Charlotte's Dilemma

by Diane Leyne

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Did you go more than once?”

  “Yes.”

  “And did you want to try it? Did you want to be spanked?”

  “Yes.”

  “And controlled, restrained?”

  “Yes.”

  “With two men, like Cin?”

  “No. But the spanking…I watch Cin’s sister Lindy being spanked and, well, other things by her husband, and I was, er, turned on.” She whispered the last few words, her face flaming red by this time, and she was thankful JJ was behind her.

  “Did someone spank you?”

  “Only you.

  “And you liked it when I spanked you, didn’t you? It was your fantasy come to life, in other words.”

  “Yes.”

  “And you understand what a Dom is?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is that how you address your Dom?”

  “You’re not my Dom.”

  “Aren’t I? I’ve spanked you and controlled you in bed, and you’ve loved it. Haven’t you?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Better. I want to see you after tonight. I like you and you like me, and three nights is not enough. You’ll learn that I’m always in charge in the bedroom and playroom, but so far, you seem to have enjoyed me taking charge. But don’t worry. I’m not a twenty-four-seven Dom, as you’ve already noticed. In other situations, I’m easygoing and will even let you take charge occasionally and order me around. Of course, you’ll pay for it when we’re alone.”

  He pumped inside her once, almost leisurely, pulling almost completely out of her before surging back in again and pausing. She wiggled and tried to move, but he held her still, seeming to prefer talking to fucking.

  “You said you visited Club Libertine a few times with your friend. Was that the first time at a BDSM club? Did you play there? Have you ever had a Dom in the past? Maybe before you joined Doctors Without Borders?”

  “No. Never,” she whispered, equal parts turned on and frightened by the thought of playing at a club. She’d seen what Doms did to subs there. And she didn’t even want to think about the concept of JJ being her Dom.

  She felt his laugh deep in his belly as he pressed against her.

  “How did I get so lucky? I feel just like a kid at Christmas dying to unwrap my presents. I’m going to adore introducing you to the delights of the St. Andrew’s Cross and the bondage table and the spanking bench. And I’ll try out floggers and paddles and canes on your ass to find out what you like and what you love. I’ll break in your virgin ass, and I’ll train you to love BDSM and submitting to me.” He paused, and Charlotte couldn’t help herself. She flexed her hips again. Smack.

  “Charlotte, do you want kids?”

  She stiffened in shock.

  He laughed again. “I don’t mean right now. I’m not ready yet to be a father, but maybe in a couple of years?”

  “I, uh, I hadn’t really thought about it,” she lied. “I mean, where I’ve been working, you didn’t think much about the next day, let alone the future.” Oh, god. She wanted kids so badly most of the time and then dreaded the thought at other times. Her previous job had made her value life so much and yet be so afraid to create new life in such a perilous world.

  “No problem. I get it. But I’d like at least two or three, so start thinking about it now.” He rubbed her stomach. “I get so turned on by the thought of your belly big and round with my child in it, and your magnificent tits swollen even bigger as your body prepares for motherhood.”

  He started moving leisurely within her. “Think about it, Charlotte. I’m looking for more than a playmate. I was in the hospital when Kristoff’s wife gave birth. I held that baby when he was less than an hour old, and I knew that it was time for a change. I’d been working down here for a few months while I was on stress leave, and I knew couldn’t go back to that kind of life. So I went back to the mainland and quit my job. I knew I didn’t want to be a part of the rat-race anymore, but I didn’t know just what it was I wanted until I saw you at the Miami airport, but then it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

  “When I realized that you wanted me, too, I figured I was the luckiest guy in the world.” He moved quicker. “I know you probably don’t want to stay down here in the islands forever working as a doctor at a resort. You probably will want to go back to a more challenging practice on the mainland at some point, and I’m good with that, as long as it isn’t in a war or famine zone. We could get married, and I can be Mr. Mom and stay home with the kids while you go to work and heal people.”

  Suddenly, a picture formed in her mind of her coming home from the hospital, exhausted, only to be greeted by JJ and he was carrying a baby while a toddler clung to his leg and he was laughing and kissing her and the cares of the day fell away as she was enveloped in their love.

  And then he was pounding into her, but suddenly her arousal was gone. Instead of pumping her up, his words terrified her. JJ was barely more than a kid, himself. Oh, yes, now, it seemed like a great idea to be Mr. Mom raising the kids while his wife worked, but there’s no way that would be enough. After a while, he would resent her. Either he’d miss working, or he’d miss the island. She would be tired and crabby and those eight years between then would seem to get larger. And what about the hot younger women who would throw themselves at him? He thought she was hot now, but what about when her body changed after giving birth. At her age, it wouldn’t bounce back like a twenty-something. It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. He probably even believed what he was saying now, but he was inside her, fucking her, and his brain was affected by the endorphins. It was a wonderful fantasy, but she had to be strong and protect her own heart.

  She realized he’d stopped moving again, probably because he could feel her tenseness. She tried to will herself to relax and flexed her hips against his. When he reached down to play with her clit, she had to concentrate to get his words out of her mind and let herself go.

  Then he changed the angle of his penetration and his cockhead started dragging across her G-spot, and she didn’t have to force it any more as arousal surged through and she came screaming before collapsing on the bed with JJ on top of her, their bodies still connected.

  Sighing, he carefully withdrew and disposed of the condom before pulling her close, spooning, as he fell asleep. As tired as her body was, Charlotte’s mind kept her awake. This was supposed to be a fling, a few days of hot sex with a young stud who could go all day and all night.

  She wasn’t looking for a Dom or a baby-daddy or a husband, and it frightened her just how much she wanted the life he’d so eloquently described. She made a decision. In the morning, she’d try to slip out of the hotel room. She had toyed with the idea of telling him where she was going to be working, but now she knew she couldn’t. She had to end things with him now. He was getting emotionally involved, and she didn’t want to break his heart. Not that it would last. He was infatuated with an older woman. A hot young guy wouldn’t want an older war-weary woman in his life permanently. He’d somehow convinced himself that he did, but with time, his feelings would change and he’d find someone his own age to love and make babies with.

  She had to protect her own heart, too. She couldn’t lie to herself. She was already halfway to falling in love with him, and she had to get away from him before she fell all the way because then it would be her heart broken when he eventually woke up and realized that he could do better.

  How ironic that he was into BDSM. She had enjoyed the way he had taken charge in bed. She’d even enjoyed being spanked. Maybe on Libertine Island, she’d find some experienced Dom to teach her more, someone she wouldn’t fall in love with.

  But would JJ go there to play? She considered the thought. The resort was hideously expensive, and he was going to be driving tourists around on his boat. No way could he afford the place. Unless, of course, that was where he worked.

  She smothered a laugh. As if. That kind of coincidence only happened in romanti
c comedies, not that they were ever set at BDSM resorts. Although, there was that one with Rosie O’Donnell. What was it called? It was based on that Anne Rice book. Exit to Eden. That was it. It hadn’t been a very good movie, as she recalled, but this was real life, not a movie. After tomorrow, she’d more than likely never see JJ again. She felt sad at the thought, and a little voice inside her whispered that it wouldn’t hurt to tell him where she was going to work. Maybe she could get him a guest pass and he’d come and play with her?

  Ruthlessly she subdued that little voice. He was with her now, in her hotel room. Sure, he was attracted to her, but maybe he also liked the idea of staying in a nice hotel for a few days. Maybe he was faking the whole attraction thing. She tried to convince herself that he was just a player and had no feelings for her. But she couldn’t convince herself of that. He wouldn’t have introduced her to Kristoff and Sandy and the rest of the family if he didn’t have feelings for her, or thought he did. Maybe she just reminded him of Margie Leider? He said they were the same age.

  Her eyes flew open.

  That was it. She was the dream woman that he’d romanticized and still thought about but they never consummated their relationship. She’d remained a symbol. No wonder he had such a sudden crush and had convinced himself he had feelings for her. She reminded him of his first love, his first sexual experience. He was feeling nostalgic, and she was convenient. Maybe they even looked alike. It was only a matter of time, really, until he found a hot young thing and moved on, and the longer they were together, the more it would hurt when he did. She definitely wouldn’t tell him where she worked. She would make a clean break in the morning before he left her. But until then…

  She could see the light peaking in from the curtains, which weren’t fully closed. Checking the clock, she realized it was almost seven and she would have to get up soon. She had to be down at the dock at noon. She had to shower and pack and have breakfast. Then she’d walk away from JJ and take a cab down to the dock and step onto the boat and away from JJ forever.

  She could do it. It was the right thing to do. It was for the best. And it wouldn’t be that hard. She barely knew him. A few days on the job and she’d be looking back with fondness and the memories of her island fling. He was such a sweet boy. Maybe, she’d run into him again someday and they’d smile and make small talk awkwardly and both be glad that they hadn’t taken things too seriously.

  Charlotte sighed. Maybe, in time, she’d be able to convince herself that this was the truth. If she did run into JJ, she just hoped he wouldn’t be with another woman. It would tear her heart out because, damn it, she was falling in love with the big lug, which meant she had to break thinks off ruthlessly tomorrow. Tear the Band-Aid off with one pull. She had to end things tomorrow and not give in to the desire to see him again because if she did, it would be that much harder when he eventually left her.

  She turned into his arms. Reaching up to brush her hand against his cheek, she could feel his cock stirring against her leg. He wasn’t even fully awake when he rolled over and slid into her.

  Chapter 7

  Holy crap!

  JJ suddenly was wide awake and realized he was inside Charlotte without a condom. He needed to pull out. He knew this, but she felt so damned good. He hadn’t been inside a woman without a latex barrier since forever, or, no, never. He’d always been scrupulous about hygiene, and he was going to do his bit to prevent pregnancy, even if a woman promised him she was on the pill. No birth control method was perfect, and the combination of the pill and a condom was like wearing a belt and suspenders. Besides, one could never be too careful about preventing an unwanted child being brought into the world. He’d grown up with kids who were told they were accidents. Even if the parents remained civil, there was always going to be a feeling of shame.

  But now part of him wished Charlotte wasn’t on the pill. He’d been telling the truth last night. He was ready to be a dad. Spending time with Kristoff and his family had shown him that, but he had to pull out. He groaned. He didn’t want to pull out of her warm, moist pussy. Just one more stroke…

  And then it was too late. Charlotte’s orgasm had hit and her pussy started spasming, milking his cock, causing him to lose control and start coming inside her. Damn but didn’t it feel good. Pumping harder, because even though he’d already come inside her, he knew his cock was still hard, he reached down and pulled her legs up over his shoulders, giving himself even deeper access to her pussy. Pounding hard, he felt his cock twitch and knew he was going to come again.

  He was thrusting like a madman now, angling slightly so the head of his cock rubbed hard over her G-spot. He tried to hold back until he could feel her coming. His control was slipping and he pressed harder and harder and then…she came. Her body started bucking beneath her as she screamed her release and her pussy clamped down hard on his cock, and he was coming again, spurting rope after rope of his cum deep inside her.

  When he had to more to give, he collapsed on top of her, careful to keep most of his weight off her, but making sure his cock was still inside her, trying to stay connected just a little while longer until, exhausted, he had to pull out and roll onto his back, breathing deeply as if he’d just run a marathon. Reaching out a long arm, he pulled Charlotte to him, held her tight, and tried to apologise for what had been the best sex of his life.

  “I am so sorry. I just…I was half-asleep and inside you before I realized what I was doing, and I was going to pull out but then you came and I came and…”

  “Hey, I’m okay. I’m on the pill. I’ve been tested for STDs. You should get tested, but I’m not mad.”

  JJ grinned and rolled onto his side, reaching out to smooth down her short, spikey hair. “Nothing to worry about there. I just had a complete physical a few weeks ago, and I haven’t been with a woman since. Hell, I’ve never been with a woman bareback, ever.

  “I told you to drop it. Now I’m hungry. I’m going have a shower.”

  JJ watched helplessly as she pulled away from him and walked to the bathroom, pausing to grab some clothes from her suitcase. He sat up, at a loss for what to do.

  He reached for his shorts, which were flung over a chair, and pulled them on. Then he went around the room and scooped up the rest of his things, not that there were many, and put them in his bag. All that was left was his shaving gear, and that was in the bathroom, so he left the bag unzipped. If it were still yesterday, he would just have walked in and shared while she was showering. Then he’d probably have joined her, but it was abundantly clear that he wouldn’t be welcome this morning.

  So he sat and waited. Eventually she came out. Her hair was damp and sticking up. He’d never liked short hair on a woman before, but it suited Charlotte. He wanted to walk over to her and hug it out. He even stood as she walked toward him. Maybe…But then she continued past him toward the window and pulled open the curtains. Another beautiful St. Maarten morning.

  She turned.

  “I’m going to finish packing and then grab some breakfast. I have to be down at the dock, in ninety minutes to meet my ride to the island where I’ll be working. You can join me for breakfast if you like or you can grab a shower or a nap or something. Room’s paid for until noon.”

  She turned and started packing. There wasn’t much. She was very neat and had put most of her things away last night. JJ stared for a moment and then went into the bathroom and grabbed his things. When he came back out, she was just finishing up. He pulled a tank out of his bag before stuffing the shaving gear inside and zipping it up. Then he pulled on the tank and sat down to wait.

  She was finished a few minutes later. When she looked up at him, she wasn’t his Charlotte any more. Her face was remote. The warmth, the openness was gone. He felt almost like they were strangers and hadn’t spent the last three days getting to know each other as intimately as it was possible for two people to do.

  She picked up her purse and grasped the handle of her suitcase.

  “Coming?”r />
  JJ grinned and started to make a smart-ass reply, but the words died on his lips when he looked at Charlotte’s face. In the end, he just nodded, grabbed his own bag, and followed her out the door, turning the lights out behind him in an action that seemed to be almost symbolic.

  * * * *

  Charlotte ate slowly. It all tasted like cardboard, but she forced it down, and then took a sip of orange juice. It was only nine. The taxi ride to the dock would only take ten minutes, so she had almost two hours to kill. She wished that JJ was with her. She was nervous about her new job, and she wanted him to soothe her fears. She knew how to handle a battle zone and a refugee camp and even a boardroom full of executives she had to convince to donate money, but this was different. It had sounded so exotic and a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree change from what she’d lived for so long. A whole year on a tropical island sounded like heaven, but now, when she was hours away from starting the job, she was scared in both a good way and a bad way. Club Libertine had made her nervous but it had turned her on, too, watching the couples and groups play, as they called it.

  How would it feel to be around that type of behavior full-time for a year? Would she be asked or even expected to participate? Suddenly she wished JJ were here now. She had been an idiot not to tell him where she was going to work. She had been too embarrassed, at first, to tell him she was going to work at a sex resort. And then she realized he was a Dom and she been both relieved and disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to afford to play at a place like Libertine Island.

  A little voice in her head had whispered that, as staff, she could invite him to visit her. Hell, maybe even get him a job there. After all, they had boats, too. But she’d been afraid as well. He was getting emotionally involved and so was she, which scared her more than the idea of working at a sex resort, so she’d pushed him away with her stupid babbling about boy toys and cougars and such. If she’d had a fraction of the courage of some of the people she’d been treating, she wouldn’t have panicked and pushed him away.