by a dagmara
“I thought you didn’t break promises”
Hovering over him, I bit my lip as I wanted to kiss him, but would not.
“You haven’t earned it. Not yet”
“I would disagree”
“Fucking well was not a way of earning my kiss Charlie,” I offered with a grin.
Bucking me, he was still deep in me. I lost my balance and he flipped me on my back pinning me under his weight.
“Suppose I just take it?” he grinned with promise.
“It won’t be the same.”
Lowering down to my jaw, he kissed me leaving me with an impression of how his lips would feel on mine.
“I can wait. Can you?” he offered with confidence.
“I’m a very patient woman, I’ve waited seven years to cross your path, I think I can manage.”
Pulling up he cocked his head to the side in shock.
“You are truly a mystery Lilly, an exquisite one at best.”
He lowered his head and pulled out from me.
“Where’s your bathroom?”
“Straight back.” I motioned with my hand.
He lifted up off me and went into the bathroom. Returning to the bed, He grinned at me.
“Spread your legs.” He ordered.
I knew what he was up to and did as he commanded.
His eyes locked in mine; he wiped the evidence that was at my center. I was waiting for him to ask the one question he should have earlier. But, he didn’t.
I pulled up off the bed and found my robe. Dear lord, I wasn’t on birth control and in my haste to fulfill my needs, I didn’t stop him. Shit. This wasn’t good. Walking to the closet, I knew I had a pair of lounge drawstring pants that belonged to Brady and a t-shirt. Walking back to the bed, I handed him the clothes. Needing a moment to calm my nerves, I sucked in a cleansing breath. This will be ok, it has to be. There was always the plan b pill. I can just do that. Finding my center, I walked back to the room; Charlie was content and somewhat lost in his own mind laying in my bed. Placing the clothes on the bed, he looked full sated as he turned his eyes to me.
“Their Brady’s as he stays with me often. Moreover, no not like this. He’s like my brother and I love him as one.”
“Good to know.”
Sucking in a deep breath, he dressed and stood up to me.
“Are you hungry Charlie?”
I turned and walked to the kitchen. I knew he was behind me. Looking to him, he paused in the family room. His arms were crossed and his body slighted towards the view of the patio. Charlie appeared to be lost in his own thoughts. Based on his expression, something had him frozen. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking at the moment. What I did know was that I was not expecting him to share.
Chapter 10
Night turned to morning, waking my tired mind. I was rightfully exhausted from our endless play. Sex in the kitchen, family room and then back in the bedroom, he had worked me over all night.
Part of me felt as if I would wake again to realize it was just another dream. However, it was not. I am living this reality. Turning to the right of me, there he laid, Charlie Vaihn. His arms wrapped possessively around me.
Charlie was a man I understood but did not truly know. I was relying on what I hoped he to be, could be, a dream of a man I wanted. Foolish, yet I needed to let go and see where this would lead. The need to just trust my instincts was my motivation.
Was I scared? Yes, the fear and doubt lingered. He had the means and motivation to hurt me. He admittedly had always held issue with me.
Would he get past it? I had no idea of knowing. There was a good chance that he would not. He thought this to be game, even after I had professed it not to be for me.
Pulling up from the bed quietly, I had the need to go for a run and clear my head. I moved to the closet and changed. My hips and legs were so sore, evidence of last night’s events. I left a note in the event he woke before I returned. I wasn’t too sure that he would be here when I came back. Perhaps, it would be better that he not be here.
I stepped from the house taking in a deep breath. The air cool and crisp as the sun was just now lifting into the sky. I turned my ear buds in and made why down the driveway.
A five-mile run was precisely what my body needed. As for my mind, it was still riddled with so many questions and no answers.
Walking back into the house, I was unsure if he would still be here. I unzipped my thin jacket and pulled it off laying it on the sofa. Turning back to the foyer and remembering the clothes that had laid there were now gone. He must have left.
“Henry, IPod, playlist labeled home” I ordered.
The music, my companion, turned on and echoed thru the house. Michael Buble-“Hold on” streamed. It was ironic in many ways and spoke to the point.
I went to the French doors and opened them fully as the weather was perfect for it.
Now that I had folded my hand, the agency no longer a cover, I could be me and run my Holdings Company in the open. It was still early and would provide me a few more hours before I would step into my position. I would have a lot to go over today. I was grateful for having the office here. It was normal for me not to show myself in the office and I liked the freedom of working from home.
Still standing in the frame of the door and looking out beyond the property the coffee maker beeped announcing its completion.
I didn’t set the coffee maker? This would be the second morning in a row now that coffee was made for me. Charlie
Shaking my head, I walked to the kitchen. I couldn’t help but grin. It was very thoughtful of him.
Noticing the coffee mug on the counter a note sat next to it.
“Hope you had a good run this morning. I made coffee for you. Charlie”
Placing the card back down on the counter, I shook my head again. What was I doing with this man?
I almost wanted to laugh; Air Supply now took over “making Love out of nothing”. Shit, I was amused. Amused, with all that brought me to this point, my dreams, my scheming, just to let it all go. Yes, I was very amused with myself.
Looking back to the living room, a memory formed.
It was Charlie. Standing in the same place, he stood last night. My memory moved to the patio. I was fifteen running up the lawn and tripped. Charlie ran out to help me up. My knee was bleeding and he picked me up into his arms. He was so careful with me as he reached the patio and placed me on the lounge chair. I remember the way he looked at me. Caring, he held almost a shocked expression as if he didn’t expect to feel whatever he was feeling.
He had cupped my cheek as I was crying. His father had approached. With a firm voice, he had scolded him stating that he should keep his distance from me. His father added that Charlie was not to ever get any ideas that he was good enough for me.
Remembering Charlie’s expression and his eyes holding that pain, the care turning to envy. His father came up and lifted me, carrying me into the house.
The memory faded.
That was it…the same look he held when he looked at me now; I hadn’t realized until now. He had been always told that he wasn’t good enough. More importantly, he wasn’t good enough for me.
Looking back to the note, this was his small attempt of showing a little care for me. How would I prove to him that his father was wrong?
Walking from the kitchen to my room, I needed a shower. I felt overwhelmed with all that was happening or had happened. I wasn’t too sure if I would even see him again. Last night was starting to feel like a one night stand.
Perhaps it was me, assuming it was to shield myself from the disappointment of having any expectations.
Finishing my shower and dressing in jeans and a t-shirt, I had some more unpacking to do and errands to run. The morning was quick and now afternoon.
One thought finally registered. Unprotected sex and pregnancy, was I ok with taking that chance? Remembering my dream and the pain of loss, the answer was clear. No, I was not ok with it. In a rush I grabbed my purse and
thru my hair up in a baseball cap. I needed to get to the pharmacy. I needed to pick up the “morning after” pill. Never once would I have thought I would ever put myself in this position. Last night I had and knowingly.
Jumping into the Range Rover, I put my keys in the ignition. The car wouldn’t turn over.
Really? What the fuck?
I jumped out and opened the hood. This was brand new car. Looking at the engine, someone disconnected the battery.
One name came to mind, Charlie.
What the hell was he up too?
I reconnected the battery and went back into the car. This time it started. I couldn’t believe he would do such a thing. Was this some kind of joke? Why would he want me to stay?
I drove to Hunt Valley, as this area was the closest populated city with a pharmacy. I pulled into the town center and parked.
In the pharmacy, I waited my turn finally asking for what I had come there for. The woman behind the desk was young and smiled at me bagging my request.
That now taken care of, I made my way back to my car. A hand grabbed my arm from behind. I stopped in shock and turned.
It was Charlie.
“And what is the lovely Lillian up to this afternoon?” he grinned then looked to the small bag in my hand that was labeled with the pharmacy name.
“Running errands” I slighted my head to the side and looked to him quizzically. How did he find me?
“What medication could you possibly need? I was pretty sure you are a very healthy woman?” he reached and pulled the bag from my hand.
Crossing my arms and raising my expression to his, “I don’t see what you think you’re doing. May I please have my bag back?”
He cocked his head and pursed his lips tight. Taking the bag he opened it and pulled out the small box the read Plan B across the top.
Pausing he looked back to me “Do you understand the side effects of this pill?”
“Yes Charlie, I understand what it does and its side effects.” I reached for the bag as he instantly raised it above my head. “Charlie stop playing games and give it here. I’m doing you a favor by taking that pill.”
Looking into his eyes, the expression. Charlie looked stunned, terrified and do I say it disappointed? What in the world?
“Charlie, are you honestly ready to have a child and with me? Let’s face it last night was just a one night stand and if and when I have child it will be with a man who loves me. Not a man playing games with me. He lowered the bag down. “Who is to say I’m not that man. Who says I’m playing games with you Lilly?”
“You don’t know me Charlie. Thus, you can’t love me.”
His free hand came to my face as his thumb moved along my jaw line stopping just at my lower lip.
“I think I have a pretty good idea of who you are Lilly. Perhaps it is you that needs to get to know me.”
Releasing his hold on my face, he handed me my bag. I could see the disappointment just under the controlled surface he held. He leaned down to the side of my cheek and kissed me.
“I can’t keep you from taking this pill and won’t. Just think hard on it before you do.” He pulled up and forced a smile.
Lowering my gaze from him, I had no idea what to do. Looking to the bag in my hand, I was confused to what I wanted. Do I let nature take its course? There was a chance that I wouldn’t get pregnant however, there was also that chance that I would.
Looking back up, Charlie was gone. I turned looking around and I didn’t know where he went to.
Bag in hand, I walked to my car and got in. Putting the bag down on the seat I adjusted myself putting on the seatbelt and started the car.
My phone rang through the blue tooth devise. It was Julie.
“Hey there” I answered
“Hey Lil. I just wanted to call and see how you were. I’m still reeling in shame for what I almost did and feel like I really need to make amends. You were right about Chris. I’m sorry for being such an ass Lilly. Can you ever forgive me? Can we start over?”
“Julie, I would love to start over. I’m glad things with Chris are moving in the right direction for you.”
“Yeah, so am I.” It was evident in her voice that last night went very well for the two of them. “So, can I ask about you and my brother? Was he is normal asshole self? If he was I’ll be more than happy to give him a piece of my payback,” she laughed but I could tell she was serious.
“No, he wasn’t an ass Julie, I just don’t know what game he thinks he’s playing. One minute he’s sweet then cryptic. It’s obvious that there is a lot of baggage that he holds towards me.”
“Lil, now that I know who you are, he’s always had a thing for you. Well the girl he remembered. Now that you’re not a girl and no one is telling him that you’re off limits; I’m sure he’s slightly intimidated. The notion that he was told that you were too good for him stuck. I’ve watched the way he treats women Lil, not good. He builds them up then makes them feel like they aren’t good enough for him.”
“I can understand that Julie. The psychology behind it; chasing what you were told you couldn’t have.” I sighed and looked to the bag on passenger side. “I’m afraid I don’t have it in me for whatever game he thinks to play Julie.”
“Lil, if I may be so blunt. It sounds to me like you’ve already fallen for him.”
“Oddly enough I think I had a long time ago.”
“When you were younger?” she asked
“I think the first time I had met him. I was a fifteen-year-old girl. I thought of him as a knight in shining armor. How freaking childish.” I laughed. “I remember that I had fallen and hard. He must have been watching and raced out carrying back to my parent patio. Stupid but I think I had an instant crush on him.”
Julie laughed and added, “I remember that story. He had said it was the first time he had met the girl his father always spoke of. He said that you were like an angel.” She laughed more. “I use to make fun of him for it as you were so much younger than him.”
“I was. Hell, I was still a child at fifteen. And I had a crush on him that I realize has followed me all this time.”
“Normally, I’m not the romantic Lilly, but perhaps the two of you were meant to be. Who knows?”
“Or I’m a means to prove something to his father.” It was very probable, which meant in the end, I would be like many countless women that he left with a broken heart.
“I say take it a moment at a time Lilly, the feelings are there and not one sided. He’s a bit complicated, however; I think it’s you he’s waited for all this time.”
“I hope your right Julie.” I really want to put faith in her belief it not for my own sake but for the possibility of what this may cost in the end.
“So different note, any plans for this evening? Chris and I were thinking we should all meet up for dinner tonight. Little Italy , It’s been forever since we’ve all done dinner. Chris said he’d call Brady and I figure you could call Sam.”
“Actually, that sounds like a really good idea.”
“Oh good…this will be fun.”
“I’ll give Sam a call. What time and place?
“Hmmm, how about Aldo’s around eight?”
“Perfect. I’ll call Sam and Aldo’s”
“Awesome. Looking forward to it.”
“Same.”
We hung up, and I pulled out of my parking spot towards home.
Calling Sam, she too wanted to hear about my evening, as she couldn’t get over the way Charlie had attempted to carry me out from the bar. I filled her in some of the details, as she was more than eager to hear about it. She was all about dinner tonight so the plan was a go.
At the house, I headed for the office needing to get thru some emails and set up meetings for next week. I had to negotiate new terms for a distribution agreement.
Coordinating Brady’s and my schedule for next week seemed so tedious and boring; but, something normal as he was my business partner and my lawyer. Two conference
calls later and my workday was finally at an end.
Stretching out, I stood up and went to the kitchen. Pulling a wine glass out and a bottle of red, I poured myself a full glass. The music present through the house, I was feeling oddly sated and ready for a dinner with my friends. Smiling and thinking about Julie, yes I considered her a friend. I was glad that things had turned the way they have. I had I only paid it more mind sooner, she and I could have been closer than we are now.
“Delivery truck approaching.” Henry sounded off.
Hmm, I wasn’t expecting anything.
The doorbell rang and I walked over confused not knowing what to expect.
“Good evening, I have flowers for a Ms. Holt.”
“That would me.” I signed for them and tipped the guy. Closing the door, I appraised the excessively large bouquet of white lilies and my favorite, lily of the valley. Walking them to the Kitchen, I pulled the card from the center. A nervous shudder racketed me. Please let it not be from him. Him meaning my past; Lucian.
Not whom I would have thought them to be from; Sebastian.
Reading the note, I was curious.
“Lillian, please accept the flowers as a house warming. I’m glad to see you moving on with life. Until we meet again, take care. Sebastian.”
Ok, nice gesture I think. Actually, I wasn’t sure what this meant.
I needed to stop doubting everyone’s intentions. Perhaps, this was just him being nice. Nevertheless, unnecessary in my opinion.
I placed the flowers on the marble island. They were beautiful, I had to give him that much. He had good taste.
Looking to the clock, I needed to get ready. I had no idea what I was going to wear.
As a woman, this posed an issue that could definitely waste time, I didn’t really have.
Showering and spending way too much time appraising the clothes in my closet, I finally settled on a dark navy dress. It was silk and fell short. There was nothing revealing about it beyond the amount of leg is showed. It hung a bit loose and draped around the chest. I would need a jacket, as it tends to get cool in September. A fitted black blazer would do the trick. Finding a pair of strappy heels and I was ready to go.