Embrace

by Jessica Shirvington

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Griffin moving in. I pushed forward into Malachi’s hold – which hurt like hell – braced my hands on his face and jammed my thumbs into his eyes as hard and fast as I could. It had been one of the first moves Lincoln had taught me. It was enough to distract him and Griffin moved with lightning speed, grabbing hold of Malachi’s free arm, reefing it behind his back at such an awkward angle I heard a snap. Malachi’s eyes went wide and he unclenched his hand from my neck, dropping me to the ground where I gasped like a fish out of water.

  When I looked up, Malachi and Griffin were locked together in combat. A mist surrounded them, a spectrum of glistening colours.

  Griffin had Malachi in a death grip, holding him in some kind of immobilised state. ‘Make your choice, if you have one, and make it fast!’ he ordered.

  Malachi fought against the invisible force holding him. Griffin pulled a long dagger out of a sheath I hadn’t noticed before, hanging from his pants. ‘Will humanity or I’ll return you!’ he yelled.

  ‘I would rather be a rodent in the pits than will humanity upon myself,’ Malachi said with disgust.

  ‘Have it your way.’ Griffin drove the dagger into Malachi, just under his ribs, pointing it towards his heart with unwavering force. He had clearly done this before. A lot. There was no poof, no bang, no melting flesh; Malachi was simply gone. As if he had never existed.

  I stood up, holding a hand around my neck. It was burning, but there would be time for whingeing later. I snuck a quick glance at Lincoln, who looked like he was taking shallow breaths. Alive. Phoenix was still standing, unmoved, expression unchanged. Nice to know he cared.

  Onyx had also remained still throughout the struggle. The exiles standing behind him had moved closer but seemed more tentative now, their eyes fixed on Griffin.

  Onyx cleared his throat and made a tsk tsk sound. ‘Too often they forget, Griffin. You do look so…lacking. It is a cunning mask. It will not help you in the long-run, of course, but for today, as I said, your freedom for my story.’

  ‘No stories.’ Phoenix spoke softly. It sent shivers up my spine. It was a voice not often denied.

  ‘Why don’t we let our little rainbow decide?’ He looked at me and gave a dramatic bow. I gathered I had somehow acquired a new nickname. Just what every girl wants.

  ‘You’ll let them go – both of them – and your lackeys won’t try anything either?’ I said.

  Onyx looked amused at my words. I realised I had made a faux pas by calling all of the exiles his lackeys. The already buzzing tension in the room increased.

  ‘Yes, I will even try to keep it short.’

  Yeah, but I was betting it wouldn’t be sweet. I looked to Griffin. He didn’t seem to have a better suggestion and gave a small shrug. It was up to me.

  ‘Tell your story,’ I said.

  ‘Humans are so predictable, aren’t they, Phoenix?’

  The silence from Phoenix made me nervous, but he was still behind me and I was too afraid to turn my back on Onyx. Griffin remained quiet. I could see him focused on Magda and looking around for any other trouble.

  Onyx sauntered around the room and then began to talk theatrically. ‘Many, many years ago this earth and man were created. There are many opinions as to who or what created them, but that is not today’s story. Man – we can call him Adam, if you like – was given a garden in which to frolic. For a time, it was perfect. Do you know the garden I speak of?’

  ‘Eden. The Garden of Eden. You said a story, not question and answer.’ With my surname, this was a story I had heard more than once.

  He pulled on his tie, straightening it. ‘I did. My apologies. Well, you see, I’m sure you understand that if man were to have free will, then he must have the presence of choice and opposition. Angels, being entrusted with this responsibility, used their powers to create one of their own – a rare angel, for it was a woman. In all ways the opposite to Adam – except that they were both immortal.’ He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

  ‘Eve,’ I said, frustrated. ‘I’ve heard this story before.’

  He smiled at Phoenix. ‘Has she really? I think not. Not Eve, little rainbow; she was created later, during the clean-up. Before her, there was another. Oh, now I can’t seem to remember her name… What was it, Phoenix? Surely you remember?’ His smile widened. He was clearly enjoying himself. I was almost surprised he wasn’t handing out popcorn.

  ‘Lilith.’ Phoenix barely spoke, but again my body shivered like someone had just walked over my grave.

  ‘Yes! Lilith, how could I forget? Well, Lilith was created to bring balance to this unbalanced world. You see, she represented everything opposite to the untainted man, and brought with her all of my favourite things – temptation, lust, seduction, deceit, anger, fear, persuasion; you get the drift. Anyway, Adam was enraged with Lilith when, after a while, she refused to lie beneath him.’ He swept closer to me and whispered like he had a naughty secret to share. ‘Being created as equal opposites did cause a few marital problems. Let’s just say, they bickered – and of course their fights were magnificent. Adam had not yet tasted that pesky apple, so he was just as strong, powerful and immortal as our Lilith.’ He took a deep breath, feigning reminiscence. ‘Finally, Lilith abandoned Adam and the garden, choosing instead to be absorbed into her own darkness. Three angels were sent to return her to Eden. They threatened her, she threatened them, you know; the usual. But she refused to go back.’

  Why this psycho was getting kicks out of telling me a story about some whacked-out angel was beyond me.

  ‘Have you finished your story?’ I said curtly. I tried to keep focused on Onyx so as not to give him the satisfaction of knowing how worried I was about Lincoln. At the same time, I could feel Lincoln growing weaker. It was torment, knowing that every minute this deranged angel kept talking was another minute I couldn’t help him.

  ‘Almost, almost. Where was I? Our Lilith went on to bear many children of dark, all of whom perished in payment for her sins. All but one. Lilith’s first child, the only child conceived with Adam, survived and was an angel…of sorts. The child was taken from her and returned to the angel realm, where he was given a rank, just like all other angels. Of course, he took after his mother and chose the dark. He was made a Throne, a dealer of punishment, and he was very…efficient.’

  My eyes darted over to Lincoln again. He was all I could think about. He still wasn’t moving. When I looked back at Onyx he was right beside me.

  ‘Perhaps, on reflection, it was not the best place to put him. He enjoyed it a little too much. The Seraphim banished him from the angel realm, claiming him to be less than pure, branding him an angel of the abyss. They sent him to his place of creation.’ He slowly pointed a finger to his feet.

  ‘Earth,’ I said, rolling my eyes at him.

  ‘Yes, earth. I wonder… Do you think he walks among us now?’ Onyx gazed around the room, looking happy with himself. ‘It is a quandary, isn’t it? The possible son of man in his most powerful form and the first of the dark exiles. It would be a frightening force, wouldn’t it? Violet?’ He turned his attention back to me, a Cheshire Cat grin on his face so wide it must have hurt. I glanced at Lincoln again. We had no more time for this.

  ‘Lucky it’s just a story.’ I tried to hold his gaze as if I’d been paying attention to his stupid tale, not wanting to let him get the better of me.

  ‘Of course.’ He threw his arms wide. ‘Aren’t they all?’

  He looked back at Phoenix and started to walk towards him. I was finally able to see them both. Like at the warehouse with Griffin, I noticed that there was some movement around Phoenix’s body, a wave of shadowing and something else that looked like tiny threads of gold.

  ‘Things are not as they once were,’ Onyx said to him. And then he just walked out the door, closely followed by the other exiles.

  I turned to Phoenix, a million questions in my head. But one thing was clear – Onyx feared Phoenix. Somehow, him being there
had saved us, and right now that was all that mattered.

  ‘Will he come back?’ I asked Phoenix.

  ‘No,’ he said, showing no emotion.

  Griffin was already with Magda. I ran to Lincoln. He was breathing, but there was blood pouring from his side and he still wasn’t moving. I tried to stop the bleeding with my hands, but they quickly became slippery and I knew I wasn’t helping.

  ‘I…I can’t…the blood, I can’t stop it. No, no…I need help.’ I was rambling and crying to myself.

  A hand reached down holding a bundle of cloth. I looked up. Phoenix had taken off his shirt. I balled it up and put pressure on the wound.

  ‘Linc, can you hear me?’ My voice was so crackly I could barely hear myself. I forced an internal check. I needed to be strong right now. I gently shook his shoulders. ‘Linc!’ I cried. He moved a little and his eyes flickered open.

  ‘Hey,’ he whispered, ‘little rainbow.’ I tried to smile but couldn’t. He was delirious. Why was everyone calling me rainbow?

  Griffin came over, supporting Magda under his arm.

  ‘You’re OK?’ I said, surprised to see her walking.

  ‘Griff healed me.’

  Oh, great, no one told me Griffin could do that. ‘Well,’ I almost screamed, ‘heal Linc, it looks like he’s been stabbed or something.’

  Griffin leaned over and put a hand on my shoulder. ‘I wish I could, but as Grigori we only have the power to heal our partners. I can’t heal Lincoln.’

  ‘Well then, who the hell can?’ I snapped. But the answer was already ringing in my mind.

  ‘You,’ Magda offered, while kneeling on the other side of Lincoln. She was assessing his wounds with much more skill than I had.

  ‘But I’m not a Grigori. I can’t.’ I shook my head.

  ‘You can if you embrace. He’s been stabbed by his own dagger.’ She picked it up off the floor. It was covered in blood. Lincoln’s blood. Lincoln’s blood.

  ‘It can’t be healed with modern medicine. There’s only one way to heal him and you’re it.’ She looked at me, shaking her head, as if sure I would fail him. Perfect.

  Griffin scanned the room. ‘We need to move – we don’t know how many more might be out there. Let’s go.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  ‘Sacrifice still exists everywhere, and everywhere the elect of each generation suffers for the salvation of the rest.’

  Henri Frederic Amiel

  I stood, utterly immobilised in Lincoln’s kitchen. My shirt was now sleeveless. I vaguely remembered Magda ripping off the sleeves to use them as blood mops. What was left of my top was soaked anyway. My hands were stained red and disturbingly sticky as blood congealed between my fingers.

  Phoenix had insisted we come back in a taxi. He wasn’t sure how Lincoln’s injuries would cope moving at his speed. After carrying Lincoln to his room, he and Griffin headed straight back out to get medical supplies. I knew Phoenix was uncomfortable and it wasn’t just the fact that Griffin and Magda had given him a wide berth. Something had happened back at the pier that had him uncharacteristically on edge – but for now, all I could think about was Lincoln.

  Magda had thrown me out of his room, ordering me to clean up and change. She said there was more blood on me than left in him and I wasn’t helping. She was right. I was no help at all. My hands shook as I swallowed some paracetamol with a quivering glass of water.

  The next rational step was to have a shower, but I just stood, frozen. I couldn’t ignore the voice in my head – singing, taunting, teasing – He’s going to die, Violet. We all knew it. Even Lincoln, when he came around briefly in the taxi, had it in his eyes. He knew. They knew. I knew. I knew…what I had to do. Hope and dread vied for attention and I threw myself over the kitchen sink. I vomited until there was nothing left and then some more. My hand grasped at my bruised neck. I relished the pain, found some relief in the brief distraction.

  Lincoln needed me to be strong and I was behaving anything but. It was unacceptable. I could fall apart later, I told myself. Much later. I stumbled to my feet, grappled with the water and swallowed some more paracetamol. Later. Much, much later.

  By the time Phoenix and Griffin returned, carrying with them everything but a hospital bed, I was showered and on the couch wearing a pair of Lincoln’s sweats and one of his T-shirts. I had also managed to make a coffee on the still-sparkling coffee machine sitting in pride of place on the kitchen counter. The coffee machine was about the only thing that was clean. The entire warehouse looked like a disaster site. There were books slung everywhere, the couch had been turned into a makeshift bed, and the kitchen was cluttered with dirty plates and leftover food scraps that couldn’t fit in the overflowing bin. It wasn’t like Lincoln at all.

  ‘Magda’s with him. She needs space.’ I offered my poor excuse before they asked. Right now, knowing where this was all leading, I couldn’t see him.

  I focused on Phoenix. ‘If Grigori powers come from angels, does that mean you have the power to heal too?’

  He looked down and shook his head. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t help you.’

  ‘Few exiles are able to hold onto their abilities to heal when they take human form, Violet,’ Griffin said, putting a duffle bag down on the dining table.

  ‘Why didn’t Lincoln tell me partners could heal each other?’

  ‘He didn’t want you to make your choice based on anything other than what you wanted.’

  I was sure I wasn’t the only one who found that statement ironic. ‘What happens to a Grigori if their partner decides not to embrace?’

  Griffin opened his mouth, but before he could answer I put a hand in the air. ‘Actually, it doesn’t matter.’

  ‘Violet?’

  I nodded. I’d made my choice. ‘We need to talk,’ I said. There was no more time.

  Griffin gave the supplies to Phoenix and asked him to take them to Magda. When Phoenix walked past me, he shot me a look of sympathy. I could tell he was reading my emotions. I turned away.

  Griffin sat at the kitchen bar with a bottle of water. He took a few slow sips, playing with the lid, rolling it through his fingers. ‘You don’t have to do this. He’d never ask it of you – not like this.’

  ‘I know.’

  I joined him at the bar, trying to be brave. ‘We don’t have much time. Tell me what I need to know.’

  ‘It’s a leap. A commitment. You can’t undo this once it’s done, Violet.’

  I ignored him. ‘A leap. Shit, Griffin, that sounds dangerously like a leap of faith.’

  ‘In a way, it is.’

  ‘Well, we’re all royally screwed. Right now I can’t even open my mind to the possibility of there being a god.’

  ‘It’s about faith, Violet, it doesn’t have to be about God. You just need faith.’

  I clenched my jaw and moved on. It still sounded like a damn God thing to me. ‘Fine, where do I leap?’

  ‘There’s a process of declaring yourself. You have to go to the wilderness and remain for one night. There is a mountain to climb with a cliff at the peak. At the first moment of dawn, you jump. From there, the journey is yours. Only one thing is the same for us all. You will go to both light and dark. There is no exception.’

  I took a deep breath. I had to jump off a cliff.

  ‘Does anyone die?’ I wasn’t sure I really wanted the answer, wasn’t sure it would change anything anyway.

  ‘Not that I know of, but some have returned and have been affected…mentally.’

  Great, insanity awaits.

  I looked out the window. It was almost dark. ‘Can I go tonight?’

  ‘Maybe…’ Griffin said, but he didn’t look too sure.

  ‘Maybe?’ I prompted.

  ‘Maybe, if Phoenix could get you there, but we still don’t know him, Violet. Something happened back there with Onyx that we don’t understand yet, and no other exile I’ve ever seen can move as fast as him and…well, you should know, I can’t get a lock on him. I can’t read hi
s truth. That’s never happened before.’

  ‘But you read him at the warehouse.’

  ‘I know. I think he can control it – like opening a door if he wants to. But he can also keep it shut. He seems to be able to do the same thing when we try to sense him. It’s as if sometimes he allows it and other times not. I just have a bad feeling.’

  I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out through tight lips. ‘Stuff your instincts, Griffin. They haven’t really paid off all that well today.’ Any other day I would have been more diplomatic, but as I was learning, life can be a bitch.

  He put both hands on the kitchen bench and dropped his head. ‘You would need to leave now,’ he conceded.

  ‘I’ll take her.’ Phoenix’s voice came quietly from the edge of the kitchen. I wondered how long he’d been listening.

  Griffin took my hands. ‘Lincoln is like a brother to me, but you don’t have to do this. You have to want it for the right reasons.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I half laughed. ‘Reasons are reasons. It stopped being my choice the second he was hurt.’

  ‘A terrible freedom.’ He smiled mournfully and squeezed my hands.

  ‘Yes.’ I barely got the word out. I couldn’t have agreed with him more.

  ‘He’s lucky to have you.’

  I looked over at Phoenix, who had recovered his ever-present equanimity. Despite what anyone might say, he’d been there for me since all of this began. He hadn’t pressured me or forced me to do anything, be anyone. I pulled my hands out of Griffin’s grasp.

  ‘He doesn’t have me.’

  I knew Phoenix would read the resolve in my emotion. I may have lost my choice in this. I may not be able to stand by and let Lincoln die. I may be forever tangled in this twisted reality of angels and Grigori, good and evil – but everything else was mine. I felt foolish to have ever thought Lincoln and I could be together. There had always been something in the way. Now, doing what I was about to do would just ensure there always would be. Grigori partners can never be together.