by Blythe Stone
“Family does tend to get paranoid,” Olivia conceded.
“Yeah, I’m shocked I’ve only gotten one call from my parents,” Iris said.
“Do you have a good relationship?” Olivia asked.
Nat put more food on her fork to feed Iris.
“I’m good, babe,” Iris said, turning down the food. She rubbed Nat’s arm and then looked over at Olivia. “We’re close. They’re in music too so I grew up surrounded by it. Mom started teaching me guitar and piano when I was little and then I got to watch her write songs all the time. My dad is really good with production and drums,” she explained.
“That sounds really sweet,” Olivia said.
“It was nice. We didn’t always get along of course. My dad wasn’t thrilled about me being gay at first. He came around,” Iris explained.
“Aww…” Olivia mused. Everyone has their own journey when it comes to that.
“What about you, Olivia?” Iris asked.
“Me?”
Olivia was unsure of what Iris wanted to know.
Nat kept picking at Olivia's food so Olivia started to pick at Nat's. Iris watched them and pushed her food close to their plates.
“Are you close to your parents?” Iris asked.
“Um. A little,” Olivia said.
“Ah, just a little?” Iris asked.
“Um,” Olivia looked to Nat and then back to Iris. “We've been better the past few years but my childhood was strange.”
“Strange?” Iris asked and then she put her hand on the table. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m just nosey.”
“Olivia was a very quiet child,” Natalie said.
“We just didn't talk a lot,” Olivia said.
“Gotcha,” Iris said. She didn’t press anymore. “This coffee is really good,” Iris changed the subject.
“Oh, yeah, its great,” Olivia agreed.
“Olivia's parents are really interesting,” Nat explained. “Her mom's a judge and her dad is like Mr. Future.”
“Mr Future?” Olivia asked, surprised.
“You know what I mean,” Nat laughed. “I'm sorry I still don't understand what that company even does.”
“It’s fine,” Olivia laughed. “And, you're right, it's not simple.”
“Just like you,” Nat said affectionately.
“Anyway, having a healthy relationship with them wasn't something I realized I wanted until recently. It's pretty healthy now.”
“Way healthier than mine,” Nat said.
“That's why you have me,” Olivia comforted.
“And me,” Iris said.
Nat looked over at Iris and squeezed her hand.
“And on that note,” Olivia said. “I need to use the ladies room.” She got up from the table and wandered off.
Nat waited until she was out of earshot. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I’m happy to have coffee. I just wish we didn’t have to work,” Iris replied, looking at her.
“Do you feel sick? You've hardly eaten lately. Is it the Olivia stuff?” Nat was worried about upsetting the equilibrium.
“No, I’m not sick. I’m a little tired and stressed but not sick. Everything’s fine,” Iris said.
She hugged Nat’s arm and gave her a small smile.
“Okay,” Nat said, still searching her. “Just let me know if you get hungry or you want space or anything. I don't wanna run you into the ground.” Sleep had been pretty rare.
“I don’t want space and I’m just worried about the scenes coming up,” Iris confessed.
“Do you wanna practice? I can help you.”
“Yeah, sure. I think the stalker thing has got me all in my head,” Iris said.
“What?” Nat's heart sunk a little. She kissed Iris's forehead and snuggled with her. “Talk to me baby,” she mumbled amongst her worry.
“It’s just strange. It’s obvious that things like that happen but I just don’t get why me. There’s no real answer to that but it still makes me sad because it’s affected you.”
“What? Babe, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about that,” Nat soothed. They hadn't really gotten into it. Natalie had been harassed in person and stalked before. None of this was new.
“I do worry,” Iris said. “ Then, I always worry. You’re very important to me.”
Nat breathed deep and hugged her. “You're very important to me too sweetie. I'd freak out if anything happened to you.”
“Exactly how I feel about you. Did I mention that I have a fun anxiety disorder?” Iris chuckled.
“Uh, you did not,” Nat laughed and hugged Iris's head. “But you should probably tell me about that so I can help you.” Iris was adorable and Nat was definitely infatuated now.
“It’s not a big thing. It’s been this way since I was younger. I guess I don’t think to tell people and it’s not the first thing I want to talk about with people. They tend to think I’m being dramatic or that I’m just shy. I get overwhelmed easily in certain situations is all,” Iris explained.
“Is this overwhelming,” Nat asked, concerned.
“No, this is calming. You’re good for me,” Iris said.
“Okay,” Nat said, loving her. “Just… Tell me if you want something, okay? I wanna be helpful.”
“You are. Thank you. Sometimes it makes me feel weak to say anything and then it’s a big circle of worry,” Iris confessed.
“You're not weak,” Nat soothed. “There's a lot in this world to worry about and that's overwhelming. It makes sense.”
“Well, that’s true,” Iris said. She grew quiet.
“If there's anything I can do to help when it happens just let me know.”
“I will. You’re sweet and I know you’d be there for me.” She kissed Nat’s cheek and pushed her hair back from her face.
“I was really excited about this movie but somehow it’s turned out to be secondary to meeting you,” Iris said.
“Same,” Nat said. “I dunno how I'd be right now if it weren't for you.”
“What do you mean? You’d be fine, right?” Iris asked, brow wrinkling.
“I dunno,” Nat shrugged and made a face. “Life has been pretty intense lately.”
“Intense how?” Iris asked.
“It's hard to explain,” Nat said. “I'd been trying not to get close to anyone.”
“Because of Olivia?” Iris asked.
“No,” Nat said, shaking her head. “Because there's something wrong with me.”
Olivia came back from the bathroom and sat down.
“Sorry,” she glowed. “Got a little lost in there.”
“You're okay babe,” Nat told her.
Iris cleared her throat and tried not to ask the question that haunted her. They could continue this later when they were alone.
Chapter 18
Reality Crash
Visiting set wasn’t the most entertaining way to spend a day but Olivia confessed that she'd rather be close to Natalie than laying around at her place all alone.
Iris had a scene-heavy day and Nat was almost completely free since her first weeks were both more intense. The result of that was a very tired and lonely Iris while Nat and Olivia got to tour the set and screw around.
Too many cupcakes and a lot of teasing selfies were sent across the West Coast to Avery’s phone. By the time it was two, Nat and Olivia had exhausted themselves. They sent Iris a message letting her know that they were going to hunker down and take a nap in Natalie's trailer. That way they'd be close if she wanted company and they could wait around and eventually escort her back home.
Iris came looking for them after her last scene and found them there, asleep in the trailer on the bed. She frowned, watching them tied up in one another the way she and Nat always ended up. Iris didn’t know what to feel first.
Jealousy, sadness, resignation and fondness were all fighting and it wasn’t made easier by how easy it was to like Olivia. If she were a bad person Iris might find t
hat justification. She sat down on the bench nearby and took a breath.
She didn’t want to wake them but she should. They needed to get back.
“Hey, guys,” she called, shaking Nat’s leg.
Nat shifted and breathed deep. “Aw, sweetie, finally,” Nat smiled. She sat up and reached for her to bend down and give her a kiss. “Are you free?”
“Yep, we just finished. You looked cute. I didn’t want to wake you,” Iris said.
“Aww. Always wake me,” Nat smiled. Nat’s touch began to break her down in a good way. She kissed her deeply and staring lovingly into Natalie’s eyes.
“I’m glad you got some rest. I feel like we’ve been going non-stop the last few days. I feel gross now. I was sweating so much on set. I should-”
She was interrupted by the buzz of her phone. Without thinking, she answered the call.
“Hello?”
When the voice came over the line her heart dropped and adrenaline made her heart thump.
“What the fuck do you want?” She growled, standing up.
She put her hand to her mouth and bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to stop the string of curse words from escaping her.
“Come on, Iris. Be nice,” Ellie said.
“I have no incentive to be nice to you,” Iris said. She was fuming, her body shook and she kept blinking. What she wanted was to curl into a ball and exist only in her own mind.
“I’m just calling to congratulate you on the whole movie deal and to tell you that I have something of yours that you’ll want back.”
“Baby?” Nat asked, coming close and touching Iris’s back. “You okay?”
Iris didn’t reply at first, she just stood there.
“Iris?” Ellie asked.
Iris let the hand with the phone fall to her side before she turned to Nat, dazed and in shock.
“It’s Ellie,” she said. She put the phone back to her ear. “What do you have?” Iris asked, her voice vacant.
Nat wasn't sure what Iris needed but she could tell she was upset so she stayed with her, rubbed her back and kissed her hair.
Olivia got up from the bed and sat on the edge of it, worried.
“Meet me and I’ll tell you,” Ellie said.
“No.” Iris said.
“Seriously, you’ll want to have this. I promise,” Ellie assured.
“Fuck you,” Iris cursed.
“You used to like that,” Ellie replied.
Acid rose in Iris’s throat and she knew if she didn’t do something quick she would throw it up.
“Whatever. Just text me. I can’t talk to you,” Iris said, hanging up the phone and tossing it to the couch.
She took off for the bathroom and threw up stomach acid and the few spoonfuls of food she’d eaten throughout the day.
“Oh sweetie,” Nat said, following her quickly and helping her with her hair. Soon after, Iris felt a hand on her back rubbing it.
“Should I get water?” Olivia asked from just behind.
“Yes, please,” Iris managed to say.
“Are you okay?” Nat whispered.
Olivia brought a water from the fridge and unscrewed the top. Nat took it from her and offered it to Iris. “Drink baby.”
“Sorry,” Iris said. She took the water and had a drink of it. For a moment, it soothed the burn in her throat. She took a longer gulp and raised herself up from where she had sat next to the toilet.
“I need to sit down,” she told Nat.
Iris’s cheeks flared red and she kept her eyes down as she made her way to the couch and sat.
“Uh, that was Ellie,” she said.
She struggled to say the name again. The first time around she hadn’t been thinking about it.
“She wants something. I don’t know what but she said she has something of mine that I’ll want back. She wouldn’t say what,” Iris told them.
“Hey honey,” Nat said, kneeling before her and touching her knees. “Just breathe a little.”
Olivia had walked off but she came back with a wet rag and sat down next to Iris. “Can I touch you,” she asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Iris said.
“Okay,” Olivia breathed shakily. “This always helps me.” She put the cool rag to Iris's forehead and started to press it a little all around her warm neck and face.
“Thank you,” Iris said.
She was staring at the floor and feeling everything she used to when she heard Ellie’s voice. All of the anger and pain. The inability to hate because she had once loved her. Iris was receding into herself.
“You guys should go to dinner or something. I need to take a walk,” Iris said.
She got up and the rag fell to the couch. She left her phone and walked to the door, opening it and stepping outside so she could breathe in the open air.
Olivia looked to Nat, concerned. Nat shrugged. “Who’s Ellie,” Olivia asked.
“The ex,” Nat said, crawling up onto the couch to pick up Iris's phone and sit beside Olivia.
They both stared down at the phone in Nat's hands. As if possessed, the thing started to ring. Ellie's name flashed up. Nat answered it and tried to remain calm. “What is it,” she asked.
Olivia slipped her hand into Nat's and squeezed.
“Oh? Who is this?” Ellie asked.
“Do you have a message or not,” Nat asked.
“I want to talk to Iris. She hung up on me, which is not like her,” Ellie said.
“She doesn't want to talk to you,” Nat said.
“Yes she does. She’s just being stubborn. I’m just checking on her,” Ellie said.
“Well, you've upset her and she's not interested in having a conversation. Is there something you want me to tell her or not?”
Olivia breathed in deep and leaned her body over Natalie's to hug her back.
“You’re Natalie aren’t you?” Ellie asked.
Nat put the phone down in her lap and hung it up.
A few seconds later it started to buzz again.
This time Olivia took the phone. “Uh. Hello,” she said. “Iris can’t come to the phone right now, can I take a message?”
“Another person?” There was a short pause and then Ellie scoffed. “Whatever, just tell Iris that I have her grandpop’s guitar and if she wants it back she needs to meet me.”
“Meet you where,” Olivia asked.
“My apartment in L.A. or I can come to hers,” Ellie said.
“Interesting,” Olivia murmured. “I'll let her know. Is there anything else?”
“Tell her that I miss her,” Ellie said.
“Will do,” Olivia answered. She lowered the phone to her lap and ended the call. “Weird,” she said.
“No. Annoying,” Nat corrected.
Nat got up and walked to the door, opening it up and peeking out. Across the grass, she could see Iris sitting down on the ground. “Fuck,” Nat muttered. “Wait here. I'll be back.” Nat wasn't the kind of person who could just stay away when someone she loved was obviously in pain. She left the trailer and started to walk over and check on her. There weren't really rules for this, since she didn't know Iris yet.
“Baby?” When she was close enough Nat called out to her to see if she would talk.
“Hey,” Iris answered. “Sorry I ran off.”
“Do you still need time?” Nat asked, worried.
“No,” Iris said.
Iris drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
“If you guys want to leave, I can call an Uber.”
“Do you want us to leave,” Nat asked, confused. She stood close to her, unsure of what she should do. “Why don't you let us take you home? I'll help you shower and we can all rest there. You've gotta be exhausted baby.”
“I don’t want you to leave. I just don’t want to ruin your night with Olivia,” Iris said.
“You won't,” Nat said. “We’re both worried.”
“I also don’t want you to have to see this but too late,” Iri
s said.
“See what,” Nat asked. “That you're human?”
“Yeah, I was trying to come off as an immortal gay vampire,” Iris said, managing a bitter joke.
“Mmm.. Broody stares. I get it,” Nat teased. She lowered herself down to sit beside Iris. After a second, she nudged her shoulder. “Talk to me,” she asked.
“She just gets to me,” Iris said. “When I realized it was her my entire body felt numb and then like I was about to run for my life.”
“She doesn’t deserve your emotions,” Nat said.
“She doesn’t but it’s just what happens. She uses it and talks until I don’t know if I’m the crazy one and she’s right or if I’m right,” Iris explained.
“You're the good one. That's all that matters,” Nat said.
“I would have just blocked her entirely but I knew she’d find a way to call me and I wouldn’t know it was coming but still. I didn’t think long enough to check the caller I.D. My guard was down.”
“I'm sorry she hurt you,” Nat settled on.
“Yeah, me too but we should go in. I don’t want to waste anymore time on her.”
“You sure?” Nat asked. She didn't want to rush Iris into trying to feel comfortable again.
“I am. A shower sounds good and so does a drink,” Iris said.
At that, Nat smiled. “Come on,” she said, standing and offering out her hand. Iris took it and let Nat pull her up to stand.
Chapter 19
Showers & Insecurities
The ride home was a quiet one. Olivia took the hint and busied herself, ordering delivery for the night.
Nat was concerned about Iris, the longer they were together the more she learned about how fragile and sensitive she was.
They got to the apartment and continued their careful dance, shedding bits and pieces of their clothing, walking to the fridge or the back door.
“You wanted to shower,” Olivia remembered hearing. “I'll go start it for you.”
Nat stared at Iris and smiled, once Olivia walked off. “Can I come in with you?”
“Yes, please,” Iris said.
“Good,” Nat sighed. “And we can sleep early if you want. Olivia won’t mind.”