Fractured Hearts

by SJD Peterson

Charlie laid a hand on each side of his face and returned his gaze with a fierce one of her own, her voice firm. “I promise, Kegan. I won’t leave the house without one of you with me.”

  He grabbed her and covered her mouth with a desperate kiss. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were tear-filled. “Thank you. I can’t lose you again, Charlie. I won’t lose you again because of that spineless son of a bitch.”

  He was breaking her heart. “You’re not going to lose me because of him.” The instant Charlie had said the words, she realized her mistake as pain flashed briefly in Kegan’s eyes.

  Neither Kegan nor Trevor knew about the decision she had made when it came to a future for them. The sheer sadness in his beautiful eyes almost had her confessing to them on the spot, but she stopped herself. She didn’t want the beginning of their lives together to be overshadowed by Drake Colburn, nor did she want the happiest moment of her life to be any part of a memory that included his evil.

  She would tell these two protective, loving and amazing men how she truly felt about them as she had planned. But only when it was all about them and could only be remembered as a happy memory.

  She leaned in and kissed Kegan’s brow gently, then feathered her fingers against the lines until he relaxed a little. “You’re not going to lose me,” she whispered against his lips then nuzzled into his chest.

  She hoped her body conveyed exactly how much she truly loved him without giving away her secrets.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Charlie found herself astride a bareback Taz, Kegan’s favorite stallion. Taz, short for Taz-Mania, was the same stallion she had been drawn to the first day she’d been at the ranch.

  It was easy to see why Kegan was so fond of the animal. They were identical in the fact that both were magnificent to look at with large, well-defined muscles under a handsome exterior. There was such power just below the surface that was controlled with an iron-clad will. The other similarity was that deep beneath it, they both possessed the sweetest disposition. Their need to be touched, snuggled and physically close to someone seemed more important to them than the show of power, thus making control a little easier to manage.

  The twin in question to Taz was currently against her back, his hands lightly caressing the inside of her thighs.

  Charlie tried to concentrate on her surroundings. The mid-spring blooming frenzy was in full swing and gave the fields and bordering woods a fresh feeling. Scents of new growth and rebirth moving with the wind made everything seem so alive. The mountains set as a backdrop to an already spectacular view should have been enough to keep her attention. But the only thing that she could concentrate on was Kegan’s heat and the play of his hands as they swayed together in sync with Taz’s graceful stride. She had a hard time controlling her body when she was around Kegan. She seemed to have the same effect on him, as was evident with how happy his body seemed pressed against hers. Some parts lower seemed to be very, very happy.

  “I thought you said you wanted to show me your land?”

  “I thought that was what we were doing.” His voice was deeper than it should have been just from enjoying the sights.

  “You know exactly what you’re doing and it’s not sightseeing.”

  He pushed up a little closer against her, and his lips played along her neck. His warm breath made her skin tingle as he spoke, “I’ve already had the tour, and I’m enjoying the beautiful sights right here in my arms much more.”

  Charlie still had a very difficult time with the compliments Trevor and Kegan gave her, as if they just couldn’t help themselves. She wasn’t sure if the compliments made her feel uneasy because of their past with women or her own insecurities. It was easier to believe the first since she had a hard time believing that they found her as beautiful as they claimed. She did what she did most of the time with their compliments, blushed and ignored it.

  They dismounted near a creek that ran through a grove of trees. After securing Taz and feeding him apples, Kegan spread out a blanket where they would get the full effect of the warm spring sun.

  Charlie watched as he removed his boots and stretched out on his back. His movements were amazingly graceful, which shouldn’t have been possible with a body so taut with thick muscle. Charlie’s pulse quickened and her body responded with warmth as Kegan gave her a come-hither look and motioned her over.

  She sat on the edge of the blanket and removed her boots without looking at him. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt so unsure, but for some reason she was nervous. She fiddled with arranging her boots, delayed going to Kegan, but why? Was it because Trevor wasn’t here to push them along as he usually did? He always seemed to set the pace, never let Kegan or her think about anything too long. He pushed them along with a flow of sensations and encouraged them to feel instead of think.

  “Charlie, is there something wrong?”

  “No, I’m fine. I think I’m just still feeling a little jittery after last night.” She moved back and lay down next to Kegan, unable to look at him, and stared up at the white marshmallow clouds set against the bright-blue backdrop.

  She wasn’t being totally untruthful. They had all been a little nervous after finding out what Drake had threatened and none of them had slept very soundly. She didn’t want to have to think about Drake this morning or the dread deep inside her. She wanted this morning to be just about her and Kegan.

  She looked over at him. He was as tense as the night before, with the same haunted look in his eyes. “Hey, stop that. No ugly thoughts this morning. I’m sorry I brought it up.” She took his hand and laid it on her stomach, covered it with her own. “So how did you get out of the heavy negotiations with the Kentucky breeders?”

  Kegan looked at her and blinked slowly a couple of times as if to clear his head. A slight smile played at the edge of his mouth. “Trevor pulled the short straw.”

  “You mean you gambled to see who would get babysitting duty?”

  “No, we gambled to see who would get the privilege of spending the day with you. I have a feeling Trevor may have drawn the short straw on purpose.”

  Charlie couldn’t control her body as it tensed at the thought that Trevor didn’t want to spend the day with her. She knew he probably had his reasons but old insecurities were hard to overcome.

  Kegan must have felt her tense because he quickly added, “It’s not that he didn’t want to spend the day with you, I think he just knew I needed it more than he did today.” He traced small circles on her stomach with his fingertips. “I know everyone thinks Trevor is just a playboy, and up until recently I probably would have agreed with them. But I’ve never seen him react to anyone the way he does you. Hell, I don’t think he has ever gone on a second date with a woman, and now it’s like he can’t get enough time with you to satisfy himself.”

  “Are you trying to make me feel better?”

  “No. I mean yes, I do want you to feel better but it’s still true. You have the same effect on him that you’ve always had on me.”

  “What effect would that be, Kegan? Make me love him and he leaves—” Charlie knew she sometimes spoke before fully thinking. She regretted it even more when she saw the effect it had on him. Kegan looked stunned and hurting. “I’m sorry… I don’t know why I said that, I didn’t mean that.” It had been a mean thing to say but it was like a freight train without brakes.

  Kegan’s face crumbled and his sapphire blue eyes lost most of the shine that had been there only a moment before. God, how could she have been so cruel to him? Was she trying to push him away as she had with everyone else in her life since she was young?

  “It’s okay, Charlie, I know you didn’t intend to say that, but you did mean it.”

  “Kegan…”

  He held up his hand. “I deserved it. You couldn’t have known how I felt about you back then and you did what anyone would have done… Hate the person who hurt you.”

  Charlie turned fully on her side, met his gaze, let the love she felt for him shine throug
h. “I don’t hate you. I tried, and at times I thought I had succeeded, but I never could truly hate you. Sometimes I wanted to hurt you so badly, wanted you to feel some of the pain I was living with. That’s still no excuse for what I just said to you. It’s my stupid insecurities coming through. I can be such an ass sometimes. I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, then pressed a kiss to his cheek.

  Kegan snuggled in a little closer, his fingers playing along her back. “You don’t have to apologize, Charlie. You still don’t trust me yet. I get that, hell, I understand, I’m just glad you’re at least giving me a chance to try and make up for leaving. I do know about pain and hate.”

  He laid his head down on his arm, his gaze locked with hers. “I hated my father every day for what he did to those women and to me, but I hated him even more for causing me to lose you. I know what it’s like to miss someone so much the pain in your heart feels like it’s going to crush you. I know what it feels like because that is how I felt when I left you. I know it was my choice and that almost made it worse. Knowing that I was the one who walked away, who wasn’t man enough or stronger to keep a promise. I will regret that for the rest of my life—”

  Charlie stopped him by pressing her lips against his. She hadn’t really wanted to hurt him or bring up the past, but now that she had, she wanted to make it up to him. Even more than that, she wanted to show him how much she loved him. How much she wanted him here and now.

  Kegan responded to the kiss with an urgency that was almost frightening. He took command of it and deepened it like his whole life depended on it. He explored her mouth as if he were trying to memorize every inch of it with his tongue. He pulled her to him at the same time he pushed toward her, their bodies melding together.

  Clothes flew off in a blur as they searched frantically for the skin underneath. His body was an oasis in the middle of a desert and without it, she would die from the heat that consumed her.

  The frenzy ended with Kegan on top of her, their naked bodies pressed together, each trying to touch as much skin as they could. Kegan looked down at her and she was lost. In this one perfect moment, everything seemed crystal clear and neither the past nor the future mattered. There was only them and nothing else existed.

  Kegan took her mouth again in a slow, sweet kiss, as soft and as gentle as the last had been hard and hungry. His body rocked against hers, encouraging her to respond to the gentleness of his movements.

  Her heart rate and breathing slowed from the fevered pace and the rush of blood in her ears cleared. Charlie was acutely aware of every touch, every bead of sweat that formed on her body and either rolled across her skin or mingled and melted into his. The taste of his mouth was more intense, the slide of his tongue even more intimate.

  His lower body pulled away from hers as he broke the kiss. He stared down into her eyes and held her gaze as he entered her agonizingly slowly. She felt every ridge and inch of him push past her opening. The delicate look on his face, the tenderness in his eyes increased the effects his body had on hers and she experienced the strangest desire to scream her pleasure and weep at the same time as she looked at him.

  As much as she had grown to love Trevor, this was what she had dreamed of. This moment between just her and Kegan had been what she had prayed for. The reality of it was better than any fantasy she could have ever conjured up in her limited imaginings.

  Kegan pushed the last of himself into her and lowered his body against hers, grasped her hands in his and stretched their arms up over her head so that even the skin of their arms were in an intimate embrace.

  He rocked inside and out, surrounding her. Charlie gave herself over to him completely. The slow dance of their bodies caressed places deep inside that no one had ever touched. It was not only an entwining of skin and flesh but of heart and soul. She wanted to stay in this moment forever, but at the same time, she wanted more, needed him deeper inside, and pressed harder against him.

  Charlie wrapped her legs around his waist, and the new angle made them both gasp. He began to pull out of her body farther with each stroke and push back inside her with more strength each time. The walls of her sex began to contract and clutch at him, desperate to keep him buried deep within her.

  Heat washed over her and ran from the base of her neck down her spine, and she knew she was unable to stop or contain it. Her core grasped him tight as the world around her exploded in brilliant flashes of light.

  Her breathing hitched and even her heart stopped for an instant as pleasure consumed every inch of her flesh, then pushed beyond it as she heard her name like a sigh from Kegan’s lips. His heat filled her with a warm rush that bathed her.

  Kegan collapsed next to her while they fought to catch their breaths and basked in the afterglow of sensations.

  Sensations so big and amazing that even while she was experiencing them, there were no words to describe them.

  Kegan rolled to his side, pulling Charlie along with him, unable to let go of her even for a second. Jesus, the way she made him feel, as if he was the luckiest fucking man in the world… He supposed he rightly was.

  With her and Trevor in his life, his own piece of land and a job he loved, he couldn’t imagine there was anyone happier than he was at this moment. Charlie completed him. No, she completed both him and Trevor. It was as if a part of him had been missing and he hadn’t even realized it until he’d found her again.

  He looked down at a Charlie all snuggled up close, a content look—like the cat that had just got the cream—her skin all flushed and glowing, beads of perspiration glistening in the sun. He gave in to the temptation and licked the sweat from her neck, savored the taste of her sweet skin.

  She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him with a sated smile. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.” He kissed her lightly on the lips and spoke against them. “That was amazing.”

  “Mmm hmm. You can say that again.”

  “Not bad for my first time, huh?”

  Charlie looked at him, puzzled, and he chuckled. “First time what?”

  “Making love with a woman.”

  Charlie pulled back, looked him square in the eye, and started to laugh. “Okay, and the punchline is what?”

  “No punchline, I’m dead serious. I have never made love to anyone alone. Hell, I’ve never even had sex with anyone alone. I think I was pretty amazing at it and totally feeling studly here.” He leaned in and licked her pouty lips.

  Charlie slapped his arm. “Yeah, you were totally a stud but you don’t need to try and make it more than what it was—spine-tingling, mind-blowing and amazing. You don’t need to feed me a line of bull to make it even more perfect. Besides, did you forget that I’ve known you most of your life, including your teenage years, so I know about Emily Thornton.” She frowned and muttered, “The bitch!”

  Emily Thornton? Oh shit! He hadn’t thought about her in years. Christ, she had been as bad as Charlie had when she was younger, always following him around. However, Emily had been a grown woman, one who had a damn hard time taking no for an answer. He hadn’t minded Charlie following him around, had come to look forward to it even when she was still in those silly little ponytails, but he had minded the way Emily had sniffed after him.

  “Emily Thornton? If I didn’t know you any better, bichito, I’d swear you sound jealous.”

  Charlie pushed him away, sat up, then reached for her clothes. “I’m not jealous,” she huffed but the tone of her voice and the frown that creased her brow told otherwise.

  Kegan snatched her clothes from her, threw them over his shoulder out of her reach and pushed her back down. “Aww, Charlie, you are. That’s so cute. I knew you always hated Emily, but I thought it was just because she was a spoiled rotten brat who didn’t use any of the sense God gave her, not because of me. Hell, I only went out with her the one time and it was enough.”

  Charlie’s frown deepened. She looked up at him as if she could find the truth somewhere hidden in the lines of his face or the
flecks of color in his eyes. “You really didn’t sleep with Emily Thornton?”

  Kegan shook his head from side to side. “Nope.”

  “Jesus, Kegan, you knew the whole school was talking about the two of you! If I remember right, I didn’t talk to you for nearly a month after I heard the rumors. You let everyone believe that you did… Dammit, you let me believe it and… Oh my God! The mess I made of her pretty little sports car.”

  He laughed his fool head off. He remembered Emily’s car after someone had scratched the paint. Hell, he’d been standing against Matt Crosby’s pickup just two cars down when she had come out of the school and seen it for the first time. She’d been so mad she’d jumped up and down and screamed shit that would make a sailor blush. And the look on her face… He had thought for sure that when her skin went from red to purple, her head was gonna explode right then and there.

  He’d known Charlie had been the one to do it and as good as he could figure, Emily had deserved it, maybe not because of the rumors, but just because of the way she had treated Charlie. Emily had always looked down her nose at Charlie and called her a pathetic little wannabe. Charlie had only done what half the girls in that school had wanted to do.

  He couldn’t help but laugh harder when he looked at the little hellcat in his arms who had been spirited enough to do it.

  Tears of laughter rolled down his face as Charlie slapped him again good and hard. “Ow.”

  “Kegan Colburn, you stop laughing right this second. It is so not funny.” Charlie could barely contain her own laughter, her shoulders shaking with the effort. “Why would you let everyone think you and Emily did the nasty? God, I destroyed her car because… Why the hell didn’t you say something?”

  “What was I was going to say to you? You were fifteen and I was just figuring out for the first time that you weren’t just some little bug but someone who stirred all kinds of feelings in me. I couldn’t tell you. Jesus, Charlie, I was eighteen and still a virgin. I wasn’t about to admit to any of the guys that I wasn’t the greatest lover she’d ever had when half of them had already said they’d been in her bed. Instead of saying they were either a bunch of damn lying fools who hadn’t ever touched her or they sucked so bad at it that a virgin was better than anything they’d done with her, I kept my mouth shut and let them think what they wanted.”