It's Our Time (Carolina Rebels Book 4)

by Lindsay Paige

  “We’re going home, buttercup.”

  “I go with Daddy.”

  “You can ride with him next time.”

  “No! Now!”

  But I’ve already pulled out of my parking space, so I listen to her throw a tantrum over something I can’t change anyway. Ian shouldn’t have shown up at all.

  “Savannah Lynn, we’ve already left; I’m not turning around,” I eventually say. “Stop throwing your hissy fit. You’ll ride with your daddy tomorrow, I promise.”

  “You promise?” She hiccups.

  “Yeah, I promise.”

  “Okay.” Her voice still sounds sad, but at least she’s stopped crying and demanding I go back so she can ride with Ian. We’re almost home when she says, “Sorry, Mommy.”

  “I still love you, buttercup.”

  “Love you.”

  We get home a minute or two before Ian. Savannah leaves me the moment he arrives and runs to him, telling him about her lesson and dinner. I decide now is the perfect time to do laundry. I’m still pissed. Like, when these last-minute plans were made, he didn’t think about how he already had plans? With his family! How? Are we that insignificant that we can so easily slip his mind? He’s such a rat bastard. It’s one thing to do something like this to me, but to do it to Savannah, too?

  It’s like all of my insecurities over being with him flare up, reminding me that I wasn’t so sure this was a good idea to start with. I try to tamp them down and focus on being angry. It’s one instance. One mistake won’t necessarily lead to so many that this will turn out to be a bad idea and I’ll have to break up with him and move out. Those kinds of thoughts need to end because it’ll only make things worse and drive me crazy.

  There’s a stain on one of Savannah’s shirts, so I grab one of the spray bottles, squirt it with the magic liquid that will make the stain disappear, but because I’m in a mood, I also grab a toothbrush. There’s no harm in helping the stain go away, right? I vigorously scrub the stain. What did she get on her shirt anyway? I don’t remember her doing this, but it’s not like she’s with me all the time either. Maybe it was while she was with her idiot father who forgets he’s supposed to have dinner with us when he’s invited to go out with his teammates.

  “How long are you going to scrub her shirt like that, gorgeous?”

  I jump, dropping the toothbrush on the floor. Being bent over the dryer while working the already gone stain meant I didn’t see him coming. Couldn’t hear him either since the washer was filling up with water, but it just stopped, waiting for me to toss in this shirt and close the lid. But that means I’d have to face Ian. And talk to him. Giving him the silent treatment was so much easier when I thought he lived in another country and didn’t have to be around him in person.

  Snatching up the toothbrush, I set it aside for now and reluctantly put her shirt in the washer. Maybe I can not face him and watch the dial on the washer as it goes through the cycles.

  “How long are you going to give me your infamous silent treatment?”

  Like I’d answer that and give in.

  “Will you at least look at me?”

  And risk seeing how handsome he may look? Or letting him think he can touch me? The entire world knows I weaken with his touch. If I hadn’t pulled away earlier in the parking lot outside of the restaurant, we would probably be cuddling on the couch right now because I’d magically find a way to be over it.

  “Babe.”

  Ha. He thinks that tactic will work? Not this time. Not right now. For some reason, I think about the first time he said it. It was sort of off-handed, but I almost wonder if it was done on purpose. I was upset then, too. I was visiting him and we were at the ice rink. I was supposed to watch him play with his friends, but this group of girls decided to talk to him and fill my head with some things that Ian said, but also some things he didn’t say. Ian was getting irritated with me, wanting to know why I was upset, and when I didn’t tell him right away, he said, “Babe, spit it out.”

  First time he said it and it did crazy things to me for him to use a term of endearment that was usually reserved for couples. There was meaning in it for him to use it. I immediately blurted out what he was waiting to hear.

  Not this time.

  I turn and push past him to check on Savannah. She’s sitting on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, watching TV and coloring. Unfortunately, Ian sits next to me. His hand clamps down on my knee like he has some right to touch me right now. Pushing it away only makes him place it right back where it was. Eventually, I give up.

  “Daddy, I ride with you tomorrow. Mommy promised.”

  “Okay. What do you want for breakfast? I’ll cook.”

  Damn it. I have a new weakness. I should’ve considered this sooner. Obviously, seeing him with our daughter is going to do a number on me. My resolve slowly melts away while they talk and when he gets up to tuck her into bed and read to her. I get up to fold the clothes and then get ready for bed in peace. It’s early, but more sleep never hurt anyone.

  “This is a bit much, don’t you think?” Ian asks as I walk out of the bathroom. He’s sitting on the bed, already in his PJs. “You ignoring me this long for a little mistake?”

  “Are you trying to throw fuel on the fire?” He thinks forgetting us is a little mistake?

  He grabs my wrist and pulls me to stand between his knees. His arms lock around my waist. “I’m trying to say whatever I need to for you to talk to me. I’m fucking sorry, Sydney. I can promise that I feel worse about this than you are pissed. It didn’t even click why you hung up on me until I decided to try to text you since you weren’t answering my calls and I saw our last few messages about meeting for dinner. I wasn’t thinking when I agreed to go with EJ and the guys. Come on, babe. Just forgive me already. It won’t happen again.”

  Ian stares at me, looking hopeful. Apparently, I’m quiet for too long.

  “Doesn’t it count for something that I came running the moment I realized what happened?”

  “Not if I factor in how Savannah cried for the better part of the trip home because she decided too late that she wanted to ride home with you instead of me.”

  “Fuck,” he mutters, gently banging his head against my chest. He lifts his gaze to look at me. “Babe, please.”

  Damn it. He always gets me when he says please because it’s so rare. “Fine,” I mutter. “But if it becomes a habit, there will be hell to pay.”

  Ian sighs. “When will it get through that thick skull of yours that while mistakes may be made, you’re still the most important person in my life and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. There’s only been one thing I’ve done where I knew it would hurt you and I’ll be damned if I’ll do it again. I love you, gorgeous. I don’t want to piss you off or do anything but make you happy. But neither of us are perfect. When is it truly going to click for you that despite that, I’m still going to be here and still going to love you all the same?”

  “What?” Why is he saying this? Where is this coming from?

  “It just feels like you’re waiting for me to fuck up or that you always expect the worst of me.”

  “No,” I interrupt. “It’s not like that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Sighing, I link my arms around his neck and rest my forehead against his. “It freaks me out now because when something goes wrong, there’s more on the line. All I end up wondering is what if things don’t work out between us? That doesn’t exactly help aid me in not being pissed at you anymore, but that’s what’s happening.”

  “Do you honestly think I’ll let you slip away from me again? I pushed you away once; the only thing I’m going to do this time is fight to keep you. Unless you have some plan of not doing the same, then you can stop worrying.”

  God, I hate it when he has a point.

  “I love you.”

  “Love you too, babe. Let’s go to bed.”

  I crawl into bed while he finishes his nighttime routine. My ey
es are closed, my body is relaxed, but I smile when Ian gets into bed and starts getting handsy.

  “Makeup sex?” he asks as his hands slip under my shirt and start roaming upward.

  “Is that all the game you have, Ian? Asking for makeup sex while you grope me?”

  “Doesn’t matter if it works and with you, everything I do works.”

  “Don’t be so cocky.” Although, it seems he has the right to be. His thumbs swipe over my nipples. That’s all it takes to turn me on. Ian knows it, too. He grins and kisses me.

  Ian is gone on his road trip and this is the perfect time to give Savannah’s room a makeover. Logan comes over to do what he can to help, which mostly involves keeping Savannah occupied. Ian helped me move the furniture to the middle of the room before he left.

  “I thought Carey was coming,” I say when Logan appears in the doorway.

  “Off with her secret boyfriend.”

  “You still don’t know who it is?”

  “Nope. She hasn’t said a word, and she’s barely at the apartment anymore.”

  That’s odd. Something must be up. “Where’s Savannah?”

  “She conked out during The Little Mermaid. Are you sure you don’t want me to try to help?”

  “Yes. I want to do this, and how helpful are you going to be when you need crutches?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “I can get around without them. It’s called the hop on one foot method.”

  “How about you stay out of my way?” I don’t trust him hopping around paint. The last thing I need is for him to lose his balance and make a mess.

  “Fine. How have things been here?”

  “Okay.” There’s a knock on the door before I can say more, and Logan says he’ll get it. A minute later, he returns with Meredith and Lizzy. I place the brush in the pan and stand. “What are y’all doing here?”

  “We heard you were working on a house project, and we came to help,” Meredith says.

  “Oh. Y’all don’t have to do that.”

  “We wouldn’t have come if we didn’t want to,” Lizzy says.

  “Well, come on. Oh! Meredith, Lizzy, that’s my stepbrother, Logan. Logan, Meredith and Lizzy. They are girlfriends of Ian’s teammates.”

  They say hello to one another and then the girls start helping me. It’s a good thing I bought extra rollers.

  “So, why did y’all decide to come help?”

  “We’re nice people, Sydney,” Lizzy says with a smirk.

  “Besides, Noah didn’t want me sitting at home by myself. I watched EJ’s baby until his mom could get here and I’m going to help her out some this week, just to give her a break. Needless to say, I have baby fever. Noah would rather I do something more productive than dream of babies.”

  “He doesn’t want kids?” I ask.

  “He does, but he has a plan.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s a good thing, really. He wants more time of it being just us, but I don’t know. I’ve waited so long to be with him; why postpone the inevitable?” Her voice lowers. “At least, I hope it’s inevitable.”

  “Don’t overthink it, Meredith,” Lizzy tells her. “What’ll happen will happen.”

  “Are you still having your nightmares?” Meredith asks. “Have you told Marco yet?”

  “Yes and no. I’m thinking it’s just because I’m super stressed.”

  “Over what? When are you going to tell him?”

  Should I be listening to this? I flick a glance at Logan and he gives me a small wave as he leaves, probably to go sit with Savannah until she wakes up.

  “I don’t know. They didn’t start until he left for this stupid trip.”

  Meredith looks over at me. “She’s having nightmares about her late husband and Marc’s father.” Okay. That’s a weird combo.

  “My late husband died in a crazy hockey accident and Marc’s dad is a crazy man, who has apparently done some really bad things, which we found out about when he kidnapped me a month ago.” My eyes nearly bug out of my head. “Kidnapping feels like an exaggeration, but it’s what he’s charged with.” Lizzy waves her hand. “Anyway, for some reason, I’ve been having nightmares since Marc left.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry. Is this the first big trip he’s been on since it happened?”

  “Yeah, I guess. There was a trip right after, but this one is longer. Let’s not talk about it anymore. Are things good with you and Ian?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You don’t like to share details, do you?” Meredith asks.

  I laugh. “Not really.”

  “I’m right there with you, Sydney. The only reason I do is because they annoy the hell out of me until I spill. Plus, Meredith and Sylvia are my closest friends, so might as well tell them.”

  We talk more about our men, our families, and our lives while we paint. It seems to take no time before we’re done. By that time, Savannah is awake.

  “Oh! Mommy! I love it!”

  “Don’t touch!” I warn right as she reaches out to touch the newly purple walls. “It’s still wet, buttercup. Are you hungry?” She nods. “Are y’all?” I ask the girls.

  “Starving,” Meredith says.

  “If you’re up for leaving the house, I know where we can go. It’s my favorite restaurant.”

  Somehow, they managed to get no paint on their clothes, but it’s all over mine. “Let me change first. Savannah, go tell Lo-Lo that we’re going out to eat.”

  She runs out of the room, shouting, “Lo-Lo!” I am quick to change and scrub off one streak of paint that managed to get on my forehead before we’re all hopping into my car with Lizzy telling me how to get to a restaurant called Bagels and Butts. The name causes Savannah to giggle every time she says it, which is often because Savannah keeps making her repeat herself.

  It’s funny because after we order, our phones ring about a minute apart with calls from our men.

  “Hey, babe. How’s painting?”

  “Done unless it needs another coat. We’re at Lizzy’s favorite restaurant for dinner right now.”

  “Lizzy? We’re?”

  “Yeah, Lizzy and Meredith came to help me paint, so they, plus Logan and Savannah, are out with me.”

  “Oh. That’s nice of them. Let me talk to Savannah real quick.”

  “Okay.” I tap Savannah’s shoulder to get her attention. “Daddy wants to talk to you.”

  Her eyes light up as her grabby little hands snatch the phone from me. “Daddy!” she yells.

  “Inside voice,” I remind her. I love that he insists on talking to her, even though she’s the worst on the phone. Her attention span is terrible and sometimes it takes her forever to say something. He has way more patience with her than he’s ever had with me. When the waitress appears at our table with our food, Savannah hangs up with Ian. Guess I’ll talk to him later.

  “So, are you seeing anyone?” Meredith asks Logan.

  “Ah, just here and there.” Logan is still enjoying having fuck buddies and no-strings-attached sex. He does date if he finds someone he really likes, but that hasn’t happened in a while.

  “What happened to your leg?” Lizzy asks.

  “I was in a car accident. It’s been a big pain, but Savannah likes to draw on my cast, so I guess something good came from it.” His cast is very colorful, that’s for sure. He lets her go at it with markers whenever she asks.

  That’s all the adult conversation we have because Savannah steals the show with her jibber-jabber. It’s nice to sit here with two new friends, Logan, and my daughter. I only wish Ian was here.

  The end of our road trip is near. We’re in my home state with our last game of the trip tomorrow. Tomorrow is Savannah’s birthday, and I’ll be calling her to sing Happy Birthday to her, but today, I have to deal with my dad. Thanks to Sydney, I’ve been talking to him. Because of that, I got talked into meeting him today. If he wants to drive here, then fine. I don’t know if I’m prepared for this. Talking to him over the phone has been awkward. I’m sure seeing him in person is
going to be so much better.

  Me: Miss you, gorgeous. Too late to bail on my dad?

  Sydney: Yes. He’s not there yet? It’ll be fine, by the way. & I miss you too.

  Me: Not yet. Savannah’s room all done?

  Sydney: Almost! I’ll send pictures soon.

  Me: He just got here. I’ll call you after.

  I slip my phone into my back pocket as the hostess leads him to my table and he takes a seat. I could stand and hug him, but I don’t. I’m not feeling that friendly yet.

  “You’re late,” I say once we’re alone.

  “There was some traffic. How are you doing, son?”

  “Fine.”

  “I got two frantic calls from your mother. First time she’s called me in over a decade.” He raises an eyebrow.

  “What do you want?” He’s the one who wanted to meet. There’s no way he wanted to talk about my mother.

  He leans forward on the table. “I’m sorry. I should have told you, but I didn’t. You were so torn up over Sydney, so much so that I didn’t know if you’d do something crazy enough like give up your one and only dream to chase after her. It was wrong, and I’m sorry. I would like for us to move past this. I would like to know my granddaughter.” He takes a deep breath. “And to apologize to Sydney for what I did.”

  The waitress comes to take our drink orders. I use her stopping by as an excuse to take time to look over the menu and avoid talking to him, of course. Man, I wish I could talk to Sydney. She’d tell me to forgive him already, so we can work on getting back on track. Once we order, Dad wastes no time in getting the conversation going again.

  “Well?”

  “Her name is Savannah and her birthday is tomorrow. She’ll be three. Her party is Sunday. If you want to fly down for it and meet her, you can. I won’t keep her from you, but I’m not going to go out of my way to make sure she knows you. You’re going to have to do the work.”

  “No problem.”

  “And I don’t want nor do I need your opinions on my life or you’ll be in the same spot as Mom.”

  Dad nods. “So, what is your life like now that Sydney and Savannah are in it?”

  That begins our our long conversation as I fill him in on what he’s missed. All I keep thinking is it can’t be this easy, right? I’m wary to believe so. He seems interested and happy with how things are in my life, which is surprising to me. He didn’t like Sydney because I spent too much time with her, even with her in another state. What’s changed there? He tells me I have a beautiful daughter when I show him pictures of her on my phone. Mom is mentioned, but only briefly as he recounts their conversations.