The Fire of Life

by Hilary Wilde

  she was running away, unable to answer the question. He was right and yet he was wrong. She had not come here because she wanted to meet Cary, that was for sure. She had honestly come in the hope that she would find out what she really wanted to do . . . but was that the truth? she asked herself as she hurried to her room. She had come out to, as Burt had said, prove herself. Prove that she-could do something to make her father proud of her; prove that she wasn't a moron!

  It didn't take her long to change into the khaki trews and thin matching shirt she had recently bought in the town, that was not really so far away, once you had accepted Africa's standards where you thought nothing of driving ninety miles to meet someone.. Then she went out on to the screened

  stoep

  She stood very still, looking at the beautiful view before her. The distant mountains, now a strange greyish green as the sun shone on them. The trees were so straight, reminding her of soldiers-on parade. How 'beautiful it all was, she thought. How could she bear to leave it? To go back to city life, to the noise and the mad rushing of cars which seemed determined to be lethal in their behaviour. Here it was so peaceful, lovely. Just look at the fascinating colours! Lines of freshly-red land where it had been ploughed. And closer to the house, the slow reluctantly-moving river. Odd, but she never thought of crocodiles these days. Somehow she had unconsciously adapted herself to this new life.

  A tiny lizard scuttled across the floor and up the wall. She watched it, fascinated by its movements.

  How wonderful to be able to run up a straight wall like that! She looked back at the garden with the great bushes, heavily laden with bright red and yellow flowers while the little birds with their long curving beaks, hovered over them, seeking for pollen, moving like miniature helicopters. It was all so lovely . . . how could she bear to leave it?

  Her eyes stung warningly and she pressed her hand against her mouth as she fought the tears she mustn't shed. She would have to go, she knew that. Beyond shadow of doubt, she would have to go eventually. Eventually? And what did that mean? Was Cary's question about her thesis a gentle hint that he wanted her to go?

  But how could she go?

  And the thesis? Did Cary believe it was all made up as Burt so obviously did, and Christine and Daphne, too?

  The thesis must be written. It had to be written, Rayanne told herself sternly. It was time she pulled herself together. That very night she would do a skeleton draft of what it was to be about. Maybe Cary was right and the day ahead of them would help her know what to concentrate on. There was so much . . .

  Someone banged on the door and Burt shouted: ' Aren't you ready yet? We don't want our heads chopped off because we're late.'

  "I'm coming,' Rayanne called. ' Coming right now! ' Hastily she grabbed her powder compact and studied her eyes anxiously. No, thanks be, there was no evidence of the tears she had so nearly shed.

  She hurried out to join him and Mrs Jefferson was hovering.

  ' You did promise, Rayanne,' she said anxiously. ' You will be careful?'

  Impulsively Rayanne kissed her. ' Of course I will,' she promised. How lovely it was to have someone who cared, she thought.

  Bumping along the earth road in the Land Rover, she glanced at Burt. I do wish I could drive.'

  He smiled. I'll teach you.'

  You would?' she said eagerly.

  Why not? We'll get out of the Reserve as we can't risk stalling. the engine if a huge angry elephant came chasing us.' He chuckled. You want to learn?'

  Oh, so badly! ' Her voice was earnest. ' I couldn't learn from everyone.'

  You feel you could learn from me?' He glanced at her and she looked back at his kind face, his thoughtful eyes.

  Yes,' she told him, I could. You'd be patient and understanding.'

  What about Cary?' Burt's voice was suddenly harsh. Could you learn from him?'

  Rayanne hesitated, twisting her fingers together, glancing at them to avoid looking at the man by her side.

  I don't know,' she said slowly. I never feel

  quite at ease with Cary. He changes his mood so suddenly. One moment I'm relaxed and we're getting on well, the next moment he's quite different —pompous, even cold.' She gave a little laugh.

  How disloyal of me when he's been so kind and

  generous. All the same . . .' she gave Burt a quick smile and then wished she hadn't, for she saw the hope in his eyes, ' I'd rather learn from you.'

  Good enough ! ' Burt sounded almost triumphant. Look . . .' He pointed to a group of wildebeest who were standing, staring at them. How

  long . . how much longer will you be here?' he asked suddenly.

  As this was a question she had been asking herself, Rayanne should have known the answer, she thought, but she didn't.

  I haven't a clue,' she said honestly.

  She turned away, looking at the veld with its strange umbrella-shaped trees, the groups of bushes and the glimpses of wild animals that she saw now as quite normal, no longer getting wildly excited when she saw a cheetah or a wildebeest.

  How long were you invited for?' Burt, deftly driving round a rut in the earth road, asked.

  . No time was mentioned. I was asked to come

  and stay to give me the chance to study wild life conservation. I imagine I can stay as long as I

  .like,' she said, her voice worried. So Mrs Jefferson

  says.'

  But Mrs Jefferson isn't the real boss,' Burt pointed out.

  He swerved as a warthog ran across the road, and slowed up as the family followed, a wife, and several small ones, all with their little tails pointed up skywards.

  How long are you staying?' Rayanne asked. He shrugged. Any moment now I must go.

  I've several jobs waiting for me and I can't postpone

  them for ever. I've got my notes and photographs and when I've put the lot together, I'll send it to Cary to see if he'll write a foreword for it.'

  ' I'll miss you,' Rayanne said impulsively, and again wished she hadn't, for Burt turned and gave her such a sweet smile that she felt absolutely mean. It was cruel to let him think she felt more for him than just affection.

  Ahead of them was the game warden's fenced-in house. There were several Rovers and big trucks with crates on them waiting. Burt parked his Rover and they went into the house. Cary was standing drinking coffee, he looked at them and gave a casual nod.

  Rayanne stared at him. How handsome he was, so tall and straight, so lean and strong. Somehow his khaki shirt and trousers made him look even more handsome, as did the big hat he had perched on the back of his head. As if he could read her thoughts, he lifted it off, gave her a grin and tossed the hat on the table.

  Come and meet everyone, Ray . . . and Burt, too, of course,' he said. His arm lightly round Rayanne's shoulders, he took her round the room, introducing her.

  There were so many names it was useless to try to remember them all, Rayanne decided. The biologist who would do the shooting was a tall, big-built man with greying hair and a sunburned skin. His son, Keith Bilkington, was with him. Then there were several vets and game catchers, who apparently went from reserve to reserve when needed. There was a lot of noise as the room was

  not large and there were many of them, but Cary seemed to go out of his way to look after her, getting her coffee, and even a chair. Then he looked down at her.

  You're coming with me. Okay?'

  She nodded. ' Okay.'

  I thought it would be best,' Cary said, as my mother is so anxious about you.'

  Rayanne's mouth twisted a little wryly. ' Very thoughtful of you, I'm sure.'

  You'll excuse me if I mix a bit? I want to talk to Dr Bilkington.'

  ' Of course.' Sipping the hot strong coffee, Rayanne looked around. But was making notes of something the biologist, Paul Bilkington, was telling him. Then Keith, the son, came and squatted on the ground by Rayanne's side.

  How come a dolly like you is here?' he asked, with a grin. A friendly pleasant boy, she thought at onc
e, about her own age.

  I'm supposed to be writing a thesis on wild life conservation.'

  He whistled softly. So with good looks, brains

  do go too, sometimes. How is the thesis going?'

  Not very well,' Rayanne admitted. ' You see, I came as a sceptic, feeling the money spent on all this should be spent on starving people. I'm still not sure how I really feel about it, but I'm beginning to realise the importance of conservation.'

  ' Keith, with his short blond hair and suntanned skin, chuckled.

  Well, I bet you have it all stuffed down your throat. I reckon Jefferson never talks of anything

  else.'

  Oh, he does,' she said quickly, and saw the grin on Keith's face. ` Sometimes,' she added.

  ‘` Well, he'd have to be a bit of a fool never to talk of anything else to someone dishy as you. Who are you driving with? I'm afraid I can't ask you as I'm going with Dad. We're doing the shooting, you see. The others do the manual work.' He laughed. Sooner them than me! One thing, the hippos are so dopey you can make them do almost anything. Oh, Dad's waving at me, so we've to get going.' He smiled at Rayanne. ` Nice to have met you. Didn't expect such a dolly in the bush. Maybe we'll meet again?'

  ` Maybe,' said Rayanne, suddenly realising just what a boy he was! Funny how much more mature girls in their early twenties were than men. She much preferred older men, men in their thirties, like Cary . . .

  Cary ! If only she had never met Cary . . . the heartbreak that she knew lay ahead of her was really frightening. Wasn't she being a fool, she asked herself, to stay on? Surely the longer she was near him, the harder it would be to go? Yet she dreaded the thought of leaving.

  Ray ! ' Cary called. ` Ready?'

  ` Ready! ' she called back, and hurried to his side. Walking to the Rover, he told her briefly what was going to happen.

  We round up the herds and seek out the ones we want. Dr Bilkington is our adviser as well as shooter. He'll go ahead. Then we race after the sleepy animals and when they really collapse, the

  Africans can handle them, with our aid, of course. The vets will give each animal a quick examination, because we don't want to cart off sick ones.'

  ' Why are they being shipped to England?'

  Because there's always the danger that some disease will come along or something happen so that they all die or get killed and no longer exist. We're sending animals to zoos all over the world to ensure that they're not wiped out.'

  In the Rover both were silent as they drove out of the fenced-in garden and were in the reserve. There was one Rover ahead . . . that must 'be Dr Bilkington and Keith, his son.

  What did you think of young Bilkington?' Cary asked. ' I saw him talking to you.'

  She laughed. He was paying me idiotic compliments. He must be mad to think I believed them even for a moment.'

  What sort of compliments?'

  Well . . .' She hesitated, rather immature. Kept calling me a dolly . . . oh, and he told me I was dishy and . . . I remember now, he said that

  so with good looks, brains do go too, sometimes.

  Cheeky, that's what he was,' she said scornfully.

  ' Would you have preferred it had he told you that he found you a real old bag? Hideous, dumb, and dull?' Cary asked gravely.

  Bumping about in the Rover, Rayanne looked at him. She saw he was trying not to laugh. Suddenly she was laughing and he turned to look at her, obviously glad he could laugh now.

  Of course I didn't,' she managed to say.

  Cary shrugged. Let's face it, Ray, you're a

  difficult person. One hesitates to approach you in case one says the wrong thing.'

  I'm difficult? Why, it's .. Rayanne began,

  and stopped, for Cary was laughing again.

  Never,' he said, never in my life have I known a girl like you. One only has to open one's mouth and you're on the offensive, or perhaps I should say the defensive.'

  I am . . .' she began indignantly and again stopped, frowning as she looked at him. Am I?'

  Are you? That's no lie,' he said, and swung off the earth road, the Rover bumping over the veld, brushing by the large bushes that seemed determined to mass together and stop them from moving.

  Now the Rovers had separated as if searching for something. There was a two-way radio that occasionally produced a voice, saying the hippos had not yet been found.

  It's ridiculous,' Cary said impatiently. I sent

  guides out at dawn to trace them and they said there were several herds here.'

  Ahead of them a herd of enormous elephants were making their slow way to a small dam. Cary slowed up and then one of the elephants turned his head in their direction, slowly swinging his trunk, his eyes thoughtful or—so they seemed to' Rayanne—rather ominously thoughtful, she decided, his great ears went back. He stood still, staring at the Rover that had come to a halt, and suddenly the elephant let out a dreadful scream.

  Cary got into reverse and the Rover leapt backwards as he twisted and turned the steering wheel, guiding them through the mass of bushes.

  The elephant began to move as if to follow them, swinging his trunk, then seemed to change his mind, almost shrugging his shoulders and following the other elephants who had taken no notice of what he was doing.

  Rayanne felt her whole body relaxing. Cary went on reversing, his body turned round as he deftly guided the Rover through the bushes. Finally he slowed up and stopped. Then he spoke into the two-way radio, advising the other drivers of the enraged elephant.

  ' May be injured,' he said. ' Reckon young' Wallace could cope. He's got a crossbow with him, only it might mess things up if the elephant goes. berserk.'

  An answer came back from Dick Wallace and Cary turned finally to Rayanne.

  '

  Well?' he asked cheerfully. ' Hope you weren't too scared.'

  ' Scared?' She tried to laugh, but even her voice was unsteady. Never had she been so terrified in her life—that great huge 'creature screaming his hatred of them, moving threateningly towards them. He could have smashed the Rover and everything in it almost in seconds.

  ' You'll get used to it,' Cary said cheerfully, manoeuvring the Rover around. ' So long as the car doesn't stall, you're okay. Ah! '

  A message came over the radio. The hippos had been traced. Directions were given as to how to get to them.

  Cary nodded happily. ' Now we go slowly until we see them . .

  ' Why?'

  ' We don't want them racing off before we're there. You wouldn't like to back out, Ray?' he asked suddenly. You're very white.'

  She turned quickly to look at him. I bet you

  were the first time an elephant screamed at you: Of course I don't want to back. out. I'm enjoying this . . . it's . . . it's . . . well, it's different,' she finished lamely.

  I'll say! Very different from your safe little life in London.'

  Safe? With all that traffic?' Rayanne laughed. It's not different in that way.'

  Sure you feel safe with me?' Cary asked suddenly. You wouldn't have preferred to go with Burt?'

  Of course I feel safe with you.' Puzzled, Rayanne stared at him. How he liked to throw unexpected questions at her, she thought. ' Why should I prefer to be with Burt?'

  ' I just wondered. You seem to rather fancy him,' Cary said casually, looking at his watch and frowning. You've quite got my poor mother worried about it.'

  Why should she worry?'

  Cary chuckled. Well, as you know she's decided that you're to be my bride.'

  What absolute nonsense! ' Rayanne's cheeks burned, her eyes flashed, her hands clenched. Just how much more of this could she stand? she asked herself. ' As if I'd marry you if you asked me! ' she said angrily, for attack was the best defence, her father had once said.

  Cary laughed. Wouldn't you?' he asked, and suddenly the Rover shot forward, causing Rayanne to slide down the seat bumping into him. ' Steady on,' he warned. No time for battles, now . . . there are the hippos! '

  The rest of
the day was too exciting for Rayanne to have time to feel furious with Cary for what he had said. They had rounded the hippos and Dr Bilkington had doped the one he advised, the hippo had raced away, but slowly his or her running had slowed until finally it was a sort of drunken walk, with frequent stumbles and a final collapse. Then the veterinary surgeons had got to work, examining the animal quickly, passing him or her or saying they did not advise it. The little wound was treated with a disinfectant and those allowed to go back to freedom were given another injection which, with amazing speed, brought them back to normal. Meanwhile the staff were driving, slowly and with patience, the huge ungainly chosen animals into the trucks.

  Later Cary drove Rayanne to see the elephant that had taken a dislike to them. He was lying on his side, still unconscious, with Dick `Wallace working on him. The elephant was obviously badly injured.

  ' Not to worry,' Dick Wallace said, seeing Rayanne's look of dismay. ' It's fortunate you saw him and we found him! He must have been in terrible pain, no wonder he hated everyone he saw.'

  Will you be able to cure him?' Rayanne asked. Dick Wallace shrugged. I reckon so. These are tough creatures, but I'm taking him back with

  '

  me and keeping him under sedation to make sure the wounds heal.'

  It was a long tiring day and as Cary drove her home, Rayanne yawned. Cary, who had been rather silent, looked at her.

  Well, was it worth while?'

  She smiled in the middle of another yawn. ' It was absolutely marvellous.' She yawned. ' I'm sorry about this, but I am sleepy, I'm afraid.'

  A hot bath and an early night,' Cary suggested. ' By the way, I hope this will have helped your work on your thesis. You don't seem to be getting on with it.'

  Rayanne caught her breath. Was this another hint that she was not wanted?

  I'm getting on with it all right,' she said quickly, though she knew it was a lie. I've got copious notes. It's just a matter . .

  Of knowing from which angle to write,' Cary mimicked her voice. You've told me that before. Well, has today given you that angle?'