by Ann Grech
So now, she had to do one more thing for them. She had to leave—pick up the debris after the storm and hold her head up high. They were happy, that’s all that mattered. Her battered heart would survive. Maybe in a million years she’d be able to love again. It was their time now. She’d had Levi for long enough that the memories could carry her through. Wiping her cheeks with the heel of her hand, Katy started the car and looked at the house one more time. Tears welled up again as the memory of Levi carrying her over the threshold when they’d first moved in flashed before her eyes.
It was done, over.
“Katy, suck it up and get the fuck outta here,” she chastised herself. But where do I go? She needed time to think, time to heal. The airport was tempting as fuck, but she had too many responsibilities to just pack up and leave. People were relying on her to make the happiest day of their lives complete, no matter what havoc was being reeked in hers.
She didn’t have a destination in mind when she reversed out of the drive, but ten minutes later she was at the beach. Problem was, it was the same beach that she and Levi had taken Con to when he’d come home, and so many times since. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t force herself out of the car to head down onto the sand, so she pulled away.
Driving again, she found herself at her cousin’s house. Katy didn’t know why she’d gone there. Or maybe she did. Con had done the same thing when he’d needed space. Maybe it’d give her peace too. Not giving herself time to change her mind, she strode to the front door and pressed the bell. Chimes sounded in the background, and after a moment, the door swung open. The smile slipped from Emma’s face as she took in the hot mess Katy knew she was. Sweaty and dressed in ratty running gear, she’d headed to work to issue a few invoices and check that payments for two cakes she was working on had come in. Then she’d driven home and walked in on Levi and Con making love. Now her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen too.
Silently, Emma opened the door more and ushered her in, waiting until it had swung closed again before she took Katy into her arms. “You okay, honey?” The embrace was all wrong. Emma was too skinny, too soft, her smell too floral. Katy wanted her men. She needed them. She loved them more than life itself. How the hell was she going to walk away? Her body shook as she cried into the other woman’s arms. “God, the three of you have had such a rough trot.”
Katy curled into her and cried harder. “It’s over,” she whispered, her breath hitching on the last word as she choked out a sob. Saying that, putting a level of finality on it, shattered her. Sapped all her happiness, leaving her a mere shell.
“Oh, Katy.” Emma hugged her tight, and ran her other hand down Katy’s hair, like Con always did, making her cry harder. “You can’t work it out?”
Katy shook her head. “No.”
When Emma went to lead her deeper into the giant house, Katy wrapped her arms around herself. “Come on in, honey. I’ll make us some tea and we can talk if you like.”
She wiped the tears from her face and took a fortifying breath. “I don’t wanna impose.” Pointing to the beach outside, she added, “Can I just go out back for a while? I need some time. I’ve got no idea what I’m gonna do from here.”
“Of course. Take as much time as you need.” Emma placed a hand on her stomach and waved her hand around, adding, “And make yourself at home. I’ll be in the bathroom if you need anything.”
Katy looked her friend over for the first time. She looked drawn, tired. Ill. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just got a tummy bug. I’ll be okay when I kick it.” Emma motioned with her thumb over her shoulder and headed toward what Katy knew to be the downstairs bathroom.
Katy let her gaze roam around the house. Everything was white—walls, floors, kitchen, furniture—but there were splashes of bright colours everywhere too—the rugs, throw cushions, the paintings Nick’s best friend and their neighbour, Cam, had painted. Everything was beach themed, worshipping the waves that were framed by the double height floor-to-ceiling wall of glass serving as the back door. The stacked sliding doors were open, a warm breeze floating in. She could smell the salt in the air, hear the waves rolling in. Pandanus palms framed the view at the end of the garden. The ocean beckoned to her.
Katy slid open the screen door and crossed the small lawn, heading out of the white picket gate to the beach. Here the sound of the pumping surf as it crashed against the sand bar was much louder, it’s steady pattern soothing. Katy unlaced her running shoes and tossed them back over the fence when she’d taken them off. The surface of the sand was warm on her bare feet, but cool less than an inch down. She walked directly out to the water, not stopping until she was knee deep in the waves. Crystal clear and cold, the water swirled around her legs, the push and pull from even that depth quite strong. The foamy whitewash from the surf rolling in tickled her. But Katy stayed, letting the wind and waves do their magic. Out on the beach, Katy could switch off and just be. She was at home there. The sun, the surf, the awesome power of nature, of the universe, gave Katy a connection. It grounded her. The ocean healed her, albeit temporarily.
The tide was coming in, the water reaching midthigh before Katy waded out of the water and sat down on the soft sand, letting the sun dry her legs. This stretch of the beach was deserted except for the seagulls swooping on the breeze. A cerulean sky stretched above her, marred only by the gathering clouds on the horizon. A late season storm was brewing. It was a pretty apt representation of her life—everything seemed beautiful and clear, but in the distance was wild weather that could destroy everything. Her storm was a fast moving one. It had swept in well before she was ready, obliterating her world. Her tears had stopped, but the bone-deep ache of loss had enveloped her.
Katy loved both of them. Knowing they were happy would ease her pain eventually. She wasn’t selfish—even though having two men smacked of it. No, she’d realized that she was meant to love both of them. The fact that they’d found each other was great, wonderful in fact, but she was totally redundant now. Why would they need her when they had each other? Katy sat for hours, the sun shifting higher in the sky as she tried to figure out what to do. But everything came back to them. God, her brother was going to have a field day. He was the king of “I told you so,” and he’d take every opportunity to remind her of her own failings and how much he disliked Levi. But at least she had family to go to—Nick and Emma, her parents, even Levi’s. They were great. Con thought he had no one. It would have broken her heart if it were him that was alone.
NINE
Katy
“H
i,” Levi said gently, startling Katy out of her thoughts. When she looked up at them, he and Con were flanking her, facing the beach and watching the waves roll in.
“Hey,” she mumbled. Seeing them had her wanting to reach out, to draw them to her, to beg them to keep her.
“It’s beautiful here, so peaceful. Feels like there’s no one around for miles,” Con murmured as he sat cross-legged on the sand. Levi followed suit, sitting on Katy’s other side.
“It is.” Katy blinked away the tears, choking on the lump in her throat. Seeing them was eviscerating her. Like stories of the Japanese samurai committing harakiri, Katy’s insides were being gauged open, yawning holes appearing.
“Katy, we’re sorry,” Levi started. She turned to look at him. Eyes red and his hair standing on end, it looked like he’d been crying and running his fingers through the blond strands. His mouth, which so often curved up in a smile, was a frown, his lip red as if he’d been worrying it with his teeth. His devastation was easy to read. “We didn’t want to hurt you. This morning just happened.”
“I get it,” Katy replied. “I’m glad you found each other. And I know what you’re gonna say now. Like I said, I get it. It just hurts though, you know?”
“Whatcha talkin’ about?” Con asked, a mixture of confusion and defiance in his tone. “The only thing we were gonna say is that we’re sorry for letting you believe, even for a second, that you aren’t as important to us.�
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“What do you need me for now that you’ve found each other?” Katy whispered into the breeze. She was never the type to hold back, but voicing her deepest darkest fears was more difficult than she’d ever imagined, especially when it was playing out before her eyes. “You two have known each other for most of your lives. I bet if you think about it, you’ll both realize that you didn’t wake up this morning in love, or lust, or whatever. Those feelings have been around for a long time—I’ve seen them grow. Now that you’re finally together, you don’t need me as a buffer anymore.”
“Is that what you think, sugar?” Levi ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on the ends, frustration radiating from him. “Damn it,” he swore under his breath. “Why is it that the two people who mean everything to me, have no idea of it? Am I that bad in showing my feelings?” He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it tightly. Moving to his knees in front of her, he opened his mouth as if to say something else when Con interrupted.
“Cupcake, you’re not a buffer between us, you never have been.” Moving to mirror Levi’s position on his knees, he took her other hand in his and added, “I’ve loved you since I first met you. I ran because it hurt so much seeing you happy with Levi, knowing that I’d never get that chance with you. I didn’t realize it at the time, but you’re right. When I look back at how I was feeling, I know that it hurt so much because you’d found the one other person in this world that I love.” Looking at Levi, he joined their hands. “I’m sorry if this is too soon for you to hear or if you don’t feel the same, but I love you, Lee. As much as I love Katy.”
“Sugar, I don’t tell you this enough, but I love you. So much.” Levi brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, a soft, lingering press of his lips against her fingers. When he looked up and their eyes locked, the honesty, the love in his gaze stole her breath. “You’re my soul mate. I can’t live without you. What you said before—about feeling something more for Connor all this time—it was spot on. I think I’ve loved him for years.” Pausing, he looked at Con. Katy could see how strong the chemistry was between them, but this time she wasn’t the outsider. The warmth of their hands on hers, the strength of their grip gave Katy the reassurance she’d needed. They were kneeling so close that she could lean forward a few inches and kiss both of them. There was no hiding anymore. What she saw on their faces, and what Levi reflected back at her when he directed his gaze back to hers was raw, powerful. “But nothing will change what I feel for you.”
“You’re our cream filling,” Con chipped in, a grin lifting one side of his mouth.
“What?” Katy and Levi both asked at the same time. It was a totally random comment, and it was exactly the thing she needed Con to say to make her smile. “Think of us like an Oreo. Lee and I are the chocolate biscuits. You’re the cream filling. With it, we’re fuckin’ delectable.” Katy smirked and shook her head at Con’s reference to her cake shop, and Levi groaned. “But, without that cream centre, we’re just boring, dry biscuits.”
Levi leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, just a gentle brush of his lips. “You make me a better man, Katy. You’re… you.” Moving his mouth to her temple, he kissed her again. “How can I not love you? You’re generous and sweet—a firecracker, so sexy.” He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Con told me that you got us, that you could see how we were meant to fit together. I couldn’t have even kissed him without knowing I could rely on your strength when I freaked out. I mean, heck, I kissed a bloke.”
“You loved it.” Con nudged Levi’s arm with his elbow and smirked.
“I did.” Levi smiled at him, and Katy knew then, without a doubt, that they were in it together—all three of them on the same page. Levi loved Con, but he loved her too. And so did Con—he showed her in every one of the things he did for them, in the way he looked at them. Katy recognized the warmth in his eyes, the love. Her heart beat hard. It was real. It was crazy and insane and exciting, and it filled her heart to bursting.
Whatever Con saw in her expression had him growling in appreciation, a low hum that shocked through her. He and Levi both tugged on her hands, bringing her to her knees too. Con swooped in and trailed kisses along her cheek and down her throat while Levi brushed his lips gently against hers. They hovered there for a moment, soft presses of their lips until Levi licked along the seam of her mouth and she opened to him. Pouring all her heartbreak, all her love for him into her kiss, it went from sweet and innocent to down and dirty in a second.
Con moaned and jostled Levi. When he pulled away from Katy, Con was there, gazing at her with love so raw and so powerful it stole her breath. Their kiss screamed of desperate love, hungry and powerful.
“I love you, too,” Katy murmured between kisses. “Both of you. So much.” They stayed there, trading kisses and hugging on their knees in the soft sand. When she realized that Levi and Con hadn’t kissed, she pulled back, breathing hard. Snuggling into Levi’s side, she asked, “You think we can make this work?”
“Are you okay if Levi and I are together too? With you, or just the two of us?”
“I’d really like to watch,” she blurted out. This time, instead of the sheer devastation that had coursed through her, heat flooded her pussy. They were gorgeous together. And the thought of watching her two guys loving on each other too got her revved up like nothing else.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” Con moaned before kissing her again. Their lips had barely parted when Levi crowded her, his lips crashing down on hers.
“Kiss him,” Katy begged, pulling away from Levi. When Levi turned to Con, they stared at each other for a moment before leaning in close and brushing their lips together softly, then pulling away again. It was fast but the love between them sparked like a wildfire in Katy.
“Should we take this party home?” Levi breathed, each word punctuated by a bite or lick to the column of her throat.
They rushed towards the white picket fence and through the gate, stumbling to the screen door. Katy noticed Nick kneeling before Emma’s prone form and she shushed her guys’ laughter with a wave of her hand. Looking up as they walked in, he smiled and dabbed a wet cloth over Emma’s forehead before getting up and padding over to them.
Speaking in a hushed tone, he explained, “Emma’s resting. She said you were out back. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, mate. I think we’re good.” Con smiled at him, and Katy’s insides lit up. She slid her hand in his and hugged Levi tighter.
Looking between the three of them, Nick smiled. “Good. I’m happy for you guys. Em saw it the night that you flew in, Con. I’m just glad that you figured it out before you lost each other.”
“Nick,” Katy asked, “Is Em all right? She didn’t look well when I got here, and Con said she’d been sick when he was staying here. Has she seen a doctor?”
“She has, but there’s nothing they can do. It’s morning sickness, but she’s sick all the damn time, not just in the mornings. She’s exhausted too, but apparently that’s perfectly normal.”
After congratulating Nick, they headed out, Katy still holding hands with Con and hugging Levi. The trip home passed in a blur, Levi touching and teasing her and Con’s heated stares in the mirror turning her on until she was primed to come. They made Katy bolder than she’d ever been before and that confidence was freeing, their love empowering.
Falling through their own front door, they barely made it into their bedroom—the first room in the house. Clothes were tossed left and right as they stripped and caressed, kissing each other like they’d been starved of one another’s touch for years rather than hours.
Katy found herself being deposited in the middle of their bed, with Con and Levi positioning themselves on either side of her. Not a single inch of her went untouched by lips and tongues, rough fingertips and gentle breaths. They weren’t fucking, they never had been. No, she was being worshipped, obliterating every doubt Katy had ever had that she wasn’t needed.
Two broad shoulders made
her spread her legs wide as they traded kisses and tongued her clit. With deft fingers lodged deep inside her pussy, Connor sucked hard and she saw stars, her breath catching as she rode the edge of an orgasm. Fighting her way there, she let out a frustrated cry when she teetered on the edge. Connor doubled his efforts while Levi pulled back and licked his palm, then wrapped his big hand around Connor’s erection. Breath rushing out of her lungs on a moan, Levi slid a finger into her tight heat with Connor’s and stroked her. Katy’s body locked and her pussy contracted tightly around their thick fingers, her orgasm crashing through her and lifting her hips clear off the bed. Panting, she laid there, letting the endorphins carry her on a tide of ecstasy, watching while Levi pulled Connor into a scorching hot kiss.
Nuzzling their noses together, they couldn’t hide their bone-deep connection even if they tried. How they’d managed it for the months Connor had been home was beyond her.
“Con, lie down on your back. I wanna taste you.”
Levi
He’d blurted out the words on instinct. “I wanna taste you.” What the hell was he thinking? Talk about jumping into the fire. Connor’s guttural moan made it obvious what he thought of Levi sucking his dick, but actually doing it? The concept was a little overwhelming. He’d never touched another man’s cock until that morning, and while he wanted it—with an almost animalistic need—he was kind of clueless on how to do it. Levi knew what he himself liked. Would Connor enjoy the same? Where did he even start? Connor knew he wasn’t exactly experienced in the dick sucking department, but he didn’t want to screw it up either.
Thank God for Katy. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his girl was scrambling onto her hands and knees and reaching for Connor. Looking at Levi while she tongued the other man’s length, Levi knew she was teaching him, making it as good as she could. Hesitation gone, Levi kissed his way down Connor’s body, stopping at the words tattooed down Connor’s side. Live passionately, fight bravely, forgive readily, love completely, die honourably. He nuzzled him, breathing in his spicy scent. Straddling Connor’s leg, he tentatively reached out, swiping his thumb across the slit of Connor’s broad head and, before he could psych himself out, licking the clear liquid off. Salty and not that dissimilar to the taste of his own spunk when he’d kissed Katy after she’d blown him, Levi hummed. Connor’s reaction would have been enough, even if he hated the taste—pupils blown wide in his heavy-lidded stare, mouth open and chest heaving, Connor was a sight for sore eyes. A desert oasis.