Book Boyfriend

by D. C. Renee

  I laughed. “Thanks, I think.”

  “But don’t worry, Kim. I won’t do anything to jeopardize you being in my life. I like your presence too much. Even if I have to go take a cold shower after this workout.” I groaned at that. “It will totally be worth it,” he continued, “because I get to hang out with you. Just the two of us. It’s kind of nice, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “It is.”

  “Good.” He nodded.

  “Right,” I added. It was starting to get awkward, so I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the equipment. “Come on.”

  I pretty much gave up working out for the day after the butt blaster. Who knew that deceiving machine would be so much work? Travis let me go after he slapped my ass and told me it felt great to him. That got a few tingles and a giggle from me. And I might have sort of slapped him right back and said, “Not as great as yours.” I swore I saw a little drool in the corner of his mouth when I did that. It was nice being a girl sometimes. Just sometimes, though. Okay, maybe most of the time. I crashed when I got home, but not before an image of Travis, shirtless, his amazing smile beaming at me, flashed before my eyes. Flirting with him was getting hard. I just had to keep remembering that it was all innocent and platonic. Just friends having fun. Too bad my heart wasn’t quite getting the memo.

  chapter eighteen

  We were evil; we were just plain evil. Okay, really, Brent was evil, and I was his stupid sidekick. I swore that boy could get me to strip and run around campus sans clothes. Stupid smile. Stupid, stupid charm. And damn stupid feelings. I got all tingling around him lately, and I knew it was wrong. I kept telling myself that having feelings for Brent (and Travis, for that matter) was a no-go. But my traitorous body wasn’t listening to my mind, getting all goosebumpy and whatnot. Not to mention the fact that I finally understood how women could have feelings for multiple guys. Just bag me and tag me “Exhibit A.” Wow. That sounded a lot dirtier than I had meant it to.

  As Brent and I were walking over to get Travis, and Brent was filling me in on the last “fake” Abby, I told him that we were mean. He had clearly saved the “best” for last. Poor Travis.

  “Travis is going to kill us. No, scratch that. He’s going to kill me. I’m supposed to be on his team. But no! I go and let you talk me into fooling him. I was sure he was going to catch on with the other two Abbys. But he didn’t. He will with this one. I know it.”

  “Kim, relax,” Brent said as he stopped and grabbed both of my upper arms. He was facing me and staring at me, willing me to calm down. “Trav isn’t going to kill you or me. He won’t know we messed with him, and even if he did, he'd pat us on the back for getting him, and we’ll all laugh about it.”

  “You remember what happened the last time? With the she-hating-the-world wannabe diva drama bitch?”

  Brent laughed. “‘She-hating-the-world?’ Yes, so?”

  “She went off on Travis like nobody’s business, and that was our fault.”

  “First off, we didn’t know she was going to go all man-hating on him. And Travis didn’t care. Besides, you took care of her anyway.”

  “This is just mean.”

  “Kim, do you trust me?”

  I nodded.

  “Good because I would never want you to feel bad or uncomfortable. I would do anything to see you happy and carefree. If you really don’t want to do this, then we won’t. It’s not worth the fun to see you freaking out like this. It’s not a big deal, and you mean so much more. But if you trust me, then I promise you this will be fun. If you want, we’ll even tell Travis, and he’ll laugh about it afterward, too.”

  I sighed. See? Freaking charmer. How could I say no to that?

  So here we were, meeting up with Travis so we could have one last fun interaction before Travis and I got down to business and won the bet.

  “Kim, you all right?” Travis asked. Brent gave me the stink eye. Well, the guy equivalent of the stink eye.

  “Yep, just nervous after the last disaster,” I said. I wasn’t lying either.

  “Aw, Kim. But you protected me from the big bad she-wolf.” Travis laughed and put his arm around me. I might have melted a little into him, pushing the guilt aside for the very nice feel of his arm around me. Damn. I was in trouble. Liking two guys? Not good. Liking two guys who were best friends? Even worse. Liking two guys who were your own best friends? Not even allowing myself to go there.

  “Besides,” he added, “it was totally worth it to see you go off on her. Now throw in some bikinis and a mud pit, and that would have been awesome.” Brent nodded in agreement.

  “Ugh! Guys!” I said out loud.

  “So who do we have today?”

  “This one seems normal. Not bad looking, outgoing, lots of friends. No declared major, supposedly. Shouldn’t be too bad,” Brent responded.

  Brent was actually right about all the above, but he left out an itty, bitty, tiny little detail. Abby used to be Abe—Abraham to be exact, I think. He made a pretty good-looking girl, actually. And if I hadn’t known from all the clubs and posts he had written on his websites, I would have thought he was a girl. Well, except for the Adam’s apple. And I think I read somewhere that his voice was still pretty low, but who knew. Not like I talked to her. As I thought about it more, the situation actually became pretty funny, and I was starting to appreciate Brent talking me into this.

  “Third time’s a charm, right?” Travis said, sounding slightly disappointed as if he felt he should have nailed this on the first try. If he only knew.

  “So, where is she?” he asked, and I had to cover up my snort by coughing. Travis wouldn’t appreciate our version of “she” in a bit.

  Just then, Abby/Abe came out of the science building near where we were standing.

  “Right over there.” Brent pointed with a huge smile.

  “I got this,” Travis said as he started to stroll away.

  “You don’t need me to tell you what to say?” I asked.

  “Oh, hmm, might be a good idea.”

  “How about something like, ‘Hi, sorry, can you help me? This is the science building right?’ And when she responds yes, then maybe feign appreciation and tell her that science isn’t really your thing and you’re not sure how she does it. That should lead to something.”

  “Hmm, yeah, I could work with that.”

  “Good, now go get yourself some sugar!”

  “Oh, Kim. That’s not even the right way to say it.” Brent laughed.

  “I know that, but I was paraphrasing for the appropriate occasion.”

  “Oh, God, please, please, whatever you do, don’t stop trying to get it right. Don’t ever stop.” Travis was sputtering.

  “Whatever, just go get a date, stud.” I shooed him away.

  “One of these days …” I trailed off.

  “That’s what you always say.”

  “And I’ll get it right eventually.”

  “Why can’t you just say good luck or break a leg?” Brent asked.

  “What’s the fun in that?”

  “You’re something else,” he said as he shook his head, but the smile playing on his lips said he liked that I was different.

  “You just realized this now? Where have you been? I’m the shi-at!”

  “I think I’ve always known,” Brent said with a touch of seriousness and a hint of playfulness. He knew just how to melt my heart. This was why I had never been friends with guys before, especially hot ones.

  “Look.” I pointed at where Travis and Abby/Abe were talking. They were laughing at something, and it looked to be going really well. Huh. I guess the voice wasn’t a giveaway, unless Travis didn’t care, and then well, hey, more power to him.

  “Oh man, I can’t wait until he figures it out,” Brent mused.

  “How is he going to figure it out? It’s not like Abby is just going say, ‘Oh, hey, by the way, I’m really a guy.’”

  “Just wait. Unless Abby over there has had a sex change, which, co
me on, what are the chances? She’s still fundamentally a guy.”

  “Okay, so?”

  “So guys have traits, tendencies. No matter what.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  It was almost as if Abby/Abe was listening to Brent because right then, he reached for his junk. And was that a scratch? Was that a re-adjustment? Whatever it was, it wasn’t conscious. It looked like he didn’t even realize he did it, but I saw Travis falter. And then I saw his head move as his eyes roamed Abby’s body and finally paused at his throat. And I swore I saw Travis swallow hard. And was that a bead of sweat on his forehead? It was hard to tell from where I was standing, but the sudden tension was definitely palpable.

  “Oh, God. Look at him. He’s panicking. He doesn’t know what to do.” Brent was dying.

  “Poor Abby!” I said out loud.

  “Poor Abby? What about poor Travis?” Brent looked at me as if I’d grown two horns.

  “Yes, poor Abby! She - or is it he - was probably so happy she finally got some attention from a good looking guy. Things were going great and now she is going to be embarrassed and humiliated!” I cried.

  “Oh, and you referring to her as ‘she/he’ isn’t any better than what’s happening over there?” Brent asked mockingly.

  “She/he can’t hear me,” I pointed out.

  “Oh, no! No, don’t reach out!” Brent mused out loud looking over my shoulder.

  I turned back to the scene to see Abby reaching out a hand to touch Travis’ shoulder. He was silent, and I saw him follow her arm. What would he do? Oh, crap! What if he was a homophobe?

  Brent must have read my mind because he said, “Don’t worry. Travis doesn’t have anything against gay guys. But that doesn’t mean he wants to be hitting on one and giving him the wrong impression. And considering he just spent a good five minutes doing just that, he’s sweating balls over there.”

  “Then why not just play it off and walk away like he’s done with all the other girls?”

  “Hard to explain, but it must be a guy thing. It’s okay to hit on a girl and never call her. It’s kind of flattering to be hit on by a guy, as long as nothing comes of it, but it’s not okay to hit on a guy if we’re not into guys.”

  “Don’t get it,” I responded.

  “You won’t. Don’t sweat it. Just enjoy watching Travis suffer.”

  Travis had pretty much stopped talking. He was now just nodding and looking around, trying to find an escape. He looked like he was constipated, actually.

  I must have said it out loud because Brent was suddenly practically on the floor. “Oh, God, I’m going to tell him you said that.”

  “Oh, no! No! You can’t. Look at him. He looks like he’s on the verge of passing out!”

  “He’ll figure a way out of it. I have faith.”

  After about another minute, Travis was walking back toward us looking like he’d seen a ghost. Brent couldn’t control his laughter, and I couldn’t keep the distress from my face.

  “What happened?” Brent asked between laughs.

  Travis’ head snapped toward him, and he narrowed his eyes. “You knew, didn’t you?”

  “Knew what?” Brent feigned innocence.

  “You set me up! Dude, I’m not into dudes!”

  “You were doing just fine there for a while,” Brent answered.

  “She was a he!”

  “And you’re a homophobe?” Brent asked.

  “No! But I don’t want to date a guy!”

  Travis swung his gaze to me. “You let him set me up?”

  “I, uh … I …” I stuttered.

  Travis looked like he was fuming for a minute before he finally broke into a smile. He clapped. “Well played, well played. I can’t believe I fell for that. Damn, you guys. I am so getting you back though. You better watch your backs.”

  I literally felt a weight lifted off my chest.

  “Told ya,” Brent said as he nudged me with his elbow.

  “Told you what?” Travis asked.

  “Kim thought you were going to kill her.”

  “Ah, Kim. I could never do that to you. Now, Brent, that’s a different story. Next time, you’re on my team, and he is going to get it.”

  I finally smiled. “Deal,” I said and reached my hand out to his.

  We shook and then he held my hand a moment longer. “It will be nice to have you on my side.”

  I just nodded. Whew. That wasn’t too bad.

  chapter nineteen

  Travis, Brent, and I spent the next few days looking through some viable Abby options. I knew Travis would have no trouble sweeping any of them off their feet, so it didn’t matter which girl we picked. She just needed to be named Abby, be kind of sweet/innocent based on what we could tell about her from her social media sites, and not bad looking (a Travis requirement, go figure).

  So we made an initial list of three girls. It was kind of good we did because it turned out that girl number one on our list had just started seeing someone. Watching Travis’ interaction with her was actually kind of endearing.

  He met her at a coffee shop near campus while she was studying or reading some book and drinking some frilly drink. I had him go up and ask her what she was drinking.

  “Do you mind telling me what you are drinking? It looks good.” She had been taken aback momentarily and then Travis recovered, “I know, I’m supposed to like black coffee and all, but shh, don’t tell anyone. It tastes bitter to me.”

  He did so well. I felt kind of proud but a little jealous, too. I pushed that down quickly though. Abby giggled and told him what she was drinking. He asked if he could join her after he ordered one for himself. And then her face fell a bit, but she let him know she had just started seeing someone. She said it wasn’t serious, but she didn’t feel right flirting with someone else. She was just the type of girl we were looking for. And even I appreciated that she didn’t fall at Travis’ feet, as charming as he was. She was loyal, and I hoped Travis understood the beauty of that. I thought he might have when he came back to a shocked looking Brent and myself.

  “Well, I’ve never been turned down for another guy before,” Travis mused.

  “I don’t get it. You had her,” Brent stated.

  I turned to him. “She was flattered, she might have even liked Travis and would have gone with him, but he never had her because that’s what real girls are all about. They are loyal, and sweet, and honest. They don’t let some fun get in the way of something that could be good for them. If the guy she is seeing is good to her and she likes him and she likes spending time with him, then why would she risk that for something she doesn’t know? How would you feel if you were with someone and you thought things were going great only to find out that she wasn’t as into you as you apparently were into her?”

  “I, uh …” Brent faltered.

  “It would suck. So both of you pay attention here. That was a good lesson for you both. That girl right there, you want to keep and hold on to her kind. Go have fun with the girls who would ditch their men at the first smile you give them but don’t expect them not to do the same to you with someone else. Find someone like that Abby there to be your true girl.”

  “Damn, Kim, since when did you get so deep?” Travis asked to break up the tension.

  I glared at him. “Really? You’ve known me how long and you are shocked by this revelation?” They both shook their heads. “Good. I’m glad we got that out of the way. Actually, I’m really glad that happened,” I beamed. “Let’s go. Time’s running out.”

  “That made you happy? Sometimes I wonder about you.” Brent laughed.

  “Hell, yeah! Travis got dissed for a good reason!”

  “Yeah, Kim, I guess I did.” Well, snap. Looked like they actually got it a bit. Go me!

  *****

  The next Abby was the one. I knew it! About a week was left before the bet was over, and Travis had a date the next day. We were going to win. All we had to do was get the date to go well and have her wantin
g a second one. If she did, then that meant she liked him, like really liked him, and we’d win. We’d win!

  This Abby was actually Abigail but went by Abby. She had light brown hair and a straight nose, perfect white teeth, and big gray eyes. She didn’t exactly look like my idea of Abby from the book, but she was very cute and had a nice body, with a slender waist and proportionate hips and bust. She was quiet and shy, and from my understanding, she had two overprotective older brothers, which made it hard for her to date. They also beat it into her head that guys only wanted one thing, which made her innocent and perfect. I learned all this from friends of friends, so it might have all been idle gossip, but her first interaction with Travis made me believe it could be true.

  She was working at the bookstore, and I sent Travis in to get a shirt for his mom. I made him ask her for her opinion. At first, she seemed hesitant, but when Travis explained he wanted his mom to have some school spirit, she actually said, “Aw,” out loud. Hooked! Damn, I should have been a guy in another life; I would have gotten so many girls with my mad flirting skills.

  “Kim, I’m taking you with me every time I try to get a date,” Brent told me as we watched Travis work.

  “I know, right? I’m awesome!” I squealed.

  “Yeah, Kim, you are,” he said a little wistfully. I looked over at him, and he was looking back at me. If only there was true longing in his eyes, then I would have been on cloud nine. No, wait, I wouldn’t have been. Stop having feelings for guys you can’t have, I told myself. So I smiled big, which caused him to smile back.