Errors of Judgment

by Caro Fraser

  ‘No. But when you wrap it up with everything else that happened …’ She sighed and pushed her plate away. ‘You see, one of the Russian girls, Dina, had gone into the bedroom because she was a bit drunk and wanted to lie down. Well, I only know that now. I wasn’t aware then. And one of the Saudi guys went in after her. I wasn’t aware of that, either. The first time I realised there was anyone in the bedroom was when I went into the bathroom, which was in between the bedroom and the room where the party was, and while I was in there I heard this sort of muffled shouting from the bedroom. I opened the door to see what was going on, and there was this fat Arab guy – Hakim, I think his name was – with his trousers round his ankles, Dina with her dress round her waist, and him trying to drag off her knickers with one hand. He had his other hand over her mouth. She was struggling and kicking, and then suddenly he just fetched her one really hard across the face, and her nose began pouring with blood. It was horrible. So I ran into the room and tried to pull him off, and he began to stumble about, and the next thing I knew one of the other Saudis had come in. He pulled the door shut behind him, so it was just the four of us in there. He saw what was going on, and he was hissing things at Hakim, presumably telling him to pull his trousers up and get out. And I said something like, “Hold on a minute – he was trying to rape her. I saw him.” And he just rounded on me, saying things like, “You’re all sluts. You deserve what happens. Nothing happened here. You didn’t see a thing.” And I said, “I most certainly did. What I saw was attempted rape and assault, and I’m going to make sure everyone knows.” So I headed for the door, and he followed, trying to grab me, but I made it into the sitting room and – well, I just started shouting about what I’d seen. And the next thing I knew a load of people had gone in and grabbed Hakim, and the other Russian girls were all freaking out, because Dina was just lying on the bed with blood all over her face. It was kind of mayhem.’ She stared at her plate, then picked up a piece of Brie rind and nibbled it.

  ‘And then?’

  ‘Then I was just sort of standing in the doorway of the sitting room with all this chaos erupting, and Anthony came out of the poker game and asked what was going on. I told him, and he went through to the bedroom. Then a couple of seconds later the other Saudi guy came out and saw me, and he pushed me into the corridor and grabbed the top of my arm and said something like, “If the police are called, and you say anything, if you say one word about what you saw, I’ll make sure you regret it.” He sounded so vicious, and I was really scared. And then he asked me if I’d ever seen what a girl looked like after she’d had acid thrown in her face. Because that was what was going to happen to me if I told the police what happened.’ Her eyes filled with tears again. ‘It sounds so stupid now, but I was a bit drunk, and a bit high, and when Caspar Egan said he was calling the police, I just had to get out of there. I thought if I got away for a week or so, till everything had died down, maybe no one would mention that I’d been there, or that I might have seen something.’ She was weeping now, her shoulders shaking. ‘I was just so scared. I know it was stupid to run away. I know if the police had been called that it would only have made things worse, but at the time …’

  Leo laid a hand on her arm. ‘Come on. You overreacted, but you were scared.’

  ‘All last night I just lay in the apartment in my sleeping bag, thinking about what would happen if there was a trial, and I had to give evidence. You know, I really believe that man would have carried out his threat.’ She gazed at Leo with large, haunted eyes.

  ‘Well, you can forget about that, because it’s not going to happen. What you need now is a good night’s sleep. We’ll talk some more tomorrow. On the way home.’

  Later, Gabrielle lay on her bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling of the hotel room, thinking. She picked up her mobile phone from the bedside table and scrolled to Anthony’s number. Late as it was, she should call him and tell him where she was, and why. Then she stopped and sighed. It was all so complicated, and she felt so tired. What if Anthony had decided it was over between them, because of Leo? She didn’t think she could deal with that. Not tonight. She put the phone back on the table and closed her eyes. Tomorrow. She would find out the worst tomorrow.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  The next day, Leo and Gabrielle caught the late afternoon flight to London, and talked for the entire journey, mainly about Anthony.

  ‘The difficult part yesterday, talking to Anthony about you, to try to find out where you were, was telling him that you’re my daughter.’

  ‘Why? I mean, why was that difficult?’

  This stalled Leo. Gabrielle could have no possible inkling about his relationship with Anthony. At last he said, ‘Perhaps not difficult, but it was always going to be a bit of a surprise.’

  ‘If you’re such close friends, I don’t know why you hadn’t told him before.’ Gabrielle felt a little sorry for Leo, but it irritated her that he seemed unable to utter the truth. One of them was going to have to. It looked like it was going to be her.

  ‘It’s complex.’ Leo knew it was lame, but it was the best he could do. Then after a moment he asked, ‘Why didn’t you tell him? He seemed surprised that my name had come up in conversation between you two, but that you’d never said anything.’

  ‘Oh, Leo …’ Gabrielle sighed. ‘It’s because I know there’s something going on between the two of you. And I didn’t want to have to … I don’t know … confront it. Or mess it up.’

  Leo looked away. Then he said, ‘I take it Anthony has said something.’

  ‘Nothing. I mean, apart from lighting up when he talks about you. No, it was one night when I was – well, not stalking you, but following you about, trying to summon up courage to speak to you. You and he had come out of the bar in Middle Temple, and you stopped and talked for a bit. And then you kissed him. I mean, properly. It wasn’t hard to work out you were more than just good friends.’

  ‘I see.’

  There was another long silence. Then Leo turned to Gabrielle and said, ‘You knew that, and yet it didn’t deter you from starting a relationship with Anthony. I find that odd. Or maybe it was the reason you did.’

  ‘How d’you mean?’

  ‘Some perverted kind of curiosity?’ He saw from her face that he had hit a nerve. ‘We’re not so very unalike.’

  At length Gabrielle said, ‘How close are you?’

  ‘Close. More so, once upon a time. But Anthony made a deliberate choice. He doesn’t want to operate in my strange world. I suppose I’m glad, in the long run. It’s not easy.’

  ‘All this – will it make Anthony feel he has to choose between us?’

  ‘It might. I don’t know. It shouldn’t. I think you’ll have to give him time, though. Do you love him?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, I do. If he decided to end our relationship because of this, I’d be desperately miserable. And I would feel hugely guilty.’

  ‘Not quite so guilty as I would, believe me.’

  ‘But I’d get over it. As one does.’

  ‘As one does.’ Leo was disconcerted to see his own emotional pragmatism reflected back. ‘I can talk to him. He shouldn’t feel he has to choose, or give you up, or anything of that kind. What exists between Anthony and myself is very deep, emotionally, but it goes no further.’

  She closed her eyes. ‘I’m beginning to feel that my coming into your life has caused you nothing but trouble.’

  ‘The trouble is not of your making. It’s just luck, fate, call it what you like. And having you in my life makes me very happy, believe me.’ She opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he added, ‘We’re rather a strange pair of people, though, aren’t we?’

  They arrived at Gatwick a little after seven, and Leo drove them back to West London.

  ‘Holland Park or Kensington?’ he asked, as they headed across Battersea Bridge.

  ‘Kensington, please.’

  Leo nodded. ‘I should think your mother will be very pleased to see you.’


  ‘Maybe. But it’s Anthony I intend to see first. I need to find out what he’s thinking, whether it’s going to make a difference to us.’

  ‘If he loves you, I don’t think it should.’

  ‘No – but like you said on the plane, it’s complex.’

  She got out, waited till Leo had driven out of sight, then walked up the steps and rang the buzzer to Anthony’s flat.

  ‘It’s me,’ she said when he answered.

  There was a moment’s hesitation, then Anthony said, ‘Come on up.’

  When she stepped out of the lift, he was waiting for her. He took her in his arms and held her very close for a long moment, and she realised with relief that it was all OK.

  ‘Thank God. I’ve been so worried.’ He kissed her hair. ‘Where the hell have you been?’

  ‘In France. At Leo’s apartment. He guessed where I was and came and found me.’

  ‘That’s mad. Why France?’

  ‘I was hiding. I was frightened.’ She sighed. ‘Let’s go inside and I’ll explain.’

  While Anthony made tea, she lay on the sofa and kicked off her boots. Then they sat sipping their tea, Gabrielle’s feet in Anthony’s lap, while she told her story.

  ‘So that’s it. Pathetic, no?’ she said when she had finished.

  ‘I wish you’d come to me, instead of running away. I was worried. Everyone was.’ Anthony massaged her toes through her socks.

  She closed her eyes. ‘That’s lovely. Don’t stop. I was going to ring you last night from the hotel, but I was too scared.’

  ‘Scared of what?’

  She opened her eyes. ‘That after you’d found out that Leo was my father, you wouldn’t want to see me any more.’

  ‘How does that work?’

  She gazed at him for a long moment. Had he been acting, he would have looked puzzled. But then, he had no idea that she knew anything about him and Leo. She bit her lip. Who was hiding what from whom? Just as she was trying to decide whether to tell him what she knew, he leant over and took her face in his hands. ‘It makes no difference to me that Leo is your father. I don’t know why you didn’t tell me sooner, or why you think it makes any difference to me now. But if we’re going to be together, we have to be entirely honest with each other. About everything.’

  Her eyes searched his face, but she could find no clue, nothing to tell her what Leo meant to him. But deep in her heart she thought she knew.

  ‘Agreed?’ asked Anthony.

  She nodded, and let him kiss her, sealing a bargain she was already failing to keep.

  Leo drove to Chelsea, feeling emotionally empty for reasons he could not fathom. Perhaps it was to do with the fact that Gabrielle and Anthony meant so much to one another, and he could now only regard himself as peripheral. The last twenty-four hours had taken it out of him, and the three things he needed now to restore his equilibrium, he decided, were a shower, a change of clothing, and a large Scotch.

  When he had accomplished the first two, he came downstairs and poured himself a drink from the remains of the Macallan single malt on which Jamie had made such tremendous inroads at Christmas. Looking at the bottle reminded him of that evening, of lying on the sofa leafing through the book which Sarah had given him, Jamie snoring on the other side of the room, hearing the front door open and close as she came in. The Lost Railways of North Wales still lay on a small table near the window. He picked it up and turned it over. What a fool he’d been to let her go. Something had been wrong all the time she’d been staying here, but suddenly he no longer believed it had anything to do with Toby. He should have looked a little deeper.

  On impulse, he picked up the phone and rang Sarah’s mobile. When she answered, he could hear the clamour of a bar in the background.

  ‘Sarah? It’s Leo. You sound like you’re busy.’

  ‘A bit. Hold on.’ Sarah turned to the young man she was with. ‘I won’t be a moment.’ She slipped out of the noisy wine bar into the chilly street. ‘Sorry, that’s better. I can hear you now.’

  ‘Look, I won’t keep you. It’s just I have to see you. Are you free on Friday?’

  She had actually been reserving Friday for the man in the wine bar, a fairly interesting new romantic prospect, but decided he could wait. Calls out of the blue from Leo didn’t come very often. Weak though it was, she wanted to see him.

  ‘Yes, I think so.’

  ‘You’re in Leadenhall Street these days, aren’t you? I can come to you, if you like.’

  ‘There’s a cocktail bar called Prism, just opposite the Lloyd’s Building. We could meet there.’

  ‘Perfect. I’ll see you there at six.’

  At half five on Friday afternoon reception rang Leo to tell him that Rachel was downstairs, asking to see him.

  ‘Tell her to come up. She knows the way.’

  Leo went to the landing to meet her. As soon as he saw her he could tell, despite her smile, that she was nervous about something.

  ‘Come in,’ said Leo. ‘This is a bit of a surprise.’

  ‘I had a con with Geoffrey Dempsey, so I thought I’d come and see you.’ She sat down, glancing round the room. ‘I haven’t been here in ages.’

  ‘A special visit means you must be here for a special reason.’

  A slight flush touched her pale cheeks. She smoothed down her dark hair with one hand. ‘I suppose so.’

  ‘Coffee?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, I won’t stay long. It’s something I need to tell you. I thought I’d rather do it face-to-face than over the phone.’

  ‘Is it about Simon?’

  She looked momentarily surprised. ‘Yes. Yes, it is. Just after Christmas he asked if Oliver and I would like to go away on holiday at half-term. Just the three of us.’

  ‘I have no objection.’

  ‘Well, it’s more than that. Simon has been staying off and on at mine for a while now. More on than off. And we’ve decided it would be a good idea if he moved in. Give up his flat. It makes more sense. And it means life is a bit more settled for Oliver.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘And if it works out – that is, if we’re still together in a few months’ time, we plan on finding somewhere of our own. I mean, the house is part of the divorce settlement, and I don’t think Simon likes the idea of staying there long-term.’

  ‘That shows a commendable sensitivity.’

  ‘Anyway, I felt you should know before it happens. Oliver is involved, after all.’

  ‘Oliver’s really fond of Simon, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, he is. They get on really well together.’ She gazed at him. ‘But you’re his daddy. There’s no question of Simon taking your place. Simon would never try to. And anyway, Oliver worships you.’

  Leo got up and strolled to the window and stood staring down at the courtyard for a few moments. Then he turned round and gave her a smile. ‘Well, thanks for telling me. I hope it all works out for you. Really I do. I wasn’t a great husband. You deserve better. If everything Oliver says about Simon is true, he sounds a first-rate chap.’

  ‘He is. But even though he and I are together, everything to do with Oliver goes on exactly as before. He’ll come to you next weekend. Nothing changes.’

  Everything changes, thought Leo. Rachel would only take this step if the relationship with Simon was truly serious, and they intended to settle down together. In a few years’ time Oliver would probably have a baby brother or sister, maybe more than one. A family dynamic would develop, an ever-growing sphere of influence which would inch Leo further and further to the edge of Oliver’s life. It was to be expected.

  ‘I know. I’m sure it will all be fine. I want you and Oliver to be happy.’

  Rachel glanced at her watch. ‘I have to get back to the office. I just needed to tell you what’s going on. I haven’t told Oliver yet, but I will have by the time you next see him. Perhaps you could – you know, talk about it with him. If he wants to.’

  ‘Of course. Come on, I’ll see you out.’


  They went downstairs, and after he had said goodbye to Rachel, Leo wandered into the clerks’ room. Liam and Robert were playing an impromptu game of cricket with a ball of paper tied with pink legal tape and a rolled-up copy of the Law Society Gazette. Robert whacked the ball towards the door, exclaiming, ‘Howzat!’

  Henry, coming in, fielded it deftly. ‘Enough, children,’ he said, tossing the ball into the waste-paper basket. ‘Liam, have all those Treasury fee notes been sent out yet? I thought not. Snap to it.’ He glanced across at Felicity, who was trying to wedge a very large copy of Chambers Legal Directory beneath her computer monitor. ‘Felicity, what are you doing?’

  ‘My new monitor’s too low. It’s driving me nuts.’

  ‘Well, that’s no good. What if someone needs to consult the directory? Anyway, there’s a thing at the back that slides it up and down. See?’

  Michael came in at that moment, holding his umbrella.

  ‘Felicity, I need a plaster. I cut my hand on my umbrella.’

  ‘On your umbrella? Honest to God – I don’t know how you manage to get through the day, Mr Gibbon, I really don’t. Just a minute while I sort this monitor out, then I’ll find the first-aid box.’

  Henry wandered over to where Leo was standing by his pigeonhole, reading a letter. ‘You look a bit grim, Mr D. Everything OK?’

  ‘Here, take a look.’ Leo handed the letter to Henry. ‘The JAC reckon I’m not High Court Bench material, after all.’

  Henry read the contents in disbelief. ‘I can’t understand it. I thought you were a dead cert. I’m really sorry, Mr D. I mean, I always said it would have been a huge loss for chambers, but I know it’s what you wanted.’

  ‘Well, I did in some ways. But in other ways …’ Leo glanced around the busy clerks’ room and sighed. ‘In other ways, I don’t much mind. I’d be grateful if you didn’t broadcast this, though.’

  ‘Course not. Discretion is my watchword. Still – always next year, sir, eh?’

  ‘Yes, Henry. There’s always next year.’