Until It's Time To Go

by Connie Bailey

“Well, good for you.”

  Kovac cleared his throat. “Hey, listen, there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time. Every time I thought about looking you up, I pushed it away because, you know, why dredge up something like that when you’d probably moved on with your life.”

  “If there’s something you want to say, just say it.”

  “I’m real sorry about how I treated you when your partner died. It was a different time, true, but it was a shitty way to be, and I want you to know that I regret it.”

  Isaac blinked in astonishment. He’d had no idea what the ex-cop was going to say, but he’d never expected an apology. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You could say you accept my apology.”

  “I will if you’ll tell me what made you say it.”

  Kovac cleared his throat again and rubbed the back of his neck. “My oldest boy turned out gay. If he was killed and some cop treated me like I treated you, I’d punch him out.”

  “Your partner was a lot worse.”

  “Foster isn’t with the department anymore. He transferred to Vice, and then took a job with the DEA. Got blown away by a Colombian cocaine cowboy.”

  “I’m not real sorry to hear that.”

  “Thought you might appreciate knowing that little detail.”

  “Anything else you want to say?”

  “Nope. You and your godson are free to go when you’re ready.”

  “Thanks.”

  Kovac came from behind his desk to open the door. “You go down this hall and turn left. At the second door, tell the nice lady who you’re there for. Good luck.”

  “Thanks,” Isaac said again.

  “Call us if you need to. We offer counseling.”

  Isaac walked away feeling curiously light, despite the gravity of the situation. Kovac’s apology had removed a portion of the weight he’d been carrying for so long. Feeling oddly capable, he called Callie and asked her to have someone pick up Kylie’s car and drive it to his house. When she said she’d take care of it as if the request was nothing out of the ordinary, he hung up with a sense of satisfaction out of all proportion to the accomplishment.

  “I’m here for Laitham Carr-Engram,” he said when he found the door with the right number.

  The grandmotherly woman standing behind the half door turned and called out to someone in the office behind her. “Send Carr-Engram out.”

  “Thanks,” Isaac said.

  “If you want to go down to the next door, that’s where he’ll be coming out.”

  “Thanks.” Isaac said again, but the woman had already turned away. He walked a few feet farther down the hall and waited. He heard the click of a lock and the doorknob turned. Isaac’s jaw dropped when the door opened. He hadn’t seen a picture of Laith since last Christmas, and the boy had grown at least four inches since then. The kid still had his mom’s pixieish features, but his blond hair had been dyed a metallic eggplant color. His black jeans and T-shirt fit tightly on a lanky frame without a spare ounce. “Is that really you?” Isaac said.

  Laith shrugged. “Unfortunately.”

  “What’s wrong with being you?”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “No, just curious. Tell me about the horror of being you while we walk to the car.”

  “I don’t feel like it.”

  “What do you feel like?”

  “I’m fucking exhausted. I didn’t sleep last night. The bed was lumpy as shit.”

  “Your mom let you talk like that?”

  Laith glanced at Isaac. “Are you for real?”

  “Real enough to get you out of juvenile detention.”

  “Thanks,” the boy said grudgingly.

  “You want me to call your mother so you can talk to her?” Isaac asked as he unlocked the old Volvo. “She’s been worried half to death.”

  “Oh man, I remember this car!” Laith said, running a hand along the Volvo’s roof. “Ky used to put me on her lap and let me drive when we were on dirt roads.”

  “So your love of driving goes back a long way.” Isaac punched a number on speed dial. “Hi, Nelle,” he said as he slid into the driver’s seat. “He’s fine, as far as I can tell. Doesn’t seem too anxious to talk with you.” Isaac listened for a few seconds. “I agree. He’s probably a little concerned about what you’re going to do to him when you get him home.”

  Laith snorted and rolled his eyes.

  Isaac held out the phone to his godson, and Laith shook his head. “No, sorry, he’s not talking,” Isaac said into the phone. “I’m taking him home with me. Maybe in a few hours, he’ll stop pouting. Yeah, he’s flipping me off right now.” Isaac lowered his voice. “Listen, why don’t you let him stay overnight and pick him up tomorrow? Yeah, I’m sure, and I have no idea why. I just have a feeling, okay? Bye. Love you.”

  “You can’t intimidate me,” Laith declared.

  “I didn’t realize I was trying to. Now buckle your seat belt. It’s past time for Punkin’s dinner, and he gets testy if I’m late.”

  “I can’t believe that cat’s still alive.”

  “He’ll outlive us all,” Isaac said. “So why’d you take Ky’s car?”

  “I didn’t want to be in Steamboat anymore, so I left.”

  “You know when you take something without permission, it’s technically stealing.”

  “Whatever.”

  “So what were you doing at my house when the cops picked you up?”

  “What difference does it make?”

  Isaac paused. “It makes a difference to me, okay?”

  “I’m a stupid kid who had a stupid idea about coming to California and how it would all be different if I lived here with you.”

  “Nope. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but things are pretty much the same wherever you go… unless you change.”

  “Don’t give me that Yoda bullshit.”

  “All right. Lecture you I won’t. But something must be up with you, and if you told me, I could tell your mom and be the hero.”

  Laith rolled his eyes. “You’re funny… but looks aren’t everything.”

  “If you did live with me, I’d have to insist on a little more respect.”

  “Are you serious?” Laith sat up. “I’ll be the politest fucker you ever saw.”

  “And I’m not against swearing for emphasis, which is how you just used it, but to reduce the venerable, renowned, and resounding word ‘fuck’ to a mere modifier or placeholder is something I won’t stand for.”

  “Got it.”

  “And you know there’s no way in hell your mom’s going to let you stay with me, which is why I feel safe in bandying words with you.”

  “I can talk her into it.”

  “I’m not exactly parent material, much less role model material.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Look at me.” Isaac took off his sunglasses. “I’m a big ol’ drunk with a hangover. And that makes me what they call ‘unfit’.”

  “So stop drinking so much.”

  Isaac shook his head. “Look, I can see that you have problems, but I’m not the one to help you with them.”

  “Then what does being a godfather mean?”

  Isaac nearly made a flippant remark about offers that couldn’t be refused, but it appeared he had a sense of shame after all. “It means I’m supposed to help you with your problems.” He swallowed. “Care to tell me what’s bugging you?”

  “Not right now. I really do need to sleep. I stayed awake in the lockup just in case.”

  “In case of what?”

  “You know, in case someone tried to bust my cherry.”

  “Never use that expression in front of me again. But I admit that you probably had a legitimate concern there.”

  Laith let his head rest against the window and closed his eyes. When he woke, Isaac was parking the car near the set.

  “Where are we?” Laith asked.

  “This is where I work.”

  “Looks like a rich
neighborhood.”

  “We’re using one of the houses as the primary location.”

  “Cool, a movie set,” Laith said as he got out of the car.

  “I need to be here for a while, but I have an RV, so you can have a shower, take a nap, whatever.”

  “Food?”

  “Yeah, there’s food.” Isaac pointed out the craft service table and the catering truck as they walked onto the grounds of Haley House. “You want to go ahead and grab a plate?”

  Laith shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind.”

  Isaac took Laith over and introduced him to the crafty manning the table. Laith loaded a plate and followed Isaac to the motor home. After eating every scrap of food, Laith had a shower and took a nap.

  “This can’t really be happening,” Isaac said as he watched the purple-haired teenager sleeping in his bed with Punkin curled up on his chest. When someone knocked on the door, he jumped to open it. “Hi, Callie.”

  “Why are you talking so softly?”

  “My godson’s napping.”

  Callie snickered. “Your godson. Right.”

  “I’m serious. He’ll be visiting me for… a couple of days, I guess.”

  “Oh. Okay. Hey, is he the little blond boy you used to bring over for the Easter egg hunt?”

  “That’s him. His name’s Laitham, but we call him Laith.”

  “Yeah, I remember. Here are the keys to the car that was dropped at your place.”

  “Thanks, Callie. I owe you one.”

  “I won’t forget.” Callie grinned as she jumped down from the fold-out steps. “And don’t you forget that Tony wants you there for the line reading between Basil and Henry.”

  “I won’t. And I’ll have the beefed-up dialogue.”

  “I know you will. Later.”

  Isaac opened the tiny freezer, took out the bottle of vodka, and took a long swallow. He put it back and went to his laptop. While sucking on a cinnamon breath mint, he wrote a detailed note to Laith, printed three, and taped them to the bathroom door, the fridge door, and the inside of the outer door. Unplugging the laptop, he tucked it under his arm and left the RV.

  The meeting with Tony and the cast went very well. Isaac had worked with Mitch Eichner off-Broadway and admired his no-nonsense approach to his craft. He’d already grown a mustache for the role of Basil. Jamie Brandis, the younger actor, clearly viewed playing a youthful Lord Henry as his breakthrough role and was giving 100 percent. He was so present, he practically vibrated. Caroline Kamimura would make a striking Sibyl Vane and brought earnest professionalism to the table. Her actress character’s avenging brother was being played by Gus Park, a young South Korean actor whose boy-band beauty was belied by the brilliance of his raw, accessible acting style. And of course, there was Colby, their Dorian.

  Introductions were made and business was gotten down to. Lines were read. Lines were made up on the spot and improved on. Occasionally, lines were discarded, or shit-canned, as Tony said. Callie came to fetch Tony, and he left after mentioning that he might want to start blocking the first scene with the lighting crew the next morning. Isaac followed when Callie beckoned to him, and he and Tony had a meeting as they walked around to the front of the house, where a set was being constructed. Tony wasn’t joking when he said he was going to film while the script was being written, and Isaac began to feel the pressure. When Tony turned his attention to the camera being set up on a track, Isaac hurried back to the motor home to work. When he opened the Winnebago’s door, he was surprised to see Colby.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked as he climbed the steps.

  “I invited him in,” Laith said from the bathroom area. “You didn’t tell me you knew Colby Lightner.”

  “Somehow it just didn’t come up,” Isaac said, shoving Colby’s soda aside so he could set down his laptop.

  “Laith appreciates my work,” Colby said.

  “Laith is a high-school kid,” Isaac said before he thought about it. “No offense, Laith,” he added.

  “Why would that offend me?” Laith replied. “I’d have to care first.”

  Colby chuckled as he gave Isaac a mock-punch on the arm. “I knew the two of you were related the second Laith opened his smartass mouth. He sounds just like you.”

  “Not cool,” Laith exclaimed.

  “Come on,” Colby said. “You’re both as blunt as something that’s really, really blunt.”

  “And you’re early,” Isaac said.

  “I stopped by to drop off some notes so you could think about them while you write.”

  “These?” Isaac picked up a few sheets of hotel stationery. “Why didn’t you just type them up and e-mail them to me?”

  “I like being on the set, especially this one. Everything’s so… guerilla, you know?”

  “No idea what you mean by that,” Isaac said. “Now you have to go away so you can come back later.”

  “Really?” Laith said. “I wanted to talk to Colby some more.”

  “Why don’t I take Laith on a tour of the set?” Colby said.

  Isaac didn’t see any way to refuse without looking as petty as he actually was. “Sure. Just don’t be all day.”

  “Don’t worry, Zack,” Colby said. “I wouldn’t miss out on our session for anything.”

  “Don’t call me Zack.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s not my name.”

  “Come on,” Laith said to Colby. “He’s a real grouch when he’s working.”

  “Then he must be working 24/7,” Colby said as the door closed.

  “Asswipe,” Isaac said as he opened the laptop.

  Punkin butted Isaac’s ankles, and Isaac got up to fill the food bowl. The bag of cat food felt light, and Isaac had the suspicion that Laith had already fed Punkin. Taking out his phone, he found Laith’s number and called him.

  “Did you feed the cat?” he asked when Laith answered.

  “Yeah, he told me he was starving.”

  “No big deal, but the Creature’s on a diet, so let me feed him, okay?”

  “Sure, you big control freak.”

  “Look, I get that you’re showing off for Colby, but could you at least laugh when you diss me?”

  “I’ll work on it. Anything else?”

  “Think about what you want for dinner. I figure we’ll stay at my house tonight and pick something up on the way.”

  “Hang on.” It was a few seconds before Laith spoke again. “Can I invite Colby to dinner?”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Isaac bit back words like, “I thought we’d spend the evening catching up, just the two of us.” How quickly he’d gone from resenting Laith’s intrusion on his life to being jealous of Laith’s company. “It’s no extra trouble.”

  “Thanks!”

  Isaac hung up, annoyed that Actor Boy was going to be roaming around in his sanctum sanctorum. On the other hand, Laith had sounded truly happy for the first time since Isaac had picked him up. Maybe the trade-off was worth it, but he wasn’t looking forward to an evening with Colby Lightner. It was bad enough he had to work with him; he didn’t want him oozing over into his private life. However, he was feeling the sting of guilt over being completely derelict in his duty as a godfather, and Laith seemed a lot more at ease in Colby’s company. It was a lot of maybes, howevers, and on-the-other-hands. Isaac didn’t like dithering; he was normally quite sure of things.

  “Forget it,” he told Punkin when the cat head-butted his ankle again. “Laith told me he fed you, so don’t bother lying.”

  Punkin went into the kitchen area and batted his bowl against the wall. The heavy plastic rebounded and clattered to a stop on the linoleum.

  “Yeesh! Is this what it’s like to still be sober at two in the afternoon?” Getting up, Isaac filled a glass with orange juice and vodka and brought it back to the table. “I don’t want to hear any comments,” he told Punkin.

  The cat gave him a reproachful look and then the ass. Tail twitching, Punkin stalked into the bedroom.


  “I know it sucks,” Isaac called out as Punkin jumped onto the bed. “But if you’re thinking about leaving anything on my pillow, you’d better think again. Your fat ass will be walking the streets, and I’m not kidding this time.” He looked over his shoulder at the cat kneading the down comforter. “I mean it.”

  Punkin turned in a circle and curled up with the tip of his tail over his nose.

  “Good kitty,” Isaac said. Feeling settled at last, he opened a file and read over some notes. He began typing and was surprised when Laith and Colby returned. “Thought you’d be gone longer,” he said as they came in.

  “Make up your mind,” Laith said. “You told us not to be gone all day. Anyway, it’s been two hours since we left.”

  “Oh. So did you have a good time?” Isaac groaned as the words left his mouth. “That was a lame question, wasn’t it?”

  “Little bit.” Colby shrugged. “You’re entitled to be lame occasionally.”

  “You sounded like a parent,” Laith said.

  “I apologize. So what’s the plan?”

  “Plan?” Laith echoed.

  “When we talked earlier, I got the idea you wanted to plan the evening. So what’s your pleasure—keeping in mind that your mother is probably picking you up tomorrow?”

  “I get to choose?” Laith raised a pierced eyebrow.

  “Am I being unclear?”

  “Can we make burgers on the grill?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “Are you kidding? You know how my parents eat.”

  “They eat for their health,” Isaac said. “But if you want a barbecue, we’ll have one. I just need to stop at the store and pick up some stuff.”

  “Why don’t you go now?” Colby said. “We can have our usual meeting while you cook.”

  Isaac looked at the time. “I can’t believe it’s almost six o’clock.” He closed the file he was working on and shut down the laptop. “We should get going.”

  “Can I ride with Colby?” Laith asked.

  Isaac hesitated briefly but long enough for Colby to speak up.

  “I understand if you don’t trust me, but I’m actually a good driver, and I promise I’ll take Laith directly to your house.”

  “You know where I live?”

  “No, but you can tell me, or I can ask Callie.”

  “Um, I know how to get there,” Laith said, and Colby chuckled.