Something to Talk About

by Melanie Woods Schuster

  “How do you feel?”

  John didn’t answer for a moment, and then he smiled. “Immortal.”

  Nina walked over to him and held out her hand. “Well, come on, Zeus, I need my beauty sleep.”

  John was almost completely silent on the way back to Ann Arbor. His mind and his heart were too full; he was too emotional to trust himself to speak. He was glad Nina wasn’t the kind of woman to rattle on and on. She seemed to sense his mood and refrained from conversation; she simply let him be. She’d asked one terse question when they got into the car.

  “Are you okay?”

  When he answered he was fine, she let it go and treated him to another thrill ride on the expressway. So much had transpired he couldn’t begin to sort out his thoughts. He was so still in the passenger seat Nina thought he’d fallen asleep until he began to speak.

  “Thank you, Miss Parker. If you hadn’t gone with me, I might have missed one of the best days of my life. This was by far the damnedest day I’ve ever experienced, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” he said in a quiet, awed voice.

  They were back at the university now, and Nina was easing the car into a parking space in front of John’s temporary home. She turned off the ignition and waited for John to exit the car, but he continued to lean back against the headrest and talk.

  “A couple of weeks ago I knew exactly who and what I was. I was the only child of a beautiful, loving set of parents who were killed twelve years ago in a car crash. That was the worst day of my life. I loved my parents and I loved growing up with them. I wouldn’t have changed a single day of it, Miss Parker, and that’s the truth. I had one of those idyllic childhoods that nobody believes when you talk about it. But it’s true; we had a lot of fun together, the three of us. I never missed having brothers and sisters, because my parents were always there for me. I had lots of friends; our house was the place where everybody wanted to hang because my parents were so cool. There was always someone for me to play with, I was never lonely or left out. And I have a ton of cousins in the old country, which is what we call Puerto Rico.”

  He laughed; a soft, self-deprecating chuckle. “Two weeks ago I could call it that because I was Puerto Rican. Now I’m African-American, how about that? Only in America could that happen.”

  “Doesn’t that make you mad? Aren’t you angry about all this, John?” Still lost in his thoughts, John didn’t hear the warm concern in Nina’s voice.

  “How can I be, Miss Parker? The man gave me life and he gave me to two people who wanted me more than anything. I’ve had a good life, no, a great life. How can I be upset about that?” A comfortable silence grew and the scent of the night air, laden with honeysuckle, refreshed the interior of the car. The quiet was broken by John’s voice in the darkness.

  “That was the first thing he asked me, if I hated him for what he’d done.”

  John’s eyes closed as he recalled with photographic clarity the first meeting with his biological father. The first thing that struck John, other than the physical resemblance, was the fact that Big Benny Cochran was nervous.

  “Why don’t you have a seat, John, and let’s talk for a while?” the older man had said. John had graciously indicated that Big Benny should be seated and Benny took a large leather club chair with a nod to acknowledge John’s good manners. John then seated himself, not on the sofa, where he would have had some distance from the man, but in the matching club chair next to it with only a small magazine table to separate them. Benny was so self-possessed that only the most discerning eye would have noticed his anxiety, but John wasn’t a psychiatrist for nothing. He could see as well as sense how important this was to Benny and how much he had at stake.

  “I won’t be upset if you despise me,” Benny said humbly. His eyes searched John’s face almost hungrily, assimilating his features and learning him. “Do you hate me? It’s the most normal thing, I suppose.”

  “I don’t hate you. I don’t know you, so how could I possibly hate you, Mr. Cochran? ”John waited to see the effect of his words on Benny. What he said didn’t seem to affect him as much as the fact that John had referred to him as Mr. Cochran.

  Benny winced slightly before giving him a wry smile. “I suppose I deserve that mister;” he said. “I don’t have any right to expect anything else from you.”

  “I didn’t mean it as a censure; it was a sign of respect. And a lack of knowing what else to call you,” John said easily. “I don’t hate you, nor do I hate what you did. I’m alive because of you. I’ve had a good life; I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t enjoy being here. I don’t hate my parents, either. In a strange way this makes me love them more, not less. If they hadn’t wanted a child so badly they might have said no, thanks instead of giving me a wonderful home. I’m not sure they wouldn’t have eventually told me that I was adopted, had they lived. They might have told me about it who knows?”

  “Would you have tried to find your birth parents if you’d known?”

  John didn’t hesitate in his answer. “No. Because no matter who planted the seed, the fact is that Nestor Flores was my father and Consuela Flores was my mother. Period. There was nothing missing in my life, Mr. Cochran. No matter why she did it, your sister-in-law found me the best home I could’ve ever asked for,” he said with quiet sincerity.

  Ignoring Benny’s reaction to his second use of the formal tide, John pressed on. “I’d like to know something, sir. My biological mother, what was she like?”

  The question caught the older man off guard and he sighed deeply. A sudden sheen of moisture washed over his eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, as if to stem the flood.

  “Cassandra Hightower was a beautiful girl, inside and out,” he began. “I was seventeen years old, working in my father’s nightclub, the Hacienda. It was a Wednesday morning in late spring and I was cleaning the mirrors. My father said I was going to learn the business from the ground up and that meant doing maintenance and every other thing he told me to do. So there I was, washing mirrors like there was no tomorrow and I heard a soft sweet voice asking for Mr. Cochran. I looked up and I could see her reflection all around me. She was standing in just the right spot so she was in every mirror, every single one, it seemed like. She was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen in my life and I knew right then and there I was going to marry her.”

  He told John all about Cassandra and their courtship, all the way up to the web of lies that caused him to leave home. Even though John had heard a version of these events from Bennie and Andrew, he listened attentively, observing and cataloguing Benny’s emotions. Benny’s eyes were full of sorrow as he met John’s gaze.

  “I just realized how much Cassandra would have loved you, son. She’d be very proud of you. You’re a fine man and a fine doctor. I never thought I’d get to say that to you, but I want to tell you how grateful I am for what you did for Benita.”

  John’s face showed his surprise. For some reason he’d almost forgotten about that connection. He bowed his head in a quick nod.

  “No thanks are necessary. Benita is an exceptional woman, a very strong woman. It was her determination to get well that made her heal, not my treatment”

  The two men looked openly at each other, each taking the measure of the man in the other chair.

  “I have another question for you, actually two questions,” said John. “One, why did you decide after all this time to contact me? You could have continued to ignore my existence and no one would have been the wiser.”

  Benny leaned back in his chair and slowly moved his head from side to side. ‘That’s just what I couldn’t do, son. I’m an old man and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Some things you can’t do anything about and some you can try to put right. I couldn’t have gone to my grave without letting you know who I am, and letting the family know about you. You might not want to have anything to do with me from now on, or we might end up being friends. But at least you have the whole truth now. I might not be wo
rth your time, John, but you have five brothers and a sister who are worth the world. I’m hoping you’ll get to know them. It’s important to have family. I know all about that seeing how I abandoned mine,” he said bitterly.

  John watched the old man struggle with his memories for a moment and then he spoke. “But you connected with them again before it was too late. At this time in your life I think that’s more important than dwelling on the sins of the past.”

  Benny raised an eyebrow and shot John a look that reminded him of just who he was dealing with. ‘You wouldn’t be trying to get inside my head, would you? How’d you get to be so damned wise?” he said gruffly.

  “Four years of college, four years of medical school, two years of interning and a residency, lots of postgraduate studies and years of practice, it all comes quite naturally,” John said with a laugh.

  “You got me there, son,” Benny said as he joined him in laughter.

  Next to John in the passenger seat, Nina gave an indelicate snort He could see her look of disdain in the muted light shed by the street lamps.

  “What?” he probed.

  “You let him off the hook,” Nina said incredulously. “You had a chance to tell him off and let him know what you think of him for screwing up your life and you let him off like it was nothing.”

  John scratched his left forearm and waited for her to wind down. “I didn’t let him off the hook, because he wasn’t on one as far as I’m concerned. He’s an old man who’s made his share of mistakes in life and I happen to be one of his more colossal errors in judgment. But I didn’t suffer for it; it’s not like I was languishing in an orphanage or being beaten in a foster home. The man gave me life and I’m grateful. And I’m not alone anymore,” he said with finality.

  “I don’t have any relatives in the States. After my parents died it’s just been me and the people I count as friends. Now I’m a brother, a nephew, and an uncle, and in a strange way, I’m a son again. Maybe I should be mad as hell and cursing the Fates,” he said, scratching his right arm, “but I choose not to. Life is too short, Miss Parker, and I have better ways of spending mine than hating on an old man who never did anything to me except plant me.” John stopped scratching long enough to reach over and give Nina a caress on the cheek with his long brown hand. “Thanks again for coming with me. Drive carefully, well, drive slowly, I should say. You’ve got a heavy foot girl.” John had exited the car and was about to go inside when Nina’s voice stopped him.

  “What was your second question? The other question you had for him?”

  John turned around with a sad smile. “I asked him how my mother died.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Although the ride back to Harbortown was quiet, Adam was ready to break his silence when they arrived. He followed Alicia into the living area of the loft with its big twin sofas and collapsed on the first one he reached. Holding out a hand to Alicia, he pulled her down next to him. Alicia tucked her long legs under and sat close to Adam, holding his hand.

  “Allie, I wish I could explain this better. I don’t know how to put it into words,” he began. “I went to the living room to get something for Martha and the study door opened. They’d been in there talking, Pop and John Flores. I don’t know what I expected to happen the first time I saw him, so I’m not sure if this was weird or not.”

  “What happened, Adam?” Alicia could barely contain her curiosity.

  “Not a lot.”

  When Adam looked at his father and the man who was supposed to be his half brother, he couldn’t feel anything. He was both fascinated and repelled by the resemblance he shared with the man. They were equal in height, although Adam had the advantage of a half inch or so. Their coloring was identical, as were the thick moustaches and eyebrows. Adam even felt a slight pang of jealousy that John still possessed a striking mane of hair confined in a thick ponytail. Yeah, but mine was longer, he thought grimly. He couldn’t deny their kinship, as much as he wanted to. John looked as much like Adam as any of his brothers, and the concept of them sharing the same bloodline became a reality.

  Big Benny sensed nothing amiss, or he was pretending he didn’t In any case he introduced John to Adam. “Well, John, this is as good a place as any to start with the introductions. This is Adam, my next-to-youngest son. Adam, this is John.”

  Alicia’s eyes were huge and she was holding her breath. “What did you say, Adam? What did he say?”

  “I nodded and he nodded and we shook hands, and that was it. I might have said something scathing like ‘How’s it going, man?’ and he said, ‘It’s all good, bro,’ and that was the end of our first conversation.” He pretended to wince as Alicia gave him a poke in the chest.

  “You didn’t say that and neither did he,” she protested.

  “I know, but what we did say was just about as banal. When the going gets strange, the Cochrans get trite, what can I tell you? I thought I’d say something brilliantly bitter to let him know I wasn’t buying into all this instant family crap, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t do it, Allie. I just shook the guy’s hand and that was it.” Adam shrugged, clearly still at odds with the situation. “I thought bile would rise in my throat and I’d be choked with rage or something. Being civilized is actually a huge letdown,” he said with a mirthless laugh.

  Alicia rose on her knees and leaned closer to cup Adam’s face in her hands. “Mi corazon, I think you’ve thought enough about this for the time being.” She gave him a soft kiss and stood up, holding her hands out to him. “Come with me.” Adam stood up and gladly followed her into the bedroom.

  * * *

  John walked around the living room with his hands in his pockets. The events of the day were replaying in his head, an endless loop of images punctuated with a sound track of memories. He’d met so many people it was virtually impossible to keep them all straight, but he didn’t care. There was something comforting about the sheer numbers of them. They were his people, his new family. He’d met Alan and Andre, the identical twins, and their wives and children. He’d been deeply affected by seeing Angelique with her husband, Donnie; his first memory of her was as a spoiled, bratty princess. He smiled when he thought about the Angelique he’d met that evening. Who could have predicted how well she would turn out? She was now an accomplished photographer as well as being a devoted wife and mother. He tried sitting down but found it uncomfortable and moved into the bedroom. He decided to take a shower in the hopes that it would help him relax.

  He’d shed his clothes and was about to step into the bathtub when his phone rang. He picked it up curiously and smiled when he saw a familiar number on his caller ID. He took advantage of the big bed while he answered the call.

  “Checking up on me, are you?”

  Abe Gold’s voice was cheerful and unrepentant. “It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it and I thought, who better than me? How are you doing?”

  “Where do I begin, Abe? I lived through it, that’s the important thing. It was better than I could have hoped in a lot of ways. Theirs is an amazing family, Abe. Smart, good-looking people who all seem to be happy and normal, except for a couple of great-aunts who swear up and down they’re not twins.” He explained the Daphne and Dahlia story to Abe, who laughed uproariously.

  “That’s hilarious, John. What else did you find out?”

  John pretended he didn’t know what Abe meant and continued to talk about his newly met relatives. “There’s so many multiple births in that family it might be worth a study of some kind. Andrew is a twin and he has triplets, Benita is a twin with two sets of twins. The other set of twins, Alan and Andre, they didn’t have any multiple births, but they have some really nice kids,” he said as though there were nothing more important to be discussed.

  “They were all great, really welcoming, made me feel right at home. It could have been totally bizarre, but it was nice. Probably the best night I’ve had since before my parents died.”

  A poignant silence might have ensued,
but Abe wasn’t having it. “Cut to the chase. What did you find out? I hate to be blunt, but we only have so much time, John, I don’t have to remind you of that, you of all people.”

  John took a deep breath. “Okay, Abe, this is what I found out. My mother died of liver disease. Benny doesn’t remember the name of it, he’s not sure he ever knew it, but that’s what killed her. Probably the same one that’s killing me,” he said without bitterness.

  This time it was Abe who was silent. Finally he said, “John, as painful as that must have been to hear, it’s another big piece of the puzzle. Primary sclerosing cholangitis, although the cause is still unknown, has some genetic factors. It’s almost impossible for you to have it and not have gotten the trait from one parent or another, and now we know. The other thing we know is that there’s a way you can be cured. This doesn’t have to kill you, John, not if we act quickly.”

  “That’s just it, Abe. I can’t act. Not quickly, not slowly, hell, I can’t act at all. This is just something I’m not prepared to do.”

  “John, you have to, you have no other choice. You’ve run out of options and you’re running out of time.”

  * * *

  Alicia drew Adam into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed. She stood in front of him, with her hands on his shoulders, looking at him with a look of loving tenderness on her face. She kissed his forehead and knelt before him to remove his shoes, stroking his long feet as she did so. She stood up and went to the wall by the doorway, turning off the overhead lights and illuminating the base of the bed. The warm, mellow light made the room look soft and seductive. Alicia picked up the remote for the stereo and pressed a few buttons, releasing the seductive sound of Ravel’s “Bolero” into the room. She returned to Adam, who had already unbuttoned his shirt in anticipation of what was to come.