A Certain Intimacy

by Blythe Stone

  “Okay,” Nat said completely smitten. “Do you really wanna change? I can get you something.” If they didn't leave soon Nat was gonna change her mind and take her dinner straight to bed.

  “Nope, I’m fine,” Iris said. She licked her lips and brought Nat’s hand to her lips, letting her teeth out to nip the skin on the back of her hand. “If we don’t go, I’ll have to resort to eating you.”

  Nat laughed with heavy eyelids. “Yeah, devil girl, I was just thinking that same thing.”

  Nat stood and started to push Iris to walk in front of her.

  “Is that my official nickname? If so, I approve. It goes with my rock star status,” Iris joked, letting herself be pushed toward the door.

  “Right now, that's just what you are,” Nat teased.

  “You’re the one who’s wearing that dress so you’re just as bad,” Iris said as she stepped into the hall.

  “Uh!” Nat scoffed a laugh. “The only thing this dress is about is being clean. Get into the elevator,” Nat bossed. Now that she knew Iris liked her aggressive side she was going to play it up.

  “Mmm, you might have to force me,” Iris teased.

  “Oh, you think I won't?” Nat threatened playfully.

  The elevator opened and Nat pulled Iris close by the hem of her pants before pushing her body in. It wasn't super forceful, just enough to let Iris know that she could.

  “I’ve seen your guns. I bet you could force me to do all sorts of things,” Iris played.

  The elevator doors closed and they started their descent.

  “Are you into that?” Nat asked, curious. She knew enough to be careful with these questions. Olivia had taught her many fucked up things. The last thing Nat wanted was another bait and kill situation. Even playful things like this had the power to bring Nat a great amount of unwanted stress.

  “Sure but it’s not all I’m into. I really liked taking care of you earlier. Your pleasure brings me pleasure too and I know I’d like anything you did to me. I just like you in general. You don’t have to do anything in particular to turn me on.”

  Nat walked all the way into the lift, placing her hand on Iris's stomach and walking her back into the corner so she could trap her with a kiss.

  Iris gave in to anything Nat wanted her to do and gave her all of the control, at least for a while. She’d give as good as she got later. She liked bossy Nat. It was intriguing.

  “What do you like?” Iris whispered.

  “I like this,” Nat said, staring. Then she kissed her again, rolling her eyes at how good she was. She ran her hand up between Iris's breasts and pulled away when the elevator made a ding sound. She kept her hand on Iris's chest and walked backward out of the lift.

  “Fuck, you’re perfect,” Iris sighed.

  She followed Nat and stayed close, enraptured by everything Nat was doing.

  When Iris came close Nat slipped her hand into hers and tightened her grip to keep her near. The restaurant was busy for a weeknight. Nat stopped at the host station and told the woman her name. It only took a few minutes while they cleared them a table.

  Nat rubbed Iris's lower back and held her hand. It was super couplish. Nat missed constant intimacy. Not many people inspired the physical aspects of that. Iris easily did.

  The hostess showed them to the table and sat the menus down. Iris slid into one side of the booth and grabbed the menu. Across from her, Nat settled in and looked around. When the waitress came to ask for their drink orders Nat got an ice water.

  “Can I see your phone,” Nat asked. She wanted to be nosey and learn things, dig right into Iris's personal life. The film put them on a time crunch. Emotional things needed to move just as fast as the physical for Natalie. If all Iris wanted was sex they'd drift apart after the project was through, Natalie knew she didn't want another fling. She was done with being rejected by girls. If Iris broke her heart now, Nat would probably completely swear off women.

  Iris laughed and handed Nat her phone. She put her code in when Nat brought up the lock screen. Across from her, Nat began to openly search for hidden details about her personality and about her life. The first thing she did was open Iris's Instagram account and start to scroll.

  Of course, that was a huge mistake. Iris's feed was a lot like Olivia's. Artistic shots of plants and sunlight. Candid photos of people she didn't know. Melancholy book quotes and coffee cups next to books near fireplaces and windowsills. There was another account with pictures of Iris on stage and some candid photos in various locations. That had to be her public account.

  “Can I see yours?” Iris asked.

  “Uhhh…” Nat looked up at her, nervously. “As long as you promise not to judge,” Nat said. She tugged her phone from her purse and pushed it over to her. Since it was late in the day the timer automatically took her lock off.

  Iris took the phone and checked out all of Nat’s apps. It was the usual. She opened the gallery and started looking through the pictures. There were tons of Nat with other people and shots taken at parties. She flipped to the next photo and all of a sudden a naked Nat stared back at her in a sexy pose. Her eyes got big and she stared at it for a full ten seconds before flipping to some more clothed photos.

  She backed out of there and looked through the folders that Nat had. There was one titled: Baby Girl and she opened it. The first few pictures were just Nat with one of the girls from the photo in her room. Iris swallowed and felt her heart pick up. This had to be Olivia. She flicked her finger across the screen and went to the next photo. Her heart sank, it was a naked photo of the girl and then after that another one. She kept flipping and found more of just her face with certain expressions and then more naked ones. She backed out of that folder and had to stop for a second. She scrolled down and found a folder titled: Lil Knight. She opened it and saw pictures of the blonde girl from the picture in the hotel.

  This one must be Avery, Iris thought. There weren’t as many pictures in this folder. They were both gorgeous, Iris could admit that. When another naked photo flashed on screen she shook her head and smiled.

  Iris left the gallery and checked the Instagram app. There were pictures of Nat with friends again, some of the places she had been. Some of the photos looked professional and had Nat in high fashion. She bit her lip and tried to think about these pictures rather than the naked ones of other girls.

  She switched to the other linked account. This one was photos of Nat, Avery, and Olivia with other random things she had no context for. Then she laughed when she saw a picture of herself. She was on set and had taken off her jacket so she was wearing a sleeveless black shirt and the uniform pants from the movie. The caption read, how am I supposed to form words when my co-star looks like this?

  The naked photos were forgotten for the moment. Iris turned the phone around and showed Nat what she was looking at.

  “Why are you so fucking cute?”

  “Hey!” Nat said, laughing and reaching over to rescue her phone. “You weren't supposed to know about that.”

  All Nat had found was that Iris was the kind of person who didn't take nearly enough pictures of herself.

  “Guess your secret’s out,” Iris teased.

  She looked at the picture again. Below there was one comment from AveryLockhart that just said: Daaaaaaamn. You didn’t tell me you were in a movie with Iris Dupree.

  She chuckled and handed Nat’s phone back. “At least your friend Avery is impressed.” Iris crossed her arms on the table and watched Nat look at her phone.

  Nat had stumbled on an interesting conversation between Iris and Ellie. “Aw fuck,” Nat mumbled, straightening up in her chair. “Your ex is pretty hot,” Nat confessed.

  Iris frowned and shrugged. “She’s pretty manipulative and evil too so that negates the heat.”

  “Sorry,” Nat said, lowering the phone down and pushing it away.

  “Don’t be sorry. Did you read the conversation? I deleted the old ones from when we were together but she still texts me sometim
es when she’s bored and wants to see if she can screw with me some more. Thank god, she lives in London now. She used to be my assistant and traveled with me when we were dating.”

  “Dangerous,” Nat said, being careful with her. “Did she chase your friends away?” Nat had a lot of experience with toxic people, she’d dealt with them her entire life.

  “The ones she could, yeah. She tried to do it with Jared but he figured it out and he and Stan did an intervention with me. Once they told me things she’d been saying behind my back I confronted her and she tried to do the same thing again and placate me. I basically let her walk all over me for a year until then and after I broke up with her she tried to seduce Jared to get back at me.”

  “Baby…” Nat reached out across the table to try and hold her hand.

  Iris let her take it and hold it. “I didn’t think I was that gullible but she was smart and of course Jared turned her down and told me. I didn’t think I would feel anything for anyone after that. She kind of fucked me up even more than I was before.”

  She shook her head and looked at Nat. “Sorry, I just figured I should tell you the gist of it since we’re dating and all.”

  “I wanna know,” Nat comforted.

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. We don’t know much about each other yet. I want to know everything and I don’t mind talking about painful things with you. You make me feel safe in ways I haven’t in a long time,” Iris admitted.

  The pictures in Nat’s phone still haunted her but she was going to choose to ignore it for now. She didn’t want to think about Nat just dropping her because of Olivia. That she didn’t feel safe about but she chose to deal with that possibility in order to have Nat.

  “I'm glad,” Nat said. “What Ellie put you through sounds like bullshit. I hate that I wasn't there to help you.”

  “Ah, see, Ellie would have hated you because you’re so hot and smart,” Iris smiled. Then she laughed and rolled her eyes. “Which means she would have tried to sleep with you.”

  “Ugh, don't say that,” Nat mumbled. She didn't like that Iris would even have to think about that.

  “It’s true. Especially because you’re more famous than I am. She’d be all over that, but whatever. She’s not here and not in my life but you are,” Iris said.

  They ordered food and didn’t have to wait long. It was easy stuff. Iris ordered a salad with chicken and black beans, Nat, the salmon with risotto.

  Iris didn’t eat much. The talk of Ellie killed her appetite. She drank a lot of her water and asked for a whiskey. When it came, she didn’t sip it like normal. She took it like a shot in two goes and then had some more water.

  “You okay?” Nat asked, worried. Iris seemed a little down and Nat wondered if it was her fault.

  “Yeah, I’m good, which is shocking but true.”

  “What's going on,” Nat asked nervous about her. She’d been so happy to see her before.

  “Nothing out of the ordinary. I’m fine, I promise,” Iris assured.

  Nat drank some more of her water and wondered if this was the sex thing. A lot of people wanted the sex a lot more than the other stuff and it always worried her if she was genuinely interested in someone, like now.

  “We can go,” Nat suggested.

  “No. You should finish your dinner. I’m fine. I just still get a little triggered, for lack of a better word, when I talk about her. I was totally in love with her and so fucking blind for so long. She knew exactly how to keep stringing me along. The little touches and the affection. I need that. She ruined my life for a while is all. I’m better now. Like I said, this is nothing to what usually happens. I get panicky and shut myself off but I don’t want to do that. I just want to focus on you and being with you,” Iris explained.

  Nat put her fork down and pushed her plate away, holding her arms on the edge or the table and staring at her. “Okay, we should get some cake to-go and we should get the hell out of here,” Nat explained.

  “I won’t argue with you since that means I get you alone but we don’t have to if you want to finish here,” Iris smiled.

  “I just wanted to hang out with you a little,” Nat explained. It was more than sex to her and she worried about not being good enough, not being nice enough. She pulled a few bills from her purse and threw them up onto the table. “Come on,” she urged, standing up. She chugged the rest of her drink and held her hand out for Iris.

  “You’re not mad, are you?” Iris asked.

  “Not at all,” Nat said.

  “Okay, good, but I think we should go out and do tourist stuff on our day off since we didn’t get to do it today. As long as you’re up for it,” Iris said. She remembered how tired Nat had been when she came to the trailer.

  “As long as I'm not boring you, I'm good,” Nat said.

  Iris laughed. “Oh baby, you can’t bore me. I could watch you do your taxes and be fascinated,” Iris admitted. She was utterly taken by anything that Nat did that the suggestion was ridiculous to her.

  “I don't do my taxes,” Natalia laughed.

  “Well, damn… there goes that suggestion for tonight’s activities,” Iris joked. “I was so looking forward to you filling in forms and typing on a calculator.”

  “I'm not saying I can't do it,” Nat teased.

  They walked to the bakery counter and Nat asked for a slice of cake to go. They were out of there quickly.

  “We could always just hang out and watch something till we fall asleep or talk for hours. I like hearing about your life,” Iris said.

  Nat eyed her and smiled. Of course she wanted to believe that Iris was telling the truth. “I need a real shower,” Nat reminded. “As long as you get in bed with me at some point I really don't care what we do.”

  “I can join you for the shower or just sit with you in the bathroom.” Iris was still pretty sure that Nat would just disappear from existence at some point.

  “Unless that’s weird and then I can do something else,” Iris laughed.

  “Join me,” Nat said. They walked back into the apartment building and got onto the elevator.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” Iris teased.

  She pulled Nat’s back into her front and wrapped her arms around Nat’s waist.

  “You always smell like heaven,” Iris commented.

  “Mmmm,” Nat hummed. “Will you have some more whiskey with me upstairs?” Nat didn't want to think anymore.

  “Yeah, of course,” she replied.

  When the elevator stopped at Nat’s floor, Iris released her and followed her out. Nat went to the bottle she had handy when they got into the room and poured two glasses. She gave one to Iris who sipped on hers and watched Nat.

  Something had shifted with them and she was trying to figure it out. Maybe it was finding out more about one another. Iris’s mind was full. Maybe Nat didn’t like her as much now that she knew how Ellie ruined her. Maybe she was thinking about Olivia.

  Nat crawled up onto the couch and sat up near the corner pushing her heels against her butt and laying her head back against the vanity cushion. “What are you thinking,” she asked, watching her.

  “Honestly? Wondering if you find me less attractive now that you know more,” Iris confessed.

  “Baby, what the hell?” Nat asked, rolling her eyes. She leaned forward and put her whiskey down onto the coffee table. Then she tugged on Iris to get her to turn around and lay back against her form. “No,” Nat said concretely, cradling her. “No. I find you more attractive the more time I spend with you, okay?”

  “Okay, that’s a relief,” Iris said, leaning her weight against Nat. “You know those irrational fears you get when things are going well and you’re sure the floor’s going to drop from under you at some point? That’s where my head is at way too much,” Iris explained.

  “Mine too,” Nat confessed.

  “I’m sorry you spend time there too but you can always tell me what you’re afraid of and I’ll understand. It’s a lonely pla
ce,” Iris said.

  She took a deep breath and let herself enjoy Nat’s embrace and was glad that she’d been honest.

  “Well, right now, I'm worried that you don't think I want you and I really really do.”

  “Now, you don’t have to worry about that anymore because I believe you,” Iris said, squeezing Nat’s arm. “Anything else? I’m open for clearing things up.”

  Iris gave a soft laugh and thought about how tonight could have been a disaster.

  “You feel good,” Nat said, petting her. “I still really want to taste you, I just needed to look at you for a while. I wanted to, rather. Sorry if that's confusing.”

  “It’s not confusing. Being around you isn’t about sex. Okay, it is when we have sex but I mean, I want to just be with you too because that’s what I crave in a relationship. I’m not sure I could ever have a relationship that was just about sex. I never have anyway. I’ve just been hoping that’s something you want with me too,” Iris said.

  “I've just had a lot of let downs,” Natalie explained.

  “If you could point those people out, I’ll have them taken out immediately,” Iris joked.

  “I don't wanna think about them,” Nat explained.

  “Then think about me. Ask me questions or tell me things. We could always play quarters with your expensive whiskey,” Iris smiled.

  She pet Nat’s arm with one hand and her leg with the other.

  Nat teased Iris by pulling the hem of her shirt up just a little.

  “Or taking my shirt off is another viable option,” Iris teased.

  “You should probably be naked,” Nat said.

  “I could be if I get up.”

  She leaned forward and removed herself from Nat’s grasp. When she stood up she turned around to face the couch and slowly moved her hands to the hem of her shirt. She met Nat’s eyes and then smiled when Nat’s eyes strayed to her hands, she slowly pulled her shirt up but she did it in a teasing way.

  She was giving Nat a little show. Dancing to an invisible rhythm and pulling her cardigan off and tossing it on a side chair. She turned and dropped her butt down a little near Nat’s eye level and drew her shirt up. When she turned around again she pulled her shirt off and tossed it on the chair too. It missed and fell to the floor.