That was exactly what she disliked about him, actually, and also exactly what she needed: the antithesis of her relationship with David.
She had tried to force herself to focus on Tom’s good qualities, all of which had been apparent from the moment they’d started dating. He was kind and sweet, friendly and a fabulous animal doctor. He loved animals as much as she did, particularly dogs, though she was more of a cat person. He liked to take her out to dinner on Friday nights, and he was good in bed, even if he never matched the fireworks David had been able to set off. She enjoyed spending time with him, doing ordinary things like watching TV and playing cards. She should have felt lucky that he’d asked her to marry him.
Instead of feeling lucky, though, she’d told him that she couldn’t marry him, that she needed time to think about it, that she needed to be absolutely certain before she took such a big step. He’d said that if she couldn’t marry him, then their relationship wasn’t going anywhere and they were through. And that was that.
Every logical part of her brain wanted her to say yes and marry Tom. She could have the life she’d always wanted: a steady stable relationship with a husband who loved her, a white picket fence and a minivan full of kids. But every idiotic, stupid part of her brain told her that was the absolute wrong thing to do, because if she was really honest with herself, as nice as Tom was, he was exactly that. Just nice.
Average.
David was anything but average. David was unique. David rode badass motorcycles, spent his spare time playing with greased-up engines and shiny new weapons, not playing pinochle. David liked classic rock and drank craft beers. Tom liked soft jazz and tonic water. Tom was a veterinarian. David was a demon hunter and an exorcist for a top-secret organization.
But the biggest difference was that Tom loved her as Allsún, the quiet, soft-spoken, human vet tech. David had loved her as Allie, the feisty, fun-loving pixie who battled hell-crawlers on a regular basis.
No. She couldn’t think like that.
“That’s too bad, I guess,” David said, breaking her train of thought.
What the hell did he mean by that? Her hand shot to her hip, and she gave him just a little more attitude than necessary. “Why?”
“Well, I know how much you always wanted to get married and have a family, so it just seems like something that’s not very serious wasn’t going to make you happy, so I guess it’s good that it ended.”
You’re right, I wasn’t very happy. I haven’t been very happy since I was with you. She shook the thought from her head. “I get by just fine. He and I had a good relationship, even if it didn’t end up lasting.”
“That’s good.” A moment of silence passed, and he shifted uncomfortably as if he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. “Umm...so I guess, if you want, you can take the bed for the night and I’ll just stay out here on the sofa.”
“Uh, yeah...sure. That’s fine.”
“I still have some of your clothes here, so you won’t have to swing by your apartment.”
She nearly choked. “You kept all that stuff?” She had to get away and stood to take her empty glass to the sink. Reaching out with her free hand, she silently offered to take his now empty beer bottle. He handed it to her with a quick “thanks,” and she walked into the kitchen.
“I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them. It would’ve felt like I was getting rid of you, and I didn’t want that.”
You’re the one who caused this. “Well, given the situation, I guess I’m lucky you kept everything.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Make yourself at home.” He stood, kicked off his massive biker boots and flopped on to the couch, grabbing the romance novel off the coffee table.
“You look funny reading that.”
“Hmm, you called me a chauvinist earlier, but who’s being sexist now?”
She gave him a half grin. “Ha. Guilty as charged.”
“Do you need anything before I settle into reading? There’s an extra toothbrush in the drawer, if you need it, and you can wear any of my shirts to sleep in if you like.”
“That should be all I need. Thanks. I guess I’ll just, uh...go back into the bedroom now.”
“Feel free to pick something up off the bookshelf in there.” He leaned back on the couch and went back to his book.
A sinking feeling filled her chest as she sulked into the bedroom. She felt so out of place, so wrong, mainly because this had once practically been her home, but now she didn’t feel at home here, didn’t feel as if she had a place. She walked into the bedroom, eyeing the closet that still contained her clothes, the open bathroom door, and... Her heart sank.
There it was, the bed she and David used to sleep in. The bed she would have to sleep in alone now. Goose bumps prickled over her skin, and her breath caught. Anxiety flooded through her. It was all too much: David in the other room and all the memories piling up on her. Her eyes darted to the bedroom window.
What should she do? Should she go down the fire escape? She knew it wasn’t true, but she felt that if she left now, she would be without her light and running from demons for the rest of her life, and that if she stayed she would have to seduce him if she could. As much as she wished it were as easy as telling him the situation, she knew it wasn’t. She couldn’t tell him without risking his safety, and she would never allow that to happen. Not after the threat she’d received.
If she could go back in time, there were so many things she would change about the night they broke up, but especially that. She and David had never kept secrets, but this was one thing he couldn’t know—for both their safety. And yet she wanted—needed—her light back, and the only way she could get it would be to intentionally seduce David without ever letting him know why she was doing it. The emotions it would bring up inside her and the pain it would cause David would be devastating for her, for both of them, but if she wanted to escape the demons chasing her for good, she needed to do it.
Going home to the world of the Fae, the Isle of Apples, where the demons wouldn’t be able to reach her, was her only solution. And yet sleeping with David was the last thing she wanted to do. Or, if she was honest with herself, maybe the first thing. On a physical level she still wanted him just as much as she ever had—more so now, since she’d been without him for so long.
But he’d made it clear that he no longer had an interest in her romantically. Just friends. Sleeping with her would be a result of pure lust on his part, nothing more, but even so, she couldn’t live with the thought of being with him one more time, only to have to give him up again.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she sat down on the edge of the bed, allowing her weight to sink into the mattress. She buried her face in her hands. The smell of David rose from the sheets and filled her nose, her heart. She inhaled deeply. Where had it all gone so wrong?
CHAPTER EIGHT
DAVID REMEMBERED ALLSÚN bouncing into the apartment, piles upon piles of shopping bags slung over her shoulders and hanging from her arms. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his five-foot-tall, hundred-pounds-when-soaking-wet girlfriend buried beneath the overwhelming results of her “retail therapy,” as she called it.
“Do you need any help with that?”
She shook her head as she dumped all the bags on to the large island in the middle of his kitchen. “No, thanks. I think I’ve got it.”
He stood and walked to her side anyway. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he planted a kiss on the top of her head, then her cheek, snaking his kisses down her left arm until finally he reached the large diamond ring on her finger. He held her hand in his, lifting it up to the light. The rays caught on the multifaceted two-carat diamond, sending sparkling rainbow light on to the walls.
He covered his eyes and faked being in pain. “Watch it, Allie. You could blind someone with that thi
ng.”
She laughed and stared at the perfect diamond. “Three months. Can you believe it? In just over three months from now we’ll be walking down the aisle.” She grinned from ear to ear. “Mrs. David Aronowitz. I like the sound of that.”
He smiled. “I’m so glad you decided to take my last name. You know it will make my grandmother ecstatic.”
Allsún ducked out of his hold, an easy move for her, considering the top of her head reached only to his chest. She dug inside one of the shopping bags, searching through its contents. “You know I could never do anything to displease your grandma. Not after she’s treated me like one of her own for all these years.”
David flashed a small smile, before heading back to the couch.
“I have something to show you,” she said, once he’d flopped on to the sofa again.
He picked up the Dogfish he’d been drinking and took a swig. “Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
A mischievous look crossed Allsún’s face. “Close your eyes.”
He leaned farther back into the sofa. “Do I have to?”
She gave him a stern look, her lips pursing into an adorably perfect pucker. “Yes. If you don’t, I’ll be heartbroken.” She laughed.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah, I’m sure I’ll completely break your heart.”
She stomped her foot, though the smile remained on her face. “Seriously, David. Close your eyes.”
He sighed. “Sure, sure.” He closed his eyes, relaxing back into the cushions. The sound of rustling shopping bags filled his ears before he heard Allsún’s light footsteps pad across the carpet.
“You ready?” she said, excitement filling her voice.
He nodded.
“Okay, then open your eyes.”
David opened his eyes and stared at the small items in Allsún hands. A single pair of little girl’s boots sat in the middle of her extended palms. Pink stitching lined the little black boots. The tops sported a ring of black fringe.
He opened his mouth to ask her what in the world she was doing with a pair of baby shoes, but she quickly interrupted him.
“Shelley from work bought them for us. Aren’t they so adorable? We were talking at lunch the other day about the wedding, and I told her that I’ve always dreamed of having a daughter. So she brought these into work today for me. She said she didn’t know whether we planned on having kids soon, or whether we’d have a daughter at some point, but she was out shopping for her niece and just couldn’t resist getting them because they made her think of me. They look just like that pair of boots I wore to the Christmas party a few weeks ago. Just black instead of brown, you know?”
She pushed the boots toward him until he took them from her hands as she continued chattering. He could listen to her voice for hours on end, but he had something he needed to say.
“So it got me thinking about us settling down, you know, what with the wedding being so soon and all, and—”
“Allie,” he said.
She didn’t hear him and continued with what she was saying. “I don’t know whether I want to stay living here directly in the city if we start a family and—”
“Allie,” he interrupted her again, raising his voice slightly so she would hear him.
She stopped and met his gaze. “Yeah?”
He cleared his throat and tore his gaze from hers. “We’ve talked about this before, Allie, and the more I think about it, the more I think kids aren’t a possibility.” He saw the light fade from her eyes and the grin slip from her lips.
“You’ve always known I want lots of kids. This isn’t new news. I—”
David shook his head. “I just think we need to sit down together and reevaluate whether or not kids would be a logical choice for us, given our careers.”
Allsún blinked several times. “Our careers? For fucking Morgana’s sake! I’m a vet tech. How would that stop us from having children?”
David fixed her with a hard stare. “You know that’s not the career I’m talking about.”
She stared at him, mouth open in disbelief as if she didn’t understand what he was saying.
“Demons, Allie. Demons. We both hunt demons. How can we have kids and knowingly place them at risk? If we had children together, you know demons would be after them from before they were even born.”
Allsún crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “David, we already talked about this. We don’t have to hunt demons for the rest of our lives. Why should the burden be placed solely on us to protect the rest of humanity? There are others out there protecting the public. Why can’t we have a little slice of happiness?”
David sat up straighter and leaned his elbows on his knees. “You know why, Allie. There’s a reason we were born with the gifts we have. We’re meant to use them. It would be selfish of us not to do whatever we can to save others.”
She gaped at him. “Selfish? Are you calling me selfish?”
“That’s not what I meant. What I mean is—”
“No.” She pointed a finger at him accusingly. “What you said was perfectly clear. You think it’s selfish of me to want to marry you and settle down and have a happy family out in the suburbs. Everyone else gets a white picket fence if they want one, but I can’t. I have to be saddled with being half human, but yet I get none of the benefits of that? What’s wrong with us chasing our own happiness? Haven’t we done enough for the world already? We’ve been hunting demons together since we were in high school.”
“I know. It’s not fair, but that’s how it is. The demons are never going to stop. They’re always going to keep possessing people, keep using them and riding their bodies until they’re dead. Nothing but an empty shell left behind. We can’t let them do that, Allsún.”
She shook her head and tore her gaze away from him. “I can’t believe you, David. You know what this is? You’re letting the recruiters from that stupid Execution Underground organization go to your head. You’ve had dreams your whole life. You’ve always wanted to do something big, live a life worth living, and now these guys come along and you get it in your head that you’re not allowed to have an ounce of happiness. All because you were born with a ‘gift’ that you never even chose. There are other people out there with the same abilities—other people who can fight the demons. Leave it to people who actually want to join the Execution Underground. They can handle it.”
David couldn’t believe she didn’t see his point. The Execution Underground was right. He couldn’t turn his back and leave innocent people to die. “My abilities are rare, and you know it.”
Allsún walked over to the island and began unpacking the items from her shopping trip, placing them on the counter a little more forcefully than necessary. “You want to tell me about rare? I’m the only freaking faerie left in this dimension, David. How’s that for rare?”
He clenched his teeth and fought to keep calm. He wasn’t angry at her. He was angry at their situation, that they’d been dealt a shitty card in life, one that left them with this burden. How could he blame her for wanting a normal life? Hell, he wanted that, too. But how could she not see that he would never be able to live with himself, knowing that innocent people were being hurt, dying, families were being ripped apart by demon possession, when he could be out there preventing it, doing something about it? Most people’s greatest achievement in life was building up a worthwhile 401k and retiring happy, but he had a chance to really make a difference. His ability was the card God had dealt him, and he could do something with it.
He moved to stand across from her at the island. “That’s all the more reason you should be able to see where I’m coming from. I can’t just ignore the lives of others, Allie.”
“Yet you can ignore mine. What about me? What about what I want out of life? I’m going to be your wife, David. Regardless of whether you think it sounds
selfish or not, you have to be willing to put me first, before everything. You won’t be able to do that if you’re too busy saving the world every day. You don’t have to be a hero. Screw fate. Make your own damn destiny. Practice some free will.”
“I have,” he said. “I’ve made my choice.”
Allsún stopped what she was doing and glanced up at him. “What do you mean?”
David inhaled a deep breath. He knew she wouldn’t be happy about this, but all he could do was hope that she would support his decision in the end. He cleared his throat. “I have something to show you.”
Her eyes widened as she watched him in silence. Slowly he turned around. Gripping the hem of his shirt, he pulled the black muscle tee over his head and tossed it aside.
Allsún gasped. He couldn’t imagine the look on her face at that moment. Her eyes were probably trailing the edges of the dark black tribal tattoo ringed with slightly swollen red skin from the freshness of the artwork. The symbol that openly labeled him as an active member of the Execution Underground. Sure, he wasn’t a full member yet. He’d just finally agreed to go into training, but once you signed with the Execution Underground, you were with them for life. You didn’t give up on training or decide it was too much. Only the most elite men were chosen to join, and none of those men were quitters. It had been a major decision, but ultimately, one he knew he had to make.
With the resources the Execution Underground provided and the training they would give him, he would be able to hunt demons more successfully than ever, hone his abilities to near perfection. Not to mention that the generous pay would allow him to hunt demons full-time, saving people, while still helping to provide Allsún with the life he knew she deserved.
Sure, they might not be able to have everything they ever wanted—mainly children, because he couldn’t bear the thought of placing any child in potential danger—but they would live comfortably. Allsún could continue working as a veterinary technician and care for all the animals she wanted to without having to worry about how much money she was or wasn’t making. Lord knew, her heart was big enough that she wanted to take in every stray out there, and hell, he would happily let her if that would bring her joy. They could have the perfect life while also knowing they were creating a difference in other people’s lives with the sacrifices they were making.
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