Heart of the Highlander

by Robbins, Kate

  “I did not bring a priest with me.”

  “Well then, I guess we will have to think of another way to resolve this.”

  “Like what?”

  “My mother and I can make our way west. Surely there is somewhere in Ireland we can live that will not put everyone at risk of being slain by the king, or kidnapped and raped by the Douglas, or hunted by whoever in Christ’s teeth’s name was here yesterday!”

  “Muren, I have not brought this upon you. I have done everything in my power to protect you and allow you the time you need.”

  “Are you saying I owe you?”

  He shook his head and scraped his hands down over his beard. She was driving him to madness. “Why do you twist my words? I offer to love and protect you, and you act as though I have orchestrated the madness around us to make it so.”

  She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. He watched as her expression softened before she lowered her head.

  Rorie reached for her hand. What used to be a delicate hold now contained strength. Aye, she had transformed, and he gloried in it. But she needed to trust him, not push him away.

  “Muren, of all the people in your life, I have never lied to you, nor have I ever pushed you to do something you did not want.”

  “I know that.”

  “Then tell me why you won’t have me.”

  She looked up into his eyes; the conflict there nearly broke his heart into a million pieces.

  “Do you know what Ada told me?”

  “No. But I would like to.”

  “She said I must bear a child in order for my affliction to cease.”

  It was what he wanted more than anything. But it appeared to him that she did not.

  Chapter Ten

  In her heart, Muren wanted everything she was being offered. The man she loved more than her own life was sitting before her offering his hand, and with him, she would be happier than anything. But still she hesitated. Ada’s words had affected her deeply. She’d said that Muren would need to bear a child in order for all her pain to end. Cold dread had crept into her belly at those words, at the possible meanings.

  “Muren, we have talked about the many children we want. Why does this make you hold back? What are you afraid of?”

  How could she tell him that Ada had suggested there was truth in her visions? Though he was supportive, it was likely he would try to convince her no one could see the future. Yet she was certain now that it was possible, for she had seen the men in the clearing hours before they had even arrived.

  What then was she afraid of? Everything, but mostly her new self. She had never been more assertive in her life, and that may be a good thing, but not to her own or anyone else’s detriment.

  “I do not want to hurt you, but it seems I shall, whichever decision I make.”

  “How do you hurt me if you marry me? The way I see it, you will be giving me the greatest gift of my life.”

  Mayhap she could be happy for a while. God knew the only time in her life she was truly happy was when she was with Rorie. Mayhap the future was not set, and mayhap it didn’t need to result in him being wounded. If she married him, he would not need to go to battle.

  “Then I consent, Rorie. I do love you, and I do want to be yours.”

  The smile that spread across his face warmed her to her very core. God, how this man could affect her so.

  “Do you truly mean it? No more hesitation?”

  She could not help but smile at him when he was so filled with joy at the prospect of their joining. How she longed for peace between them and for those around them. Just for now, she could put her worries aside and enjoy the love they shared. Never did she feel as much alive as when she was with him.

  “No more hesitation, I truly mean it. Do you think we will be safe at Eilean Donan?”

  “We will be married here, and I will have word sent to your brother. What happens after that we will have to wait and see. While Eilean Donan is very well placed strategically at the moment, no one knows where you are, and I would like to keep it that way until I am certain this is settled.”

  “So, we will stay here for the summer?”

  “You will, aye. I will travel back and forth, as I will need to see to some other family business.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My young sister wants a betrothal to the MacLeod and has threatened to run off with him if I do not. She is headstrong, but she is too young.”

  “I am sorry I am causing you added grief.”

  “No, love. I will do anything and everything to protect you and keep you safe. You are the other half of my heart, and to see it harmed would do great damage to me.”

  ’Twas the same way with her own heart. Rorie’s hand still held hers, only now his thumb stroked her skin, sending tingles up her arm. Her body’s reaction to him caused her to squirm in her chair. Staring into his brown eyes, she noted how his lips parted, wanting to feel them on her mouth, her neck, her body. It had always been like this between them.

  “I will send for a priest,” he said with a smile. “I cannot wait to make you mine.” His voice was so low that it almost resembled a growl.

  Muren’s nipples tightened, and her pulse picked up. She longed to discover what the rest of him could do to her, considering what his voice and stroking thumb could.

  “Aye, Rorie. I long to make you mine as well. Whatever may come, we will face it together.” Her words caught in her throat. How she could bear losing him, she did not know.

  Her mother entered the lodge then. “You wish to move us farther inland?”

  Rorie grinned at Muren. “That may not be necessary now.”

  “I do not understand? Hamish said I was to accompany them to a cottage and help sort it for us.”

  “Do you think we will be safe here now?” Muren asked him. He obviously thought that her marrying him would provide a certain level of protection. But was it enough? “We will need to be sure everyone knows, so they will not come looking.”

  She glanced at her mother with a grin.

  “Knows what?”

  Muren looked into Rorie’s eyes again. There was no uncertainty left. Though she was grateful for the time he’d allowed her, and she still had much to discover about herself, she would have him by her side to explore it together.

  “Rorie and I will be wed as soon as we can find a priest.”

  With that, Morag spread her arms wide and approached. Muren stood and embraced her mother.

  “Oh love, I am so pleased to hear it. You will not find a better man in all the Highlands.”

  Muren laughed. “Are you saying I might find a better man elsewhere?”

  “Hey!” Rorie said.

  “Well, I hear those Norsemen are quite the sight to behold.”

  “Enough of that,” Rorie said, breaking the two apart. “She said yes, and she’s not taking it back or looking at any other man.”

  “I may look.”

  Rorie tipped her chin up with his finger and leaned in close enough so that his breath fanned her face. He held her gaze and waited. She loved the way his right dimple was deeper than his left, even when he wasn’t smiling. Excitement tingled along her belly as his lips brushed across hers.

  “You may, but you will only see me,” he said.

  Muren blinked a couple of times to make sense of what he’d said. Then she remembered and smiled. He was right. No other man would hold her attention or her interest the way Rorie did.

  “Where will you find a priest?” asked her mother. “Skye? Iona?”

  Muren had never been to either. “Mayhap we can travel there together.”

  “ ’Tis too dangerous. By now, your brother will have scouts placed all along the Hebrides. We’ve been fortunate enough to escape notice, and I intend to keep it that way. I’ll send my men to return with a priest. That should not take more than three days.” He picked her up and swung her around. “If I can wait that long.”

  Holding onto him as he swun
g her, Muren could almost believe everything would be well. Perhaps it was just a dream, and there was no imminent danger to him or their future child. All she could say with absolute certainty right now was that it felt right and good to be in his arms.

  * * *

  Rorie walked along the path to the watchtower. If they were to stay here for any length of time, this structure would need to be sound and operational. As he passed the path leading to the pool, he grinned. The next warm day he fully intended to enjoy the deep cool pool with Muren. How he longed to explore her body and bury himself deep within her. He’d known her now for two years, and in that time, had grown to love her, but his passion for her had only intensified. Somehow, the prospect of losing her had fired his need for her even more.

  For now, he was satisfied they were away from prying eyes, and that awarded him time to breathe and think of his next move. Hugh and Thomas had sailed with the men to collect their family priest, Father Iain. In fact, the man’s counsel would be very much appreciated now. He was devout but possessed an uncommon understanding of the world and a perspective Rorie appreciated.

  In addition to the priest, Rorie had called for Ewen as well. He’d left his brother to ensure Mairi did nothing foolish, but if he was to get married, he wanted the only person he trusted with his life—save Muren—to attend.

  The only other thing he’d requested was a pair of pigeons. He’d need to build a rudimentary doocot for them, but he needed to communicate if he was to spend any time here and could not afford a three-day round trip each time. Ewen could keep him abreast of any advancement of the king’s army much easier that way.

  Standing at the base of the watchtower, Rorie noted the carvings in the wooden door. Hold Fast. ‘Twas the motto of Clan MacLeod. They’d built this watchtower during his grandfather’s time when both clans had battled over this land. He supposed technically it belonged to them, but he and the current chief, William the Long Sword, had met soon after his father’s death and determined that the MacKenzies could come and go as they chose if they would forfeit their claim. That was a satisfactory deal as far as Rorie was concerned. And it came in handy now, since most would not think to check this island as they would think it MacLeod land.

  Which begged the question: who were the two men who had come looking for Muren, and why here? Though courtesy would dictate Rorie should send word to the MacLeod, he was not willing to risk discovery. Carrier pigeons were only so reliable and, unless highly trained over similar paths, could be easily intercepted. Or the damned things sometimes just flew off. As it was, he wasn’t even sure if this distance was too much. The bird keeper, Bates, was gifted with them, for sure. If anyone could make it work, he could.

  Rorie inspected the structure then entered the watch tower. It was only about thirty feet high, and its top barely rose above the trees. In a few more years, the trees would need to be trimmed back or else it would afford a view of a random bird’s nest.

  The stairs on the inside were intact. Surprising for a structure some fifty-odd years old, and unused for much of it. He suspected being surrounded by the trees afforded it a certain amount of protection from the elements.

  At the top, he scanned the island before him. He had a great view of the pool and the cove. He could see the lodge, as well. It had been many years since he had stood in this very spot, and he’d forgotten just how perfect a vantage point it actually was. To the south, he could see Raasay and Skye farther beyond; to the east, he could see the mainland far off in the distance; and to the north and west, the sea. Aye, he’d keep a man up here and another on the ground. Unless anyone came by darkness of night, or under a blanket of mist, there would be no reason for a surprise visit. That satisfied him enough, and he turned to retreat down the stairs when movement caught his eye near the pool.

  Muren broke through the trees with Ada in tow. She guided the older lady to the pool and pointed to it. The old woman shook her head and tugged her hand away then turned to go back the way they had come. But Muren ran around in front of her. He could hear her voice raised but could not make out what she said.

  Ada placed her hands on her hips and pointed at Muren’s chest. Muren’s head lowered and her shoulders slumped. Then Ada stepped out around her and walked slowly through the path’s opening in the trees. Muren slumped to the ground and placed her head in her hands.

  Rorie descended the stairs two at a time. He ran along the path to the pool. When he got there, she was still on the ground and weeping.

  “Muren, what is it? Why do you quarrel with Ada?”

  She looked up with tear-streaked cheeks. “ ’Tis nothing, Rorie. I just asked her to look in the pool and tell me if she saw the same thing I did, but she refused to go near it.”

  “Why?”

  “She said that I need to forget those dreams and live in the here and now, but I can’t ignore them, Rorie. They are so very real to me.”

  His heart squeezed at the sight of her distress. He had never had a dream affect him so. “Perhaps she is right.”

  Her head snapped up, and she jumped to her feet, nearly knocking him over in the process.

  “How can you say that? I cannot just ignore what’s in front of me.” She marched over to the pool and pointed. “I saw a woman’s face in that pool, and I was fully awake when I saw her.”

  Rorie walked over to her and peered into the depths. As lads, he and Ewen had swum down to try to find the bottom and nearly drowned in doing so. After diving about ten feet, a strong undercurrent had pulled them down, and it was only by the grace of God that the two of them had managed to surface. His father had told them to only swim on the surface and to never dive there again. He had suspected the pool connected to a tunnel leading to the sea.

  “Muren, this pool is very deep. There is no way a woman could have been in there.”

  “I am not saying she was really there. I mean, she was there, but not a living, breathing person, like you and me.”

  Rorie shook his head. She was not making sense. “And you do not think you lay back and closed your eyes so that you may have dreamed it?”

  “No! I’ve said it before, I was not dreaming.” She placed her head in her hands again and sobbed. “I feel like I have lost my wits.”

  Rorie took her in his arms and tightly embraced her.

  “You are not going mad. There has been much happening around you, and you just need some time to let everything settle. Muren, I want you to talk to me, and only me, about these dreams, do you understand?”

  “Aye, but why?”

  “Love, if you start talking about a woman in a pool who tells you things that have not yet happened, I fear the stakes will be raised before you can blink an eye. People do not want to hear of such things. It frightens them.”

  “Does it frighten you?”

  “Aye, a little.”

  “Then imagine how I feel, and understand that I need answers.”

  “I do understand, love, and we will find them together.”

  She wrapped her arms around his torso and placed her head on his chest. Rorie returned the embrace and placed his chin on the top of her head. There was no doubt this was a messed-up situation. He longed for the day when they could sit by the hearth at Eilean Donan and enjoy a quiet evening, before taking her to his bed and pleasuring her all night. Just her nearness stirred him. But her vulnerability brought out his desperate need to keep her safe and away from a world that would have her on her knees and broken in a fortnight.

  Stronger she was; aye, that was true. But there was still much to be cautious about concerning her headaches and these dreams. Or visions. Which they were, in truth he could not say. But the point was, they bothered her and that was cause enough for him to help find some kind of solution.

  “Come, love, let us return to the lodge and speak with Ada. I am sure she can make up a concoction to help you relax.”

  “I do not want valeria or anything else that will dull my senses, but I would speak with her and offer an apol
ogy for my poor temper.”

  “I am sure she will understand. There is much more to that woman than meets the eye.”

  “That may be true, but she is wrong in telling me to ignore these visions, Rorie.”

  “You are too close to it to know that, Muren. I’m sure they feel very real to you, but look at it from where I stand, watching you suffer in pain, and then talking about visions and old women in a pool. It sounds—”

  “Like what? Like I am mad? That’s what I’ve been saying, Rorie. I feel like I am slipping into my own personal form of insanity and no one can see it, but me.”

  “You are not going mad. I won’t allow it.”

  She laughed a little then. “And how do you propose to stop it?”

  “I will drain this pool if I have to and haul the woman out by the hair of her head.”

  Muren laughed a little louder and longer. He loved the sound and wished he could hear more of it from her like he used to.

  “And what if she gets stuck in my head?”

  He pulled her close and cupped her bottom then squeezed, pressing her against his growing erection.

  “Then I will have to find ways to ensure only I am in your head.”

  Her expression softened, and her lips parted.

  “Kiss me, Rorie. Make me not think.”

  He needed no further encouragement. Rorie dipped his head until his lips were almost upon hers. He hovered there while she closed her eyes and waited. How far would he take it? They were alone and to be wed in three days. He couldn’t imagine anyone would chastise them for consummating their marriage a little early.

  Mayhap she needed this place to hold a better memory. Rorie grinned as he claimed her mouth and set about the task of wiping her memory clean of anything but the intense passion they shared.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rorie’s mouth on her neck sent shivers down her body so intense she was certain she’d burst into flames. She did not care if anyone happened upon them. She needed him now like she had never needed anything in her life.

  Tugging at the belt securing his tunic and his sword, Muren worked to get closer to the body she had longed for and now craved. His mouth found hers again as he undid the ties at the sides of her gown. Once the garment loosened, he grabbed a fistful of her skirt and pulled it upward.