“We can’t have sex in here.” I lift her and start walking toward our bedroom.
“Why not?”
“On the same counter where Savannah sat when we made pancakes? No. I’m not there yet, gorgeous. Not to mention, she could wake up and find us. Hell no. For now, we stick to the bedroom that has a door with a lock on it.”
Sydney giggles. “What if I don’t want to be in the bedroom?”
“Then, next time, you better find a sitter.” I close our door and lock it. I toss her onto the bed and we start undressing. Sydney’s eyes are intently on me as she watches me shed my clothing. When my coat falls to the floor, it makes a noise, and that’s when I remember my actual present.
“What are you doing?” she asks when I lean over to pick it back up.
“I have a present for you, remember?”
“It’s not sex?” The amount of confusion and disappointment in her voice is hilarious.
“There will be sex, don’t worry.” I toss her my jacket. “Look in the pockets, babe.”
She frowns as it covers her naked body, but she dips her hands into my pockets. In one is just my phone, which she leans over to put on the nightstand. In the other is a ring box. Her eyes are as wide as saucers. “When did you find it?”
“We had a little time to ourselves while we were gone, so Z and I went looking.”
“But we weren’t talking.”
“Didn’t change anything,” I remind her. She’s rubbing the box, not yet opening it, so I climb onto the bed, staying on my knees. That’s sort of doing it right at least once, isn’t it? Taking the box from her, I ask, “Will you marry me, Sydney Mackenzie Jarvis?” I pop the ring box open.
“Oh, Ian. It’s gorgeous!” My chest fills with pride as her eyes bounce back and forth between the ring and me. It seems to dawn on her that I’m waiting for her to answer. “Of course I will, Ian. Yes times a million. The answer is always yes.”
I launch forward to kiss her, dropping the box to grab the coat and throw it off her body.
Sydney laughs and pushes me away. “Wait a second. Give me that ring first.”
It takes a second to find it, but once I do, I pull it from the box, toss the box onto the floor, and slip the ring onto her finger. She stares at it for far too long when we came in here for one very specific reason.
“I love you,” she whispers.
Hearing her say it, I realize that it’s been too long since just those three words have been said. Shit, I didn’t even tell her I loved her before I left. That can’t happen again, argument or no argument. “I love you, too, babe.”
She grabs a handful of my beard and damn it, that shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does. She tugs me down until her lips are a breath away from me. “Love me like we have the rest of our lives.”
I press my lips to hers, kissing her slowly and deeply, making her moan within seconds.
“Hey, what are you doing today?” I ask as I cook pancakes the next morning. “Anything? It’s my day off, so little Miss over there and I have plans if you want to join us.”
Sydney glances over at Savannah. “What are you and Daddy up to?”
She shrugs. “It’s secret,” she whispers, a grin popping onto her face.
“Hey, no secrets from Mommy.”
“It’s a secret because she doesn’t know where we’re going either,” I say. “Are you coming or do you have something to do with school today?” It’s Friday. Sometimes, she does and others, she doesn’t.
“I’m free. I was going to try to talk to Carey today, but this sounds like more fun. Whatever it is.”
I grin and lean over to kiss her. Savannah doesn’t even say ew anymore. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? That she’s so used to us showing affection that it no longer fazes her. She needs to see me loving on Sydney and treating her right, so when she gets older, she knows to accept nothing less. The thought of Savannah dating makes me frown.
“What is it?” Sydney asks as she catches sight of it.
“Just thinking about how she’ll be dating eventually. We had it easy because of the distance and being sneaky. I don’t think I could let Savannah hang out at a guy’s house like your dad let you when you came to see me at Christmas. And I definitely would’ve waited up to make sure she came home from prom instead of slinking over to spend the night with some sleazeball in a hotel room.” There are other choice words I’d rather use, but since Savannah’s little ears are listening, I substituted them with something other than a cuss word. Sleazeball has to be better than fucker if she happens to repeat that.
Sydney laughs. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves or weirdly call yourself a sleazeball. You were a great guy even back then.”
I scoff because if I take myself out of it and put in some random guy and think of Savannah as Sydney, then no. The guy was a jerk who got his girl to trust him so he could have sex with her whenever he saw her. Thinking of it like this sheds things in an entirely new light.
“Stop it, Ian,” Sydney whispers. “I mean it. We’re not worrying about whatever guy she’ll bring home and you aren’t allowed to reexamine the past. Give me a kiss and get over it.” She leans up and kisses me instead.
Begrudgingly, I focus on finishing our breakfast and what lies ahead. With having the day off, I knew I was going to spend it with Savannah one way or another. I was up earlier than I wanted to be considering I didn’t get too much sleep last night between getting home late, talking to Sydney, and then the fucking. But I needed to figure out what we were doing and wake up in time to make sure Sydney didn’t take her to daycare.
The first thing I thought about was a museum. But then, I figured she was probably too young to really be interested in whatever she might see. That’s when I remembered seeing a billboard about an aquarium. It’s like the bells were ringing in my head. So, that’s what we’re doing today. There’s not one in Raleigh, so we’re taking a mini road trip.
Once we’re on the interstate and I set my phone by the gearshift, Sydney realizes I’m using the GPS and glances over at me. “Ah, Ian, where are we going?”
“To Concord to the aquarium.” I flick my eyes to the rearview mirror. “We’re going to see a bunch of pretty fish like in The Little Mermaid,” I say to Savannah.
She is immediately excited, but Sydney talks over her. “That’s a little over two hours away.”
“Yeah, babe. I know.”
“What if I hadn’t have come?”
“Then I would’ve told you where we were going and would’ve had to find a way to entertain her for two hours. What are you getting upset over?”
She immediately takes a deep breath. “Right. I’m not upset. I just didn’t expect to be going all the way to Charlotte today.”
“I wanna see the fishies!” Savannah shouts to be heard over Sydney.
“Me too, but they are far away, so we have to be patient while I drive us there,” I tell her.
Savannah starts singing her version of “Under the Sea” and that’s all we hear for two hours. Sydney seems to relax and whatever she was about to get upset about has all but disappeared. Good. Today should be a good day with Savannah, and that means things need to be good with Sydney and me.
“Have you heard from your mom or dad lately?” Sydney asks as I find a place to park.
“Texted them both this morning about us getting married. Haven’t looked at Mom’s messages. Dad’s happy for us.”
“You told them in a text?”
I briefly glance over at her with an are you serious? look. “I’m not calling my mom and didn’t feel like talking to my dad.”
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, Savannah?”
“Are fishies here?”
“Yep.”
We get out of the car and I carry her, knowing I plan to once we get inside because she’ll need help seeing. While I buy the admission tickets, Sydney takes Savannah to the restroom since she suddenly needs to go. I’m standing off to the side, waiting, when Savan
nah runs over, a slightly pale-looking Sydney trailing behind her.
“Mommy’s sick!” Savannah exclaims as she jumps into my arms.
“What?”
“She throwed up.”
Sydney comes to stand with us with a small smile.
“You were sick?” I ask, concerned. “Do we need to go home?”
“No, I’m fine. Just didn’t feel well for a moment. Let’s see the fish.”
I eye her. She still looks like she doesn’t feel well, her hand resting on her stomach like it’s unsettled. “Are you sure?”
“We drove all this way. We’re not going home until we’ve seen what we want to see.”
“Okay, but if you need a break or anything, tell me.”
She smiles, but it’s a weak one. “I will.”
Savannah oohs the moment we walk into the main area and she catches sight of the first of many fish. Sydney stays close, leaning her head against my arm whenever we stop to look in a tank like she’s tired. It worries me. I catch sight of a place where we can touch some sting rays.
“Savannah, want to touch a fishie?” I ask.
“Yes!” Her fearlessness makes me grin. It’s then that I realize I was expecting her to be scared and to not want to do it. We walk over to the interactive zone and I hold on tight to her as we lean over. “You first!” she says at the last minute. A gray one is coming by, so I stick my hand in the water, one finger out, and it grazes the top as it goes by. Savannah giggles. “Was it gross?”
“No. Your turn.” We only have to wait a moment before another one comes by. I lean over and Savannah bravely sticks her hand in the water just like I did.
“Ew!” She laughs. “Mommy!” She turns and frowns. I look and realize Sydney isn’t with us. Where’d she go?
“She’ll be back,” I say. “Look. There’s a starfish. Want to touch it?”
“Yes.”
We touch various “fishies” in this particular tank and are rubbing hand sanitizer on our hands when Sydney returns.
“Where did you go?” I ask.
“Bathroom. Sorry.”
My brows pull together with my frown. She got sick again. “Babe.”
Sydney quickly waves me off. “I’m going to sit on a bench by the gift shop for a few minutes, okay? Y’all go ahead. I’ll find you. I just need a second to recover.”
“Are you sure? We can wait with you. We have all day.”
“I’m sure.” She kisses each of our cheeks and then walks off.
“Let’s go, Daddy.”
Reluctantly, we keep walking around, looking at the various exhibits. My mind alternates being worrying about Sydney and enjoying all of Savannah’s reactions from seeing the various fish, especially any that remind her of those she’s seen in The Little Mermaid. She loves touching them, too. She giggles and pretends it grosses her out, but she reaches in and tries to touch it again.
I hate that I wasn’t in her life from the very beginning, but Sydney has done a good job so far. All I can do is hope I learn quick and don’t make any mistakes where my little girl is concerned. Or, at least, none that will affect her for life.
Savannah is obsessed with the seahorses. We’ve been standing in front of this one tank for at least fifteen minutes. Her face is as close to the glass as she can be without touching it.
“Look! He’s upside down!” Her voice is full of awe as the seahorse, which has his tail wrapped around a plant, leans down toward the sand, making him nearly upside down. His nose touches the sand for a moment before he comes back up. Savannah glances back at me with wonder.
“I love you bunches, you know that?” I blurt out.
She grins. “I love you bunches. Can I have one?” She points to the seahorse and I laugh.
“No, little Miss. They aren’t pets. We can get you a stuffed animal of one if they have one in the gift shop. Are you ready to look at other fishies?”
It takes her five minutes to answer me. We make it through the entire aquarium before coming around to the gift shop. Sydney is sitting on the bench, her head leaning back against the wall, and her eyes are closed. I place Savannah on her own two feet and she runs over to tell her about the seahorses. Sydney can’t seem to show her any true excitement back. Fuck, she must really feel bad.
“C’mon, Savannah. Let’s see what we can find you in the gift shop.”
“I’ll come with you,” Sydney says as she stands.
“No, babe. You take these and go on out to the car. We won’t be long.” I hand her my keys. It’s unnerving that she doesn’t argue with me. We easily find Savannah a stuffed animal seahorse, but it takes her five minutes to pick the “perfect” one. First, she has to pick one of three variations and then the right color of the one she liked best. I remind her that Mommy is sick and we can’t take long. That helps her pick a green one.
She tells me she’s hungry while we’re paying for it. I was planning for us to stop somewhere to eat, but I’m not so sure about letting Savannah eat while I’m driving either. I’ll have to let Sydney make that call.
Savannah shows off her seahorse while I buckle her in her car seat.
“Babe, she’s hungry. What do you want to do?”
She groans. “As long as I don’t have to eat, I don’t care.”
When I get into my seat, I ask, “So, drive-thru? We can get you home sooner.”
“That’s fine. I’ll move to the back to sit with her and help her.” She gets out and sits in the backseat. “Let’s go, please.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Just really nauseous and feeling like I’m going to puke without puking, except those two times. I’m exhausted, too.”
“I’ll try to get us home fast.”
We stop at a nearby fast food place and Sydney rolls down the window as soon as the aroma of the food fills the car, a struggling frown on her face. We end up having to switch places because she swears if she has to help Savannah eat without her making a mess in the car, she’s going to make her own mess by throwing up from smelling and seeing the food. Once Savannah is done eating, I make her pull over and move to the passenger seat, so I can drive and she can sleep.
It seems to take forever to get home even with the light traffic on the interstate. Once we do, Sydney goes straight to bed to lie down and Savannah wants to watch The Little Mermaid, so we sit on the couch and do that. We have back-to-back home games this weekend and I’m tempted to call Logan about keeping Savannah since Sydney isn’t feeling well. I don’t want to be the one to make that call, though. I’m sure she’s been sick before and didn’t call anyone to watch our daughter. It just seems like that could be a situation where she’d think I was sweet for doing so or think I was an ass for thinking she couldn’t do it while being sick.
I don’t know. I’ll wait and see how she’s doing tomorrow, I guess.
Twenty minutes into the movie, Sydney comes straggling into the living room, already in her PJs, and cuddles up to me on her side with her knees drawn up and angled toward me.
“Hold me,” she whispers.
“Sure thing, gorgeous.”
“Me too, Daddy.” Savannah crawls into my lap, turning to lie with her head against Sydney’s thigh. Sydney chuckles and starts running her fingers through her hair.
“This is what I’ve always wanted,” Sydney says, lifting her head to look up at me. “Us together like this.”
“It is pretty nice.” Better than I could’ve imagined my life with Sydney being. I knew it would be damn good because of the simple fact that she’d be in it, but it’s even better. Add in Savannah and things are fantastic. They don’t have to be perfect, which is good because they aren’t and likely won’t ever be. I’ve never wanted perfection, though. All I’ve wanted is Sydney, just as she is—her “crazy” side, her tendency to use the silent treatment when she’s pissed, how she’ll call me a jackass or a dick when she doesn’t like what I’ve told her, fucking everything she does, really.
“Hey, what is your fiv
e-year plan?” I ask. “What if I get traded one day?”
Sydney snuggles closer. “Plan doesn’t matter. Let’s get married. As long as we’re together, then I’ll be happy. Where you go, we’ll go.”
“Promise?”
She sits up. “There’s an option not to? Why would I want to do that?”
“Stability for her.” I nod down at Savannah.
Sydney shakes her head. “Where you go, we’ll go,” she repeats. “I’m calling my parents tomorrow, by the way.”
“Ssh! Hush!” Savannah huffs, obviously annoyed that we’re talking.
I grin. “Sorry, little Miss.”
We stop talking and I relax. This is the life right here. A bossy three-year-old, my woman who’s finally mine after what feels like a lifetime of chasing, and all of us together and happy. If only we can get Sydney to feel better.
Because I’m still not feeling well, I decide to do a three-way call with my parents to tell them the latest news. Both of them are immediately wary, as I’ve never put them on the same call before.
“What’s going on, Sydney?” Chris asks. Heaven forbid, Mom leave him out of this. It only bugs me because I never said I wanted him on the line, but there he is.
“Ian proposed. We’re getting married this summer.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Mom asks as Dad says, “Congratulations.”
“Congratulations?” Mom sounds appalled. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew how he talked to her.”
Damn it. Not this again. “Mom, that’s just how we do things when we argue. Let it go. I’m not in any mood to convince you to see the light; I don’t feel well and I don’t have the energy. We’re having a super small ceremony, no big hoopla, and if you want to be invited, then you’ll find a way to get over it.” Mom gasps. I didn’t mean to threaten her with not inviting her to the wedding, but I was suddenly pissed and it came out. “Mom, he’s good for us. It’s happening. He doesn’t treat me badly even though he doesn’t speak to me nicely all the time. I don’t say nice things to him all the time either. Get over it. Savannah and I will be Rhetts by the end of summer.”
It's Our Time (Carolina Rebels Book 4) Page 21