Holding Out For Love (Windswept Bay Book 5)

by Debra Clopton

  And she’d thought she’d hidden it so well. She sniffed. “I’m fine.”

  “We are not blind,” Shar snapped. “So stop with that nonsense. We love you and want to help.”

  Superwoman to the rescue, Jillian thought, looking at her dark-haired sister, who was giving her a sharp glare loaded with concern.

  Olivia gave Shar a back-off glare and then knelt in front of Jillian. “She’s just concerned for you. We all are. We saw you kissing Ryan, and we were so excited. The two of you were having so much fun all day and then you went to the beach with him.”

  “And came back without him.” Cali sat on the edge of the chair beside Jillian.

  Shar remained standing. “What on earth happened? Did you tell him you needed him to father a baby for you?”

  It was Jillian’s turn to glare at Shar. “I—” was all she could say and then she teared up again.

  “You did.” Shar gasped and Cali and Olivia did too. “You really got up the nerve and asked him? I can’t believe it.”

  Jillian sniffed. “Well, I did.” She sniffed harder and fought not to cry again but the tears rolled out of her eyes.

  “And he turned you down,” Cali said. “You were right—it is a hard situation to put a man in. I’m so sorry, honey.”

  “Come on, don’t cry,” Shar said, tearing up too.

  “He didn’t say no,” she whispered. “He told me he loved me and then I told him I might not be able to have a baby and if I could, it needed to happen quick. And almost before I could get the words out, he asked me to marry him. He is the most wonderful man.”

  “Okay, so we should be celebrating.”

  “I told him no.”

  “You what?” Shar asked. “But you love him. You said you did.”

  She nodded. “And that’s why I said no. I can’t do it.”

  All of her sisters’ expressions were stunned.

  “No, I guess you couldn’t say yes.” Cali took her hand. “You wouldn’t be able to let yourself do that.”

  Jillian dried her eyes. “I couldn’t. He offered. He said he loved me and that it wasn’t too quick. He said all the right things…but I want him to have everything he deserves. I could never live with myself if I married him and then couldn’t give him a baby.”

  “But, honey, you can adopt,” Olivia said.

  “That’s right,” Shar agreed. “So I just don’t get this. Marry the man, for crying out loud.”

  Exasperation had Jillian pushing out of the chair to separate herself from her sisters. “This is complicated. Don’t lecture me, Shar. I love you but I can’t marry him and then fear that he may have regrets one day.”

  Shar crossed her arms and Jillian could tell she had more to say but she held it in. “It’s your life,” was all she said.

  “So that’s it.” Cali looked conflicted too.

  “Yes. I’ve had my cry and I’m going to be okay. I have options. They just don’t include a man.”

  Olivia frowned. “I don’t like it.”

  Jillian smiled, and knew they couldn’t understand. She didn’t totally. She just knew that saying yes to Ryan’s proposal just wasn’t right for her. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.”

  She hoped…

  “So when do I start?”

  Levi looked up from his desk the next morning as Ryan entered the office and sprawled in the empty chair across the desk from him.

  “If this means you’re taking me up on my offer, then you can start yesterday.” Levi stood, reached across the table and held out his hand. “I am so glad to have you on board.”

  Ryan leaned forward and took his friend’s firm grasp. “I’m glad to be on board too. So, really, when do I start?”

  Levi sank back into his chair and studied him with speculation. “You, my friend, look terrible. What’s going on?”

  “I’m here for the job, Levi. Not for reports on my looks.”

  “Grumpy and terrible-looking. Where did you go yesterday? I saw you and my sister walk off and you never showed back up. Is something wrong between you two?”

  “What makes you think there is something between us? Because I also don’t need my boss dipping into my personal life.”

  Levi’s eyes narrowed. “For your information, I make it my business to know what’s going on and I’ve got informants all over the place. Did you have fun floating the lagoon after hours? You think I don’t know you’ve got a thing for Jillian? And you did kiss her yesterday. Or did you forget that?”

  He should have known Levi would have his fingers tapped into everything. And he had kissed Jillian right out in front of everyone in the heat of the moment. He’d known during the apple bobbing that he loved Jillian. It had been so simple. It was as if when he’d looked up from that tub with water dripping down his face and saw the pure delight on her face, everything clicked in his heart. Stunned, he’d joined Levi in the obstacle course and everything had become clear to him as they’d fought their way to the finish line.

  “So, do you have a problem with it?” He needed to be here and contribute to the town he’d always loved with the woman he had realized he loved. He just had to get her to admit she loved him. Had he rushed her?

  “I know you, Ryan. You’re a good man. But it comes down to what Jillian wants.”

  Ryan leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. “I wish you’d told me she was having such a serious problem. Not knowing if she’ll be able to conceive a baby has to be killing—”

  “Jillian can’t have a baby?” Levi’s eagle eyes slammed him. “What are you talking about?”

  Ryan slapped his forehead. “You didn’t know?” He groaned.

  “No, I didn’t.” Levi leaned back in his chair, devastation etched on his face, just as it was in Ryan’s heart. “Jillian has always wanted children. This must be killing her.”

  “Yeah, but she didn’t accept my offer of help—”

  “Your what?” Levi growled. “At a time like this, she doesn’t need a proposition—”

  “I did not proposition your sister. I proposed.”

  Levi’s eyes flared. “You what?”

  “Have you not been listening to me?” Ryan stood. “I told you I love Jillian.”

  “You didn’t say anything about love. You kissed her and I assumed there was something happening between you but you didn’t say you loved her.”

  “Well, I do.” Ryan paced the small office and then paused. “But she thinks I asked her to marry me just to help her have a baby. That’s just not true.”

  Levi moved to the coffee pot. “How about a cup of coffee?” He poured a cup and held it out to Ryan even though he hadn’t said he wanted any.

  Ryan took it. “How am I going to fix this?”

  His longtime friend poured himself a cup of coffee and took a cautious drink. “With time. And the old-fashioned way. You pursue her until she tells you to get lost or until she agrees to marry you.”

  “But that’s just it—she says every day that passes limits her chances of being able to have a baby. Time isn’t on her side.”

  “And she is well aware of that. You know Jillian—she is cautious and patient. She might think about jumping into marriage for the sake of a child but I seriously doubt she could go through with it.”

  He knew it was true. “So where does that leave me?”

  “It leaves you with time to get your business reorganized and get settled back here for good. If Jillian loves you, she’ll come around. It’s Friday. You’ll start here on Wednesday. Does that give you time enough to take care of everything and get back here?”

  “Yeah. Jax is back and I hate to tell him but I’m not his man for running the lagoon business. I’m a cop.”

  Levi nodded. “Yes, you are. I didn’t ever think that gig was going to go over for you. Now get your life in order and get back here. Your hometown needs you.”

  That was good to know. But as Ryan left the building, he wondered whether Jillian did.

  Ch
apter Eleven

  The two weeks after Thanksgiving were blessedly busy at the resort, with Christmas coming and three weddings on the beach booked, and one larger, formal wedding booked for the inside ballroom. It had them all busy and gave Jillian less time to think about herself and to do her job. Not only did she have to help organize, she was in charge of the flowers. Blair was her right-hand woman on these projects and indispensable.

  Especially for the formal wedding, which required more attention on the ballroom because it lacked the view of the outside. Jillian loved bringing the ideas of the brides to life, though, and she threw herself into the wedding. She and Blair had already met earlier in the week with the bride and her mother but were meeting again today.

  “I’ve never seen a bride more nervous than Darlene,” Blair whispered to Jillian.

  “She’s going to get an ulcer,” Jillian said sympathetically as she watched the mother and bride at the opposite end of the room having a hushed discussion. Jillian had a feeling the mother was trying to get her daughter to make up her mind. They’d had the flowers decided on and then they’d come to discuss a few changes, which had turned into a major change and then moved on into a complete third choice. She was going to give Jillian an ulcer.

  “This is supposed to be a happy time,” Blair continued.

  “Yes, it is.” Jillian thought of Ryan. She tried not to think of him too often. She knew that he’d taken the job with Levi and that he was around but she’d just run into him once at the grocery store. But, he’d asked how she was doing and she’d said she was doing good. And then they’d left. There had been no invitation to eat ice cream with him.

  “I mean, I’m nervous,” Blair said, breaking into Jillian’s thoughts. “You know, with the baby added into the mix, I had a few reservations about how Jax was going to take the news. I worried about him feeling trapped. But he was wonderful and so happy.”

  “Did you agree on a date?”

  “Not yet. It’s taking a little juggling with family.” She glanced to see whether the clients were still talking and they were. “I want to ask you if you’d be my maid of honor?”

  Jillian was speechless. “Of course I will. I’d be honored.”

  A beautiful smile grew across Blair’s face. “I hoped you would agree. I’ll let you know the minute we decide on a date.”

  “I’ll be excited,” she said, just as the bride stomped toward her with her mother trailing. Jillian smiled. “So did you decide?”

  “My mother thinks I’m being ridiculous,” she said dramatically. “But this is the most important day of my life. Do you get that?”

  Jillian stiffened, but remained calm. “Yes, I do. What can I do to help you?”

  “This room needs more. It’s—”

  The mother rubbed her temple. “Darlene, stop. This place will be beautiful. Jillian and her team will make certain of it. Won’t you?”

  “Yes.” Jillian had shown her their portfolios and gone over this so many times.

  “I am not looking for beautiful. I want amazing. Spectacular. And I just don’t think it’s there yet and we are running out of time.” And then she burst into hysterical tears and stormed from the building.

  “I’m so sorry,” the mother apologized. “This wedding is going to kill me. It absolutely is. Please continue on with the plans and if you can make it…er, spectacular…then please do so. Money is no problem.”

  “I think we have our first Bridezilla.” Blair sighed. “Wow.”

  Jillian nodded. “It appears we do. Well,” she turned to Blair, “none of that for your wedding.”

  Blair laughed. “I promise. Now, I better go change. I’m filling in for one of the hostesses at the restaurant this afternoon.”

  “Oh, I forgot. You work too much, you know.”

  Blair grinned. “Thank goodness I love my job. I’m blessed that way.”

  “Yes, we are at that.”

  When she was alone, Jillian studied the large room. What she’d proposed for Darlene was already over the top. Golden tablecloths, cream candles and cream roses, and crystals draped from the ceilings. And more…it was going to be spectacular. Jillian opened her wedding book and gazed over at the wedding board that she’d prepared months ago when they’d come in and booked the wedding. All of this had been preplanned and was ready to implement. The sudden turn of events was unexpected. She wondered whether Darlene was simply having cold feet. If so, they were the coldest feet Jillian had ever seen.

  Needing a little fresh air herself, Jillian left the building and walked out along the swan lagoon and paused to watch them glide past.

  “Watch out!” someone shouted. She turned around on the narrow walkway just in time to see a huge mass of fur and flapping lips crashing down the path. It barked loudly and then barreled into her. Jillian lost her balance, staggered backward with the weight of the dog and then fell backward into the small, shallow canal.

  Sputtering and drenched, she sat up as the huge dog splashed in the water beside her. She looked up to see, of all people, Ryan jog into the water.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She pushed her mass of hair out of her face, still not sure how she’d ended up in the water. “I think so. Where did this dog come from?”

  Ryan offered her his hand. And she took it, instantly feeling the tug of attraction despite being dripping wet. He smiled as he pulled her up. “We received a call that there was a huge dog running loose on the beach. That animal has been causing havoc out there. You should see all the overturned picnic baskets and umbrellas lying broken behind him. And he made it to you and look at him. He’s calm as a lamb now.”

  She was still breathing hard from falling as she looked down to find the huge, hairy white dog sitting on its haunches in the three feet of water. He grinned up at them; his tongue hung lazily to one side as his long tail zigged back and forth across the water.

  She laughed. “You have no shame.” She slapped her thighs to encourage the dog to come out of the water. “Come on, come out of the water.” And he did; he lumbered out, dripping, and placed his wet head on Jillian’s knee. She petted him and looked up at Ryan. “Any idea who he belongs too?”

  “Let’s see.” He reached down and turned the tag on the dog’s collar over. “His name is Roscoe and he belongs to…” Ryan chuckled. “Well, I’ll be.” He looked up. “He belongs to Kevin Donald Price.”

  “I know that name—oh! It’s the little boy with the apple bobbing.”

  “Yes, it is. There’s a phone number and an address. I think I’ll run him over there instead of calling.”

  They were standing close and she realized for a few minutes they were back to not being uncomfortable with each other. The grocery store had been so bad. She’d wanted so badly to reach out to him but held back.

  “Do you want to come with me? I can run you by your house so you can change. Unless you’re going to finish your day wearing that look.”

  He’d taken hold of Roscoe’s collar and held the monster pooch in place.

  She started to decline but she did need to change. “Sure. That would be nice. And it will be fun seeing Kevin reunited with his dog.”

  Roscoe chose that moment to shake the water from his coat and sprayed them both.

  “Oh, man,” Ryan said. “That was half the bay coming off him.”

  “Tell me about it. I’m soaked again.”

  Minutes later, they climbed into his Windswept Bay SUV. He put the dog into the back while Jillian used towels she’d grabbed from the pool’s towel cabana.

  “I can’t wait to take a shower. Do you have time for me to do that?”

  “I have all the time you need. I’ll make calls while you’re showering.”

  She didn’t live far from the resort and within moments, they pulled into her driveway. She had to give him directions but he had no trouble getting there.

  “Here you go.” He parked and they got out. Roscoe stuck his big head out of the window and barked. Ryan rub
bed his head. “Stay put, buddy. This isn’t your stop.”

  Ryan hadn’t rolled it all the way down, not taking any chances in the dog getting loose again.

  “I won’t be long. You’re welcome to come inside.”

  “I’ll call Levi and let him know what’s going on. I have to tell you, the last time I chased someone through the bushes, it was a drug dealer. It felt kind of weird chasing a dog.”

  She smiled tentatively. “Are you adjusting to the job?” She hadn’t talked to Levi much over the last couple of weeks but she’d heard that Ryan was working.

  “It’s different. It’s good.”

  She nodded and headed inside. There was no denying that she was glad to see Ryan. He looked so good, though he could have looked terrible and she would have thought the same thing. She had to be careful.

  She had to be very careful.

  Ryan had to be careful. Very careful.

  He had chased Roscoe around the resort and never dreamed the chase would end the way it ended. He’d called Levi on the radio and then he’d phoned Kevin’s mother. She was so relieved and assured him that from here on out he would be Kevin’s hero.

  When he was done, he was tempted to go into Jillian’s home just so he could see it. He’d wanted to see her, to hear her voice but other than the night they’d run into each other at the grocery store, he’d avoided her.

  He’d needed to give her space and if he was around her, that would have been impossible. Roscoe had changed that.

  Ryan leaned up against the SUV and looked at Roscoe. “Yep, this is your fault. I have to play my cards right. Or she might keep running.”

  Roscoe cocked his head and his black eyes looked sympathetically at Ryan.

  “I tell you, though,” he said to the dog. Yes, Ryan acknowledged that he might have a problem, having a conversation with the dog. “She looked amazing…even dripping wet and with her mascara smudged, it took all my willpower to act like everything was cool. I have to be cool.”

  The door opened and Jillian walked outside. Ryan groaned. And so did Roscoe, as if understanding what Ryan was going through. Her hair was still damp from the shower and a slight curl softened it around her face. She wore simple white jeans and a soft blue blouse but she could have been wearing a little black dress and heels and she couldn’t have been more beautiful to him.