Compassion Be Damned: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Last Hope Book 4)

by Rebecca Royce

  She didn’t understand. “No, we loved her, and I think she felt it for us, too. It was new. But she was starting to act like she did. I wanted it all at once. I forced myself to be calm, not my natural state. If I can get Katrina out of my head, I can find her. I can salvage this. It’s not lost. Not on us.”

  Reed nodded. “That’s true, Sister. When they found her in the woods, I thought Divinity smiled on another guard set.”

  Sister Superior scowled. “Neither of you understand. I don’t understand how Krystal is walking around. I don’t understand how you met her. I cannot see her at all. If the ravens hadn’t reported to us that your former brothers were interacting with her—indeed that you had, too, Reed—I wouldn’t even know that. Krystal died a year ago. We saw it. We waited for her soul to come back to us, to be back where she belonged, with the others, where I could at last keep her safe. It never arrived. We feared she’d been taken permanently by the Darkness like Katrina had.”

  Anger pushed through my veins, and for once it had nothing to do with Katrina and her curse. “She isn’t dead. I was just with her, and I left her alive. Someone has misled you. She didn’t die a year ago. She is alive and well. If you could get the curse out of my brain I can find her right now.”

  I’d always find her. There would be nowhere she could go that I wouldn’t be able to follow. Now that I’d met her, she was deep inside of me, and I’d follow the need for her to the ends of the universe.

  “I assure you, she died. Whatever is happening now is something else. And nothing to do with me.”

  Reed scrunched up his whole face. “I spoke with her, as you said. She was alive in my presence.”

  At least he was on my side. This raven man who I’d been compelled to find, who seemed to have answers, he agreed with me. “She had some sort of incident with elves. I couldn’t see them. But the trees turned purple. I saw that.”

  Once again, I wasn’t being at all articulate. It was hard to put in words what just was, regardless of whether it made sense or not. Some things were real because they were real. Krystal was real.

  The Sister tilted her head to the side. “She saw the elves?”

  Well, at least I wasn’t going to have to insist they were real. “Right. And the trees showed us a purple… dawn. That’s the best way to describe it.”

  Reed shook his head. “This goes beyond me. I deal with the Sisters. The guards. I gave up everything I loved for it. But I don’t know anything about elves.”

  The Sister stepped back, her eyes were distant. “She’s between worlds. The question is why. Who took my Sister’s soul and kept it from coming home to me.”

  Reed held up his hands. “Don’t look at me. None of my ravens would have the slightest idea how to do that. Or why they would to begin with. Her guards were on the ground. There was no interference.”

  “That remains to be seen.”

  I grabbed onto the woman’s arm. Touching them wasn’t done, at least not with the Sisters who were here with us. We weren’t to make contact with them unless we were to save their lives in doing so. Protocol was protocol. Still, I’d gone so far beyond being able to concern myself with niceties.

  “She’s my Sister. And you’d better explain.”

  I expected anger but that wasn’t what I got. Instead, the woman—being—in front of me turned her gaze tender as she regarded me. What was that? Compassion?

  “This is borrowed time. I can’t explain it. Not yet anyway. She shouldn’t be here. She’s dead. But something wanted her to stay. Something beyond me, beyond our version of Divinity. There were always many players in this world who didn’t want to lose it to the Darkness. Something or things have kept her here. I don’t know why yet. I can’t see it. As far as our prophecy goes, she doesn’t exist.” When she stepped back again, I let her go.

  I couldn’t hear through the buzzing in my ears and when that lessened, my chest was so tight I couldn’t catch my breath. She was dead?

  She placed her hand on my face, touching the side of it. “You loved her the second you saw her.”

  “Yes, in the woods.” I nodded, finally giving in to the need to put my hands on my knees. I doubled over. But why not? I’d… failed in the only way that mattered.

  “Not then, Raven. You loved her the day I brought her to my house where you waited.”

  I didn’t know what she meant. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You’ll remember. Or you won’t. I don’t know what’s to happen.” A heat came into my cheek where she touched me, traveling through my body and soon my hands burned. I gasped, this time falling all the way to the ground, hitting my knees on the cold dirt.

  She spoke again. “You’re free of Katrina. This is a gift I give you. I may pay for it. You can cure this curse four times. Save your men. I know not will happen. But I need all my ravens at full strength. Katrina has destroyed us enough. She is done doing so. Whatever forces battle her on this path, they are not mine. I wish them well, and if they mean to help, I thank them. Reed, I release you of the burden of non-communication with the other four. Tell them I want them back. I’m not asking. The end is near. One way or another.”

  Like she’d never been there, she was gone. My hands burned and that was how I knew she’d been real. She’d wrecked my life with her truths and yet I was grateful. I understood. This was borrowed time. We couldn’t waste any of it.

  Reed nodded at me. “You said something to me the last time we spoke.”

  I found my voice, somehow. “I have no memory of us ever speaking before. Just that you existed.”

  “You said that I was a coward. That I’d taken the easy road by cutting myself out of a game, of never having to risk loss.” He looked away from me.

  Had I said that? “Sounds like I should have minded my own business.”

  “I often thought you should have been me. You’d have been better at it. I don’t envy you your loss now, Titus. The ones you’ve had and the ones that will come. We’ll see each other before the end. That much I know.”

  He flew, a black bird with one white feather, into the sky leaving me alone with the knowledge that I’d fallen in love with my Sister, and she had always been a ghost, about to leave me in this world, taking all the light with her.

  Krystal

  I slept really well in a soft bed after a long shower with actual hot water. So when I woke up feeling stiff and uncomfortable, I couldn’t really pinpoint why. I sighed. Leave it to me, I never seemed to be able to be satisfied. I’d wanted to get here so much I’d been magically transported, and I still didn’t feel quite right.

  Of course, maybe it had to do with the way Teagan looked at me like my head might explode and the unanswered questions I had no means to explain.

  Or maybe it had to do with the five guys I missed with an ache that seemed to have grown exponentially overnight.

  They’d wanted to get me here to help me and so they could make it right with Mika. Who knew what was happening to them? I rubbed my eyes and forced myself out of the bed. I hobbled over to the window and stared down.

  Mika held a baby in her arms, two of her guards standing behind her while she spoke to a group of children surrounding her. She held a book in her free hand. One of the kids raised their hands waiting to be called upon.

  Teagan was bent over in the garden and two of her guys were with her. Construction seemed to be going on in the distance. Houses were being built to expand the Sisterhood. Daniella walked away from the main house. She was alone. No, I quickly amended my thoughts. Two of her guards were soon visible, following at a distance.

  They were giving her some space.

  Groups of Sisters wandered the courtyard, talking. There were groups of guards who seemed unassigned. Were Sisters not automatically given guards? How did any of this work?

  The scene was so… homey. Could this have been what my life was like if I’d gotten to come here? Would my five have come eventually and we’d have connected?

  I sighed.

>   A knock sounded on my door, and I turned, managing to walk toward it. Bonney was a lifesaver, but I really might be not be made for riding horses. They’d said Bonney had disappeared. Why? Another question with no answer.

  I answered the door, and Anne stood there, holding a glass with steaming hot liquid coming out of it. “I thought maybe this would help on the first morning.”

  I took it from her, nodding my thanks. “It sure will. Is this coffee?” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had any. The bitter taste moved over my tongue while I sipped. “They cut coffee from me the first day I was locked in the room. This is like heaven.”

  My powers turned on, making my hands vibrate. I stared down at them. What was happening? I raised my gaze to meet Anne’s.

  “Something’s wrong?” I asked the question even as the answer came to me. I always knew what hurt someone or how they were sick. In Anne’s case, she was struggling through the beginning of a hard pregnancy. The baby wasn’t positioned well. It was likely, she would have to take to bed to keep it, she just didn’t know yet. By the time she did know, it might be too late, considering what she did day in and day out.

  Anne walked past me to the window. “I’m a little tired, I guess. I started to wonder if I was pregnant. Why am I telling you this? I felt this way the last time.”

  “Don’t worry. Everyone tells me things when my powers are on. It’s part of the healing process.” I stepped toward her. “I keep things to myself, and I can help you. You are pregnant but… I need to fix something.”

  She paled. “Is the baby okay?”

  “He or she will be when I’m done. It’ll only take a minute, and it won’t hurt. I promise.” I placed my hand on her shoulder. “I can’t really stop myself from helping you. I have to be dragged away if you don’t wish it.”

  Anne chewed on her bottom lip. “Please. I… Yes, go head.”

  I closed my eyes and let my power go, sending it into her to help soothe everything that was wrong and help scoot the baby into a better planted position. I threw some energy at Anne, too. She was depleted, which was not surprising for a woman in her position. One who wasn’t Katrina pretending at the job.

  We stood there, time becoming meaningless while I gently fixed what had gone wrong inside her. I moved on, never really able to resist doing more. But Anne was pretty healthy and it didn’t take long until I could step back.

  Tiredness flooded my system, yet I forced myself to stay still and steady. I wouldn’t have her thinking I was that weak after clearing her system just once. I wanted to stay here, to be useful, not thought of as a loose end they couldn’t count on.

  She pulled me into a tight hug. The action so startling, I almost took us both down to the ground.

  Anne didn’t seem to notice. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I expected her to let go, but she didn’t.

  “That was amazing. I think you just saved my baby, a person I wasn’t entirely sure I was having yet.” She shook her head. “That’s Divinity right there, in your fingers.”

  I hadn’t really thought of it that way, ever. “Well, they’re funny about when I can use my gift, that’s for sure.”

  Anne pulled back to look at me. “You wore yourself out.”

  “No.” I was going to hold onto this idea that I could be strong until I couldn’t any longer. Somehow I would be all I had to be. “I’m fine.”

  She touched the side of my face. “You’re brave and kind. You are magic. There is no doubt. But Krystal, those powers of yours aren’t Sister powers. I don’t know what they are, exactly, except a gift. But they’re not Sisterhood. What are they?”

  That was always the question. “I don’t know. I kind of exorcised a demon by relieving its pain. I can’t… Anne, I was really hoping someone here could tell me what I am exactly.”

  She nodded once. “If anyone can, it’s Daniella and Mika. They’re smart, smart women. They get answers and Teagan…” She let her voice trail off. “Teagan will come around. She’s cautious. Out of all of us, and that includes me, Teagan has had the worst time. She is always going to push back at things that don’t make sense out of a need to keep us all safe.”

  From me. I understood what she was saying. “You had my doppelganger here for a while, right? I get it. That must have been… startling to find out that was a demon. And, I’m here for whatever you need. The thing is, I have to leave.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Already? Where are you going?”

  “I have to find my guards.” They were an ache in my soul. I couldn’t be here if they weren’t. “I… I need to figure out how to turn my powers on when I want to so I can save them. I have to believe I can.”

  Anne rocked back on her heels. “Not any of us are in control of our own powers that way. If mine wake me up in the middle of the night, they wake me up, and I have to use them. I have no choice. We have to fight demons because we have to. We’re the same that way. But mine always turn on when I need them and it sounds like yours don’t. That’s different.”

  She stepped back. “Let’s talk to the guards about sending search parties to get your guys. Maybe they can be locked up, in an acceptable manner, until we figure out how to cure them. Daniella might be able to do it. Don’t worry, Krystal, we’re going to figure everything out. You’re home.”

  If only I could believe her. I’d never had a home. It was hard for me to believe I would have one now.

  I stepped out into the sunshine, dressed in clothes that weren’t Sisterhood garb for the first time ever. I’d been taken from my parents, whoever they were, as a baby. As far back as I could remember, I’d been a Sister.

  Even though my powers weren’t Sister powers. I put my hands on my hips. Everyone here was busy. I couldn’t stand around and mope. At the very least, if someone pointed me in the direction of the library, I could find a map of the area. I needed to figure out where I’d been so I could help find my guards.

  “Hi.”

  I turned at the sound of Teagan’s voice, whirling around. She was alone, save her eye-patched guard who stood back a little bit.

  I took a deep breath. If she wanted to talk some more about things I couldn’t really explain, I’d be happy to do that. This was her place, and she was the Prophet, she had every right to question me until she was comfortable with me.

  If only there was the slightest chance in hell I’d ever be able to answer things to anyone’s satisfaction.

  “Hello.”

  She took a step toward me. “Anne told me what you did. And then I had a vision of her baby being born healthy. I hadn’t seen anything about the baby up until then which isn’t good. I might have first seen it when I saw a gravestone.” She kicked a piece of dirt. “It occurred to me that I’ve been unkind. Whatever has happened that you’re not dead, it has to be a good thing. Strong, powerful, kind magic. The ability to save a child before it’s even born. Those are blessed abilities that have to come from Divinity, and it has to mean you’re kind and compassionate. Please accept my apologies, Krystal. Welcome here. I know you want to find your guards.” She pointed at the sky. “I think we should give that a go. With a little help from you, maybe I can see them. The ravens are dancing today. That’s a good sign.”

  Tears flooded my face, and I wiped them away. “You’d help me?”

  “Gladly.” She extended her hand, and I took it.

  Teagan and I walked to the center of the courtyard. The wind blew gently. We sat together on the grass, and after a few moments, Teagan shut her eyes. The whole time she was never without her guards’ watchful attention. They were all here now as though drawn to the fact that she was going to be using her powers.

  When she opened her eyes, they were pure white. “Divinity does not walk with you, Krystal, but they do with your guards.”

  I sat forward both in horror and joy. I wasn’t with Divinity? But the guards were. Okay. What did any of that mean?

  Chapter 11

  Paden

 
I woke up in a sweat. Or at least it felt that way. How long had I been asleep? Had I been sleeping? Titus’ hand was on my chest, which was weird. I blinked, trying to bring the rest of the world into focus.

  “Titus?”

  He nodded. “Hey, man. Glad I found you.”

  Found me? “What’s going on?”

  He sighed, taking a step back from me before he extended his hand to help me stand. “Long story is that we were still cursed. We managed to get Krystal away from us, and then we all separated. I held on a little while, long enough to get some help and now I’ve cleared you. Curse all gone. Took me a couple of days to find you. I’m still looking for the others, and we don’t have this kind of time.”

  On my feet, I glanced around. I didn’t have the slightest idea where I was or how I’d gotten here, wherever here turned out to be.

  “Glad you could find me at all.”

  Titus rocked back on his feet. I’d never seen my friend—hell, he was more like a brother—look so pale before. He nodded. “I think I’m having some help from the divine. I mean, I know I am. I think I’m maybe having more than I even realized.” He pointed upward where a raven with a white feather circled us. “That’s Reed. He’s been… hanging around.”

  Not that I wasn’t glad for the assistance but the question had to be asked. “Why?”

  “It seems that…” Titus looked away from a second, and the muscles in his throat seemed to clench before he could turn back to me. Whatever this was, it was bad. “Krystal died. I mean, before me met her. She died. And something has been going on to give her extra time but it has nothing to do with Divinity. They don’t understand what’s happening. She is on what was referred to as borrowed time. We have to get to her. If for no other reason that we could lose her any second and they gave me the power to cure the four of you guys so we could do that.”

  My whole body had gone cold while he spoke. It was an odd sensation and the only one I could focus on at all since his words seemed to move through me without actually settling in a way my brain could understand them.