by Tina Beckett
“You don’t have to say it. I was trapped in an old sewer system for days. If we had been able to get out of there faster and get back to the sub I wouldn’t have lost it. I would’ve been able to stop the spread of the infection.”
“Yes. Most likely you could’ve.”
Silence fell between them. It all came back to that moment. She was the one who’d taken his leg and he’d lost it.
“I don’t blame you.”
She snorted. “Really?”
“I did maybe at first, just a bit.”
“You had some pretty choice words for me when you heard me talking about taking it.”
“I was a bit fevered by then. My apologies.”
“I’m glad to hear you don’t blame me. I was worried you did,” she admitted, not looking at him, but he could see the pink rise in her cheeks.
“No. If the roles were reversed, and I was given no choice but to amputate or let you die, I would’ve done the same.”
“Does that help?” she asked gently as her ministrations softened.
“It does.”
She smiled. “I can tell. Your muscle isn’t so knotted. It’s relaxing.”
“You’re good with your hands,” he murmured and then gasped when he realized what he’d said. “Erica… I didn’t mean…”
Erica was stifling back a giggle and then he couldn’t help but laugh as well. It broke the tension that had fallen between them.
Smooth move.
“Well, I suppose I was due for something like that. I did order you to take off your pants.” She wiped a tear from her eyes and then stood. “I would hate for someone with a key to open that door and see me kneeling between your thighs without your pants on.”
“Good point.” He reached over and began to put on his prosthetic.
“No, let it breathe for a moment. Wearing your prosthetic for so long without a break is why your muscles were so tense.”
“So you want me to sit here in the research lab without pants.”
Erica grinned, her eyes twinkling. “For another ten minutes and then you can make yourself respectable and head for home. You need rest.”
“You do too.”
Her smile wobbled and she ran her fingers through her hair. “I have another eight hours on this shift and somehow during my day off I have to study for your intensive simulation.”
“You’re attending my simulation? I gave you two days off.”
“I’m not missing a chance to train with a former Special Ops Navy SEAL. Especially one who performed first aid on himself in the field.”
“That was nothing. That was survival.”
“I know.”
They smiled at each other. It was nice. He’d forgotten how much he missed being around her. His stupid avoiding tactic had cost him.
“Why don’t you find a nice on-call room and crash?”
“I think I’ll do that. I’ll leave you to put your pants on by yourself.”
“One leg at a time… Right—I only have one.” He winked at her.
“That’s a terrible joke.”
“I have more.” He grabbed his prosthetic. “Go. Rest. You have to rest while you can when you’re doing these long shifts.”
“I will, but promise me you’ll head for home and do the same. I am your second in command here; I can relieve you of your duty.”
“Would you get out of here?”
She smiled, grabbed her things and left. Thorne leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.
He was relaxed for the first time in a long time. When he’d been at the San Diego hospital recovering in a private ward until he’d been able to be debriefed he’d balked at the idea of physiotherapy and massage therapy.
He was made of tougher mettle than that. He only did what was necessary to survive and any physiotherapist who got in his way didn’t last long. When he’d lost his leg, he hadn’t wanted anyone touching it. The pain was penance.
Erica was right. He needed more help. He needed someone who knew how to massage an amputee. He needed pain relief that wasn’t in the form of a pill.
He needed to learn how to manage his pain.
He wrapped his stump, put on his prosthetic, then pulled on his pants, making sure everything was presentable. When he put weight down on his legs, they ached, but they weren’t as bad.
A nice, hot shower and bed would help.
He left the research lab and, as he passed an on-call room, he saw Erica was passed out on a cot. She was lying on her side, with her hands curled up under her head. She looked like an angel.
Heck, she was an angel, and he was the very devil himself, because he wanted to join her. He wanted to curl up beside her, wrap his arms around her and lose himself. Only he didn’t deserve happiness. One wrong move had cost him his brother. Since he’d cost his brother a life of happiness, he couldn’t have what he’d taken from him.
He was unworthy.
You deserve it. It wasn’t your fault.
He ignored that voice.
He shut the door to the on-call room and headed out to his car, trying not to think about her between his legs, her hands on a part of him no one had seen in a very long time. He tried not to think about her.
Only, that was foolish.
He was a doomed man.
After her shift Erica showered, changed into some casual, comfortable clothes and headed down to the docks. The white hospital ship could be seen blocks away and she couldn’t help but grin when she saw it.
She’d served on the USNV Hope for so long it was home to her. It felt like she was going home and as she approached the docks, crew members and staff were filtering down the steps off the ship for a brief shore leave before the simulations started tomorrow.
Erica waited on the other side of the barricade, anxiously scanning the crowd for Regina. Of course, her people-watching was constantly interrupted by other colleagues and former crew members who were happy to see her.
When she’d served her time on the Hope she’d flown out of Sydney, Australia. Hope had been returning out to sea to start a three-month voyage of the South Seas and aid a tsunami disaster.
She hadn’t gotten a chance to give a lot of people a proper goodbye. Including Regina, who was very angry that Erica had left in such a rush, but when you were called by the Home Office there was little chance to say proper farewells. There were no gold watch ceremonies in the Navy. One day you were here, the next you could be reassigned and off somewhere else.
Regina was a nurse, but she wasn’t part of the Navy, and didn’t quite get all the nuances or strict rules which Erica was bound by.
“Erica!”
Erica turned and saw a short, ebony-haired girl pushing her way through the throng of people toward the barricade.
Erica waved at her friend and waited while the Master of Arms cleared Regina for entrance. It only took a few minutes and then that ball of energy was running toward her and throwing her arms around her.
“Oh, my goodness. I’ve missed you, you crazy lady,” Regina said, shaking Erica slightly. “Why the heck did you have to go and get reassigned, and to Okinawa of all places?”
Erica chuckled. “It’s good to see you too, Regina. And for your information I quite like Okinawa Prefecture. It’s very laid-back here.”
“A Naval base laid-back?” Regina asked in disbelief. “I find that laughable.”
“Okay, the base may not be laid-back, but the feeling around the island certainly is. Wait until you meet Scooby. He runs the Pineapple Face.”
Regina wrinkled her nose. “Please tell me that’s a bar?”
“Yes. It’s awesome. It’s like something out of old sixties sitcom reruns, and the proprietor Scooby is a huge Elvis fan. Huge.”
“Oh, I like him already!” Regina slipped an arm through hers and they walked away from the docks. “So I’m being put up in your quarters, eh?”
“Yes. I hope you don’t mind that I made those arrangements.”
“Are you kidding
me? Of course I don’t. My new bunk mate on the Hope is a bit loony and she snores. Loudly.”
“Sorry to hear that, but I talk in my sleep. You used to complain about that.”
“I’d rather hear you spout off about elves, turkeys and whatever other nonsense you’re dreaming about than Matilda’s snore conversations with herself. It’s horrible. I suggested she hit the hospital and the sleep apnea clinic. Seriously, there were a few times I thought she was going to inhale her pillow.”
Erica laughed until her sides hurt. “So what else is happening on the ship?”
“Same old same old. There’s nothing new to report other than Captain Dayton has a new protégé. His name is Lieutenant Clancy and he’s really good-looking.”
“How good-looking?” Erica asked, having an inkling where this was going. Regina was married to an officer who worked in San Diego, but just because Regina was married it didn’t seem to stop her from scoping out gorgeous guys and potential husbands for Erica.
“It’s my hobby,” Regina had remarked once.
Regina scanned the crowd and then subtly pointed ahead of them. “There. That’s how good-looking he is.”
Erica glanced over, trying to be nonchalant. Regina was right; he was handsome. Tall and broad-shouldered from the rigorous training. His officer ranking meant he was probably fresh out of Annapolis: Captain Dayton only picked protégés who came from his alma mater. It also meant that he was most likely a trauma surgeon, as was Captain Dayton.
As she was looking at him, he glanced their way and smiled at her. One of those smiles that made Regina swoon and Erica want to put up her defenses.
“He’s coming this way,” Regina hissed in Erica’s ear, barely containing her excitement.
“Hi, there,” he said.
“Lieutenant Clancy, this is my friend, Commander Erica Griffin.” Regina could barely contain her excitement.
Lieutenant Clancy came at attention and saluted. “I’m sorry, Commander. I didn’t realize who you were.”
“At ease. It’s okay, Lieutenant. I’m not wearing my uniform. How would you know?”
Clancy smiled. “Are you assigned to this base, Commander?”
“I am. My previous assignment was the Hope.”
“Really? So you’re the surgeon who Captain Dayton has been gushing over since I arrived on board.”
She chuckled. “One and the same.”
“He didn’t mention how beautiful you were, Commander.”
Erica tried not to roll her eyes. She really didn’t have time for this kind of come-on. And, no matter how cute the lieutenant was, he was Navy and off-limits. All Naval men were.
Except one.
If Thorne had come up to her and given her that cheesy pickup line she might’ve fallen for it, but then Thorne would never do anything like that. He had pride—an alpha male through and through.
A hero.
“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant, but Regina and me have some catching up to do and it’s my day off.” Erica gripped Regina by the arm and forcibly marched her away from the docks at a quick pace.
“Are you crazy? He’s really into you.”
“Regina, we’ve been together for what…five minutes?…and you’re already up to your old antics.”
Regina laughed and squeezed Erica’s arm. “And you love it. Come on, admit it, you’ve missed me.”
Erica chuckled. “I’ve missed you and possibly your tomfoolery.”
“Tomfoolery? Easy there, Shakespeare, or I may start up with my buffoonery or clownery.”
They laughed together.
“I have missed you,” Erica admitted.
“What’s it like on the base?”
“Good. It feels odd to not be at sea. When I was back in San Diego before this assignment it was hard to get my land legs back.”
Regina grunted. “I know. Every time I have leave and I’m in San Diego with Rick, for two days I swear I’m walking around like I’m drunk.”
“You don’t have the best land legs.”
“Don’t even get me started.” Regina glanced around. “It’s pretty here, though. How far are we away from mainland Japan?”
“Well, you have to take a twenty-four-hour ferry to get to Kagoshima.”
“Wow. That’s far. I guess living it up in Tokyo is out of the question.”
“Yes. You seriously suck at geography.”
Regina stuck out her tongue. “So, what else is interesting about this base? You’re holding something back. Something you’re not telling me.”
“What’re you talking about?”
“I know when you’re hiding something from me.”
“I’m not hiding anything from you.” Erica let go of Regina’s arm. Damn, she hated that Regina was so intuitive. It was what made her a good nurse; she could always glean that little nugget of information out of a patient. “Are you hungry? I’ll take you to that pub I was talking about.”
“What are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing! I’m just trying to feed you.” Then Erica spied exactly what she was trying to hide. Thorne was walking their way.
Regina had been there, working with Erica when Thorne had come in. She’d been his nurse for the few brief hours he’d been on board. Of course, he hadn’t pleaded with her about his leg; he hadn’t reached up and kissed her and called her beautiful.
“Angel.”
“Oh, my God!” Regina froze. “Look who it is.”
Erica grabbed her and pulled her behind a shrub. “Get down!”
“What?” Regina smiled then. “That’s what you’re hiding.”
“Shut up!”
They crouched behind the bush until Thorne walked past and was out of sight. Erica let out a sigh of relief.
“That’s that SEAL from…what…five years ago? The one who you were fighting so hard to keep on the ship. I thought for sure he would’ve died.”
“I thought he did too.”
Regina crossed her arms. “So why are we hiding from him, then?”
“We’re not.”
“Please. What was with the ‘get down!’ then?”
“I thought I saw a bug.” Erica was not the best liar in the world, especially when she tried to lie to Regina; she didn’t even know why she bothered with it.
“Please. Since when have you been afraid of bugs? Remember when we stopped in Hong Kong? You were the only one who tried those fried bugs. Which, by the way, still freaks me out to this day.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Who is he?”
“Captain Wilder is my commanding officer,” Erica responded. There was no point in hiding that aspect. Regina would find out.
“Does he know?”
Erica shook her head. “I’m not talking about this. I’m going to get something to eat.”
“Well, first can I drop my duffel bag off at your quarters?”
“Okay. Then eat.”
“Yes. Then eat.” Regina rolled her eyes. “In time you’ll tell me. You always do.”
Not this time, Erica thought to herself. She wasn’t saying anything more, because there was nothing to tell. Absolutely nothing.
Except undeniable chemistry.
She cursed silently to herself. It was happening again and she didn’t want it to.
Yes, you do.
No. There was nothing secretive or gossip-worthy in nature about her and Thorne. All Regina needed to know was that Thorne was her commanding officer and that he would be running the simulation tomorrow. That was it. End of discussion.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WHY IS HE TOUCHING HER?
It was ticking him off because he should be focusing on the simulation lab, which was about to start. He’d been collected and ready to start at zero nine hundred hours, until some young lieutenant had come in and sat down next to Erica.
She was smiling at him as they spoke quietly to each other and then the lieutenant put his arm on the back of her chair. He wasn’t to
tally touching her, but it was close enough.
Why should you care?
He shouldn’t. He had no prior claim to Erica. She was off-limits. She wasn’t his. Though he wanted her. He desired her. There was no use denying it anymore, to himself, at least. That was where those feelings were going to stay, buried deep inside.
Thorne cleared his throat and shuffled his papers, trying to ignore Erica and the lieutenant, but he couldn’t.
Just like he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of her last night at the pub. She’d been laughing and having a good time with a friend from the Hope. The lieutenant had been there, joking and smiling with them.
Thorne’s only company had been Scooby.
“She doesn’t laugh like that with you.”
“Thanks for pointing that out, Scooby. I appreciate it.”
Scooby had shaken his head. “That’s not what I mean. It’s all fake.”
“I find that hard to believe, Scooby.”
“It’s fake. When she looks at you, that’s something more. It’s better.”
Though Scooby hadn’t been able to elaborate on how it was better.
Thorne found that hard to believe. She didn’t look at him different. Not that he could tell. Then he uttered a few oaths under his breath, mad at himself for thinking about Erica and thinking about looks and lieutenants.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nine. Time to start.
“Welcome everyone to my simulation lecture today.” He moved around the other side of the podium. “Today we’re going to be using robotic simulators and your tools would be the general tools that could be used in battle or emergency situations. There will be very basic tools, because in extreme circumstances you have to think with your head and improvise. I will be breaking you off into teams and each team will be given a different scenario.”
“How long do we have, Captain?” a young ensign asked.
“I will start the timer. The first team to finish successfully, well, I don’t have a prize.” He grinned. “But perhaps I can be persuaded.”
There was a bit of laughter and his gaze fell on Erica. She was smiling at him warmly. The same way she’d looked at him when they’d had pizza together at Scooby’s place and, though he should just ignore it, he couldn’t help but return her smile.