Phi Alpha Pi

by Sara Marks

  “The American Library Association.”

  “Libraries don’t have much money to hire lobbyists,” Chris said.

  “He does more than lobby for them, but he thinks the mission of libraries is critical to a free, democratic, and educated nation. It’s not about the money for him. One of my aunts is an academic librarian, so this is a labor of love for him. It’s his way to help his little sister.”

  At dinner Katherine turned her attention away from Lizbeth to Charlotte. The two talked about Charlotte’s plans for the garden and what she could do this fall to prepare for spring. Lizbeth was placed between Anne, who had very little to say, and Chris, who was happy to chat about their shared interest in social justice. Wil was seated across from Lizbeth and next to Colin. Lizbeth could hear Colin’s endless monologue. Wil was wearing the scowl Lizbeth was used to seeing on him.

  “Are you going to play the piano for us? It is the sign of a well-rounded woman, after all,” Chris said as dinner ended.

  Lizbeth had to laugh. Talking to Chris was like talking to a version of Wil with a sense of humor.

  “Since you asked so nicely, how can I refuse? You should know, I can’t actually play more than Heart and Soul and, maybe, Chopsticks.”

  “Don’t worry,” he said with a smile, “I can’t either.”

  They returned to the living room after the meal. Chris pulled out the bench of the baby grand piano that was too large for the room. He motioned for Lizbeth to join him. She did just that before she started playing one part of Heart and Soul. Chris quickly came in with the other half of the duet. It didn’t take long for him to forget the exact keys to play. With a laugh, Lizbeth changed to Chopsticks, which they both managed to play simultaneously. They laughed as Lizbeth lost her momentum and hit the wrong keys.

  “Anne used to get piano lessons as a kid,” Chris said.

  They had stopped playing and were sitting at the piano hitting random keys. Lizbeth was trying to think of any other songs she could actually play.

  “My parents tried that too, but I have zero musical talent.”

  “You’re much better than you let on,” Wil said.

  Lizbeth looked up to see Wil standing at the far end of the piano.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Lizbeth said.

  “Maybe,” Wil said with a rare smile.

  Lizbeth didn’t know how to react. She had never heard Wil make a joke and couldn’t recall him ever smiling.

  “I came over to be involved in a conversation that wasn’t about summer gardens or the myriad of opportunities my aunt is providing.”

  “Ah, so you’re saying our poor playing is better than an actual conversation?” Lizbeth said. “I am shocked you’re seeking out any conversation. In my experience, you have some disdain for baser company.”

  “What? Wil dislikes baser company?” Chris said. “I suddenly want to know everything about how the two of you know each other.”

  “Your cousin,” Lizbeth said, “typically spends his time at frat parties sober and scowling. Rather than talking to the wide variety of women and men at said parties, he sticks with Caroline and Charlie. If the party is at his own house, he goes to his room and shuts the door to be alone.”

  “William, really? You’re too good for a frat party?” Chris said.

  “When people get drunk, they tend to act foolish. Many of Lizbeth’s sorority sisters have proven that. I often have other things to do,” Wil said.

  “Yet you don’t seek out those who were sober. I’m rarely drunk at these parties and manage to enjoy myself. You never seem to like talking to anyone.”

  “What are the three of you doing?” Katherine said interrupting the conversation from across the room.

  “Nothing, Aunt Katherine. We’re discussing Lizbeth’s lovely playing,” Chris said.

  “Well, if she practiced she would be much better. Lizbeth, do you ride as well as you play?”

  “Horses?”

  “Of course!”

  “Much better.”

  “Good! Colin, the three of you will join us for a ride and picnic tomorrow. All the leftovers will be there and you can enjoy the lovely pond on the other side of the property.”

  ***

  On Friday morning, Lizbeth put on her jeans and was thrilled to be able to use her riding boots for their intended purpose. Having spent so much of her life on the land across the lovely pond, Lizbeth had ridden horses before she could walk. Her grandparents had a stable on their property and Lizbeth was the only girl she knew who asked for a pony and got it. These days she often rode the lovely white mare her grandmother had purchased for her eighteenth birthday. Lizbeth had named the horse Windfola for Eowyn’s horse in Lord of the Rings. She was hoping to get to ride Windfola before she went back to school.

  They arrived at Katherine’s stable to find a variety of horses being saddled. Two were being hitched to an old-fashioned carriage. Anne was sitting inside the carriage, waiting, and the house staff was loading picnic baskets into the back. Today she was wearing a black lace veil and large hat. Lizbeth smiled at Anne and waved hello. Anne returned a small wave, but stopped as soon as Katherine appeared.

  “Colin, Charlotte, you should ride in the carriage with me,” Katherine said directing everyone to their place.

  Charlotte was not fond of horses.

  “Lizbeth, you said you were a good rider so I picked a horse for you,” Katherine said.

  Lizbeth watched as a black Friesian stallion was brought out of the stable.

  “I don’t like your pick, Aunt Katherine. Captain Jack is too wild,” Chris said.

  Lizbeth grabbed an apple from a bag waiting to be loaded into the carriage. She stood to the right of the horse, watched as he stamped his hoofs a few times and waited for him to look her in the eyes. Once he was looking at her, she offered her empty hand and let him watch her walk over. When she was standing next to him, Lizbeth stroked his flank a few times and blew on his nose. When Captain Jack blew back, Lizbeth put the apple in front of his face. She felt his soft lips and tongue on her hand as he took the apple and chewed it. Lizbeth had watched her grandfather train wild horses. Before long she was cooing sweet words into and scratching Captain Jack’s ears.

  “All right, Jack and I are ready to go,” Lizbeth said as she put her foot in the stirrup and lifted herself into the saddle.

  “Jesus Lizbeth, I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,” Chris said with a smile.

  Lizbeth looked at Wil with what she imagined to be a look of self-satisfaction. He was not wearing his normal scowl, but instead looked shocked. She turned to Charlotte and found her friend trying to suppress her laughter. Katherine de Bourgh was left speechless. Women like Katherine were the reason Lizbeth withheld so many details about herself. The more they thought they knew, the more they would try to use it to get their way.

  “Isn’t your friend Caroline an experienced rider, William?” Katherine said when she got over her disappointment.

  “I believe so, but I have never gone riding with her,” Wil said before turning his horse and riding ahead of them.

  Lizbeth rolled her eyes at the mention of Caroline and guided Jack to follow Wil. Lizbeth noticed that Wil had chosen clothes appropriate for riding: black riding boots, blue relaxed-fit jeans, and a light blue plaid button down shirt with a navy sweater. Over that he was wearing a khaki colored, corduroy jacket. Chris was dressed similarly. He rode next to her and they spent most of the ride teasing each other and racing to different points. Lizbeth snuck a few glances at Wil. The scowl had returned to his face. Lizbeth had plenty of practice of ignoring this version of him. She, Wil, and Chris got to the lake ahead of the carriage and let their horses rest.

  “Have you met the people who own the other property?” Chris asked Wil as they looked across the lake.

  “They are an older coupl
e, but his family has owned it since some revolutionary general settled Gardner,” Wil said.

  “Nobody our age over there?”

  “They have horses, but I haven’t been around much to see anything else. They have the most beautiful white mare that nobody seems to ride. I told Katherine to see about buying her, but she said they weren’t interested. The wife has no social filter and was rather blunt about her disdain for her new neighbor,” Wil said.

  Lizbeth said nothing about the family across the pond, but was not surprised. Her grandmother hated people who used social graces to insult you to your face.

  “Anne told me she’d seen teenagers there once,” Chris said.

  “She told me that too, but I haven’t seen any. They’re probably grandchildren.”

  Wil and Chris unloaded the carriage once it arrived and set up the picnic. Lizbeth had finished securing all three horses to a tree when Charlotte came over to her.

  “Be careful,” Lizbeth said.

  Charlotte kept her distance from Jack, but fed carrots to the other two.

  “I have been getting used to the horses since there are so many around. Your grandmother sent me a note to come over if I wanted gentler horses to get used to first.”

  “Did you take her up on the offer? I believe Windfola needs a bit of attention.”

  “Not yet, but I can’t tell Katherine. She wants Windfola.”

  “Wil just said something about that. He asked Katherine to make the offer.”

  “How sweet, he’s fallen in love with your horse too.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing, nothing at all.”

  Lizbeth was confused by the smirk on Charlotte’s face, but wasn’t in the mood to ask.

  “Is Katherine usually like this?” Lizbeth asked.

  “Looking to embarrass people?”

  “Yes.”

  “Only if she thinks she needs to regain the upper hand. You have the attention of her two favorite nephews. They’re fighting over you.”

  “They aren’t fighting over me. Wil can’t stand me.”

  Charlotte shrugged her shoulders before responding.

  “So you say, but that’s not what she sees. You come here and you aren’t as much of a stranger as she thinks you are. Then you claim Chris and Wil’s attention. She tries to make you look like a fool to make the two of them see your flaws, but you keep showing her up. You’re modest about your piano skills. You’re modest about your skill with horses. She wants to take you down. I can’t wait to see her reaction when she learns where you’re going tomorrow.”

  Lizbeth brushed Captain Jack in silence for a moment.

  “Is that why she mentioned Caroline?” Lizbeth asked.

  “Oh, she adores Caroline. She wants Wil and Caroline together.”

  “They’re perfect for each other.”

  “If you say so. Katherine thinks Wil and Caroline are basically a couple, even if they don’t put a label on it.”

  “What do you think?”

  “We can talk about that tonight.”

  Lizbeth had a wonderful time at the picnic. The food was good and the company better than expected. On the ride back, Wil quickly split off from everyone and moved at his own quick pace. Lizbeth and Chris took a more leisurely amble back.

  “I get the impression you and Wil don’t get along very well,” Chris said toward the end of their ride.

  “That would be accurate.”

  “He really is a great guy. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I think you should give him a second chance. When he likes someone, he’s a very loyal friend.”

  “He must be different with people he likes as opposed to those he doesn’t.”

  “I think, aside from being cousins, he’s one of my best friends. His friends can count on him for help and support. Even at school he manages to get his friends out of trouble. He was just telling me a story about it the other night.”

  “Oh, what happened?”

  “Charlie was dating a girl who didn’t seem all that interested in him. People around her seemed to suggest that she was really interested in his money, not him. Wil helped him back away from the relationship without embarrassing anyone. “

  Lizbeth said nothing for a few moments.

  “Are you sure he said Charlie?”

  “Definitely. Caroline asked Wil for his help when Charlie couldn’t see past his own infatuation.”

  Lizbeth took a few deep breaths to keep calm.

  “You know, I’m really tired. I’m going to go back to the stable and then walk back down to the cottage,” Lizbeth said.

  “Oh, okay,” Chris said looking disappointed.

  Lizbeth rode ahead, leaving Jack at the stable with a groom, and walked back to the Collins’ cottage by herself. She sat on the front step and waited for Charlotte and Colin to get back. She was so angry she couldn’t focus. When they got back, Colin went down to the basement to do schoolwork. Charlotte and Lizbeth sat in the kitchen. Lizbeth told Charlotte what she had learned as Charlotte poured them glasses of wine.

  “I was worried this was what had happened,” Charlotte said when Lizbeth was done.

  “Really?”

  “We know Jane. We know how conservative she can be. Other people don’t always see it that way. She smiles a lot, but sometimes that comes off as insincere. Then add Mrs. C to that mix. At the Halloween party, she was in rare form. I can see how Caroline and Wil may have misunderstood Jane’s intentions.”

  “Caroline spent more time with Jane than we did this semester. How could she not understand Jane better?”

  “Let’s be honest about Caroline. She has her own motives. Being here, for a few weeks, has allowed me to understand Caroline better. She wants something very specific for her brother, and I don’t think Jane was that something. You said you weren’t surprised to know Caroline got involved in breaking up Jane and Charlie. Well, your instinct about her seems spot on.”

  “Did you think she had bad intentions?”

  “I never liked her, but I didn’t interact with her often,” Charlotte said.

  Lizbeth poured more wine into their glasses.

  “What does Wil get out of breaking up a couple that just needed more time?” Lizbeth asked.

  “I admit that I don’t understand. Maybe there really is more between Wil and Caroline than we know.”

  “Katherine would like that.”

  “I guess you want to leave tomorrow morning rather than have breakfast at her house.”

  “Do you mind? I’m going to see if Josh can pick me up on his way over.”

  ***

  Lizbeth went to the guest room, packed her things, and called her brother to arrange a pickup for noon the next day.

  At seven am, Charlotte knocked on the door to ask if Lizbeth had changed her mind about breakfast.

  “I’ll be back before you leave. I want to say hi to your brother before you go. There’s bread in the pantry if you want toast,” Charlotte said when Lizbeth declined.

  Lizbeth made herself a light breakfast and was reading at the kitchen table when there was a knock on the door. It was much too early for Josh to be there. She looked out the front window and saw it was a very anxious Wil. He looked a mess, in a black pea coat. She was shocked to see that he was wearing black sweatpants and a maroon Harvard sweatshirt. His hair was a mess, as if he had just woken up and come down to the cottage. He was wearing his normal black Chucks, but no socks.

  “Wil,” Lizbeth said when she opened the door.

  “Can I come in and speak with you?”

  “Um, sure,” Lizbeth stepped back to allow him to enter.

  She led him into the living room and stood facing him, waiting for him to speak. He didn’t say anything as he looked around the room. Lizbeth noticed that he wa
s chewing his finger nails. Lizbeth crossed her arms and waited to see what he wanted.

  “The cottage is lovely. Does Charlotte like it here?”

  “Very much so. I’m surprised at how happy she seems.”

  They stood there in tense silence. Wil kept scanning the room, unable or unwilling to focus on any thing, and chewing on his nails. Lizbeth didn’t know what to say next, but felt anxious to find out what he was so desperate to say to her.

  “I don’t think you came to talk to me about Charlotte’s happiness,” Lizbeth said, trying to get Wil to talk.

  “No, I have not slept very well and I have something I want to say to you before you leave. I had hoped you would be at breakfast, but you did not show up.”

  “Well, you found me, so say what you want and leave.”

  “I can’t resist my feelings anymore. I am in love with you and have been for some time. In spite of everything, I love you. You are not anything like the woman I expected to fall in love with, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t get past my feelings. You are an aggressive, unconnected nobody who holds everyone up to ridiculously high expectations and acts like you’re entitled to everyone’s respect. You are also brilliant, funny, treat most people as if they’re your equal, and stand up for what you want.”

  Lizbeth stood there in shock for a moment. Then Wil moved closer and kissed her. Lizbeth let the kiss go on longer than she should have. When he pulled away from the kiss, she slapped him.

  “What was that for?” Wil asked as he put his hand to his reddening cheek.

  “First, you have no right to kiss me without my consent. Do you really think you’ve wooed me and made me forget everything you’ve done to me and the people I care about?”

  “What have I done that insults you so much?” Wil said as he rubbed his cheek.

  “I heard you, the first night we met. I was in that room and heard what you said to Charlie about me.”

  “What did I say?”

  “That I wasn’t pretty and I was much too aggressive.”

  “I had just met you and you’re very aggressive! You just slapped me for kissing you.”

  “Yet, you’ve never given any indication that your opinion had changed. You’ve been unnecessarily curt and mean to me since then. I would never have interpreted any of your actions and words as your being in love with me. Then there is what you did to Jane, who is like a sister to me. Chris told me how you helped Charlie get out of a relationship with a girl who only wanted his money and didn’t care about him at all. Your actions exposed the sweetest and most loving person I know to pain she didn’t deserve. What did you gain from that? What about Jorge and how he can’t finish school because you have denied him the finances your father promised him? What did he ever do to you other than be someone your father loved?”