by Blythe Stone
“It’s pretty, right?” Iris asked.
“Important,” Olivia corrected.
“It's good to have it back,” Iris said. Her hands wandered over the dark, shiny wood and plucked a string. It obviously needed some love but Iris had a lot of that to give.
Iris closed the case again and put the guitar in a corner of the room.
“I'll mess with that later. For now, let's celebrate!” Iris cheered.
“Okay,” Nat laughed. “What do you have in mind?”
“I have no idea. Wine and jumping in the pool?” Iris asked.
Nat laughed and got up from the chair. “Let's do it,” she said, walking over to Iris and offering her hand.
“Yes!” Iris took Nat's hand and walked along behind her.
Nat led her out to the pool and started to strip her clothes. “You've been quite good,” Nat said.
“Yeah?” Iris let her take the clothes and smiled at her.
“Mhmmm. You didn't kill anyone,” Nat reminded. “It's impressive.”
When she was just down to her underwear Nat kissed Iris's neck and held her body close. Attraction and care filled her with sentiment.
“I love this. I didn't even have to take my clothes off,” Iris said.
She hugged Nat and then moved her hands down to the hem of Nat's shirt.
“Your turn,” Iris said.
“Do your worst,” Nat breathed, tender for her.
Iris took Nat’s shirt off and then proceeded with the rest of her clothes. The stripping was in a slow and deliberate manner, keeping eye contact when she could. No one ever made her feel sexy like Nat could.
“I don’t have a worst, only a best,” Iris joked.
“I kind of believe that,” Nat stared.
“You shouldn’t. I’m totally lying.”
“That remains to be seen.”
“You ready?” Iris asked.
It was easier not to argue with Nat about things like that.
“Mhmm,” Nat nodded, taking her hand.
“I'm not sure you know how cute you are,” Iris teased.
“Whaaat?” Nat said, voice raising since Iris caught her off guard. As a descriptor, Nat got sexy a lot from other people but not cute, not often. Maybe with Avery and Olivia but that was about it.
“Yeah, the way you take care of everyone and that smirk you give me when you're flirting. You're the cutest person I've ever met.”
“You better watch it,” Nat beamed. The flattery was too much. She pulled Iris closer to the edge of the pool.
Iris raised her eyebrows and let Nat pull her along.
“Or what?” She asked.
Nat tugged her close, two hands on her sides. Right when Iris was loose Nat pushed her backwards hard and saw the fear and realization hit her as Iris realized she was about to fall.
Her body hit the water, causing a decent splash. Water hit Nat's feet and Iris stayed under the surface for a moment, before coming up for air. Once she slicked her hair back away from her face, Iris fixed her eyes on Natalie. She smirked and splashed some water up at her.
“You just wanted to get me wet.”
Olivia was on the phone at the other end of the pool, Nat slipped her body into the water and tugged Iris's legs up around her waist.
“Pretty sure I already achieved that,” Nat teased, secretly.
“Very true,” Iris admitted. She shook her head and leaned up to hug Nat's body. “I'll show you how wet later,” Iris whispered.
An undeniable shiver ran down the entirety of Nat's spine, giving her goosebumps.
Iris leaned back and watched Nat’s face, satisfied with her reaction. She hung there on Nat’s body, hanging on and letting Nat move them through the water.
“I’m going to be sad when you have to go to work without me,” Iris said.
“It'll only be a little while,” Nat soothed. “I'll work without you. You'll work without me. We'll come back together. Happier.”
The water was perfect and Nat loved Iris's skin on her own, her quiet breath. The way she stared with wide perfect eyes.
“I'm being jealous of people- time I don't get to see you in the future. Ridiculous,” Iris said.
She was already obsessed but there was no stopping it as long as Nat was into that. Iris would keep on growing more sure and attached.
“Have you ever had a stalker?” Iris asked.
“Uh. Unfortunately,” Nat smiled apprehensively. “I’ve never had a stalker I liked, if that’s what you mean.” She leaned in and kissed Iris’s forehead.
“Well, you like me so I guess you're not exactly right about that.”
“You’re not a stalker, baby.” Memories of darker times flipped through Natalie’s mind like the fine-detailed pages of a long book. “You have to not want the person there for them to be a stalker.”
She squeezed Iris tight and tried to forget about certain men. “I’ve had some pretty possessive boyfriends,” Nat explained. “And then- the terror that was Benjamin.” Nat was glad that Olivia was busy right now. There were certain things that needed to be explained time and again though she hated to explain them.
“Benjamin?" Iris asked.
“Bradford,” Nat finished. She kissed Iris’s forehead again and then her neck. “He’s a very bad man.”
“What did he do exactly?” Iris asked.
“Uh. A number of terrible things,” Nat whispered. “He hurt Avery the most but Olivia knew him and was close to him. He was there teacher, when Olivia and I were first going out. I was burned by association. And we took him down. At least, for a little while.” Explaining what Ben had done could take an awful long time. “He tortured my friends and he spied on me.”
“I hope he's gone,” Iris said. She drew closer to Nat, touching her cheek with one hand, holding on to her with the other.
“Never gone,” Nat shared. “Life isn’t easy like that.” They’d always fear of random retaliation. That tingle up the spine that accompanied the feeling of being watched. There was a reason Natalia prefered the top floor of a well-guarded complex versus a random house in the middle of the woods. Just as there was a reason Olivia really couldn’t relax when she was home near Stanford all alone.
"No, I suppose not," Iris frowned and sighed. "Maybe we should think about happy things. We're almost done shooting and then we get to do whatever we want for two whole weeks."
“I am very excited about that,” Nat breathed.
"What do you want to do?" Iris asked.
“Hang out with you,” Nat said. It didn’t really matter much as long as they did that. Iris had asked her a couple of times now and Nat always answered the same.
"I know but where?" Iris rolled her eyes.
“Oh wow,” Nat laughed, amused by her. “Am I bothering you, pretty one?”
“No, you never bother me. I just like messing with you,” Iris replied.
“Huh, well. You sounded a little annoyed,” Nat teased. She pressed Iris's back up against the side of the pool. “Just go ahead and let me know if I'm too boring for you. You wouldn't be the first one to think it.”
“If anyone ever actually thought you were boring then they're idiots. But, I'm glad because you're mine. Well, at least I'd like you to be mine,” Iris said.
“We can go anywhere,” Nat said, pushing into her and kissing her skin. It was very nice to have Iris wet. Her skin was so smooth and delicious this way. “My vote is for somewhere tropical. A nice resort. Just the thought of you alone on a beach does things to me.”
“Things like what?” Iris asked.
“Like…” Nat pinched the skin of Iris's under-thighs in both of her hands. She felt her sex ache so she made out with Iris's neck. “Make me crazy,” Nat panted.
“You're already crazy. That wasn't me,” Iris breathed.
Nat laughed and glowed. “You're the devil,” she said, squeezing her thighs again.
“I know. I'm shocked it's taken this long for you to realize that,” Iris replied.
“Does this mean you're gonna start changing,” Nat asked, temporarily consumed by her love. There wasn't enough time to knead Iris’s thighs or kiss Iris’s skin. Never enough time to worship her, properly. For Nat, the thought was just dizzying.
“Yes, I'll just get more evil,” Iris said.
The door to the pool area opened and someone stepped out. Nervous, Iris tried to look around Nat.
“Hey, what are you nerds doing?”
Nat turned and Iris saw a beautiful blonde girl standing at the side of the pool.
“Oh my god,” Olivia said. She got up, her wet feet making prints on the pavement as she ran excitedly to greet the pretty girl with the very blonde hair.
“Avery! Yes!” Nat turned to watch as Olivia pulled Avery in for a kiss and tried not to completely soak her clothes with her wet body.
“Now, that's better.” Despite the water, Avery hugged Olivia to her body. She lifted her up off the ground. “Hey baby,” she purred.
Olivia gasped and wept a little, unexpected joy colored her face. “What are you doing here? I thought you were gonna be gone for the rest of the week?”
“Well, the rest of the trip got cancelled. The facility had some heating and air conditioning issue. I wanted to surprise you,” Avery explained.
She had eyes only for Olivia. Iris and Nat watched them. Iris didn't want to break the spell. Their love and attraction was so obvious that it had pulled her in. It was the only thing she could ever imagine making Olivia leave Nat.
Olivia kissed Avery again, desperately. Seeing her favorite person, so unexpectedly, had brought her to tears and she didn't want to waste any time. “I'm so glad you're here,” she whispered, hugging her tight.
Nat smiled down at Iris, after having stared at her friends for a little too long. Seeing them together both excited and pained her. All of it good. “I was wondering when that was going to happen,” she whispered sweetly.
The amount of time Natalie spent thinking about Avery and Olivia when neither of them was around was astounding. If either of them had any idea they'd never ever leave her alone. But- like so many things- Nat couldn't possibly know that and neither could they.
“You knew, didn't you,” Iris whispered back.
“Mhmm,” Nat smiled. “Avery wanted to surprise her.”
“Olivia came to life the second she saw Avery. It made me all emotional,” Iris laughed.
“They honestly kill me,” Nat laughed.
“I can see why. I almost feel like I'm intruding,” Iris commented.
“You're not,” Nat soothed. “But I know what you mean.”
“I'm sorry. I can see how much you must have missed her after they got together.”
Avery and Olivia were too caught up in each other to hear them talk. Even still, Iris kept her voice low.
“Olivia changed me,” Nat said. “I can't explain it. Everything inside me changed when I fell in love with her. I'll never be the same.” Sharing this with Iris was complicated but necessary. Whoever Nat became serious with, they needed to know about Olivia.
“How did you change?” Iris asked.
“She got to me somehow,” Nat lamented. “A part of me no one could ever get to or see.” Nat never wanted anything in her life the way she wanted Olivia. “She gave me a reason to be.”
“Is she still that for you?” Iris asked, maintaining eye contact even though it was hard.
“A big reason,” Nat spoke honestly, not afraid to share. “Probably makes me sound like a lost cause,” she realized, scared now that she might just break down and cry. Nat sunk back down in the water, up to her lips. She tugged Iris in closer into her arms. “I didn't have much of a reason before,” she confessed, holding her tight against her body. The physical closeness was so suddenly necessary. Iris was a person Nat deeply cared for and she did fear losing her right now.
Iris bit the inside of her lip and didn't say anything. This was the thing that most worried her. She wasn't sure if she could ever mean as much as Olivia did to Nat. She might always come second.
Now, wasn't the time.
Nat noticed that Iris was unusually quiet. Her lips twitched and for a few extra seconds she kept herself from loosening her grip. “What is it?” Nat asked, pulling back a little so that she could see Iris's face.
“Just thinking,” Iris said. She shook her head and glanced up at Avery and Olivia again. "It's nothing."
Nat searched Iris again and knew that she herself was unusually damaged. What she had just confessed was actually a big deal. Nat wouldn't just tell someone that. She had to trust them.
She let Iris go and dunked her whole body underwater, slicking her hair back and moving to the other side of the pool to pull herself up and out. She finally got up to say hi to her friend.
Since Avery was already wet, Nat tugged Avery in against her body and wrapped her up in a strong intentionally sloppy hug. She tucked her chin onto Avery's shoulder and wished her life was much simpler.
Whether she intended to or not, Iris made Nat feel like she was damaged goods.
Iris followed Nat slowly and waited to be formally introduced. Olivia noticed Iris hanging close. She slipped her hand into hers and squeezed it with the both of hers. “You okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” Iris said. She smiled and looked at Avery. “So, we finally get to meet in person.”
"For sure! It's awesome," Avery replied.
Iris wasn't sure what to do until Avery was giving her a hug. Olivia let go of her hand and she put her arms around Avery and gave her a proper hug.
“It's nice to meet you,” Iris said.
“This is so bizarre. I've been a big fan of your music for a long time,” Avery said.
“Oh! Thank you,” Iris said. She blushed a little and ducked her head down. Nat hung onto Avery and pressed a hand to Avery's stomach.
“So, what's up? How have you guys been? Tell me all about the filming. Olivia is so bad at gossip. I never get to hear the good stuff,” Avery said.
“Ouch,” Olivia said, looking between them all and hugging herself.
“The filming has been interesting,” Nat said. “Not nearly enough dialogue with this one but still fun.”
Nat was still a little hurt from her previous conversation but she hid it well and tried to minimize any internal pain she was feeling. Olivia noticed the slight change and quietly worried.
“The big sex scene was hilarious. I was not looking forward to that,” Iris said.
“Wait, sex scene?” Avery asked.
“Oh, yeah, Nat and Michael. I just watched.”
“Crazy, I'd go nuts if I had to watch Olivia do that and no offence about the gossip, babe. You're perfect,” Avery said.
“Apparently not,” Olivia muttered.
Nat stared at Olivia with adoration leaking out of her pores. “It's not like we really had sex,” Nat told Avery. “It was all fake stuff.” Nat sniffed and squeezed her nose with her thumb and finger. Facing Iris right now was difficult.
“Are you hungry baby?” Olivia asked her wife.
“The answer to that question is always yes,” Avery said.
Iris covered her stomach with her arms. It was chilly now that they weren't in the water. Normally, she would just wrap up in Nat's arms. She was right back where she had been five days ago, unsure of what she should do. Nat was so intent on Olivia and it stung a little after what was said in the pool.
It wasn't just that. Ellie's voice brought back every negative feeling and trauma of their relationship but seeing her in person was even worse.
“Do we want to go out or cook?” Iris asked.
“I'm up for either,” Olivia said, looking between them all. “Why don't we all change. It'll be quicker if we go out.”
“Sounds good,” Nat nodded, turning from them and leading the way back inside. She slipped into her room and started to strip.
There wasn't much to take off and she stood naked before her closet, still damp and feeling her heavy heart as it ached in her chest.
“You ok?” Iris asked.
She’d followed Nat and was in the process of taking off her wet things.
“Not really,” Nat said, but she couldn't look at her or she'd cry. She reached forward, into the closet and pulled a bra and a white button-up off of a hanger to put them on.
“What is it? Seeing them?” Iris asked. She covered herself with a towel she got from the en suite and put the wet clothes in the sink so she could have a second to gather herself.
“What?” Nat asked, bothered. She looked back at her but Iris had already moved further away. “No,” Nat said. “I'm happy they're together.”
“Oh, then it's me?” Iris asked.
The towel wasn't enough so she went to her bag and pulled out some jeans, a hoodie, and underwear. She set the jeans and hoodie aside and started to put on the bra and panties.
Nat put her underwear on and tugged some tight jeans on before sitting down on the ground against the wall by the closet and hugging her legs.
When she didn't get an answer, Iris joined her, sitting on the floor in front of Nat.
“I guess I'm afraid you'll never look at me like you look at her,” Iris said.
She crossed her legs and picked at a callus on her right hand.
Nat rolled her eyes to the sky and felt the unwanted pain. “I'm pretty sure I've already been looking at you like that,” she spoke honestly.
“It's hard for me to imagine,” Iris admitted. “I want it. I just don't know why you would. You told me. It's not easy to accept, since I don't deserve it.”
It was her most closely held truth. Now, it was out, she crumbled and her shoulders sagged.
“Why wouldn't you deserve it,” Nat asked, watching her. Iris was breaking her heart with this self-deprecating nonsense. Worse yet, Nat couldn't tell where this was going and it frightened her but it wasn't new. The people Nat liked always ended up hurting her or running away.
“I don't know. I just know I've never wanted anyone more than I want you and I'm not good enough,” Iris said.
“Bullshit,” Nat said, stretching her legs out to the sides of Iris's knees and tugging on Iris to get her body to move closer to hers. “Don’t say shit like that.”