
She wasn’t looking at me, but the smile was still there. “Are you a wolf? Like me? Or… is Seaton Falls harboring some other race of supernatural creature I’m not aware of?”
It surprised me that I still hesitated to admit the truth. Even though she and I were, technically, the same. But I nodded, forcing the words, “…Pretty much.”
That answer seemed to satisfy her. One last book slammed down and she tossed the empty box aside. “Cool. Now we know.”
I smiled at that. “Yeah… now we know.” I leaned against the edge of the desk and watched her. “That meeting was crazy, right?”
Roz nodded. “Surreal. But not just because of what we are. Having the adults in this town being so open and honest about things is what’s going to take some getting used to.”
I laughed. “You’re right about that.”
“I mean, granted, it was all still pretty cryptic in my opinion, but at least we know we’re not crazy. Having them acknowledge that the Council even exists is pretty huge.” She paused what she was doing for a moment when something else came to mind. “But what was up with all that talk about ‘being taught a lesson’ and ‘he’s always had his ways of keeping us in check. Even from a distance’?”
I could only shrug, not having any answers for her.
“If I thought my dad would give more info, I’d ask, but that’ll probably never happen,” Roz sighed. “I think what we got today was probably it for a while. Baby steps, I guess.”
“Who knows, maybe we’ll find out more at the meeting next week. You gotta admit, it’ll be kinda cool to see what goes on at one of these things.”
She thought and then shrugged again. “I suppose you’re right. Assuming our show of strength isn’t interpreted as a threat. And, hopefully, whoever makes up this… Council… doesn’t decide to strike back.”
Her comment rendered us both silent for a few seconds as we considered that a real possibility.
“Anyway, I did a little perusing last night after… well… after I did my whole… wrecking ball thing,” she joked. “I couldn’t sleep so I put the time to good use. Found a few things about the autumnal equinox you asked about?”
My ears perked.
“Like what?”
She took a breath and braced her hands on her hips. “Well, for starters, the last time we had a super harvest moon was eighteen years ago—September 23rd, to be exact—and it isn’t likely to happen again for decades, close to a century.”
This was information I already had. What I needed to know was how being born on that day made me different. It was time to come clean with Roz, explain why I’d given her such an abstract thing to check into; however, before I could…
“So, now that you’ve confirmed you’re a wolf, too, I can figure out why your birthday might be significant. I’m assuming this makes you different in some way.” She sat down after her analysis. “Any other info that might make this search a little less painful?”
I didn’t speak right away, unsure of how she realized I was asking for myself.
The way she glanced up left me with the impression that my inability to keep up with her brain’s fast pace annoyed her. “I was at your party at the falls, remember?”
She didn’t wait for a response, just went right back into what she was doing. “…Other info?”
I cleared my throat and braced my hands against the back of her chair, watching over her shoulder as she opened her internet browser.
“Just that I was born right at the stroke of midnight and I came a month earlier than expected,” was the only thing I could add.
Roz’s fingers pecked at the keys. She scrolled page after page for any correlations.
And then, she finally stopped. When her head tilted to the side, I was immediately intrigued.
“What’d you find?”
She shushed me. “One sec…”
I watched her push books aside until she found the one she wanted. A quick glance at the table of contents and she was thumbing through pages, not slowing until she found what she was looking for.
She said two words. “The Liberator.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. “Liberator?”
She nodded, still reading. The suspense was killing me, so I tried, in vain, to read over her shoulder, scanning the dense paragraphs for more information.
“There’s not much here on it,” she sighed. “It makes it clear that you, the Liberator, are different, but it doesn’t give the details on how you’re different—what your abilities are, if there’s a purpose to you being this way, if it’s just some random thing that happens from time to time. It does, however, site a reference to another book. Which means I’ll have to order it and we’ll have to wait… again.”
The news made me feel like I’d go crazy. And knowing that I’d have to wait for an explanation only made matters worse.
I took a deep breath. “Well, what about the beings that smell like smoke? Any luck on that front at least?”
“Nope,” Roz answered, causing my frustration to grow. “It’s kind of hit or miss with the info in these books. You have to really dig through them for what you’re looking for. Give me time to study them a little more and then I’m sure something will stand out. Or at least point us in the right direction.”
The dead ends were maddening.
“Thanks for trying, I guess,” I mumbled, earning myself an eye roll from Roz.
“Thanks for kicking in half the cost of the books, I guess,” was her snide reply as she held her hand out.
Was she seriously asking me for money right now?
It took a moment to realize she was waiting to be reimbursed, and another to realize she wasn’t kidding. I grabbed a fifty from my wallet and slapped it into her palm.
She smiled like someone’s bratty kid sister as she stood from her seat. “You’re a peach. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything else.”
“No matter what time it is,” I shot back as we took the stairs up to the first floor.
“Got it.”
We stood at the front door for a moment and I couldn’t help but to look around at all the damage again. Roz noticed and chuckled.
“You know what the worst part is?” she said quietly, speaking so only she and I could hear. “Insurance doesn’t cover damage done as the result of an animal attack.” She laughed again. “Weird, wolfy things wasn’t all I was up researching last night.”
It was good she could find the humor in this, good she knew she wasn’t by herself. “If you ever need to talk about this or anything… I’ll be around,” I told her.
She nodded and the half smile she gave made it clear she appreciated that. “Cool. Thanks.”
I stepped down from her porch and approached my father’s car with my thoughts reeling after everything I learned today. The lycan
population in Seaton Falls had just exploded overnight, so it’d be interesting to see how things would continue to change. I suspected Roz wasn’t the only friend who transitioned, so my day would be full, checking in on Luke and Chris, our teammates.
Officer Chadwick had made it abundantly clear that our clan needed to stick together because, if things got worse, all any of us would have was each other.
—
Chapter Twenty-Four —
Evie
The sun was shining right on me—bright and annoying as always on mornings I had school—so I kept my eyes closed. Stretching, I yawned and moved my feet beneath the blanket, relishing in the last few seconds I could steal before my alarm went off again.
The week off went by way too quickly, and now it was time to get back to the grind—waking up at an ungodly hour, homework, sessions with Dr. Cruz.
And there was another small issue I had yet to deal with… facing Nick.
After the party, I made it a point to avoid him, ignoring his phone calls and text messages. I just kept to myself, only interacting with my parents when I had to.
What the heck was I supposed to say to him? How could I explain myself without having to string together lies to cover my tracks? And, unfortunately, telling the truth wasn’t an option either. For one, I couldn’t even put the experience into words for myself, let alone try to explain it to someone else.
I turned onto my side, facing my back toward the window to hide from the light that blinded me, even through my closed lids. But it seemed to follow me. It was like the sun was, literally, in my bedroom, right in my face.
So… that’s when I opened my eyes and a scream ripped from my throat.
The sheets, my clothes, my house, everything was going to go up in flames… and it was all because of me.
Flames were quickly spreading up my right arm to my neck. Needless to say, panic set in quickly as I leapt from bed and burst through my bathroom door. With shaky hands, I scrambled to turn on the shower faucet and didn’t bother adjusting the temperature before jumping beneath the stream of cold water. All I knew was I needed to extinguish the flames before I set the entire house on fire.
I was soaked—clothes, hair—but the fire blazed on. My heart was vibrating against my ribcage and I was afraid to open my eyes again. But I did, because I had to be brave, had to face whatever this was head-on. I couldn’t hide from these changes like I hid from Nick.
Shifting was, apparently, a part of me now.
Deep breath.
Deep breath.
I forced myself to look down at my hand and arm as beads of water pelted the tile and my feet. There was no pain last time, none now. But, still, this was… different. As I stared at the dancing orange, white, and blue flames, the water didn’t affect it—one element of no consequence to the other. In the woods that night, I recalled my tears sizzling when they fell, but not today. The water seemed to pass through. Liam mentioned it wouldn’t always be that way. Even now, my clothes hadn’t caught and neither had my bed.
The lightheadedness brought on by breathing so erratically was starting to subside and my pulse slowed.
This is who you are. You can’t hurt yourself.
I exhaled, watching the flames as they dimmed subtly, faded to a dull orange, and then faded altogether. They were gone. Just like that.
Water rained down on me and I braced my shoulder against the wall, wishing I understood everything. Yes, Liam had given me a crash course, but I had no idea how to control this. Any of it.
As much as I thought I needed to stay away from him, he was the only link to my past, the only link to my truth. It just sucked that my truth was locked away within the mind of a guy I felt so undeniably and inexplicably connected to.
Or, in his words… we were tethered.
His name filled my thoughts in a whisper. It was that undiscovered, primitive side of me that had somehow started reaching out to him long before I even realized he was real. He spoke of her, my shifted self, as if we were one.
But it didn’t feel that way.
It felt more like we were two beings sharing one body and, sometimes, those echoes from the past that link her to him bleed through my subconscious—hijacking my senses, reliving a past I can neither remember nor understand.
Because, when I’m coherent and thinking clearly, my thoughts only lingered on one.
Nick.
…Nick.
I had no idea how to act, or what to say, when I saw him in a few. We’d be walking to school together and there wouldn’t be anyone around to deflect the awkwardness I was sure we’d be submerged in.
Actually, for all I knew, I was worrying about this for nothing. Maybe he had no intention to wait for me today. He must be so confused, hurt. The fact that it was all unavoidable, unintentional, didn’t matter a whole lot because, I blew it.
To him, I was sure it looked like we kissed, I got weirded out, and then ran off.
But, to be honest, I thought about that kiss a lot these last few days—really let it sink in how it made me feel, how much I liked him. But now, I wasn’t even sure he’d speak to me.
I finished in the shower and dressed in a daze. Downstairs, I scarfed down a muffin, wiggling my foot beneath the table as I kept an eye on the time. If Nick wasn’t pissed and done with me, he’d be outside by my porch in ten minutes. Things got messed up so quickly, but as disappointed as I was with the state of things between he and I, there were bigger problems. For one, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t ignite at random like I did this morning. It’d go over really well if I burst into flames during lunch.
My spoon stopped midair as the image came to mind. Me, chowing down on a slice of pizza while my hair lit up like the surface of the sun. Now, I created yet another reason to be self-conscious.
Good going, Evie.
There had to be a way to control it and I figured that was probably Liam’s area of expertise. Putting aside my earlier concerns for that feeling—the one that sat deep in the pit of my stomach whenever I thought of him—I’d go to him this afternoon. I couldn’t risk exposing myself, having people think I was a freak.
Or, worse, accidentally hurting someone.
My eyes went to the side pocket of my backpack. There, in the zipped pouch, sat a key. One to a house I had no actual right to have limitless access to, and yet… Liam had handed it over without so much as a glimmer of hesitation. Whatever he remembered about me or… thought… he remembered, it seemed like his trust in me knew no bounds.
I didn’t stay there long, on that thought, because if I did, I’d start feeling emotions I wasn’t even sure belonged to me. For all intents and purposes, they belonged to her.
The echo of the past that still lived within me.
The moment of truth arrived and I stalled a bit, taking the time to wash my bowl out instead of just setting it in the sink like I did most mornings. Hiking the strap of my backpack up my shoulder, I walked toward the front door, seeing a tall, dark shadow before even opening it.
He was here. Waiting for me although I wasn’t entirely sure I deserved it.
It felt like someone poured gasoline on me and tossed the match. While it was relatively cool out this morning, I was sweating bullets beneath my blazer.
What the heck was I supposed to say after all this time? And to think… he was sweet enough, understanding enough, to still wait for me.
When my hands began to shake at my sides, I made them busy, fixing my skirt, pushing a stray curl into the tightly wound bun on top of my head. Anything to keep him from seeing how nervous I was.
I came down a step, forcing myself to speak. “…Hey.”
Piercing blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight when he gave half a smile. “Hey.”
What he must think of me for being so distant…
“Feeling better?”
The question seemed simple enough, but considering everything, there was no simple answer. So, my response was a shrug as I made it down onto the walkway beside him.<
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He turned with me and we took several steps before more words came. And I led with an apology because he was owed that. Because it was the only way to clear the air.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so… distant.” My voice trembled and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt like crap for putting him off all these days.
With both hands in his pockets, Nick watched the stretch of sidewalk ahead of us as he thought. “As long as you’re all right.”
It only added to my guilt that he was being so sweet about all this. Even now, I could tell he had a heap of questions, but he wasn’t unloading any of them. Most guys would’ve given me the third-degree, but not Nick.
“I’ve just had some personal stuff going on, but I’m trying to work through it,” I added.
He nodded this time, but hesitated to speak. Watching as he opened and closed his mouth abruptly made my stomach sink. Maybe he didn’t believe me. While my explanation was vague, it was still true.
“You know you can talk to me about that kind of stuff, right? I mean… you don’t have to, but… if you want to.” His eyes shifted toward me right after making his offer. The gentleness behind the glance made me feel safe.
I nodded. “I know. And I appreciate that.”
He turned straight again as we passed through our neighborhood’s gate. “I’ve had some things going on, too,” he shared. “A lot has changed in a short amount of time.”
I could relate to that completely.
“I’ve thought about just… telling you everything. You know, getting it all out in the open simply because I need to or I’ll explode,” he chuckled. “So… maybe we both need that. To purge.”
My stomach had been in knots, my shoulders tense, and I was positive it was from keeping such a major secret. And, while purging was such a freeing idea, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I could practically hear him laughing at me now if I told him what I was. Like some kid who’s convinced herself she’s a superhero in real life. I couldn’t take him looking at me like a joke.
But, then again, what might have been worse would be having him believe me.