by Blythe Stone
“You don’t have to,” Iris said.
“You need a good night of sleep. I keep stealing it. That can't be healthy.”
Nat normally wouldn't be so worried but Iris was showing cracks now and she was worried about breaking her up.
“Baby, I can sleep and you guys can do something. I don’t want to mess things up,” Iris said.
“You don't mess things up,” Nat assured.
Iris looked down and sighed.
“I think I used up all of my selflessness now. All I want is to crawl up in bed, naked with you,” Iris said.
“And we can do that,” Nat said.
“I’m kind of amazed by you,” Iris said, looking up at her.
“Why,” Nat asked, swallowing.
“Because you’ve managed to make me feel better when I feel like trash,” Iris told her.
“I want you to feel better,” Nat said. A little exhausted, she played with her hair and scratched her head. “It kills me to think you might really think of yourself like that.”
Olivia came back out, wiping her hands as she walked into the kitchen towards the wine. “Its warm now,” she said, giving Iris and Natalie their space. “The food’s gonna come in about twenty but I can watch stuff and hangout if you guys wanna be alone.”
“Thanks sweetie,” Nat said. “We're gonna shower and relax.”
“And I am going to drink all your wine,” Olivia laughed. “Feel better,” she said sweetly.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Iris told Olivia. “This shouldn’t have been how your visit started.”
“Oh sweetie, no,” Olivia sighed. “Don't be sorry, it's fine. I just want you to feel better. We'll have plenty of days.” She stood in the kitchen with her glass of wine and seemed about as genuine as a person could be.
“Come on,” Nat urged. “Let's get you cleaned up.”
THANK YOU, Nat mouthed to Olivia on her way to her room.
When they hit the bedroom, Iris started to take of her clothes. She was tired of being in them.
“Here,” Nat said, gently reaching and helping her. She took her own clothes off second and kissed Iris's skin before leading her into the bathroom.
Olivia had hung two towels up side-by-side on the bar. They’d been folded before. Natalie noticed and it made her feel good.
The steam was already fogging the mirror.
“How do people turn out like that,” Iris asked. She looked at the mirror and wiped the steam away. “I mean, like Ellie.”
“I dunno baby,” Nat said. She kissed Iris's shoulder and wondered what else she could do to soothe. Since words were not naturally escaping her, Nat used her fingers and thumbs to message Iris's shoulder muscles. “Do you really want to talk about it?”
Mean people came about several ways.
“I want to kiss you,” Iris said. Her throat still hurt.
Nat turned her and stared into her sad fire eyes, no words could explain it. She dipped down and gifted Iris a deep kiss. The world was a heavy shroud. Nat only wanted to lift that blanket up and let in a little light.
“What's your favorite thing about me?” Iris asked.
“Right now?” Nat smirked into kissing her. “I love that you're sweet.”
Nat had been careful before now. The “love” word hadn't been one she wanted to just throw out there. Her heart felt it taking over and creeping in but she wanted to be cautious and wait until the feeling was yelling and screaming at her inside.
“My favorite thing about you is that you are the most kind and genuine person I've met,” Iris told her.
Nat kissed her again, pushing her hair back and out of her face with her hand.
“I love your voice,” Nat said, heavy but also a little turned on.
“Then you should keep me around. I'll talk to you all the time,” Iris said.
“I have no plans of leaving you,” Nat soothed.
Nat felt a little guilty now, stretching Iris thin with this visit. All the stuff with Ellie, it surprised Nat. Such fresh and open wounds could be very dangerous in a new relationship. That Iris cared about Ellie at all was discouraging.
“Good. I lov- that,” Iris stumbled.
Nat looked at her, interested.
Iris laid her head on Nat’s shoulder and took a deep breath.
The water felt amazing. Being in this close proximity was making her say all sorts of things.
“Mmm,” Nat hummed, content to just play with Iris’s smooth wet hair and hold her. “We should probably stay in here forever.”
“Agreed, so we’re moving into the shower. We can always be naked together. No one is going to mind,” Iris joked.
“I see nothing wrong with this plan,” Nat smiled.
“It’s settled. We should probably tell Olivia that we won’t be joining her for dinner.”
Nat laughed, “I'm sure she's occupied.” She stared down at Iris's eyes and loved the way Iris didn't always look at her. It made it all the more tempting to stare.
There were several ways Iris could choose to keep Nat occupied. She settled on looking and touching. For now.
“You're amazing,” Nat said, feeling her body. “It's been a long time since I've felt this comfortable with someone… like I can actually be myself. You still make me nervous but.. I trust you. And I can't trust many people.”
“I hope even the nervousness goes away. Probably because it's only been a week, which is crazy,” Iris pointed out.
“It's been more than a week,” Nat said. “But you're right, it’s not enough time.”
“Feels like longer,” Iris admitted.
Nat kissed her forehead.
“I should probably at least wash my hair,” Iris told her.
“Hang on,” Nat said, holding her close and swaying with her. “I'll get it,” she said, after a few extra seconds.
From then, the washing was careful and loving. Nat took her time adoring her and they got out before the water had a chance to get cold.
“Can I interest you in a drink,” Nat asked, remembering that Iris had wanted one. She'd been towel drying her hair but now it hung loose to one side as she ran her fingers through her wet waves and snuck a glance over at her semi-dressed pet. Iris was only in her underwear, buttoning up a silk top over her ample bare chest.
“That sounds good,” Iris replied. She found her pj pants and tugged them on, not bothering to put anything on her feet even though they’d be cold.
“Pick your poison,” Nat said, walking over to Iris and tugging her close by her hips. “Mmm, okay, I don’t even wanna get dressed now. You’re hot.” Nat stared down Iris’s shirt to catch a nice full glimpse of her hidden skin.
“Sometimes taking your clothes off is more fun though so I recommend pajamas,” Iris teased.
“Oh, right,” Nat mumbled, kneading Iris’s skin. She was caught up in the moment. “I’ll get right on that,” she droned.
Instead of dressing, she dipped her lips to Iris’s neck and licked at it, tasting the soap and dampness of her hydrated skin. So delicious and sweet. “Mmm,” she hummed. “Okay, okay, I’ll get you a drink, I swear.” But she couldn’t really, not yet anyway. Nat was addicted to tasting Iris right now, showing her that she loved her body and skin. Water tasted better off Iris’s skin. It was insane.
“I can get it myself. You don’t have to do it. You seem preoccupied anyway,” Iris smirked.
“Ah,” Nat breathed, completely taken by her. “Can I at least watch you?”
“Watch me get a drink?” Iris asked.
“Mmhmm,” Nat said, eyes never leaving her new girl’s body.
“You can watch me do anything,” Iris answered.
Olivia was in the other room and all of Nat’s attention was on Iris. The knowledge made Iris’s heart jump.
“Alright, just tell me if I’m bothering you,” Nat laughed at herself. She found some underwear and put them on, putting on some soft cotton joggers and a thin oversized modal shirt. “Fuck,” she sighed, squatting on the
ground near her drawer and running her fingers through her hair at the roots.
“You can’t get on my nerves unless you leave me alone,” Iris laughed.
“Aww, but I bet you’re so cute when you’re mad,” Nat laughed, standing up and lovingly pinching Iris’s side.
Iris jumped a little when Nat pinched her and frowned.
“I’m not cute. When I get mad it’s scary. I usually go to sad before mad and then once I get angry I’m pretty impossible.”
“Aww,” Nat tried to imagine. Iris had only been happy with her. Nothing more. She walked close to her and bullied Iris into moving out toward the door to get that drink. They weren’t exactly crunched for time but Nat wanted to enjoy every piece of it before they fell to sleep.
“You say that,” Iris moved toward the door and they entered the living room. “I think I actually scared Ellie once.”
“Uhhh, explain,” Nat asked, following her out.
Their temporary live-in, Olivia, had been laying down on the couch just off of the kitchen, scrolling endlessly in the app on her phone. When the girls came out, her eyes flashed and she got a little nervous since she didn’t exactly expect to see them again. She sat up and started to take the food out of the take out bags just in case.
“I just got in her face one night after she told me that I needed her or I would never be successful,” Iris answered.
“Oh god,” Nat said, mood changing at just that thought. “That’s not right.”
Nat went over to the counter and raised her body up to sit ontop of it while Iris putted about the kitchen on a quest for something great.
Nat looked to the other side of the large room where Olivia was sitting. Catching Olivia's gaze, Nat nodded her head back to greet her, making fake air kisses at her friend just to tease.
Olivia smiled, blushed, and immediately relaxed. Entertaining was always a little draining but she had that instinct in her so it was hard to let go.
“Were you guys just fighting or did she really think like that?” Nat wondered. When she first met Iris, Nat never imagined that Iris would be insecure about anything. Conversely, she imagined that any person dating Iris would have to be someone immensely talented to be able to capture such a bold and intense heart.
“I think she just said it to try and annoy me. She was very good at pushing my buttons. I honestly don’t know though. She was very different when we met.”
“How long were you together,” Nat asked.
“About a year and a half,” Iris answered.
“How'd you meet?” Nat wanted to know everything.
Olivia got up from the couch and walked over. Carrying a Chinese food carton in her hand she set it down on the counter beside Natalie's knees and leaned her body in between Nat's legs to rest on her and get a free hug. The food was an offering. Nat held her and loved it but she was concerned about this Ellie stuff now and worried that Iris had been caught up with a bad person for so long.
“Online. We were part of the same music subreddit and we started talking to one another and then we started texting. Turned out she was from Kansas City,” Iris said.
“Wow, okay. This is making a lot more sense now,” Nat teased. She kissed Olivia's head and squeezed her.
“Uh huh, anyway,” Iris said.
Wine wouldn’t be enough for this so Iris went straight for the whiskey. She poured a glass and went to stand near Olivia and Nat.
As soon as she got close Nat tugged on her arm to be closer and Olivia turned to see her and smile. “Mm, that looks good. Do you know a lot about whiskey?”
“Hey, I just mean, it makes more sense that you met her online,” Nat explained. She was worried she'd somehow bruised Iris on accident.
Olivia watched Iris and felt a certain type of jealousy, some girls just had everything and she envied that. But she was also in the camp of fiercely loving most women so it wasn't a bitter thing just an awe and a jealousy.
“I don’t know a lot but I do know that I like it and I also know you didn’t mean anything by it, Nat,” Iris said. Iris smiled as she took a sip. Her sad smiles were normal if you knew her.
“Would it be rude if I asked to try?” Olivia asked. She turned so her back would lean onto Nat, this way Olivia could better talk with Iris. Nat began to massage Olivia's shoulders.
“No, not rude,” Iris said.
Iris handed her glass to Olivia and tried not to look at how much they were touching. It was obviously so normal for them.
Olivia put the glass to her lips and looked up at Iris while she drank some. Her free hand rested on Natalie's thigh but Nat and Olivia both seemed used to these touching things. Iris watched and took it all in.
“Do you not want to talk about Ellie,” Nat asked, bruised.
“Wow,” Olivia breathed. “I'm a fan.” She handed the glass back to Iris.
“It’s fine. I can talk about her ,” Iris said.
Iris took the glass back and took another sip.
“Yes, I was very happy when Nat brought me here the first night and she had whiskey. She made me nervous and I needed a little liquid courage.”
“That's understandable,” Olivia said.
“Can I try?” Nat flirted. Olivia and Nat were playing with each other's hands.
“Yeah, I mean, after this it’ll be like we’ve all kissed,” Iris joked.
Olivia laughed and pushed herself away from Nat, sensing the awkward vibe. “You guys want food?” She asked this and scratched the back of her head. All of a sudden, she felt a little unwelcome.
Nat took Iris's drink and sipped. “You said that like it would be a bad thing,” she teased, speaking directly to Iris. “Come ‘ere,” she said. Holding out her free hand.
Iris let Nat pull her in but she felt odd now. Her brain was full of every anxious scenario she could fathom. She was losing it. The girl she liked had been cuddling with her ex in front of her and here Ellie was trying to barge back into her life in some way. It was a lot.
“It’s not a bad thing really. I was just joking,” Iris said.
Nat pulled her in close to her body and whispered, “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Iris lied.
“Okay,” Nat sighed, scooting down from the counter. “Babe, I think we're gonna take an early night,” she was speaking to Olivia now. “Do you need anything? I've got blankets over near the liquor. Just let me know if you're gonna leave ‘cause it'll scare the shit out of me if I wake up and you're not here.”
“I don’t want to be a downer,” Iris said. “If you guys want to do something, I can go to bed and let you. I don’t want my mood to get in the way of your visit.”
“Hey, babe, no,” Nat said, not letting Iris slink off alone.
“Um. Guys, really, I'm good,” Olivia said, a little sad and awkward. She hugged her body and tried not to be too pathetic while also telling the truth. “I'm honestly just happy to not be completely alone right now so… Be normal. Don't worry.”
“Sweetie,” Nat said, going over to Olivia and hugging her.
“I mean it,” Olivia said. “Go. I'll be good.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhmm,” Olivia nodded, a little teary. “Take food though. Please,” Olivia pushed. It was always hard for her not to get too emotional but she’d gotten a lot better at it.
“I’m pretty sure we don’t have a normal yet but you’re very sweet to ignore my rudeness,” Iris said.
“It's not rude,” Olivia defended. “You're working and tired. It makes sense. I really don't want to impose.”
Nat gathered up some of the food to bring to the room. “Come get me if you need me.”
“I'll be fine,” Olivia emotionally laughed.
Iris stayed quiet but frowned.
Olivia walked over to her and gave her a hug. “It's been great meeting you,” she said, offering tenderness in the face of something else.
“I’m sorry it’s been such a drama night and I’m happy we finally got to meet in person,” Iris sa
id.
“We’re all used to drama nights,” Olivia comforted. “Now go,” she laughed, “before I change my mind and decide to be insufferable.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. You’d have to top me,” Iris mumbled.
“You've been nothing but sweet,” Olivia answered her, leaning back and checking her face. “Good night,” she said, looking to Iris and then back to see Nat.
“Night baby,” Nat smiled lovingly.
“Night.”
“Night,” Iris said.
Olivia nodded to her.
Iris walked toward the bedroom and when she got to the bed she crawled in, moving to the farthest side and waiting for Nat.
Nat put the food down on the nightstand and went back to the bedroom door to lock it. Olivia would knock, she was good like that.
When Nat went back over to the bed she crawled under the covers and turned to stare at Iris solemnly. “What's up,” she wondered, worried about her.
“Nothing’s up. Ellie put me in a mood,” Iris winced when she said the name.
“Am I making it worse,” Nat wondered. She moved to prop herself up against the headboard and grab some chopsticks and a carton of food. She actually was starving. And now she was a little sad ontop of that. She couldn't fix anything for anyone so instead she chose to sit there and just eat. The worst part was actually feeling a little mad at Avery who was now hundreds of miles away. Being mad at Avery made no sense but Natalie felt that some times because she'd always be a little jealous of her no matter how much she loved her and cared.
“No, I’m doing that all on my own. I keep cycling between wanting to brood and being afraid I’m ruining everything,” Iris admitted.
“Hmm...” Nat hummed. “Is your stomach still upset? Can you eat?”
Nat was really getting worried about her. The girl was retreating inside and Nat didn't know what she should do about it. Iris was insanely attractive and it was super easy to get lost in that but the worry had grown.
Whiskey and no food? How was she even functioning right now?
“Come ‘ere,” Nat asked, wanting her close so she could try to feed her something.
“I’m fine, babe,” Iris said. She moved closer and pressed her face into Nat’s stomach. “I’m just sorry I’m not better company.”