The Doomsday Papers

by JanJan Untamed

  “Dumani, come back here right now! The maid? Really? That isn’t what I fucking meant and you know it. I don’t treat you like I am better than you. I would never agree to that shit. I would rather put a ring on your finger and pretend we are in love. It isn’t you personally, damn it. I can’t love any woman, not after my wife died.”

  “Maybe she is the one who cursed you, not me. I’m going to get dressed and take a walk.”

  “You are going to clean up the bowl you smashed first.”

  “No, I’m not. You just said I’m not the maid.” I walk into the closet and pull down the first thing my hands touch. I pull on the dress angrily. I sure am.

  “You aren’t going walking dressed like that. You’ll be picked up for prostitution.”

  “You chose this ugly rag so I guess it gives me some insight into what you think of me.” I shove my feet into my old boots. “I am the thrall. I should look the part.”

  He freezes and gives me a strange look. “I deserved that. It doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t walking around the city alone.” He takes down a suit and begins to dress.

  “You can’t tell me what to do. You said I was free to come and go.”

  “I find it hard to believe that you used to be some, quiet, obedient, church girl. Now, you’re a bit of a maniacal bitch.”

  I flip him my middle finger because I know commoners find it offensive. He laughs at me with a twinkle in his eyes that makes me want to smile. I leave the bedroom but I stop to clean up the pasta because I made the mess.

  “Leave it. The maid will be here in a few minutes.” Maximino says adjusting his tie. When was the last time I threw a dish in anger? Never. Yelling and throwing things at Maximino feels good. Stranger still, it felt familiar. It’s weird. Mino. The name comes so easily. Much easier than Maximino. What a name. Mino. It rolls off my tongue like an old song that I sing all the time. I cut myself on a shard of porcelain and I watch a drop of blood well up like a red raindrop. This is nothing compared to what my lover takes. He doesn’t take it. I give it willingly. It is life for him and I want to him to live. He takes my hand in his bringing my finger to his lips. He licks the droplet away before kissing me.

  “Do you want me to stay at a hotel or find an apartment nearby? It will solve all of your problems.”

  His hands move over my body as he admires the way the floral dress clings to my new-found curves. It covers me from neck to ankles the way I like. They did an amazing job on me.

  “You are not moving out.” He says with finality. “Turn around.”

  He turns my back to him and fastens a wide pearl choker around my throat.

  “For me?” I ask breathlessly. It’s so pretty.

  “Yes, for you. Don’t get all weepy about it. It doesn’t mean what you want it to mean.”

  “It’s still nice, thank you, Maximino.”

  “In public or around others, you will address me as, Mr. Vitale. And, never speak until spoken to. I expect you to behave. If you go to a hotel, I will find you and bring you back.”

  I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. Not a hotel or anywhere. Today, I am a tourist and he is my foreign boyfriend. He takes me on the five-star tour.

  “Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake right here for suggesting the earth revolved around the sun.”

  He tells me the history from first-hand knowledge. He was here to see it all himself. I love walking arm in arm with him and kissing for no reason. Maximino pushes me against a soft, ivy covered doorway in an alley in Trastevere and makes love to me in broad daylight. It is during my orgasm that I have an epiphany. It comes to me with life changing clarity. I know why he feels so familiar. Because we are supposed to be together. We fix our clothes and have dinner at a place called La Pergola. It’s so fancy that I am uncomfortable the moment I walk in. Maximino escorts me to our table with a hand on my lower back. The waiter pulls out my chair for me. I thank him like a commoner. He orders drinks first. I don’t care what it is when I drink it down. I choke and he pats my back. It’s strong.

  “It’s cognac. I want to loosen you up, not have you dancing on the tables.”

  I laugh between my coughing. I’m warm when I finally get it under control.

  “I would never dance on a table.” I pat my lips with my napkin. “I’m a terrible dancer.”

  “You’re tipsy.” He says tilting his head. “I’ve seen the way you move in bed. I bet you’re a great dancer. All you need is the right teacher.”

  It’s the liquor that’s making me blush, not his shameless words.

  “You are going to dance with me tonight. I look forward to it.”

  “I can’t go to a party. It was hard enough sitting through dinner with the Antonovs. I’m awkward and I don’t know what to say.”

  “You did okay at dinner. The men were all over you.”

  “You sound jealous.”

  “I was very jealous. That’s why I went to your room and fucked you until it went away.”

  “I was wrong for letting you in.”

  “For letting me in where?” He grins like a fox in the hen house.

  “Maximino.” I scold softly. I blush all over.

  “I am hard right now thinking about last night. I fucked that pussy nice and deep.”

  Last night was magic. There is no other way to describe it. I am throbbing thinking about it. Today in the alley was the perfect follow up. Maximino didn’t ask. He lifted my dress up, tugged my panties down, and fucked me. I think that old man with the cane saw us. I’m sure he heard me.

  “Mino. Why didn’t anyone tell me that you were back in town? You haven’t called me in weeks.”

  “I landed yesterday. I haven’t had a chance to call anyone.” He stands up to hug her. They kiss like they aren’t here with other people.

  “You look amazing.”

  “Thank you. You look beautiful as usual. Nice dress.”

  “This old thing? I picked it up in Martinique. Does Ben know you’re back?”

  “I am a grown-up. I don’t answer to Ben.”

  “I am upset with you, Mino.”

  “Come on, baby. Don’t be mad. You know I’m going to call you. Are you going to the party tonight?”

  “Your brother’s parties are boring and old fashioned.”

  “You’re still kicked out of the house, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe.” She admits with a coy smile. Maximino laughs. The sound resonates inside of me like a gong. It makes me want to smile for no reason. He doesn’t laugh like this when he’s with me. He’s so relaxed and laid back now that he’s in his own environment. I can tell he likes this woman. I wait for him to introduce me but he doesn’t.

  “What’s this? You’re taking them on dates now?” She turns up her nose at me.

  “You never know what I will do.”

  “It’s disrespectful and tasteless. Get it together, Mino.”

  “We should have dinner tomorrow night to catch up. I’ve missed you, Tessa.”

  “Pick me up at eight.” We both watch her walk away swaying her curvy hips. He watches longer than I do.

  “Are you lovers?” I ask him. It’s none of my business but I have to know.

  “When it suits me.” He finally turns back to me. I have no say in what he does. He told me his conditions before we left the states and I agreed. I have no right to care.

  “Are you going to sleep with her tomorrow?”

  “I don’t know, maybe.”

  “You didn’t even introduce me. You let her insult me.”

  “Tessa didn’t insult you. That’s a lie.”

  “Taking me to dinner is tasteless?”

  “Absolutely. You are a bedmate, not a dinner date.”

  I’m upset but I let it go. He’s my bedmate too. This isn’t a love affair. We have sex and I feed him my blood. I put my hands in my lap wondering why I like him so much.

  “I’m fucking you tonight, witch. Let it go.”

  “And, if I refuse?”

 
; “I will find two or three who won’t refuse. And, you will stay in your room and be quiet until they leave. Don’t ever ask me about other women.”

  I remain quiet for the rest of the meal. I don’t recognize anything we’re served. This food doesn’t look like it’s supposed to look and some of the tastes are too different for me. I’m a salt and pepper kind of girl. The rich sauces and sweet glazes overpower the flavor of the meat and vegetables. I eat it because I’m hungry. Next time I will order it without the sauce. I don’t talk much and neither does he. We ride back to his house in a taxi. There are people waiting for us.

  “This is Maria, she’s going to help you dress and tame your hair. Maria, did you bring the dress?”

  “Yes, Mr. Vitale. I can make last minute alterations if needed.”

  “I think it will fit. Did you bring the diamonds?”

  “Yes, Mr. Vitale. And the ring you asked for. Your brother wanted to know why I was in the treasury.”

  “It’s none of his business.”

  “He wants you to call him, Sir.”

  “I don’t have time for his petty concerns. Benedict has his own business to mind. Danny, did you hang my suit in the closet?”

  “Yes, Mr. Vitale.”

  “Bring me a drink and my messages. I am going into my office to catch up on a few things while you get dressed. I’ll meet you here at midnight.”

  Will it take me hours to dress for a party? How hard is putting on a dress? Harder than I thought. I’m waxed all over and it wasn’t bad. Nothing is bad when I’m full of Maximino. She even waxed my eyebrows and underarms. I covered my face when she waxed down there. I wonder what he’s going to say? Is he going to think it’s weird? I sit for hours as she straightens my hair. It’s the longest part. I’ve never had straight hair before. Who knew it would be this long? She piles it on top of my head and ties it with a silk scarf. I put on a cap before I shower. I feel soft and smooth after I am dry and lotioned.

  She unzips the fat garment bag at a quarter after eleven and takes out a dress. I touch it hesitantly. Is this for me? I can’t wear this. It’s something that a princess or a bride would wear. The satin is handwoven and the lace hand-tatted. This is handmade. Someone put months and maybe years of love and care into this dress. It makes me love it even more. I love this dress right down to the golden color. I raise my arms. The dress is sleeveless but my arms look fine. It dips low in the front. The tops of my breasts show. They look smooth and perfect. I hold up my arms to check underneath. There are no signs of my surgery. I turn around. The lashes are gone and my back is smooth. I get a chill. Because I am a demon. It’s hard to hurt a demon. My dress drags on the floor behind me. My waist dips in and my hips flare. Do I look pretty? Will he like it?

  “You look beautiful.” She says parting my hair down the middle and brushing the sides down. It falls heavy and straight to my waist. I get a sick feeling. Judea would be crushed if he saw me flaunting my hair for other men. It’s not other men. It’s only one. She makes up my face as I watch my transformation in awe. I don’t know how to clip on the jewelry so she does it for me giving me a strange look. The diamond necklace is cold, heavy, and sparkles brilliantly. This is me catering to vanity. I don’t know the woman in the mirror. She’s stunning. I turn my face right and left. The woman in the mirror moves the same. I touch my glossy lips. The woman in the mirror touches hers. I slip my feet into sparkly flat shoes and I walk out to meet him.

  He’s standing in the window looking out over the night. I take a moment to admire him. His white hair is brushed back the way it was the night we met. It makes him look dangerous. His black suit hugs his body like a woman. It’s clinging to him the way I do. My heart is beating fast. He looks me over with his dancing blue eyes. I don’t know who moves first but we meet in the middle like sex fiends touching, kissing, and grabbing. He breaks the kiss with a wild look in his eyes. I fix my hair and straighten my dress. My lips feel swollen. He doesn’t say anything. His arm comes around my waist and we go.

  “You didn’t tell me the party was at a castle.” I hiss angrily as he drags me out of the car. It drives away before I can jump back in.

  “This isn’t funny, Maximino. People will look at me. They will know I’m a farmer.”

  “They will look at you because you’re black, not because of how you are dressed. This is Italy, everyone has a castle.”

  “Mino! Welcome home! So, glad to see you.” He’s stopped by an older man before we even make it to the door. They hug as his dark-haired companion stands by looking at me. She doesn’t smile or nod or anything. She just looks. It’s the, “you don’t belong here,” look.

  “Uncle, Paulo, you are looking well. Selena, what a lovely dress. How is Aunt Missy?”

  “You know your Aunt. That woman will never change.”

  The dark-haired woman beams and kisses Mino on the lips as the older man turns his eyes to me. He looks me up and down before looking away without acknowledging me.

  “How lovely to see you, Mino. You don’t come around enough.” The woman says sweetly. “I hope we can have a drink later?”

  “We’ll see.” He doesn’t make any promises and the woman pouts prettily.

  “She’s new, isn’t she?” The man asks looking me over again.

  “Yes, she’s a little morsel I picked up in Toronto.”

  “She must be something special.” The old man says with a knowing wink.

  “She’s here, isn’t she?” Maximino’s words draw a chuckle from him.

  “Maybe I will give her a try later. Come along, Selena.”

  They move on. Give her a try? What is that supposed to mean? I don’t ask because there are people around. They speak to him and ignore me. It’s like this all night for the most part. The women all act like I’m not here and the men stare like I’m naked. It makes me nervous. Maximino doesn’t pull me forward or hold my hand. He ignores me too. One of the old ladies drags him off for a dance and he doesn’t hesitate to leave me alone. I watch him dreamily. He’s so handsome. I can’t rightly say that he’s a good person. He still appeals to me. Maximino’s darkness appeals to the darkness in me. It’s here and slowly showing its beautiful head. I don’t want to be good anymore. I want to live and love.

  “I told you that I can’t dance. I’ll embarrass you.” I whisper.

  “You could never embarrass me. This is a slow song. You don’t have to know how to dance.” He pulls me into his arms. He takes one of my hands in his and wraps the other arm around my waist. “It’s easy, Kitten. Follow me.”

  I like this already. I put my arm around him and hold on to his hand.

  “Move with me. One two. One two. There you go. See, you’re a natural.” He says. I step on his foot. It would have thrown me off if I wasn’t anchored to him. He wants to laugh.

  “When I saw you dancing with Douglas, I thought you were pretending. You really are a terrible dancer.”

  “One two. One two. One two.” I ignore him and concentrate. One two. One two. I move back and forth. I’m counting steps and more concerned with not stepping on his feet than looking graceful.

  “Relax, baby. Don’t try so hard. Move your hips with mine the way you do when I’m on top of you. Loosen up.” His hands move down and hold my hips. I move with him. His hands move down over my shapely bottom and back up to my hips again. I am not a dancer. It’s a sin and inspires lustful thoughts and immoral actions. Like the kiss that he lays on me. I hold the back of his head. His arms lock around me. We aren’t dancing anymore. We’re pretending. He breaks the kiss looking down at me like a man who forgot where he was. We begin to move again. One two. One two. One two.

  “Maximino, I’m cutting in before the poor girl breaks your toes.”

  “She’s doing fine. Don’t stop, Kitten. You are doing great.”

  “I haven’t spoken to you since I had the abortion.”

  He stops and gives her a look that makes me feel uncomfortable. He looks around before walking away knowing she w
ill follow.

  “Who let you in here?”

  “I brought her. She’s my date.” A man joins us.

  “She and I don’t speak anymore, Wesley.”

  “That’s why I came, Mino. I want to know why you’ve been ignoring me? Now that I see her, I am still wondering why?”

  “I’d like a word with you in private, Lila.” He half drags her away from me. They dance beautifully together. None of that one two stuff. I wish I was graceful like her. I wish I could dance with him like that. Look at him. He’s like a modern-day Fred Astaire. Their lips are moving. I wonder what they’re talking about?

  “They always get back together. You will be gone in three days.”

  “What if I tell him what you said just now?” I wonder aloud.

  “You have moxie. I give you that.”

  “I don’t need moxie. I have a gun and a knife and I know how to use both you coward.”

  “You are one of Mino’s whores. Who are you to criticize anyone? You shouldn’t be speaking at all.”

  He sounds like he might go into hysterics. Why is he so sensitive?

  “You seem soft and tender. I bet you are a bottom.”

  I repeat something that I read back in the bunker. I didn’t know how offensive it was until he takes a real swing at me. A sloppy swing, but a swing no less. I back out of his reach easily and he misses. I use his own momentum to send him crashing into a champagne fountain. The sound is deafening. I slip away while they are all gawking at him. I don’t like him. He’s a trouble maker. I’m waiting out front when Max comes outside fifteen minutes later.

  “I can’t take you anywhere, can I? You made a terrible scene.”

  “He attacked me first. I was standing there minding my business and he came over to me.”

  “Did he touch you?” I shake my head no. Not technically.