by Mann, Cat
Quickly, the words of my mother filled my ears, “You aren’t safe. You aren’t done. Be careful who you trust.” I swallowed my panic down and closed my eyes. The mattress shifted and squeaked and I felt him move even closer to me and my eyes shot back open. Giving me an intensely sweet look, as though promising me he meant no harm, he slowly put his arms around my neck and began to untie my hospital gown. He moved my hair across my left shoulder allowing it to cascade down my side.
“Are you still okay, Ava?”
“Yes.”
He blinked down at me and gave me a very small smile. He softly pulled the hospital sleeve on my right arm down from my shoulder and off my arm, revealing my bare skin and a certain intimacy that gave me pause, but he didn’t move away.
“Ava, there were people in your life who are no longer with you. But they will always remain in your heart.”
He showed me my bare arm. On it was a flock of beautiful birds taking flight, up towards the sky. Gaping at my own strange skin, my heart pounded. He pointed to the first and said, “This is your father.” Next he caressed the second bird in flight and said, “This is your mother and here is Perry.” With a soft and delicate touch, he finally motioned to the last, “and this is Mia.”
“Mia?” I whimpered.
“I am so sorry,” he said as wiping tears from my cheeks.
“Ava, you may not remember me, but our love is unlike any other. I made a promise to you that I would never leave your side, never make you cry and never stop loving you. I intend to keep those promises. Forever.”
He stood up, crossed over to the window and pulled up the shade to reveal a group of people, all of whom were crying. Then he came back to my side.
“That is your family, Ava. We all love you.”
I looked out at them, blinked at them, gazed at their sad faces, I knew no one.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you. I think you should leave. All of you.”
He closed his eyes, put his fists in his hair and pulled while he let out a sigh of frustration. A tear slipped from his eye and ran down his cheek. I noticed a little wrinkle on his forehead that seemed so out of place for such a beautiful person. His jaw was square and firm and his nose was perfectly straight. The color of cream, his skin was so clear, so pretty. I could not deal with the pain I was causing this person by not remembering him. Slowly, my eyes traced their way down his face, towards his very soft-looking pink lips. I stopped abruptly at a rosy colored scar just below his bottom lip.
A sudden flash of heat overcame me and my mind was filled with images of the two of us in a moment of passion. He and I in bed, our limbs tangled up together, my fingernails ripping through the flesh on his back. My teeth on that lip; I could taste his mouth on my tongue. My cheeks burned red hot, and my stomach did flip after flip. I slowly moved my hand up to him and placed my finger on his small scar, willing myself to remember more. His eyes shot open at my touch. A small smile crept across his lips and hope twinkled in his eyes. I climbed onto my knees so I could get even closer and my mind showed me picture after picture of the two of us together...
...Our first kiss, private moments spent tucked away in bed, texts with x’s and o’s, lying on a beach, swinging gently on a hammock, laughing, kissing, crying, our wedding day, and our wedding night. My mind allowed me to see all of him and I knew that I loved this man more than I loved anything in the world. I threw my arms around Ari and pressed my lips to his. Knotting my hands up in the back of his shirt, I breathed him in. His scent was a drug and I was an addict. Parting my lips, I kissed him as fully as I could, wanting to never stop. Cheers rang out from the hallway and distracted me, but Ari pulled me in tighter, refusing to break our embrace.
“Oh, God, Ava,” he trembled, “don’t ever do this to me again.” Ari let go of what remaining strength he had and cried into my hair.
Chapter 3
Remember
Ari pulled down the shade of the window that peered into the waiting room. With dark circles under his eyes and clothes that were uncharacteristically unkempt, Ari looked exhausted. His hair flopped down onto his forehead. His shoulders were tight with tension.
“You look tired,” I said quietly.
Ari let out a long breath between his lips.
“I am,” he said, and his eyes closed when he spoke. In that moment, my strong man looked like a scared boy.
“Ari, will you do something for me?”
His eyes fluttered back open and he looked at me longingly.
“Anything.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.” He came to my side, worry radiating off him in waves. His eyes bounced around my body, searching for a way to help me.
I moved over in my little hospital bed.
“Hold me.”
His shoulders loosened slightly and he smiled a bit.
“I can’t, Baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” He gently rubbed his thumb across my cheek.
“Please.”
His eyes were so dark and heavy. I could tell he was struggling to keep them open.
“Please.”
Giving in to my request, Ari slipped off his shoes, he crawled into my bed and curled his body softy around mine, cradling my head to his chest. He ran his fingers gently around the outline of my lips and the crease of my eyelids.
“What happened to me, Ari?”
He stopped moving his fingers.
“Ava, I don’t think...” he paused. “I mean, I don’t know how to tell you just yet. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
“Ok,” I said dropping the subject.
Ari fell asleep moments later. I listened to the gentle thump of his heartbeat, and the soothing sound of his soft breathing. His chest moved ever so slightly with the rhythm of his breaths.
I wanted to touch him, run my fingers through his unruly hair and across his soft lips but my hand throbbed. I hurt all over; my head was pounding and my side ached with every breath I took. Snuggling my face in to his warm chest, I fell asleep.
When I awoke the next day, I was still wrapped up in Ari. He was awake and he looked and smelled clean. His hair, no longer drooping down over his eyes, was back to its original messy state that stuck up everywhere. He had changed his clothes into clean jeans and a tee-shirt. He was propped up on his free hand and stared off into the distance while he ran his fingers through my hair. His face was still worried, though, and he still had that little wrinkle in his forehead. I lifted my hand and smoothed his forehead out with the backs of my fingers. Smiling down on me, he took my hand, kissed it and put it back at my side.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Alexander. Sleep well?”
“You left?”
Ari shook his head no.
“I didn’t leave. I used your shower.” He nodded his head in the direction of the en suite bathroom.
“My parents brought up some clothes for me while you were still asleep this morning. They sat with you for about five minutes. I hope that was okay.”
I nodded. I did not remember his parents.
“I need to let Dr. Phillips know you’re awake.”
Anxiety took hold of me and I stiffened – I didn’t want Ari leaving me; I was so scared.
Ari kissed my forehead, picked up a phone near the bed and called the nurse’s station. I let out a shaky breath and he looked down at me, concern on his face.
Moments later, the doctor arrived with a too-eager-to-help smile. He looked me over in a general way and then said he thought I could have more visitors once I had eaten. He checked my eyes with his flashlight again, took blood pressure, checked my pulse and went over a long list of my injuries.
With five broken ribs and three cracked ones, rope burns around my neck, a deep wound on my wrist and burns on my left hand; it was needless to say that I had somehow been severely injured. There were two hairline fractures on my skull but no readily discernible damage to my brain. I was in a coma due to brain edema. Once the swelling reduced, they were able to remo
ve me from a ventilator. My head injury seemed to be not as bad as initially thought; though Dr. Phillips warned me, something could possibly show up later. Dr. Phillips stated again that I had been involved in a very traumatizing series of events and that my failure to remember my past was just part of my mind trying to protect itself. He said that I would most certainly have to deal with some post-traumatic stress in the months that followed and that it may take some time for me to regain all of my memories.
“What happened to me?” I asked the doctor. I couldn’t help it. I had to know why I felt as scared – no, as terrified, as I did. He looked from me over to Ari. Ari nodded at him and Dr. Phillips patted him on the shoulder and left.
“Ava,” Ari took in a breath, “you were kidnapped the day after our wedding. You were held captive in a small house out in the hills; you were actually just a few miles away from home the whole time. We found you almost a week later. I don’t know what happened to you while you were gone except that you had been grievously hurt. You are the only one who can tell us what happened.”
“Who kidnapped me? Who would do something like this?”
Ari frowned. “His name is Damien Kakos. You would know him as No. 6 though. You like to dehumanize the Kakos as much as you can. He had five brothers.”
I scrunched my face up and shook my head trying to remember. I looked at the five black tally marks on my left wrist.
“What happened before that?”
Ari shook his head, “do you remember your dreams?”
I stared at him, blinked and then tried to look away. I do not talk about my dreams with anyone.
“I know about them, Ava. The scissors. The people and their screaming. You’ve told me about them before. You are Greek. You are more than Greek you are the descendent from Atropos… The Fates. Those men knew who you were and they wanted to destroy you. But you beat them. You won. I don’t really know how… you never shared that information with me. I only that you killed them, Ava. The first two kidnapped my sister and you went after them. One was shot to death the second hanged. I don’t really know about the rest – only what the news reported. No. 3 was pretty gruesome. No. 4 not so much. No. 5 was… intense. There are some things, Ava, that you would not tell even me. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.”
“There are more… these men, are there more of them?”
“No… you are done.”
Scrunching my nose in thought, I remembered, once again, the words my mother had spoken to me. I was not safe, I was not done. Ari was wrong.
As the day lead on, I was able to remember odd details of my life and I worked at piecing them together. I remembered scenes from London, and as soon as I remembered London, I thought of August.
“I remember someone,” I said. My words brought a smile to Ari’s face.
“That’s great, Ava! Who?”
“August! Where is he?”
Ari’s smile faltered a bit and he laughed.
“Oh, August is going to love this. He’s at our house right now, but he’ll be up here a bit later to see you.”
“Ok,” I smiled.
The nurse (I already decided I hated her), popped in and checked my fluids. She then turned to Ari and flashed him another toothy smile.
“We’re going to need a DNA sample from you.”
“It can wait,” he responded coldly.
“Well, no, I am afraid it can’t. It won’t take but a few minutes; the lab is just down the hall.”
“Well, yes, it can and it will wait, until someone else is here and able to sit with her.”
The nurse’s cheeks turned red and she looked down at her hands.
“Yes, sir, I will bring Mrs. Alexander some lunch. When you both feel more comfortable, I can take you down there.”
“I know where the lab is,” Ari snapped, “and we’ll order her lunch from here.” The nurse nodded then left.
“What was that about?”
Ari closed his eyes and shook his head.
“It’s nothing, Ava. They found traces of rohypnol in your system and they found DNA in your body that was not from you. They’re just ruling some things out…that’s all.”
“Oh.” I looked down in my lap.
“Hey Baby, it’s going to be ok.” He put his hand on my chin and kissed me softly on the lips. “We are going to get through all of this together.”
“Mm hmm.”
“Hungry?”
“Mm hmm.”
Ari picked up the phone by the bed and ordered my lunch.
I ate a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich on whole wheat bread and then worked a bit on a cup of tomato soup. Ari’s mom and dad came in to see me after lunch. They were still not quite in my brain’s focus. I could not quite place them, but they did seem familiar. My attention was caught by the sound of Ari’s mom crying and I tilted my head to the side to look at her curiously.
“I saw you,” I said to her. “I saw you on the beach. You were holding a candle and the sky was full of lights.” They all three looked at me as if I were nuts.
“What?” I said indignantly. “I saw her, I swear. She was crying and she hugged him,” I said pointing to Ari’s dad. “I saw it.”
His dad’s jaw dropped. “The news,” he said, shocked. “That was on the news; she saw the footage.”
I shrugged. “I guess I don’t remember that what I saw was from TV. It seemed so real to me.”
Ari said, “I can’t believe you actually saw that! Do you remember anything else?”
Wrinkling my forehead, I tried to think of something… anything.
“No, sorry.”
“It’s ok, Baby, you will. Slow and steady. That’s the best way for your memory to recover.”
His parents stayed with me for a long while, talking to me and telling me little stories about the first time they met me, and about moments we had all shared together. They re-capped their family history for me, showing me who they were with their family stories. I vaguely remembered some details, but the memories were fuzzy.
“Oh, Ava Baby,” Ari’s mom said, “we just love you so much.”
“Love,” I cocked my head to the side again. “All tonight is, is love, Baby, nothing else but love,” I quoted her from my wedding day. Her kind words had helped get me through the day.
A giant smile spread across all of their faces.
“You remember?” Aggie asked softly.
I nodded my head.
“I will never forget, Aggie. I love you and Andy so much.”
She wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug and when she finally let go, Andy stepped up to take her place.
August knocked on the door and I beamed up at him. I did not need any help remembering his face, maybe because he was tied to such a dark part of my life. The sad, hard moments were harder for me to forget I guess. I remembered the awful events of August in London and the two deaths that came before the trip. I even remembered how August had had a hand in the killing of No. 4. Ari slipped out of the room when August and I started talking. I could see the worry in Ari’s eyes.
“Ava, I have to go back home to France,” August said, delivering mind-numbing news. “I am going to be there for a while with my family. I’ll be looking for jobs in California, and as soon as I land one, I will be back, okay? I promise.”
I frowned and August laughed.
“I had no idea you cared so much, but don’t worry, Ava, your husband has already given me permission to crash in your pool house. We get to be roomies again!”
I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. Only August would beg Ari, at a time like this, to let him live with us. That was why I loved him.
He was catching a flight right away and I was going to miss him terribly. I knew August would be back; there would be no keeping us apart.
Ari returned minutes later and August pulled him in to a hug. They exchanged a quiet goodbye, August smiled back at me and left.
Exhausted and in pain, I was still able to convince Ari that I was
fine so he would hold me again. His parents stuck around until the evening, then left to let me rest.
The next morning Lauren came in, crying, with Julia behind her. Rain had been falling steadily all morning and I could hear the squeak of their wet shoes on the tiled floor of the hall long before the two girls came in my room. I set about comforting Lauren as best I could...she needed it more than I did. Julia painted my toenails and brought me some of the clothes I had asked her to bring.
“I looked everywhere for your Cubs shirt, Baby, but I couldn’t find it,” she said.
Ari shot her a warning look and she gulped and shut up.
My dear grandmother Margaux came for a visit, too. She was dressed in a flowing summer dress, slightly the worse for having been rained on, and, as usual, improbably high heels. Oh, and huge, sparkly, yellow diamond studded earrings. After setting a vase full of cut flowers on my stand, she immediately turned to talk with Ari. Shortly after, she saw herself out of my room.
Toothy nurse came to my room and removed some of my bandages and my IV. She said I could shower if I wanted to and even change out of my hospital gown. Ari offered to come with me to the bathroom to help me clean up, but I refused. I asked Aggie to help me instead.
My declining his help hurt Ari’s feelings, but I didn’t want him to see my bruised and beaten body. I didn’t want those images of me in his head.
Ari helped me out of bed and holding his arm, I shuffled slowly to the bathroom. I ached all over and my legs were beyond weak. Aggie was waiting for me at the bathroom door, but Ari was hesitant to turn me over to her. Aggie put her hand on Ari’s cheek and smiled up at him reassuringly.
“I’ll be right here,” he said, pointing to the spot just outside the bathroom door.
“We know, Honey,” Aggie said to Ari as she took my hand. She closed the door behind him and helped me out of my hospital gown.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I was appalled at what I saw. I was much worse than I had expected. My left side was completely black and blue. I had broken the same ribs that had been hurt the last time, only much more seriously. My point of balance was nonexistent and I wobbled even when standing still; walking by myself was impossible.