Choices (Mists of the Fae Book 6)

by Jaime Marks

  A firm hand landed on his shoulder stopping him in the hall and he turned looking up to find the Fae in question analyzing him with a shrewd gaze. “I must prepare for the ritual. Go to your chambers and change to your ritual attire then come directly to the throne room.”

  “Yes sire.”

  “Kyle, I know that you are struggling to adjust to all of this and that it is happening quickly for you, but I will find a way to ease this for you.” His gaze was piercing and for just a moment he was sure that he knew, that he’d understood what he’d done. God he’d hoped so.

  “Thank you, Cymeryn.”

  He smiled and pulled him into an embrace, his essence washing over him as he accepted and returned it. “You do not need to thank me. We are family and I will always protect you.”

  He nodded and watched him mist from sight. It had him all freaking choked up again. No one had ever cared what the hell happened to him. John only cared if he thought it might get him killed because in his mind he belonged to him, but aside from his Mom, no one had ever really cared. He didn’t really know what to make of it all but he craved it.

  It didn’t matter what it took, he’d break free of these damned chains that he’d been born into. He’d fight with everything he had because this life, the one he’d chosen the day he gave himself to Cymeryn, the one he’d been gifted when they awakened him and saved his life; it was worth it. He didn’t know if he deserved it, most likely he didn’t and he wouldn’t drag anyone else into his Darkness with him, but he’d fight for this chance to have something more.

  Chapter 20

  Felycia stood in front of the mirror staring at herself in the thin white gown. She had said this was what she wanted and she meant it, but now she was slightly panicked. This might be the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept, even if she wanted it.

  A knock sounded making her jump and she turned as she heard Devyn’s deep voice travel through the door. “May I come in?”

  She nodded then shook her head at her own silliness. Like he would even see her. She was so nervous. “Yes.”

  He opened the door but stood leaning against the jamb as he studied her. “Are you truly prepared for this, Felycia? If not I will talk to Grifyn and we can postpone it until you are. I do not wish you to feel pressured.”

  She nodded hesitantly. “It’s what I want. I know that…” She shrugged her right shoulder pensively to her ear as she chewed her lip. “Putting it off won’t help me be any less nervous. It’s not about whether I do or don’t want this…”

  He walked over and sighed taking her in his arms. “I know. It is about trust. I wish I could make the pain go away and show you the lengths I would go to protect you so that you knew that I would never allow this if I thought there was a chance in the realms that this would harm you.” He gently massaged circles in her back easing her somewhat. “Unfortunately, no Fae can make it easier to trust. It is something that we all must learn on our own.”

  She breathed in his scent taking comfort in his arms in a way that she still couldn’t understand. “This is part of that. I have to allow myself to trust my own judgment and I know Grifyn and Trina won’t hurt me.”

  “No they will not. They only wish to love you, dear girl.” He drew back to meet her eyes. “I am very proud of you for even allowing them to try.”

  She smiled at him slightly, “That’s only because you’re hoping that means I’ll give you a chance to try.”

  He chuckled, “You already are and for that I am truly honored and blessed.”

  Devyn leaned down and kissed her softly. She froze absorbing the sensation a moment while she waited to see if she’d freak out but she just enjoyed his touch. It was something that she’d never thought possible, being comfortable with a male. With him it was almost second nature though.

  “Your brother is in the sitting room waiting to see you, if you allow it. I do not pretend to know your history, but I do sense you are not always comfortable with him.”

  She turned from him a moment trying to figure out what to tell him. It wasn’t really a good idea to make things even more tense between Devyn and her brother, but she wouldn’t lie to him either. “Byryn is…complicated. What happened between us…it wasn’t his fault. I know that. I know he would have been killed if he didn’t follow Trevyn’s orders, but…I just can’t forgive him either; even if I wanted to,” she admitted, surprised how easy it was to talk to Devyn. Facing him again she continued, “And it wasn’t as if he just followed his orders. He was pushed beyond a blind rage. He resisted with everything he had, but…yeah.”

  Devyn’s eyes narrowed in contemplation but softened when he met hers. “He cares for you greatly and the weight of what occurred haunts him. It is plain to see. I understand that you cannot always handle his presence, but I also see how you look to him, how you need him despite how you fear and distrust him. Perhaps in time those wounds will heal enough for you to have more of a relationship.” He rested his hands on her arms, “In the meantime, never be afraid to tell me when you are comfortable with his company. He is welcome in our suite only when you wish it. I will not interfere in your relationship, but I will see that he gives you space when you need it and respects the boundaries you set, Prince or no.”

  She smiled slightly at him. “Always my protector, huh?”

  “For all eternity,” he promised and she almost believed him. “Now, would you like to see him or shall I ask him to leave?”

  “No, it’s fine. Thanks.” She leaned up and kissed him softly then blushed surprised at her own actions. Devyn himself froze before a warm smile spread across his face. It was the first time she had ever kissed him on her own. Hell, it was the first time she’d ever initiated a kiss with anyone herself.

  When they entered the sitting room Byryn rose. “Hey, how are you feeling, Felycia?”

  “I’m good. My headache’s pretty much gone now. What’s up?” She asked noticing his tension.

  “I was kind of hoping that I could talk to you…alone.” He met her eyes. “If you can’t handle that I can ask Grifyn or Trina to come sit with us, or we could go in the hall?”

  She sighed studying him and looked over at Devyn. He nodded to her. “Unless you are uncomfortable I will wait in our chambers. If you need me, you have only to call as I taught you earlier.”

  Devyn had spent the morning teaching her how to communicate and call him if she needed, the basic limits of her essence and discussing training her in self-defense. She knew if he was in the other room all she needed to do was to call him and he would be there; not to mention that if she told Byryn no he would make him leave. He would protect her. She felt a warmth for a moment that she didn’t think she’d ever felt and she realized he was melting the ice that had coated her heart for so long.

  “Felycia?” He asked in a quiet warm voice as he studied her curiously and she almost had to wonder if he’d sensed it; the shift she was feeling in her heart, her soul.

  “Just don’t go far, Devyn,” she answered meaning a lot more than she ever thought she would. He smiled thoughtfully and nodded leaving them alone.

  “Will you sit with me?” Her brother requested.

  She nodded and sat in the chair opposite him. “What do you want, Byryn?”

  He drew a deep breath watching her closely then delved into the matter at hand. “I promised you when you came here that I would never make a decision about your life without discussing it with you. I can see how comfortable you are with Devyn and I know how he feels about you but what I need to know is what you want here, Felycia. If he makes the Declaration of Courting, or if he requests the Rights of Bonding, I have no idea how you would want me to respond and it’s your choice. I won’t accept the declarations unless you tell me you’re sure, but I won’t stand in your way either.”

  Her eyes about popped out of her head. She’d forgotten that technically Byryn held the power to decide her future. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself knowing there was so much
he didn’t know, so much she couldn’t tell him. If he did she had no idea if he’d even give her this option. Shaking her fears from her mind she steadied herself realizing that he wasn’t going to just decide this without her input and she needed to answer him.

  What did she want? She couldn’t agree to this bonding or whatever. She had no idea how she even felt about it or what the future held for her, but she knew that she couldn’t just walk away either. Looking down at her feet she felt guilty even considering this. She was hiding things from Devyn, keeping secrets from her brother, but for now it was what she felt was best. Not really knowing what to tell him she decided for once to just be honest with her brother, as honest as she could be anyway.

  “After yesterday, the only thing I wanted was to run; to get the hell out of here and never look back.”

  He visibly cringed. “Felycia…”

  “No let me talk, Byryn. I never really tell you where my head’s at and I need to this time because it’s the only answer I can give you.” She looked up to gage his reaction and he nodded. “The Brood has been calling me. They’re not gonna stop trying to reclaim me and I didn’t want to just sit here and wait for someone to come through my closet again…but see the thing is, where can I really go? The Shade control Earth and even if the Fae shift the balance you and I both know I’ll never be able to stop running because if I do they will find me. Not to mention the fact that you would most likely hunt me down despite the costs to yourself and we both already know you’d find me.”

  He chuckled, his smug smile more than enough confirmation of her statement. She paused a moment considering how to explain where she was at but decided to just dive right off the cliff. “I promised Devyn I wouldn’t run.”

  His brow arched in surprise as he studied her. “You must really care about him, Felycia.”

  She sighed but didn’t reply to that. “I gave him a month to convince me to stay and I promised I would discuss it with him before I made a final decision. I’m not sure if I’ll leave or not when it’s over, and don’t sit here and try to lecture me. I know the risks and what’s at stake even better than you do.” She cringed slightly at the questions she saw run through his eyes a moment. She needed to watch what she said. “I’m not gonna do anything stupid, Byryn. I will weigh everything out before I make a decision and while I’m here I plan on staying with Devyn. I can’t explain why but…I feel safe with him. He calms me down when I panic and he seems to get me enough to know when I need him and when not to push. I understand there are all these conventions and traditions that I really don’t get but, whatever you need to decide to accommodate that without giving away the rights to my Bonding…fine.”

  He smiled at her. “And where does allowing Grifyn to Claim you fit into all this?”

  She breathed deeply. “I’m trying, Byryn. You asked me to give this life a chance and that’s what I’m doing. I know that he and Trina care and they’re just trying to give me a fresh start, free from my past. I also need to break my connection to the rest of our blood. I know it sounds like I’ve got one foot out the door, but I’m really trying to give things a go of it...all of it.”

  He hesitated a moment, uncertainty clouding his features. It was rare and she didn’t like it. Byryn was always so smug and confident that as much as she hated to admit it he made her feel safe. She knew despite everything that he’d always protected her and he always would.

  “Even me?” He asked.

  She shook her head in discomfort but then met his eyes. Times like this always made her feel so guilty for all the things she held him accountable that weren’t his fault…and all the things she couldn’t say. “I’m talking to you, aren’t I? Alone?”

  He nodded but let it drop. “Are you sure? Because basically what you’re telling me is you and Devyn are courting. I already know he wants to make that declaration. If you’re sure then I’ll accept it.”

  She swallowed hard, not sure if she should answer that. It went against every instinct and defense mechanism that she had. A good part of her still wanted to run but she knew that was her nerves and panic winning out. She didn’t want to let the past dictate her future anymore.

  “He does care deeply for you, Felycia. If I had to guess I would say that he loves you and I’m pretty sure that in the least you care for him. You seem…happy for the first time since I’ve met you.” Byryn’s voice was soft and reassuring, “You deserve this, little sister. I know you’re afraid but if you feel anywhere in your heart that you could be happy with him sis…stop fighting it.”

  “Is that what you did? With Star?”

  He smiled again. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. I stopped fighting my heart and started fighting for her.”

  She closed her eyes choking down her fears. “Ok.”

  “Ok?”

  “If he requests to court me then…yeah, you should say yes.”

  He hesitated then nodded, “If you’re sure, call him.”

  She reached out her essence and Devyn entered the room only a moment later. Before he could speak there was a knock at the door. “Come in, Grifyn.”

  Grifyn entered and smiled warmly at her. “Almost ready, Felycia?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I think I am.”

  “Good. Devyn, Byryn?”

  “Just a sec, Dad. There’s something we need to do first and you should probably be here for this anyway,” Byryn interjected. “Devyn, I owe you an apology. You were right. I overreacted last night.”

  He inclined his head. “The apology is not necessary, Byryn, but it is appreciated.”

  Her brother sighed, “If you’ve got something to ask me, please do.”

  A touch of hesitation slid across his face before a mischievous glint entered his eye. Walking over he sat on the arm of the chair besides her, meeting her eyes with a warm smile as he took her hand. He stared at her as he spoke, watching her reaction. “Byryn a Grifyn, I must tell you that despite the very short time I have known her, I am deeply in love with your sister. She has melted the ice in my heart and her very presence brings me the greatest joy. If I thought she would accept me, we would be bonded this eve, but I know she is not yet ready. Instead I will merely ask your permission to court her so that I might show her exactly how special she truly is and the happiness she deserves while I bide my time until I win her heart. I, Devyn a Devyion, Commander of the Fronts, Patryarch of the Lucerna Lines, do formally request the right to court the lady Felycia a Grifyn, soon to be of the Grifyion Lines of Lucerna.”

  Her heart skipped a beat at his words and her cheeks warmed. He reached over running a finger gently down each of her cheeks, still staring into her eyes lovingly. For that moment she forgot that there was anyone else in the room. There was only Devyn.

  A part of her was screaming to get up and run, to run and never look back while she still could because this Fae was going to trap her, but the stronger part of her just wanted to be in his arms. Without thinking she pulled his hand drawing him closer and kissed him, not the soft simple kiss that she had only allowed before, but a deep, passionate kiss allowing her tongue to slip into his mouth entwining with his own. He took control, kissing her with a possessive need before slowly drawing back from her. It took her breath away.

  Byryn cleared his throat a moment watching them with a slightly shocked look on his face but then spoke almost regally, “I, Byryn a Grifyn, Prince of Night, Liaison of Redemption and Head of the Personal Guard, do so grant Devyn a Devyion the right to court the Lady Felycia a Grifyn, mine blooded sister and ward.”

  “And I, Marcus a Cymarcion of the Lines of Lucerna, Crowned King of the Light Throne of Balance, do so witness this courting.” They all looked up startled to see Marcus standing by the mantle in his ritual robing watching them. “Sorry to interrupt, but I needed to see if we were ready?”

  They all looked to Felycia. She nodded and stood straightening her robing. “Yeah. Sorry to keep you waiting, Lord Marcus.” She curtsied.

  “Not to worry, Fely
cia. Cymeryn is overseeing the set up with Reyana and once we arrive we shall proceed.” He nodded. “Congratulations on your courting.”

  She blushed and took a deep breath as Devyn drew her into his side and wrapped an arm protectively around her waist. As they left the suite and walked to the throne room she contemplated where her life was now. Everything was changing really quickly. She wasn’t really sure how to feel about it. For a split second she had the thought that she should stop and think about all this, but the truth was all that would do was let her fear get in the way of everything. There was no way she would’ve allowed Grifyn to Claim her or Devyn to court her if she stopped to think about it. Really it felt like she was riding a wave at the beach except it never seemed to ease up or bring her closer to shore. She could fight it and swim out but she was enjoying the ride and if she didn’t finish it, she’d never know where the journey would take her.

  “Are you alright, dear girl?” Devyn leaned down to speak softly in her ear.

  “Yeah, I am. It’s just all changing.”

  “Is that bad dear?”

  “I hope not,” she conceded smiling when he kissed her temple briefly. “I’m trying to trust all this.”

  “I am right here with you, Felycia. Always. If it gets to be too much you have only to tell me and we will slow this all down. I only wish to see you happy,” he spoke to her with such sincerity and affection she couldn’t help but smile again.

  They met eyes for a moment and she realized that it didn’t really matter. This was the most she’d smiled in years, maybe ever. Life was a journey and up until now she’d been running, barely existing, without knowing how things could be. Even with all the danger she’d lived through in her life and how brave everyone considered her, nothing she’d done up until yesterday had ever been brave. She never took risks, always playing it safe while she tried to skate under the radar.