Broken Butterfly: MMF Bisexual Romance (Mundane Magic Book 1)

by Maxene Novak

  “Alright,” she said through quivering lips.

  He kissed her forehead, driving home the feeling of helplessness that was rapidly overwhelming her. “Lie down, doll,” he said quietly.

  She did as she was told, and he pulled the blankets up over her. He touched her face gently just as the first of the painkillers began to take effect. His face grew fuzzy, and then she was asleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ruger was in an amazing mood. The sun had set and the clouds had cleared, and he was walking through the quiet neighborhood after a productive day at work to see the woman of his dreams; who, for some reason, seemed to want him. He was a little worried that he’d hurt her the night before, but she seemed fine when he left that morning. The excitement of having Belle Kelly living in his house still hadn’t worn off. She seemed more human than goddess to him now that he’d gotten to know her, but she was still perfection in his eyes.

  He whistled as he skipped up the steps. He didn’t see her before he hopped in the shower, but that was alright. He didn’t particularly want her seeing him all grungy from the garage anyway. He sang as he scrubbed and continued his song as he slipped into comfortable clothes. Yes, today had been an excellent day, and he was looking forward to an excellent night.

  He found her in the kitchen making a sandwich. Her face was pinched and drawn, utterly pale with two bright, angry-looking spots on her cheeks and two dark purple smudges under her eyes. It stopped him in his tracks.

  “Hey… you okay?” he asked.

  “I hurt,” she snapped.

  “Oh. I’m really sorry, Belle. I should have been more careful.”

  “Not you,” she said impatiently. “I went to the gym today, and I hurt. ‘Scuse me.”

  She hobbled past him to the living room and angrily switched the TV on. She collapsed onto the couch and chewed her food as she glared at the screen.

  “Can I get you anything?” he asked quietly.

  “No,” she snapped. She swallowed, and sighed. “Thank you. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m not fit for human interaction right now.”

  “Okay,” Ruger said gently.

  He left her to her food and her show. He had a bone to pick with Colt, and he wasn’t going to wait. He pulled on his boots and coat and yanked his phone from his pocket, dialing Colt.

  “Hello?”

  “Colt! Where are you?”

  “Just finishing up at work, about to head to the cottage. What’s up?”

  Ruger strode from the cottage, closing the door firmly behind him. “You fucking broke her!” he accused.

  “Look, now is not a good time—”

  “Not a good time? We need to talk about this. Now.”

  Ruger was furious. He felt very strongly that Colt had betrayed Belle’s trust, and he felt that betrayal as if it were his own. He heard Colt sigh over the phone.

  “Yeah, look… let me get changed, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Just hold down the temper, alright?”

  “Whatever.”

  Ruger ended the call and shoved his phone back in his pocket. He paced the front porch, unable to settle down. The door opened behind him.

  “Hi… sorry, mind if I join you? I usually don’t, but I need one tonight.”

  Belle lifted up an unlit cigarette.

  “Yeah, come on out,” Ruger said, deliberately softening his tone.

  “Thanks.”

  She closed the door behind her and limped over to the porch swing. Ruger found the old can that a previous tenant had used for an ash tray and set it beside her. She lit her cigarette and sat back, propping her feet on the small, worn table in front of her.

  “It’s not his fault, you know,” she said as she blew out a stream of smoke.

  “Not whose fault?”

  “Colt’s. He told me to take it easy. He told me not to push, and I ignored him.”

  “He should have made you—”

  She shook her head, cutting him off.

  “He thinks so too, but you’re both wrong. Nobody makes me do anything. I do as I please. Today, it pleased me to work my body. I didn’t realize the consequences, but it was my decision and mine alone. I don’t need the two of you going after each other on my account.”

  Ruger silently reached for the cigarette and she handed it to him. He pulled a drag, and nearly choked. He hadn’t smoked since high school, and he wasn’t used to the sharp, icy heat in his throat. He passed it back to her as his stomach rolled.

  “So I guess it’s true, about ballerinas and cigarettes,” he commented.

  “Nah, not really. Not like it used to be, anyway. I picked it up when a particularly demanding growth spurt had my body out of whack, but it’s not like the horror stories you hear about all ballerinas smoking instead of eating. Ballet is a physically demanding pursuit, and even though we do sort of have to watch our weight, we don’t starve. We just avoid bulking up too much. Hell, with the way we worked we could have had ice cream sundaes three times a day and still maintain a caloric deficit. Sometimes I did,” she laughed.

  “I’m more careful now. I mean, I still have most of my muscle mass, so it isn’t like my metabolism is dead or anything, but living the life of an invalid these past couple months has really made me appreciate how dancing kept me balanced. My mother… she was obese. She died of a heart attack, and it wasn’t a surprise. They say that kind of thing runs in families, so I’ve always been a little terrified of ending up like this, unable to burn off what I take in. Colt still seems to think he can get me back to where I was, at least part of the way there.”

  “Do you want to go back to ballet, when you can?”

  “If I can,” she corrected. “Yes. More than anything. But… I’m starting to entertain other ideas.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I liked sculpting, back when I still had time for it. And I would like to teach a class, I think. Ballet of course. I would need some extra certifications and stuff, but I think I could do it. I just… I guess my life is so absorbed with just healing right now that my brain is itching for something to do.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be great,” Ruger said with absolute conviction. “At whatever you set your mind to.”

  “Thanks,” she said, her smile glowing in the moonlight. “I don’t know that I’d be satisfied with anything less.”

  She stubbed out the cigarette and tossed it in the can. She pulled herself to her feet, leaning heavily on her cane.

  “Don’t be too hard on him,” she said gently, touching his arm as she passed. “He really was perfectly wonderful today.”

  She squeezed his arm and went back inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He wasn’t alone long; Colt pulled up in his truck moments later and strode up to the house quickly. He stopped when he saw Ruger.

  “You sounded pretty pissed on the phone,” Colt commented.

  “That’s an understatement,” Ruger said.

  “Want to tell me why?”

  “You promised her it wouldn’t hurt,” Ruger said.

  “Yeah. I screwed up.” Colt climbed the steps and stood beside Ruger, leaning on his elbows to look out over the frozen yard.

  “Why, though?” Ruger asked, tempering his tone. “You saw all her medical stuff, shouldn’t you have known how far to push her?”

  “Yeah, I should have. And I thought I did. Thing of it is…” He shook his head slowly. “She’s quite a girl. I didn’t expect her to push herself past the point of pain, but it was like she didn’t even feel it until it was all over, then it all hit her at once. I was treating her like a girl when I should have been treating her like an athlete.”

  “See, but that’s what I don’t understand,” Ruger said, turning to face him squarely. “You work with postpartum women and geriatrics all the time, can’t you tell when to make them stop?”

  “Some of the postpartum women, sure. Even a few of the geriatrics. But usually those two groups know their limits, and they don’t go beyond them
. Most of the time I have to push people to do more, not less. She’s kinda special.”

  “She is,” Ruger sighed. “She’s really special. And she’s really hurting right now.”

  “I am sorry about that,” Colt said, sounding as though he meant it. “I mean, I’m totally impressed with her, but I’m sorry that I caused her pain. I guess what I don’t understand fully is why it made you so angry.”

  Ruger shrugged, kicking the rail. “I don’t know, I just… kinda felt protective of her, you know? She cried on my shoulder last night.”

  “She did? Why?”

  “I dunno. I told her who she was from my perspective, and I guess it hit a button or something.”

  Colt looked at him thoughtfully. “Who is she, from your perspective?”

  “Passionate. Strong. Dedicated. Utterly in love with her work. Kinda like you, actually.”

  “Is that how you see me?”

  “Well, for you I’d have to add a few things, but yeah, basically.”

  “What would you have to add?”

  “Oh,” Ruger laughed. “Cocky. Opinionated. Jealous. Distractible. Curious. Sexy.”

  “Sexy, huh?” Colt grinned. “I mean, of course I am, but I didn’t think you’d admit it.”

  “Want me to add delusional to the list?” Ruger asked, gently sarcastic.

  “Shut up, asshat,” Colt said, but he smiled as he threw a weak punch at Ruger’s shoulder. They were quiet for a moment, watching the world freeze.

  “I think you’re sexy, too. Just so we’re all clear here,” Colt said smoothly.

  “Yeah, sure you do.”

  “Need me to prove it?”

  “Always,” Ruger said.

  Butterflies fluttered around his gut, and he thought of Belle.

  “Belle said something interesting last night,” he said casually.

  “What did she say?”

  “She said that I shouldn’t wait for you to fall in love with me. That I should be having casual fun without hanging all my hopes and dreams on you. Or something like that, I’m paraphrasing. I think she meant that she wanted me. It sure seemed that way.”

  Colt was quiet for a minute. He began chewing his thumbnail.

  “Do you want her?” he asked.

  “Of course I do,” Ruger breathed. “It’s like if… I don’t know… Hugh Jackman showed up at your door and told you that he was feeling insecure about his sex appeal and wanted you to make him feel better.”

  “That’s… that would be inconceivably awesome,” Colt admitted.

  “Exactly. So yes, I want her. But I don’t know if it’s just the inconceivably awesome factor, or if there’s real potential there. Since she wants to keep it casual I don’t know if it matters, but…” Ruger shrugged. “I mean, she’s living in my house. If I fucked it up and made it weird, she’d want to find a new place, which would screw up her rehab and send her running again. She’s run far enough already, you know? So I don’t want to make some kind of mistake and spook her.”

  “She’s stronger than you give her credit for, I think,” Colt said.

  There was a sadness in his voice that Ruger couldn’t interpret.

  “Colt… do you have feelings for her?” Ruger asked bluntly.

  “Yeah,” Colt sighed. “I admire the hell out of her. Having her all vulnerable and helpless in my arms today made me want to take care of her. Watching her push through the pain made me want to be her when I grow up. She surprises me every time I talk to her. I want more of that in my life.”

  “So what do we do?” Ruger asked.

  “Me? I do my job. That’s all I can do. It’s what she needs from me, and if I crossed that line I wouldn’t be doing either of us any favors. You?” Colt shrugged. “You do what your conscience tells you to do.”

  “What if my conscience is telling me to kiss you right now?”

  Colt grinned. “That’s your penis, not your conscience. Do I need to teach you the difference again?”

  “Shut up,” Ruger laughed.

  He took a step toward Colt and kissed him before he had a chance to overthink it.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Colt kissed him back, then pushed him away.

  “We need to talk about this,” Colt said firmly.

  “Goddammit Colt, I’m sick to death of talking,” Ruger said, impatience bubbling up in his core. “I’m not asking you to marry me for fuck’s sake, I just want you. One time. Just one night, is that too much to ask?”

  “You know it won’t stop at one,” Colt said. “It’s like an addiction. You’re asking me to relapse, and I don’t know if I can risk that again.”

  “Then don’t,” Ruger said, pressing close to him. “Don’t give me your heart, don’t give me anything, just let me spend some time with you.”

  “What about Belle?”

  “This was her idea, wasn’t it? Can’t we just, for once, do what we want to do without thinking it to death?”

  “What you want to do.”

  “You can’t tell me you don’t want it,” Ruger said, wriggling his hips against the obvious bulge in Colt’s pants.

  “I don’t know if I do or not, I haven’t—”

  “Thought about it,” Ruger finished in disgust. “Dammit, Colt, stop thinking for just one second. Let your body decide, just this one time.”

  A flash of anger crossed Colt’s face. “Listen, Ruger,” he growled. “My body has nothing to do with it. Nothing. I could screw you, and Belle, and Tassie before morning and my body wouldn’t need anything but water. The rest of me needs more than that, and you know it.”

  “Like what?” Ruger asked, exasperated.

  “Like security,” Colt said. “You, Belle… you work on a different level. She’s impulsive enough to drive halfway across the country with no plan, and you’re the same way only more so. Look at me, Ruger, really look. See me for who I am for once in your life. I don’t do things impulsively, everything I do has a reason. Give me a reason.”

  Ruger turned his back on Colt. A reason. He wanted a reason, and Ruger didn’t have anything to offer. Old habits whispered that he should guilt him into it, manipulate his emotions so he felt like he had to give him what he wanted. But he was trying to grow as a person. It was hard work and he hated every second of it, but manipulation was not on his agenda anymore. Colt needed to hear something real, which meant that Ruger had to find the reality. He breathed deeply and looked inside himself. What was the truth?

  “I never stopped loving you,” he finally whispered.

  Colt was silent for a long moment before he asked, “And if I sleep with you tonight, what happens then?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “That’s the problem.”

  “What do you want from me, Colt?” Ruger asked, his voice breaking.

  “I just want to know where we’re going.”

  “Your place?” Ruger choked on a laugh.

  Colt sighed. “Listen,” he said gently, wrapping his arms around Ruger and pressing his forehead to the nape of Ruger’s neck. “I never stopped loving you either. But there’s too much crap between us. I can’t just forget everything that happened and pick up where we left off, I don’t have that in me.”

  “That’s not what I want,” Ruger said earnestly. “I don’t want to pretend that nothing ever happened. I want to fix what did happen. I want to rebuild.”

  “I don’t know that we can,” Colt said helplessly. “Too much has happened. I’m a different person now, and so are you, and… and you already have feelings for Belle, and that confuses things.”

  “You do too,” Ruger said lamely.

  “Yeah, so there’s this whole, what, competition aspect now?”

  “I don’t know,” Ruger sighed. “I don’t see it like that. I wish… I wish there was a better way to do this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well… that’s why I sort of latched on to her whole casual thing. Like… if we all just did what and who we wanted to do, no jealo
usy, no insecurity, just like… a love triangle with no conclusion or end, just… three people, together and individual.”

  “Sounds nice,” Colt mused. “But realistically, do you see that happening? I mean, really? No jealousy, no insecurity… that’s quite an aspiration. We’re only human, you know.”

  “No, we’re not,” Ruger argued. “She’s a goddess, I’m insane, and you’re a rock. We’re more than human.”

  “Superhuman lovers? Sounds like an HBO original,” Colt said wryly.

  “Anything’s possible if you can imagine it,” Ruger said stubbornly.

  Colt pulled away and turned Ruger to face him. “How do you intend to make this happen?” he asked.

  “What, are you asking if I’m planning on manipulating you two into doing what I want?”

  Colt shrugged.

  “Well, I’m not. If I were, I wouldn’t be talking about it, I’d just be doing it.”

  “Have you talked to Belle about this?”

  Ruger shook his head.

  “I suggest you do so. Then you’ll see. This isn’t just something that people do, Ruger. Besides, there’s the whole client thing from my side. Talk to her. Maybe she can make you see that what you want is out of reach.”

  “It’s only out of reach if you don’t want to do it,” Ruger pointed out.

  Colt looked at him with an unreadable expression. “Sometimes I wish I could see the world the way you do,” he said softly. “All possibilities and desires and what-ifs.”

  “You can,” Ruger said. “You just need to stop thinking everything to death.”

  “That’s all, huh.”

  “That’s all.”

  Colt made the first move this time, pulling Ruger close to press his lips to his own. Ruger melted into him, giving himself over to the passionate mouth and roaming hands. Lust vibrated the air around them, and the frozen night grew hot where they stood. He felt his defenses fall, and sensed the same in Colt as they clung to each other, devouring one another.

  “Okay… dammit,” Colt said between kisses. “Goddammit, Ruger.”

  He pressed Ruger against the wall, and Ruger’s head began to float on the euphoria. He ground his hips against Colt’s, miming his desire, wishing they had no clothes. Colt’s resistance broke, and he shoved his hands down the back of Ruger’s pants, squeezing his soft, tight ass. A whimper escaped Ruger’s throat, and he slid his hands under Colt’s shirt, running his fingers along Colt’s waistline.