Spankenstein

by Tim Miller

  “You were a serious actor,” Claudia taunted.

  “Yeah, fuck you. So anyway, I changed my name. It still didn’t help. All I got was shit roles, so I came back here. After ten years of working as an extra, my resume wasn’t exactly impressive. So the best job I could get was here.”

  “How proud your parents must be.”

  “Seriously, lady. What the hell did I do to you? Why you gotta bust my balls like this?”

  “Because I think you’re a shit stain,” she said.

  “Easy Claudia. He’s trying to help us,” Rich reminded.

  “Yeah! I’m trying to help you. Fuck. So yeah. I don’t know that she talked to anyone else on her way out.”

  “Did she have any clients before she left that seemed odd or anything?”

  “You ever hung out here lady? They’re all odd.”

  “Ok. More odd than usual.”

  “I think, there was this one guy. He was kind of dorky looking. Real short and almost cowered in his seat. She sat with him for a while. Security was watching because he was acting so, I dunno. Weird.”

  “Was he touching her weird or following her?”

  “No. Just the way he sat and stared. I mean, they all stare it’s a strip club. This guy, though. It’s like he was sizing her up for something. Hard to explain. Oh, and Mindy said he jizzed his pants during a lap dance.”

  “Ew.”

  “That’s what I said. But she said he was mostly polite so she went and finished her dance on stage and he left. A few hours later she went to leave but was gone.”

  “Did anyone see anything at all? Did you ask?”

  “No, I was leaving last night and noticed her car was still there. I thought maybe she caught a ride with someone to go out. But she never came back, and her car was still here, so I knew something was up. She never misses work. She makes great money.”

  As they were talking, anther girl walked up to them. This one had to be a stripper. She was wearing a leopard print bikini, high heels, and makeup that looked like it had been applied with a paint roller.

  “Hey, officers. I’m Francesca.”

  “What can we help you with Francesca?”

  “You guys here about Mindy?”

  “Yes, we are. Do you know anything?” Claudia asked.

  “Not really. I was leaving around the same time. I was just backing out of my space there to leave and saw this car peeling out like a maniac. I took out my phone and filmed it, just in case. You know, I figured you never know when something might be important.”

  “That’s great! Can I see it?” Claudia leaned over and watched on her cell phone as a small two door coupe sped out of the parking lot leaving tire tracks as it sped away.

  “He was in a hurry for sure. Can you email that video to me?” Claudia handed her a business card. “If we blow that up a bit we can get a plate.”

  “Yes ma’am, I’ll do that right away.”

  The girl typed in the email address on her phone and hit send. Claudia nodded and smiled.

  “Thank you. It will take a few minutes for me to get it. Please call me if you see or hear anything else.” She turned to Mickey.

  “And you. Call me if that weirdo comes back.”

  “Hey. Did You think of going undercover as a stripper? I could have Francesca here do your hair and makeup. You’d fit right in. Hell, with a body like yours, you might make some bank in the meantime.”

  Now he was purposely being an asshole.

  “Just call if you see the guy. Unless you want more of your girls disappearing. In the meantime, we’ll review this video.”

  “Trust me.” Mickey smiled. “You’ll be the first to know.”

  Chapter 14

  Donny spent the next several hours cleaning up some of the mess in his lab. He’d dumped Christina’s torso into the trash bin. There was already a head in there with some other body parts. He used the hose to spray off the table and mopped up as much of the blood and tissue as he could. Once the floor was dry, he came in with a cart carrying a large car battery, several wires, and a switch panel.

  He’d seen some of this on Youtube but had yet to try it out on his own. So he figured he’d do a live test. He got the wires and connections set up and walked over to his Candi’s body. Using the clips at the end of the wires, he connected them to her nipples. Once that was set up, he hooked up the switch panel which was covered with wires, circuits and, of course, switches. He’d ordered it off Ebay, but the guy assured him it should work.

  He got it connected the way he’d remembered and walked over and looked at his Candi, placing a hand on her face.

  “There, there. I know you’re not awake yet. Soon you will be. Then we will start a new life together. I know I’ll make you very happy.” Once he spoke, he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. Her lips were soft and cold. As he pulled away, he was slightly disappointed she hadn’t come back to life like in “Sleeping Beauty.”

  He walked back over to his contraption and turned a few dials and then activated one of the switches. He heard a buzzing and humming sound, but nothing happened. After a few minutes, he shut it off, went back and readjusted the clips on her nipples and tried it again. This time, he let the battery run for almost ten minutes. She didn’t spring to life, but the room did fill with the odor of burning flesh.

  Donny walked back over to check them again. This time forgetting to shut off the switch. He pulled the clips from her nipples and tapped them with his fingertips. This time, an electric charge went through his body. The jolt was strong enough to knock him backward crashing into a tray table as tools and supplies went flying. He hit his head on something on the way down, which knocked him out for a few minutes.

  When he awoke, the back of his head was throbbing and someone at his front door was pounding like crazy. He stood and cleaned himself off, hoping they’d go away. Unfortunately, they weren’t going anywhere. The pounding got louder and louder. He walked out of the lab to answer the door, and he suddenly realized all he was wearing was a lab coat and his underwear. He removed the lab coat and tossed it back into the lab and pulled on his pants and a shirt before answering the door.

  Standing in his doorway was an attractive Mexican lady and a pissed off looking white guy.

  “Can I help you?” Donny asked.

  “Yeah. SAPD,” the guy said holding up a badge. “I’m Detective Rich Colburn; this is Detective Claudia Gomez. You Donny Spanks?”

  “Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

  “We have a few questions for you. Can we come inside?”

  Donny looked around.

  “Umm, I’d rather you didn’t.”

  “This will only take a minute.”

  “Good, we can discuss it from here.”

  “Ok. Fine. Your car was seen leaving the Chesty Chola yesterday at a high rate of speed. As if you were in a big hurry or running away from something.”

  “It was, huh? Must not have been my car?”

  “The plate number matched your car. It led us right to your house. It’s just really interesting since a stripper disappeared from there around the same time. A stripper who you were seen with earlier. A stripper with whom you splooged in your pants while she danced for you. Does any of that ring a bell?”

  “I think you should leave now,” Donny said as he tried to push the door closed. Colburn had his foot in the doorway so it wouldn’t close all the way.

  “What for? I mean you got nothing to hide right. I mean, if we came back with a warrant? We wouldn’t find her here would we?”

  “What? No! Of course not. Look at me. Do I look like I could kidnap anyone? She could kick my ass, I bet.” Donny pointed at Gomez.

  “You’re fuckin’ A right I’d kick your ass,” she said. “How about we test that theory?”

  “Jesus. Ok, Look. I was at the Chesty Chola yesterday. I go there sometimes. Then I got a call that my mom was really sick. She’s in Brooks Haven nursing home. You can check it out. I guess she had a fever. So I r
aced out of there because she’s really old and I was worried. I didn’t take nobody. I mean, come on. And in broad daylight?”

  “So why not let us look around, then?”

  “Because I don’t like people in my house. If you want to get a warrant, then be my guest. But I’m not going to let you bully me around in my own house.”

  “Have it your way, pal. We’ll be back soon.”

  “Fine.”

  Donny closed the door and watched out the window as the two cops got into their car and drove away. He leaned against the door and took and took a deep breath. Fuck! Could they get a warrant? On “Criminal Brains” they’d have just kicked down his door. At least, in real life, they had to have some kind of evidence. What if someone saw him? Shit! He began pacing while trying to calm himself down.

  “Stay calm. Stay calm.” He stopped and pressed his head against the wall. If they really had anything at all, they’d have arrested him by now. No way would be they let him go with a girl missing. They were either trying to find something to get him on, or to rile him up, so he’d screw up like on “Criminal Brains”. There they always go on TV and taunt the killer or go to his house and harass him. Every time they get pissed and do something stupid. Not Donny Spanks. He’s seen the shows; he knew how they worked. He’d just sit back with his new, beautiful love and play it cool.

  Chapter 15

  “You think he’s telling the truth?” Claudia asked.

  “Hell no,” Rich replied. “He’s hiding something for sure.”

  “He’s kind of a dorky guy. He looks like a kid could kick his ass.”

  “Yeah, I don’t let looks fool me. I’ve been doing this long enough. I’ve seen some pretty weak looking people do some awful things.”

  They got into the car, and Rich put it in drive and took off. They stopped at a little café for lunch. Claudia was glad. She’d missed breakfast and was starving. They got inside where she ordered a bacon omelet and orange juice.

  “Isn’t it kind of late for breakfast?” Rich asked.

  “It’s never too late for breakfast.”

  “That thing is huge. What do you weigh? One-twenty?”

  “None of your fucking business,” she said with a mouthful of egg.

  “Fine, whatever.” He put his hands up.

  “So what do you make of this Donny guy? You think he’s our guy?”

  “I think he knows something. I think there is something he’s not telling us and that he doesn’t want us to know.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. Did you smell his house? It smelled weird. Like chemicals or some shit.”

  “I smelled it too, but I have no idea what it was.”

  “Were you bluffing about the warrant?”

  “Sadly yes. I was hoping that would scare him into letting us search his house. Usually, a little shithead like that will fold, but this guy, at least, has bigger balls than he looks.”

  “I don’t want to see his fucking balls,” Claudia said. “I’ll leave that to you.”

  Rich gave her the finger as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

  The door behind them swung open. Claudia couldn’t see them, but two men in large jackets came into the café, swinging the doors open hard, knocking over a hostess who had walked by. Claudia turned to see one of them taking out a shotgun. The other had a small handgun.

  “Everyone on the fucking ground! Now!” The tall one screamed. They both had hoods on, but one spoke with a Latino accent.

  “You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Rich said. Claudia looked at him as he nodded slowly. “Don’t move. Just sit tight.”

  “I said on the floor now!” The tall man yelled again while the other walked up and down the rows waving his pistol in people’s faces making sure they were on the ground.

  “Let’s get on the ground,” Rich said. “Don’t draw any attention to ourselves.”

  “Shouldn’t we do something?”

  “Only if it’s safe. If it’s just a robbery, then let them do their thing and get out of here. No point in getting people killed.”

  The man with the pistol walked by them while the man with the shotgun had the hostess empty the register into a trash bag.

  “Now your wallets! My partner is going to pass this bag around, and all of you are going to put your wallet inside. Do it!”

  The man was coming back around when a gunshot went off.

  “Fuck!” Rich said as he peeked out from under the table. A middle-aged man standing in the middle of the restaurant with a semi-automatic handgun. The guy was emptying his magazine in the direction of the shotgun guy. One round had grazed him, but shotgun guy had ducked down behind the counter. Pistol guy returned fire from a few feet behind the civilian, hitting him in the back of the head. Blood sprayed as chunks of skull and brains landed in someone’s soup nearby.

  “Fuck this,” Claudia said as she stood while drawing her sidearm. Rich stood as well.

  “I got shotgun, you get pistol,” Claudia said as Rich nodded.

  Rich shot and hit the pistol guy square in the back and ran around the tables to cover him. Shotgun guy stood but instead of returning fire, he grabbed the hostess and pressed the shotgun to her cheek.

  “I’ll blow her fucking brains out!”

  Claudia circled as he tried to back toward the door. Rich’s guy was still moving so he had to keep him covered. He did reach down and cuff the guy as he lay on his stomach bleeding from the wound in his back. Rich took out his phone and called the shooting in. It would still take several minutes for backup to arrive.

  “You think I’m fucking with you? Drop your fucking gun now! I’ll fucking kill her!”

  Claudia looked up and down for a clear shot. She had been on the top of her class on the range in the academy. This was a moving target, though, much different than shooting a paper bullseye. She aimed in to make sure she had her shot, took a deep breath and slowly squeezed the trigger. The shot rang out, causing the gun to jump in her hands. The round hit shotgun guy in the side of the neck, dropping him instantly.

  The hostess screamed and ran out the door as Claudia kept her gun trained on the suspect as she ran up to him. The man lay on the ground holding his neck as blood gushed from the wound. She kicked the shotgun away while watching him thrash and gurgle for a few seconds before he went still.

  “Jesus Christ, Claudia,” Rich said as he ran up behind her. “You fucking wasted him. He had that gun right to her head.”

  “I know. I wasn’t going to let him hurt her.” She looked around as sirens wailed in the distance. “Is anyone else hurt?” She asked. People were sobbing and screaming. She noticed for the first time the dead civilian lying a few feet away with half his head blown off. “We need all of you to step carefully outside, please. Follow me!”

  One by one the customers walked outside, careful not to step on the dead man lying at the front of the restaurant. One older man stepped in the gunman’s blood and slipped and fell onto his back. Several others helped him up as he began crying and shaking as he looked at the dead man’s blood on his hands and arms. Claudia felt bad for the man, but also worried about her crime scene. It was a clean shooting, however; she was confident in that. The only thing she might catch hell for is shooting with the victim so close by, but no way was she going to let that psycho out the door.

  As police arrived several ambulances pulled in. Medics came in to tend to the gunman Rich had shot who was still alive. Claudia went out along the curb and sat down as uniformed officers came in, and Rich controlled the crime scene. Finally, he came over to check on her.

  “You doing ok?” he asked.

  “I think so. This is my first shooting.”

  “It was a good shoot. Gutsy, but you did good. Just remind me never to piss you off.”

  Chapter 16

  Sonny Cortez dialed Christina’s number again. Still no answer. Where the fuck was that cunt? She had twenty pounds of heroin in her car that should have been dropped off hours ago. He had been callin
g nonstop and was furious. The guy had paid almost $2 million for the shipment. Christina had been delivering for him for a few years now and had always been reliable. Her job as a gas station clerk made it easy. All she did was drove to work in one car and dropped it off in another. Except she wasn’t at the gas station. He drove by there, and she was gone, and the owner had had her car impounded.

  Hopefully, the cops wouldn’t search her car. The owner figured she took off with a boyfriend or something. In all the years Sonny had been working with her, she had never pulled anything shady. He wondered if one of his competitors had gotten to her. Whatever it was, he was going to get to the bottom of it. There was a knock on the door just before it opened.

  “Come in!” Sonny called out.

  The tall man wearing a cowboy hat and leather duster came into the room. It was Gus Miller. Gus was an old school enforcer who had been working freelance all along the southwest. Sonny had never used him, but he’d come highly recommended. Rumor had it he could find anyone, anywhere. Except he’d had no idea the guy dressed like Wyatt Earp.

  “Is this a joke?” Sonny asked.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Your outfit. Is that a fucking joke? You headed to the rodeo, or is it dollar drink night at Cowboy’s Dance Hall tonight?”

  “You know, I don’t like my time wasted,” the bearded man said. “So if you have a job for me, I highly recommend you get to it.”

  “Whatever, cowboy,” Sonny said before explaining his situation with Christina.

  “You think the cops got her? Did she turn snitch? Witness protection?”

  “I doubt that. If the cops got her they’d have searched the car already. The gas station owner had her car impounded. So first thing I guess would be to hit the impound yard and see if the dope is still there. If it is then I really don’t care if we find her.”

  “All right. What’s the pay?”

  “Forty-thousand now and then fifty more when you find her or the dope.”

  Gus laughed as he took off his hat and rubbed his hair and put it back on.