Book Boyfriend

by D. C. Renee

  “Kim, you want to slap my ass, you can do it any time,” Travis replied in a deep, husky voice. “Any way you want to put your hands on me is fine. Just remember, I like to give as good as I get.” Did someone have a fan I could borrow? The air around me seemed to become stifling all of a sudden. I wasn’t going to lie; I thoroughly enjoyed the way Travis and Brent flirted with me. It made me feel pretty and wanted, even though I knew they were just having fun. It didn’t stop me from getting all tingly inside, though.

  I shook my head to get a hold of myself. “I’ll keep that in mind, so no ass slapping, huh?”

  “No, Kim.” Brent chuckled. “And besides, athletes don’t slap, they tap, and they sure as hell don’t say, ‘Go get ‘em, tiger.’” They were both laughing by this time.

  “All right, all right, no tigers either. Now, you,” I said to Travis, “go over there and flirt, but nicely. None of that crap you just pulled with me. That’s instant sex stuff right there.”

  He lifted his eyebrow as he seemed to process my words, but then he just nodded and walked away toward the tree with the girl.

  Brent and I watched as he approached her. We didn’t hear what he said, but by her dumbfounded look, he must have used my line. And then he said some more and sat next to her before she got a chance to say anything. He pulled out his phone and started fiddling with it.

  We saw the girl steal glances at him from the corner of her eye.

  “Holy shit! It worked!” Brent exclaimed in surprise.

  “Of course, it worked. I’m a master, remember? Now, he’s on his own. If he’s smart, then he’ll get her name and number and a date in the next five minutes and then we can try someone else.”

  “Why does he need to try someone else?”

  “Because I had to tell him what to do. We want the girl to like him, not me,” I pointed out. “That means he needs to learn from me, but then be able to use his own lines.”

  We were silent while we watched nothing happen with Travis. He was starting to look bored, and I was getting nervous.

  “Kim, you know what you said about yourself earlier. You don’t actually think you’re nothing special, do you?” Brent asked, catching me off guard.

  “Well, no, not exactly,” I admitted.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Well, I know I’m no bombshell, but I’ve learned enough tricks that I could keep a guy entertained if I needed to. All about the game, right? And I learned my lesson anyway. I don’t allow myself to get close to the guy every girl wants anymore. For fun, sure, but the long haul? I’m not the type of girl a guy like you or Travis is going to keep around forever. I know my limits, and I’m fine with them.” I wasn’t sure why I opened up to Brent. Lauren knew my feelings on the subject—she was my best friend, after all—but talking to a girlfriend was completely different than talking to your guy friend. It must have been opening up the wound from Will the previous night – it had me in a funk, but I should have just brushed Brent off. Especially after I saw the look of pity and shock on his face.

  “What lesson, Kim?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yeah, it does. You’re my friend, and you’re dead wrong.”

  “I shouldn’t have said anything, and I’m sorry I did. Please drop it. We have work to do, and I’m telling you right now that this conversation is over.”

  “For now.”

  “Forever.”

  He didn’t look convinced, nor did he look pleased, but I knew he would drop it, so that was fine with me. We turned back to Travis, the silence hanging a little too heavy between Brent and me. We watched for another minute, and I was about to say something, anything, to break the tension, when the girl finally looked up and then she started talking to Travis.

  “Yes!” I yelled, a little too loudly, and then jumped up and down. This was going to work. Travis was answering her. Everything looked good, and then wham! She slapped him. I swear we heard the smack all the way from where we were standing.

  “Oh, damn!” Brent had yelled out right before he started laughing so hard I thought I saw tears.

  Moments later, Travis was next to us with a red handprint on his face, a snarl on his lips, and a confused look in his eyes.

  “What did you do?” I asked, accusingly.

  “I didn’t do anything!” he said and threw up his hands.

  “Then why did she slap you?”

  “It all went like you said it would. She finally talked to me after I was dying of boredom. She asked why I had to sit in that spot if all I was doing was playing on my phone. I admitted that it had all been a line just to be able to get close to her. I thought you’d approve of that.” I did, and I nodded. “She smiled and asked my name. I told her and then asked for hers. I told her I’d like to get to know her better. She said she’d like that, too. I gave her my phone so she could put her number in it, and then I may have had a naughty text from a girl pop up right on the screen,” he said sheepishly.

  “What kind of naughty text?” I asked.

  “The kind you’d probably not want to see,” he answered seriously.

  “Fine, whatever, you’re probably right. Okay, so you did damage control, right? Told her that this was an ex who wanted you back, or your friends messing with you, or even the truth, that you may sort of have a rep, but that doesn’t reflect on her because you are not looking to get into her pants, right?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “So then what exactly did you say?” I asked, my voice rising a bit.

  “Well, the text kind of caught me off guard, so I may have sort of implied that if she thought that text was something special, I could make her believe it was pretty PG within the hour.”

  “You didn’t!” I huffed, more like yelled.

  “Kim, you are the only girl I’ve had any kind of conversation with that didn’t involve sex. I’m just not good at this kind of thing, especially with some random girl. Look, I can flirt with you, I can talk to you, and I can even tell you that I had some pretty awesome sex last night after you left my place, but seriously, you are the only girl I can do that with.”

  “You knew this, didn’t you?” I pointed an accusing finger at Brent. “You knew Travis wouldn’t be able to get a good girl to like him because he doesn’t care enough about any girl enough to try.”

  “Don’t go there,” Travis interrupted. “They always want more with me. They just know it’s not gonna happen, so they take what they can get. And the so-called good ones, yeah, fine, they stay away because they aren’t looking for a one-night stand. But I’m not looking for a relationship, so why the hell should I put in the effort to try to get to know them, sleep with them, and then dump them? I told you, Kim. I may be a player, but I’m not an asshole. Fine, okay, I’m not good at this getting-to-know-you crap, but that’s why you’re here, on my team. We are going to win this stupid ass bet, and you’re going to stop bitching and help me.”

  “You’re right,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.” I felt so small all of a sudden. I had insulted Travis, and I felt horrible about it, especially after his little speech. He was absolutely right, and I was judging my friend for no reason.

  “Well, I think that’s enough for today. Dinner and drinks, anyone?” Brent stepped in to deflect.

  “I’m in,” Travis said, a smile playing on his lips, probably from my apology.

  “You paying? I’m definitely in.” And my happy-go-lucky self was back.

  chapter seven

  Dinner was good; we laughed, we talked, and I got made fun of for a variety of things, ranging from the fact that I was afraid of squirrels—yes, squirrels, those little fuzzy creatures are deceptive. They only want you to think they are cute and cuddly, but they are vicious and steal your food—to the fact that I’m an adult and I still like to watch the Disney channel. Hey! They have the best cartoon movies. Anyone remember The Lion King? Critically acclaimed? Oh, and hey, guess what? It was a Disney movie.

  And then we started drink
ing. Drunk Kim was always a lot of fun, or so I was told. I was a major lightweight, but hey, at least that meant I was a cheap date. So, after about two whole tequila shots, I was pretty freaking buzzed; after four tequila shots, I remembered dancing on the table. Apparently, I liked to pretend I was a stripper with clothes on and bump and grind on just about everything—girls, guys, chairs, walls, you name it. Why did I do this to myself every time? Because one of these days, I would beat this stupid phase, I knew it.

  And then my memory went a little hazy. I remembered having tons of fun, I remembered Travis attempting to flirt with someone “nicely,” and it not going so well. I remembered Brent saying he wanted to try and actually succeeding. Good job, Brent! And I remembered Travis and Brent telling me how happy they were to be friends with me because I was not only fun and funny, but I was nice and easy to talk to. I think that made me cry. Actually, I’m pretty sure that made me cry, but they were happy tears.

  And then, things went downhill. I remembered Travis and Brent walking me home and I remembered them giving me an interrogation regarding Will. I remembered spilling everything—my thoughts, my feelings, how hurt I was, how I became Miss Bubbly personality to cover up the pain, and then just sticking with it. How I started guarding my heart, and most importantly, how he had been my one and only, and my vagina was growing cobwebs. Yes, I managed to sneak a weird-ass metaphor into my crying spiel.

  I think I remembered them saying they would make Will pay and telling me how amazing I was, but I couldn’t be too sure as I had drunk way more than four tequilas by this point.

  And then, my best friend, Mr. Toilet, kept me company all night. At least he got some action from me.

  And that was why I avoided Travis and Brent for the next two days. It didn’t last more than that though because they ambushed me after class.

  “What the fuck, Kim? You avoiding us?”

  “Yes.” I sighed.

  “Why?” Brent asked.

  “Because I know you guys tricked me into telling you my dirty little secrets and that was so not cool. As embarrassed as I always manage to be around you guys, this takes the cake.”

  “What? Why?” Trav asked, completely confused.

  “Because falling on my ass is the Three Stooges type embarrassment. I can take it, I’m clumsy, and it’s not a reflection of me. But this—my history, you guys getting to know how stupid and naïve I was, how I couldn’t see what was right in front of me, that shows you what kind of dumbass I am, and I don’t like it.”

  “Kim, you’re not a dumbass, and that doesn’t change our perspective of you in any way, shape, or form,” Travis replied.

  “Yeah, if anything, it just proves everything you’ve been trying to teach us. You’re human, you’re a good girl, you fell for an asshole that wasn’t upfront, and you got burned, so you’re naturally protecting yourself. That just proves that you have a head on your shoulders,” Brent added.

  “Nothing to be embarrassed about. You know we are your friends and we could never think of you as anything but fun and dorky. But now we know you truly have a deep, sensitive side,” Travis said with a wink to break up the tension.

  “It’s actually kind of refreshing to know you’re not perfect.” Travis and Brent finished their intertwined rant.

  “You guys thought I was perfect?” I squealed.

  “Out of everything we said, that’s what you took out of it?”

  “Well, no, I love you guys too, but that was really nice to hear.” I smiled wide and then pulled them into a group hug.

  “Thanks, you guys. I guess I needed to hear that all was okay. But I better not see any pity stares or sneaky glances like I’m a china doll waiting to break,” I threatened.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. Well, unless you want me to break you in,” Travis smirked. And this time, I knew he was purposely providing the sexual innuendo to lighten the mood.

  “If I need that, then you’ll be the first to know,” I said and winked back.

  “Hey, what about me?” whined Brent.

  “Okay, fine, it will be a threesome.” I laughed back.

  “That’s more like it,” Brent added.

  “Now, Kim, get your big girl panties on because we need to get back to work. And I’ve been practicing while you were out of commission,” Travis added.

  “Oh, yeah? Practicing with whom?”

  “Well, okay, so maybe practicing wasn’t the exact right word. I’ve been studying.”

  “Huh?”

  “Okay, I’m not a creeper, I swear, but I may have sort of followed a few guys around and watched them flirt, and I think I know what to do now.” Totally sounded like a creeper, but I had to admit that I was sort of impressed that he not only thought to do that but actually did it.

  “Yeah, it was pretty funny watching Travis try to blend in as if he wasn’t the third wheel. And when the couple would turn around, Trav would try not to look like a stalker.” Brent laughed.

  “Damn! I missed a lot avoiding you guys the past two days. Can I get a replay?”

  “No,” Travis immediately answered.

  “I did get some awesome videos,” Brent added. “I’ll show you later.”

  I couldn’t wait to finally be able to laugh at one of them instead of them laughing at me. “All right, Trav, let’s go see what you got.”

  chapter eight

  They walked around campus and Travis pointed to a girl sitting and sunning herself sans any real clothes. Well, okay, she had a bikini on—if that counted as a bikini and not just some strings with little scraps of cloth attached.

  “How about I show you what I can do with her?” Travis asked.

  “Oh, hell no. We are not going to watch you get your groove on. That girl is practically begging to get into bed with you.”

  “Ah, is Kim getting a little jealous?”

  “Trav! We want a good girl, not a ‘come and get it’ girl. She’s dressed like that because she wants to be noticed. Good girls want to blend in because they don’t want the dogs to come out and try to take a bite out of them.”

  “Like you,” Brent added.

  “Yes, all right, fine, like me. But I don’t really fall into that category because I have no shame when it comes to flirting and getting attention. I just know when to stop. And I may or may not dress up on occasion when it can get me into a club,” I pointed out.

  “You dress like that?” Trav asked incredulously.

  “Well, I don’t own a bikini that’s not really a bikini, but yeah, guys, did you think I was a nun or something? I get dolled up when I go out.”

  “And why haven’t we seen this before?” Brent chimed in.

  “Because we’ve never gone clubbing before.”

  “Oh, no, that won’t do. We’re going out this weekend!” Travis responded.

  “Okay, fine, whatever,” I grumbled. I went out with my girlfriends so I could dance and be free. I dressed up so I felt pretty and blended in with the throngs of oversexed people. Now I was going to be self-conscious thanks to my big mouth and Tweedledee and Tweedledum’s curiosity. Maybe they’d forget by the weekend. Maybe. Hopefully … Oh, who was I kidding, I was getting my game on whether I wanted to or not. “We’ll see when the weekend rolls around, but for now, less talking and more flirting.”

  “Doesn’t flirting involve talking?” mused Brent.

  “Oh, shut it, smartass. You know what I meant.” Infuriating. Even though he was technically right. Hey, I never said I was a genius with words.

  “Okay, Travis. That girl,” I said pointing at someone. “The one walking and not paying attention to anything but the book in her hand. She is studying for either a midterm or she is a nerd like me and oblivious to her surroundings. Let’s hope she’s a nerd because if she’s studying on the go, she’s probably stressed and things might get interesting. But, hey, it’s worth a shot.” Travis started to speak, but I held up my hand. “No, no help from me. You said you’ve been practicing, so let’s see it. Go. May the fo
rce be with you.”

  “Well, that was better than ‘Go get ‘em, tiger.’” Travis chuckled while Brent smiled.

  “Oh, shut up,” I snapped at Brent.

  “I didn’t say a word,” he practically sang.

  “You were thinking it.”

  “You really need to stop being so cute. Oh, wait, on second thought, don’t. You are way too funny as you are.”

  We watched Travis stroll up to the unsuspecting girl. We couldn’t hear what he said, but whatever it was, she smiled. She freaking smiled. That meant Travis was doing something right. Ah! My little boy was growing up.

  They spoke for a little longer and then Travis handed her his phone, and he got her number. Oh, yeah, he got her number! I was doing an internal happy dance at this point. Was it slightly wrong that I was cheering on a guy for getting another girl’s number? Nah! But I did sort of feel bad for her because the chances of Travis calling her were slim to none. But, hey, that was part of life. It had been done to me, no biggie. Getting your heart stomped on, now that was a biggie.

  Travis came back with a giant grin. “I did it!” he practically yelled.

  “Keep it down. We don’t want the world to know you flirted on purpose,” I responded.

  “Aren’t you supposed to flirt on purpose?”

  “Oh! Exasperating! You know what I mean.”

  “Of course, we do, but you make it too easy.” Brent laughed.

  “Whatever,” I grumbled. “Okay, back to important matters. Trav, how did you do it?”

  “Well, I took your advice and when I walked up to her, I said ‘If you’re doing last-minute cramming, then I should probably walk away, right? Wouldn’t want to distract you like you’ve distracted me.’”

  “Smooth,” I had to respond.

  “I know, right?” Travis asked as if he was surprised.

  “And then what?”

  “Then she said she was just reading between classes and got to a good part, so she couldn’t put it down. I told her that I didn’t want to take her away from that and then asked if I could call her so maybe we can talk when she’s not as focused on the book.”