Book Boyfriend

by D. C. Renee

  And just like that, I enjoyed the rest of the night.

  *****

  I texted Brent and asked if he had time to meet up. It took him a bit to respond, but he finally said sure. So now I was waiting for him outside his place. We were supposed to meet at the coffee shop, but I was anxious, nervous, and a ton of other emotions which I couldn’t pinpoint.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” he asked as he walked out and saw me smiling. As nervous as I was, I couldn’t hide how happy I was to see him.

  He reached me and gave me a quick hug.

  “What can I say? I’m impatient.” I giggled. It sounded a little forced to my ears, but I hoped Brent didn’t hear it.

  “So, what’s up?” he asked as we started walking toward the coffee shop.

  “Oh, not much. I aced my test, and I bought a new pair of shoes, again. Travis and I are dating.” I said it like it was nothing, even though it was something, and Brent already knew.

  “So I hear,” he said as he stopped and looked at me.

  “Yeah, weird, right? It kind of just happened. One minute, I’m trying to set him up, and the next, I’m the one who’s set up. Why he would want me of all the girls out there, I don’t know, but hey, I’m not complaining.”

  “I love Travis like a brother, Kim. I want him to be happy. But listen when I say, he’s lucky. He’s lucky that you want him and not the other way around.” He said all this while holding onto my arms and looking into my eyes.

  “I … uh … wow, thanks.”

  “You don’t believe me,” he whispered.

  Nope. Nope, I didn’t.

  He just kept staring at me, his gaze penetrating through me. “Nothing I tell you seems to get through that thick skull of yours. Any guy, and I mean any guy, would love to have you as theirs. So I repeat—the fact that Trav got to be the one means he’s lucky.”

  I licked my lips. It wasn’t on purpose or to be sexual. I was nervous and couldn’t fidget with my hands since Brent still had a hold of them, so I licked my lips. And I saw Brent’s gaze drop to them. And for a brief moment, I imagined him licking my lips, parting them with his own. And then I realized how wrong that image was for numerous reasons. So I leaned in, breaking free and wrapping my arms around him.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into his chest as he hugged me back. “Thank you for always making me feel special. You are literally one of my best friends. I don’t think I could take it if you pulled away because of what’s happening between Trav and me.”

  “Not going anywhere,” he responded.

  “Good,” I stated. It was good. It was great, actually. The rest of the time went by like all the other times. We laughed, we joked, and we flirted. We were our usually friendly selves. Things had worked out. They were great.

  chapter twenty-six

  Things were…well, they were great, actually. I seemed to be thinking that a lot lately. Who would have thought? Travis and I had been dating for a few weeks and things were fantastic. Travis was new at this whole dating thing, and he was taking things slowly; a little slower than even I would have liked. It was adorable to watch him fumble. Sometimes, he’d say something about a girl he had hooked up with and then he would stutter once he realized he was talking about a random hookup with me and his neck would turn crimson. I might have been jealous had it not been for how uncomfortable he got each time. All I could think about was trying hard not to laugh. Although, the other day I hadn’t succeeded, and a little snort escaped my closed lips.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, still red in the face.

  I had giggled for a little before I calmed down enough to turn to him. “Trav, I know your past. Hell, I was there to witness some of it. Sure, it doesn’t mean I want to talk about a girl who you may or may not have bump and grinded with. So, yeah, try to work on it, but if it bothered me, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

  You’d think I would be more jealous considering my past and my insecurities, but Travis made me feel like I was literally the only girl in the world, even when he brought up someone else. The way he looked at me … whew. I guess, looking back, I saw glimpses of it when we were just friends, but I couldn’t believe it then like I was having a hard time believing now. It also meant that maybe I hadn’t seen things around Brent either, and I couldn’t think of that.

  “God, I love you,” Travis interrupted my thoughts as he leaned in and kissed me with such passion that I thought I might catch fire. But that was pretty much it. We could kiss like nobody’s business, but when things started getting more serious, he would stop, breathe heavily for a few minutes, and then tell me I was special and he needed to go slowly for me. How cliché!

  If I wanted slow, then I would date a minister, not the notorious playboy. Didn’t he realize that? So when he pulled away yet again, I pulled him back and I might have sort of, maybe found my way to grabbing his special place. He gasped and tried to pull away again, but it was a little hard (pun intended) while I was holding on to him.

  “Kim,” he panted.

  “Uh-huh?” I asked, stroking him and pressing light kisses on the edges of his mouth.

  “You need to stop.”

  “Oh, I do? Hmm, I wasn’t thinking about stopping.”

  “Kim, please, you need to stop.” His words were pleading, but he wasn’t making any real effort to move away.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I want you so badly. I think I might explode, and this is not helping.”

  “Funny. Last time I checked, this is exactly what helped,” I teased. It had been a damn long time for me, and Mr. Cuddles wasn’t cutting it these days. Yes, I named my vibrator Mr. Cuddles. It was the jackrabbit, after all. Rabbits made you think of bunnies and bunnies were cute and cuddly.

  “Kim, please.”

  “Yes, exactly, Travis, please.”

  “God, you are killing me.”

  “I am hoping to pleasure you instead.” I tried to make my voice seductive, but there was a hint of teasing there too.

  “Oh, fuck, please don’t say things like that.”

  “Things like what? That I’ve been playing with myself and fantasizing it’s you instead. Or how about that every time I take a shower, my body wet and slick, I imagine you lathering me up. Oh, maybe I shouldn’t tell you how badly I want you inside me.” Well, shit, I was a sex goddess in disguise. Thank you all my romance fiction books for giving me hot steamy words because I highly doubted I was clever or witty enough to come up with those all by myself. Not saying they weren’t true or anything, but to put it in words, yeah, so not clumsy me.

  “Kim,” he breathed.

  “My place or yours, Travis, but no more taking it slow,” I whispered against his lips. Like a man possessed, he nodded slowly, took my hand, and led me to his car. He took me to his place; it was closer, go figure. We weren’t two steps over the threshold before I was pinned against the wall and Travis’ hand was slowly finding its way under my shirt. Uh—even in a lust-filled haze, be sure to check your surroundings. My eyes snapped open at the sound of a throat clearing, and they landed on Travis’ roommate elbowing his friend for probably making said noise. And right beside them was yet another friend. So I was getting mauled by my boyfriend in view of three horny guys with their mouths hanging open and gawking at us like we were live porn. Which I guess we sort of were. Travis must have felt me stiffen under his touch because he started pulling away just as friend number two said, “Don’t mind us. We are enjoying the show.”

  “What the fuck?” Travis whirled around and the look on his face was pretty comical, a mix of confusion and anger.

  “Hi guys,” I squeaked out and gave a sort of half wave, still pressed against the wall. They all said, “Hey,” in unison and waved back. “Uh, maybe I should go home,” I whispered to Travis, and he slowly nodded. If that wasn’t a mood killer, then I didn’t know what would be. But, alas, that was only the first in the misadventures of Travis and Kim attempting to have sex.

  Three
days later, after ensuring with his roommate that Travis was going to be alone for the evening, I decided to take a page right out of a movie and surprise him. Did you know how hard it is to get up the courage to wear a tiny matching bra and underwear set, and nothing else under a large jacket? Yep, I did. Here was something I learned while doing it: it was a bad idea to wear brand new, not broken in yet, six-inch stripper shoes while giddily trying to climb a flight of stairs. I swore there must have been something on the damn step because just two steps shy of Travis’ floor, one minute I was up and practicing my swagger, yes, up the damn stairs, and the next, I was on the floor with my foot twisted and my elbow graciously catching my fall. It was not that much fun having to call your boyfriend and tell him, “Uh, hey … I’m on the stairs outside your door, and I sort of need some help.” At least Travis had the good sense not to laugh. Okay, fine, at least he had the good sense to pretend not to laugh. It was embarrassing having to go to the ER wearing your boyfriend’s way too big sweats and a t-shirt. I was sure the doctor thought we were into some kinky stuff. Either that or he thought Travis was a feisty one, but the amused look didn’t go unnoticed. I had a sprained ankle and elbow. How did you manage to sprain both was beyond me, but then again, we were talking about me. So, that put me out of commission for a week. It was not as if I was going to have weird elbow-in-sling sex as our first time.

  Oh, and then there was that time that Travis fell asleep as I was primping and prepping. Yeah, really made a girl feel special. Oh, how about that time when I got food poisoning that managed to set in right when we started getting hot and heavy. Stupid, stupid cafeteria food. Never eating there again. Oh, who was I kidding? I loved their damn pasta station. And then, as if the universe hated us, I got Mrs. Flow a day early. Seriously, I couldn’t catch a break. We were cursed. Even Mother Nature didn’t want us doing the deed. And the worst part? I couldn’t stop the thoughts of Brent that crept in. Would something like this keep happening if it were Brent and me trying to find time for ourselves? I had no right to be thinking that because 1) it was probably all me and the universe would see that my lady parts went unused regardless of who I was with, 2) it wasn’t fair to Travis, and 3) it was not like there would be anything between Brent and I even if I weren't with Travis. Clearly, Travis had told Brent about his feelings for me, and if Brent had any himself, he would have maybe tried to be with me instead? Or at least confide in Travis too, and then I would know something was up, right?

  Other than that, things between Brent and me were the same as before, great and wonderful, lacking a little something, but that was the usual. When it was all three of us together, Travis and I had some unspoken understanding that we wouldn’t be all lovey dovey in front of Brent, so it was like the Three Stooges, like pre Kivis. No. Hmm, Trim. Yikes. Krav? Oh, God, our names sounded horrible together. Either way, it was Travis and Brent against me, just like before. I made a fool of myself, and they laughed. And things were normal when it was just Brent and me, too. And God help me, but I enjoyed spending time alone with Brent just as much as I enjoyed spending time alone with Travis. I reasoned it was because I was so comfortable with both, and they were both my friends equally. Travis just had kissing rights. And don’t get me wrong, I loved being with Travis. He was unbelievable and caring, and smart, and funny, and so freaking sweet and gentle. And not to mention he was really yummy to look at. I knew I was incredibly lucky to be with him, which was why I was in a constant state of guilt that I still harbored feelings for Brent. They would go away eventually. I just knew they would.

  chapter twenty-seven

  I was a horrible girlfriend. A horrible, horrible girlfriend. I cheated on Travis. Well, not actually cheated on him. I would never, ever do such a thing. But my very vivid dream thought I should be doing the hibbidy dibbidy with Brent instead of Travis, so therefore, I cheated. Subconsciously, sure, but I still felt like an asshole. The thing was it’s not like I didn’t care about Travis or that I cared for Brent more. I loved being with Travis, loved it. And when I was with him, everything else melted away. It was always either me feeling like I had no knees around him or like I was a vixen ready to pounce. That was what he did to me. So then why couldn’t I let go of Brent?

  Oh, and as if dreaming about Brent wasn’t bad enough, I managed to call Travis “Brent” the other day. Thank God it wasn’t while we were making out or anything, but I was trying to get his attention while he watched TV and I randomly called out Brent’s name. Stupid, stupid subconscious. Luckily, Travis didn’t hear me or I would have had to scramble to play it off. He just said, “Huh, babe, what’d you say?” So I went and kissed him to ensure his brain was still a little fuzzy on what exactly I said.

  It didn’t stop me from thinking about all the possible excuses I could have come up with just in case afterward. Wasn’t it funny how after a fight was done, that was when you think of all the clever and witty comebacks? Well, apparently, that was what happened with “oopsie” situations as well.

  “Uh, I forgot I need notes from Brent.”

  “Didn’t Brent say he was going to come over? … Oh, he didn’t, must have misunderstood.”

  “I forgot to call Brent back.”

  Those were all nice, plausible excuses. Of course, my mind wasn’t plausible, so I also came up with a few off the wall excuses, too.

  “Brent, uh, wanted me to buy him ice cream.”

  “Brent got his ass kicked yesterday.”

  “Brent mentioned he wanted a sex change the other day.”

  I snickered at my own stupid thoughts. I also wondered whether any of those would have gotten Travis’ attention just as much as kissing him did. Maybe the sex change one.

  I mentioned I was a horrible girlfriend, right? Well, I dreamed of Brent, I called Travis Brent’s name, and I might have sort of almost kissed Brent, too.

  The good news was I didn’t think Brent realized what I did. Hell, I didn’t fully realize what I almost did.

  Travis had a study group, and Lauren was off with her boyfriend, again. I swear I saw less and less of her. At least she always responded to my texts and frantic phone calls when I needed her. And I knew if I asked her to drop everything for a girl emergency, she would. But sometimes, I missed having a best friend. And that day, I was missing her, and Travis wasn’t around to give me comfort. So, naturally, I sought out Brent. He, being an awesome friend, obliged.

  “Hey, what’s wrong,” Brent had asked sweetly when he saw me. There was nothing particularly wrong. I was just in a mood. But he knew right away there was something off about me, and that warmed my heart a bit.

  “Nothing, nothing, I’m good. Just missed having a quiet evening with a good friend, but now you are here and it’s all good.” I plastered on a smile. I did feel instantly better with Brent around. He didn’t look like he was buying it, but he knew to drop it, so he nodded and stepped inside.

  An hour, too many boxes of Chinese food, and half a bottle of wine for me and three or more beers for Brent later, and we were watching a movie and eating popcorn. It could be borderline date-ish, with my snuggling up to him. When I first put my head on his shoulder, he tensed. Was it wrong to do that? I did it with Lauren all the time. Just because he was the opposite sex shouldn’t matter, right? A friend was a friend. So what if it was a little bit of torture for me? It wasn’t for Brent. And after a minute or so, I felt him loosen up and he even put an arm around me. He probably felt like a brother protecting his sister from the cheesy action movie he had picked out, but it felt nice. I felt safe and comfortable, and apparently, even watching guys kick each others’ asses hadn’t prevented me from falling asleep. I know I woke up at some point because I felt a light caress against my hair, a nice kind, as someone was stroking it. It felt wonderful, but I ended up drifting back off to sleep without even opening my eyes. And then the next thing I knew, I was awake, fully and somehow, my head was on Brent’s lap. At first, I was confused and didn’t understand what was happening, but then I remembered wat
ching the movie and not getting to the end of it. When I looked up at Brent’s face, his head was against the back of the couch and his lips were parted just a bit. His even breaths and the rise and fall of his chest made it apparent he had fallen asleep, too. He couldn’t have been comfortable like that, but he, being the gentleman that he was, probably felt too bad to move me.

  I rose slowly, not wanting to startle him. He stirred a bit but didn’t wake. I had never seen Brent like that. I had never seen him sleep; it was such a vulnerable position for a person. They were at the mercy of those around them. And here he was, asleep on my couch, trusting me with his subconscious mind. He was so beautiful, it almost hurt to look at him, but I couldn’t stop staring. I vaguely remembered the feel of his soft hands running through my hair. I know he had murmured something, but I was too far into dreamland to remember much else.

  It occurred to me that the position we found ourselves in was intimate. This was something I imagined only people who were in some sort of a relationship did. I took a moment to think about how I felt with Brent. Travis made me feel alive, passionate, sexy, and cherished. Brent made me feel safe, comfortable, beautiful, and an angel. They were both different and yet the same.

  Brent’s head moved a little to the side, but his eyes stayed closed and his breathing stayed steady. He couldn’t be okay with that position. So I reached my hand to his cheek, lightly caressing it. I told myself it was because I didn’t want to startle him and that was how my mom used to wake me up from a deep sleep. She said a gentle touch was much sweeter to wake up to than a feeling of an earthquake shaking. And she was always right, but a part of me also wanted to touch him.

  “Mmm, you’re beautiful,” he whispered just as my hand reached his cheek. I stilled. Had he really said what I think he said? Not that he hadn’t complimented my looks before, but in a moment like this, those words meant more. But he was still asleep. He hadn’t said them to me. He was dreaming. The selfish part of me wished it was about me, but I knew it probably wasn’t. It didn’t mean I didn’t pretend it was.